"Why, Erica, Why?" Summer Movie Library Series: Castle in the Sky

You know what they say: things come in twos.

Ok, so I know that what they REALLY say is that “things come in threes”, but in the case of the “WEW? Summer Movie Library Series” things come in twos. First we had two movies from the British Senior Citizen Nudity genre. Now we have two Hayao Miyazaki Films Involving Mobile Castles. (Stay tuned for the second entry in the Actors Directing Laughably Indulgent Movies genre, coming soon.)

I realize “Castle in the Sky” came out almost 20 years before “Howl’s Moving Castle”, but since I saw “Howl’s” first, “Sky” had this unshakable whiff of leftovers for me.

Don’t worry — the unfairness in how I’ll judge “Castle in the Sky” doesn’t end there.

Once again, I decided to watch the English dub instead of the Japanese original with subtitles (I have nothing against subtitles, I was just curious about the semi-famous American actors in the English dub). Unlike “Howl”, the American dub in “Castle in the Sky” is fairly brutal.

The story opens as pirates led by a tough old broad named Dola (voice of Cloris Leachman — yes, THAT Cloris Leachman) try to get a crystal away from a young girl named Sheeta (voiced by Anna Paquin). Sheeta eventually teams up with a boy named Pazu (voice of James Van Der Beek — wha?!) to try and outrun the pirates and slithery government agents led by Muska (voice of Mark Hamill) who want the crystal. The crystal is the key to finding the mythical, sky castle known as Laputa.

Van Der Beek and Paquin are the worst voice actors in the cast by a mile, which is a bit of a problem since they’re our two leads. Van Der Beek’s whiny young adult voice is a terrible fit for Pazu, who doesn’t look like he’s any older than 13 or 14. For her part, Paquin appears to attempt a British at a few junctions, but abandons it just as quickly. A bigger problem is that both of their performances range from irritating (Van Der Beek) to completely ineffective and forgettable (Paquin).

Leachman and Hamill fare much, MUCH better. Leachman is the movie’s effective comic relief as the semi-grotesque older pirate who eventually takes a liking to Sheeta. You can tell Leachman is having fun with the character and that’s conveyed in the movie. Meanwhile, Hamill (an accomplished voice actor following his Luke Skywalker days) makes for an effective, scary, villain.

Still, not all of the movie’s faults have to do with the disappointing English dub. Though it has considerably more action than “Howl’s Moving Castle”, “Castle in the Sky” manages to be more boring (we lost Erica to a nap about 45 minutes in). That just goes to show that you can have all the action in the world, but if we don’t care about the people in the middle of the action, it can all result in a big yawn.

This movie still boasts some stunning visuals (pretty much all the aerial action sequences) and impressive imagination. However, it also features a few too many jarring headscratchers for my taste (why was everyone ok with the pirates hitting on Sheeta, who looked like she was 12 years old?)

In the end, I can see why Miyazaki is so revered and I’d certainly be open to seeing more of his movies (especially “Spirited Away”, which is supposed to be his masterpiece). However, I found them a bit lacking in the storytelling department.

Castle in the Sky…C (Probably a C+ or a B- with the original Japanese track)