Hell's Kitchen: Three's a Crowd

Whatever you think of Andrea - the tiny terror of "Hell’s Kitchen" - I think we definitely have her to thank for making this final 3 episode funny, interesting and exciting.

I mean, we KNEW who the final two was going to be. We’ve known for at least a month. So thank you to the show’s producers (and Andrea) for entertaining me and for doubting the outcome of what should’ve been a totally predictable snoozer.

The continuation of "Hell’s Kitchen" found a considerably more harmonious (and considerably less delusional) atmosphere in "Hell’s Kitchen" with Big Ben gone. The final 3 (pictured, left) could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Well, Danny and Paula moreso than Andrea, as the show quickly re-established that Andrea was a major underdog. (At around that time, I marveled once again at how Andrea’s voice sounds almost exactly like Amy Poehler’s.)

In addition to the light at the end of the tunnel, the chefs could also see mysterious silhouettes gathered at the door. If you’ve seen the show before, you knew it was time for the annual family visits. Apparently, none of the final three had seen the show before because, as is ALWAYS the case, they looked totally shocked. The all-too brief (10 minutes!?) family visit was sweet, but I once again couldn’t help wondering how grown-ass adults can act like recently-released hostages upon the sight of their families. I realize this show is stressful and love my mom a LOT, but I don’t know that I’d cry like a baby if I didn’t see her for a little over a month.

The week’s challenge would be for the chefs to cook 100 portions of a high-end lunch for 100 mystery guests. Andrea wondered aloud if the mystery guests would be 100 kids (the show’s already done that, so maybe Andrea HAS seen the show before). The actual guests turned out to be a LOT scarier - they were 100 of L.A.’s finest culinary talents. Despite the fact that I’m no chef, I have to admit the sight of 100 white-chef-jacketed people lumbering into "Hell’s Kitchen" was scary. Then again, I suppose the sight of 100 people wearing the exact same thing (even a black hoodie) is generally frightening.

During the 90-minute cooking session, Danny decided to go with halibut, Paula decided to cook sturgeon, and Andrea (as usual) seemed frazzled and repeatedly talked to herself to pump herself up because there was no one else around to do it. (I swear this kinda made sense when she explained it.)

The results of the challenge were completely surprising - and not just because the show didn’t go out of its way to make it seem ridiculously close. Maybe that’s because there was no way to make it seem ridiculously close. Seventy six percent of them picked Paula’s dish as the best. Even more surprisingly, 76% off them picked Danny’s halibut as the worst.

Paula’s reward was a salon trip/mani-pedi and a limo ride with potential love interest Jean-Philippe. I LOVED how the show’s editors turned what was probably an innocent, friendly ride into a potential love connection. I just wish the show would decide if J-P is straight (is he not going back to Europe anytime soon because he’s staying here for Paula?) or gay (bringing in Francisco the annoying event planner earlier this year).

Back in "Hell’s Kitchen", Danny had the general look of someone whose dog had died. He was so down on himself that this is where I started to believe that it would affect his work during dinner service and (gasp!) open the door for Andrea to be in the final 2. Not helping matters was Andrea, who kept dropping subtle hints about how Danny had messed up and how soul-crushing their punishment was. Of course, this was completely f---ed up, but Andrea was WAY behind in the competition - she kinda had no choice but to try this.

The next day Paula got up early, met Chef Ramsay in the limo (No J-P? Will he even call?) and did a guest spot for "Good Day, L.A." - just in time for Danny and Andrea to see it on the TVs they were cleaning. The fact that Danny and Andrea reacted so positively and seemed genuinely pleased for Paula made this move seem a lot less cruel.

Before the dinner service, Chef Ramsay announced that each of the finalists would take their turns running the pass.

With Chef Scott and Chef Gloria in the kitchen for additional manpower, Paula was up first. Now, I can sort of accept a competitor on the show never having watched it before. (Though I still think it’s really dumb.) However, if that’s the case, the first person up at the pass has a major disadvantage given that they have no idea Chefs Scott and Gloria are going to try to sabotage them on purpose. That’s what happened here. Paula missed the first attempt at sabotage, but seemed to bounce back nicely and noticed Chef Scott’s mistake.

Danny was up next, and this is where the show threw in a nifty new trick. Jean-Philippe was in on the shenanigans and gave Danny a faulty ticket (which he missed). In fact, the executive chef’s big boy voice went on to crack (pretty funny) and he seemed to struggle for a longer amount of time than either of his two competitors.

Of course, you could make the case that Andrea’s brash, over-critical style was the worst performance (especially if you ask Chef Scott, who threatened to hit a woman for the second season in a row). However, I think Andrea was kind of a natural at the pass. In fact, she seemed more comfortable when she was running things than when she’s been, um, cooking. The best part was unquestionably Ramsay’s amused reaction shots to Andrea’s authority.

After the service, Ramsay asked the stumped chefs what was different about him. ("Your hair?" = lol!) What was different about him was that he was smiling for the first time after a dinner service for the first time in what seems like three years.

Still, someone had to go home, but instead of coming up with a consensus, he asked each finalist to nominate one person. Obviously Danny and Andrea nominated each other, so, once again, it was up to Paula to keep things real.

The show seemed to hint that Paula might side with her long time Red Team-mate, but Paula made the right choice again. Sure, Danny struggled this week, but, based on the entire competition, Andrea has CLEARLY been weaker.

So with that, Andrea was sent home with a kiss on the cheek from Ramsay. She’s been a pain in the ass for a good part of the season, but I was happy to see her leave on a high note (and so was she). More importantly, this episode proved that the show doesn’t have to be 100% humiliation porn to be entertaining.

So what’d you think of this episode? Was I the only one disappointed that Chef Ramsay didn’t do the thing where he made the finalists yell at him while he pretended to act all meek? Did you believe, for a second, that Andrea would be in the finals? Which returning contestant are you least looking forward to seeing? (I thought the answer for me would be Lacey, but it’s actually Crazy Caro or Big Ben.) Finally, who do you think is going to win? (I like Paula, but it feels like Danny is going to win.)