John's Quick Hit Thoughts on "Idol Gives Back"

Since I didn’t exactly watch the whole thing — and I actually spent the entire duration of the show unpacking from my recent move with the TV in the background — I’ll only give you some of my quick, random thoughts on the event, instead of a proper recap.

Were the 12 finalists REALLY talking on the phone to anyone?

The opening group number to Rihanna’s "Please Don’t Stop the Music" was surprisingly not excruciating. I’d say it was 60 percent less excruciating than the usual group number.

It was clever to also use the opening number as a commercial for the upcoming season of "So You Think You Can Dance."

Why the hell did this start at 7:30? The first 20 minutes were so boring that I flipped over to Jeopardy during Snoop Dogg’s performance.

Does it make me a terrible person that I sat through most of this thing and didn’t donate anything? (I suspect I’m probably a bad person for completely unrelated reasons.)

No matter how many times I hear David Beckham speak, I’m always a little taken aback by how his speaking voice doesn’t really match how he looks.

The Teri Hatcher bit where she sang "Before He Cheats" was NOT a trainwreck. In fact, it was fun! I’m not saying Teri should sign up for the next season of "Idol," but it was a silly, enjoyable bit nevertheless. Still, my favorite part was the random TV stars on stage who comprise "Band from TV" — Dr. Chase (Jesse Spencer) from "House" in his own world on the violin/fiddle, Mike Delfino (James Denton) from "Desperate Housewives" weirdly rocking out on guitar, and Matt Parkman (Greg Grunberg) from "Heroes" with one of those silly hats on drums. Also, I’d rather watch Teri Hatcher sing than this.

Why would Miley Cyrus agree to appear on this show if they were only going to make her look like a conceited brat during her bit with Billy Crystal where she runs down her success.

Also, this was the first time I saw her sing and, though I get that she’s a great role model and only 15, I just don’t get the hysteria surrounding the "Hannah Montana" phenomenon. She’s a nice girl and a passable singer, so why does it cost $500 to go to a concert?

Not that it was a competition or anything, but Forest Whitaker and Annie Lennox had the most effective packages from Africa. Really heartbreaking stuff.

By the way, OMG Annie Lennox is like SO fierce!

Speaking of fierce, is Fergie’s mission to perform in every single show ever? That being said, she was really good last night — although I felt like she DID sort of upstage Heart during "Barracuda." She was certainly better than Mariah Carey last night who actually sounded like she was sick or something. When did you think you’d see a show where Fergie would outperform Mariah?

I love me some "Rent", but that "Seasons of Love" group performance was pretty blah. It was downright bad in a couple of spots, but David A. saved it nicely. I give it a C, mostly because nobody stepped up and tried to hit the high note towards the end. Boo.

Brad Pitt’s grand entrance would’ve been a lot more effective if his mic had worked properly. Still, people screamed almost as loudly for him as they do for David Archuleta, so that’s nice.


Even though Jimmy Kimmel was actually pretty funny, we get it — Simon wears the same, ill-fitting clothes all the time and has man-breasts. I’m not really sure it was a great idea to turn the introduction of Simon and his charity video package into a roast.

That being said, Kimmel fared a lot better than Robin Williams. Sure, I chuckled a few times, but Williams just seems like he’s stuck in 1998, doing the same schtick (which went on for too long, by the way).

Finally, I’m really incredibly fortunate to be in a far more privileged situation than a lot of the people featured on the telecast. I’ll never take what I have for granted. Great job out of Idol raising more than $22 million to help them out.

So what’d you think of this show? Is Teri Hatcher a better singer than Carrie Underwood is an actress? Who was your favorite/least favorite performance? Finally, when is Robin Williams going to make a good movie again? I kinda miss him.