I thought this was supposed to be the part of an “American Idol” season when the good singers showed up.
Sure, there were a couple of good performances, but there were just as many singers ranging from atrocious to forgettable last night which, I guess, is what you get when you expand the semifinal field from 24 to 36. (Apparently, expansion is having a bigger, more damaging effect on the talent level at “Idol” than it has on professional sports.)
In fact, the singing was almost as bad as the production values in last night’s episode. Detractors can say a lot of things about “American Idol”, but one thing it’s had going for it all these years is that it’s a relatively smooth television presentation considering all the chaos that must be going on behind the scenes.
All that being said, last night was a disaster all the way around. Everything — from the awkward parent interviews that appear to serve no purpose other than to incite a future screaming match between Simon and an angry mom, to the wrong video packages being queued up, to the random cuts to the ground backstage toward the end of a couple of the performances, to the GAWDAWFUL musical arrangements — was a massive fail.
But you’re not here to read about shoddy production values. Let’s talk about the singers.
The bottom line is that the fans will only be able to put through three singers from last night’s episode. (The rest will have to hope for a wild card spot.) As a result, I’ve divided last night’s singers (which looked like a promising bunch) into categories rating their chances of advancing to the top 12.
DONE
It was not a good week to be named “Steve” or “Stevie” or “Stephen” or “Steverino” or whatever.
Stevie Wright gave the night’s first fully atrocious performance by going with Taylor Swift. I actually thought it was an astute choice since Taylor Swift isn’t the strongest singer in the world (to put it lightly) and a strong singer could do one of her songs justice since Swift IS a good songwriter. However, Stevie, who’s only 17, managed to make “going young” look absolutely absurd. She also appeared to miss her cue to start the verse that was way too low for her. Thanks for playing Stevie.
I had higher hopes for Stephen Fowler, but the guy was doomed before he even opened his mouth thanks to the backing band’s cheesetastic arrangement for “Rock with You.” The actual performance wasn’t any better. My girlfriend Erica fell asleep twice, and I’m not even sure if she was kidding. Bad times for a formerly promising singer. I would bet all the money I have that these two are done.
I SHOULDN’T SAY THEY’RE DONE, BUT THEY ARE
Jackie Tohn led off the night and had the right idea in wanting to energize the crowd, but her “A Little Less Conversation” was much more hot-mess than groovy. Still, her vocals were nowhere near as bad as the workout pants she wore. The only reason she’s not in the “Done” category is because people out there might be into her brand of “kinda crazy.”
I realize it was completely superficial, but going into last night I figured there was room in the next round for Michael Sarver and Brent Keith, but not both of them. After last night, I don’t see either of them going through.
Michael took on Gavin DeGraw’s (overplayed on this show) “I Don’t Wanna Be” and sounded out of breath and brought nothing new to the table. When the best thing anyone can say about you is that you’re a nice guy, I don’t like you’re chances in a singing competition. Brent, on the other hand, had a shot at grabbing the country’s, um, country vote, but delivered an utterly forgettable version of “Hick Town.” However, the interesting thing about the new format is that it increases the chance that these singers only have one chance to sing, and Brent seemed perfectly content to show that he wanted to be a (forgettable) country artist instead of capturing the rest of America’s imagination. (Then again, judging by the pissed off look on his face after Simon’s critique, maybe he’s not so content to be one and done.)
I SHOULD SAY THEY’RE DONE, BUT THEY’RE NOT
The award for worst performance of the evening goes to Casey Carlson (pictured, right). Yes, Stevie and Stephen sounded worse, Jackie looked worse, but Casey was really able to put it all together in terms of sheer awfulness. She sounded terrible, she looked bad (the dancing was embarrassing), and the song choice of “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” was abysmal. I literally could not think of a worse song for her. And it’s not because “Sting is an icon”, but because it’s kind of a stupid song for a girl to sing and is completely unflattering if you’re trying to show your vocal prowess.
Of course, the reason I can’t say she’s done is because people think that she’s hot and might vote for her just to be able to keep looking at her.
The reason, Tatianna del Toro, on the other hand, isn’t done is because fewer contestants have gotten more exposure going into the semifinals. She dialed the craziness WAY down, which was actually a little unsettling. I kept waiting for her (craziness) to strike like a cobra. When she told us that it was our job to keep her dream alive, I said “There’s the Tatianna I know.” Still, the most unsettling thing about her performance was the judges’ admission that they were shocked that she was this good. Didn’t we all know that the girl could kind of sing? Why are the judges surprised? And isn’t their surprise basically admitting that they put her through because she’s a clown and not on singing merit. (I mean, we already knew that, but it’s still a bit confusing.) I would actually listen to arguments that said she was the second best girl last night.
THE CONTENDERS
So that leaves five contenders for three spots in Wednesday’s results show.
Coming into last night’s show Anoop Desai and Danny Gokey would have to have had a meltdown of Casey Carlson-esque proportions to not advance to the semifinal. I’m not sure if either of them were aware of their status as overwhelming fan favorites, but both played it disappointingly safe.
Danny Gokey was the better of the two, delivering a strong version of “Hero.” The main problem I really had with it was that he was singing “Hero” (cheesy! overdone!) and that 3/4 of the judges are still ridiculously overhyping him. I realize the latter is not Danny’s fault, but the way the judges fawned over his “very good, not great” performance was a bit off-putting. Anoop (who looks just like Ray Romano if you think about it) delivered a solid, unspectacular version of “Angel of Mine” that was nice, but not exciting at all. (How generous of him to share top billing with his backup singer?) I think he probably did enough to make it through, but I hope in the future he doesn’t go with songs I can already see him singing on YouTube. I know it’s the first week and he’d want to do something familiar, but he’s going to have to mix it up.
That would leave Ricky Braddy, last night’s surprise out of the mix and hoping for a wild-card spot. And watching the judges fawn over his version of “A Song for You” I think he’d get it. Personally, I thought he sounded good, but I felt like he oversang the song, didn’t really connect to the lovely lyrics at all and was more interested in showing that he could sing — which is fine, since we hadn’t actually heard from him since the audition rounds.
Assuming Danny grabs the lead guy spot, and Anoop grabs the wild card spot, that leaves Alexis Grace and Ann Marie Boskovich fighting for the top female spot.
I’d say Alexis was the real find of the evening, delivering an exciting, impressive performance of “I Never Loved a Man the way I Loved You” and out-Aretha’d Ann Marie’s “Natural Woman.” I can understand the judges’ critique that “Natural Woman” was too big for Ann Marie, but I actually liked her slightly-odd phrasing and off-kilter take. Ann Marie knows she’s not Jennifer Hudson, so she did the song her way, instead of trying to do it like a big, bad singer. Still, I actually think her and Ricky will end up grabbing two of the wild card spots.
Alexis (pictured, left) was clearly the evening’s best female and deserves the top spot. Of course, that doesn’t guarantee that she’ll make it, but I still think she was impressive enough to get the nod. How impressive was she? I actually called and voted for her to help make sure the evening’s best performance was rewarded. If someone like me (I’ve never voted before an “Idol” season finale) was inspired to pick up the phone and vote, my gut tells me other people will do the same. Finally.
So what’d you think of this episode? Do you think Ted Danson and Neil Patrick Harris hang out or did they just meet at the show? How do you like your Tatianna — meek, crazy or not at all? Finally, which three singers do you have advancing to the next round?
No comments:
Post a Comment