Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: The Award Goes To...

As “Nip/Tuck” nears its ultimate end, I suppose the time was right for the show to go back to the beginning.

And I’m not just talking about the show literally going back to its origins and showing us how Sean and Christian first met. I’m talking about an episode that harkened back to the time when people could still make a case that this show was a serious drama by showing restraint (well, what passes for restraint on THIS show anyway) and focusing heavily on the past, present and future of its two main characters.

(Ok, so there was that mile-high sexcapade between Sean and the weirdly aggressive chocolatier, but this is still “Nip/Tuck” and those types of shenanigans simply can’t be avoided – and are expected.)

The episode opened with a bang – as in Sean banging a sledgehammer against a pretty marble wall and destroying an important-looking trophy called the Albert Poland award.

The events leading up to Sean’s destructive redecorating job were revealed afterwards. Apparently, ALL the financial problems from season 6 are gone (I don’t mind, they were a drag anyway) and McNamara/Troy are rolling in cash. Cue the new female designer who Christian is almost-certainly banging. (Obviously, it turned out he was.)

Still, Sean and Christian were mostly glowing after being awarded the prestigious Albert Poland award by the University of Miami.

Before they flew back to accept the prize, they had to deal with patient of the week, Dan Daly. I have to hand it to the show’s writers – they keep digging deeper and deeper and coming up with truly fascinating, scary, freaky, interesting afflictions for their patients.

Dan suffered from a neurological disease (which I have no chance of spelling correctly) that makes him prone to angry outbursts and causes him to mutilate himself. The life expectancy for people with his affliction is 45 (watching this guy, I thought to myself, “That high?!”) and Dan had just turned 46.

Of course, this (and what he saw as a lifetime achievement award) caused Sean to re-evaluate his life, specifically his first meeting with Christian. (“We Belong Together” in the soundtrack was a nice touch.)

This is the part of my recap where I stop and applaud the actors who played the younger versions of Sean and Christian. (ESPECIALLY Andrew J. West as young Christian, who we knew was a douche because he had a popped collar.)

The flashbacks would’ve been amusing on their own, but they actually revealed new information about the characters. Sure, Sean and Christian have referenced their college days repeatedly in the past, and we could all deduce that Sean basically carried Christian through med school, but I was surprised to learn that Christian deliberately sabotaged Sean and kept him from getting into Harvard out of fear of losing him (and his coattails).

The sabotage itself is not surprising, and neither is the fact that Sean ultimately (wimpily?) forgave his friend. I was surprised to realize that Christian’s destructive shenanigans went back THAT far. If you subscribe to the notion that Sean’s life sucks (I personally think he can be a bit of a stick in the mud and I can appreciate that Christian loosens him up), then you could make the case that Christian helped ruin his life. (Though I agree with Christian in that Sean needs to take some responsibility for himself.)

However, I don’t subscribe to the notion that Sean’s life is COMPLETELY horrible. He’s a hot-shot, successful plastic surgeon in L.A. and, for better or worse, (ok, mostly worse) he couldn’t have gotten there without Christian. That symbiotic relationship has been the show’s major theme and, thus far, it’s been impossible for Sean to break.

I mean, even after it was revealed that Christian essentially bought the Albert Poland award, Sean (and I) couldn’t be 100% mad at the guy because he did it for Sean. (He thought the legitimacy of the award might make him feel better about his work.) Although Sean and Christian had a nice, touching scene at the end, it still feels like the two will go their separate ways by the end of the series. I haven’t decided whether that’s what I want to see, but I’m interested to see how the writers handle it either way.

Of course, Christian’s major problem is that his affection for Sean doesn’t extend to anyone else in his life. Apparently, Christian and Kimber are now married, but that didn’t stop Christian from impregnating the decorator. (That vasectomy was WAY overdue.) I thought Kelly Carlson did some strong work towards the end of last season, so I hope she isn’t stuck playing Christian’s fool for very long.

So what’d you think of this episode? How much of Matt and (shudder) Julia are you hoping to see in the final season? Finally, would you like this season to be more serious like this episode or more crazypants, like the last few years?

Heroes: Good Grief

“Heroes” came back this week from its month-long break, and I’m here to report that it’s…still not very good.

If you had told me going in that these two hours would have a 0% Mohinder/Parkman content (well 1% if you count the opening narration), I would’ve been giddy. Despite this happy development, the show’s laughably-bad writing and uninspired storytelling still outweigh the good.

I also wish I knew the show is SO intent on having the audience hate Hiro.

I mean, did Masi Oka not buy the show’s writing staff a nice enough gift after season 1? I guess they didn’t feel having him, literally, act like a child a while back wasn’t embarrassing enough, so they had to make him act like a moron.

It seems a combination of Hiro’s brain tumor and whatever Samuel’s dreadlocked friend did to him have scrambled his brain to the point where he’s regurgitating everything he ever learned from pop culture (more specifically Sherlock Holmes, “Star Wars” and Don Quixote). (Audible sigh) I’m just going to look on the bright side and praise the fact that the writers found a way to reincorporate Ando – he was the only one who could decipher Hiro’s ramblings – since the character hasn’t done a damn thing this year. It turns out that Hiro was trying to convey that they need to break Mohinder out of that mental institution in Florida (why Florida?), but since we saw the trio escaping at the end of last month’s fall finale, this whole exercise felt especially tedious and pointless. Also tedious and pointless? Bringing back Mohinder!

A good portion of the first hour followed yet another of Samuel’s recruiting trips. (He should’ve just recruited her when he made his pitch to Peter and saved gas.) Fortunately, he went to visit a character we’ve already met and who has the potential to play a larger role in the season’s main storyline. (Which NEEDS to get tightened and focused in a hurry.)

Samuel informed Emma that she could not only see sound, but that when she played the cello (that he sent), she could draw other people with abilities to her like a siren’s song. (Since young Molly Walker has apparently been written out of this show, having another character with the ability to locate people is mighty convenient.) Samuel used Emma to recruit a hobo who looked like Ricky Williams when he was REALLY into pot. Fortunately, the hobo cleaned up well and used his Miracle-Gro powers to seemingly build Samuel’s dream homeland for people with abilities.

Except that the show is obsessed with keeping Samuel firmly entrenched in the gray zone. I mean, honestly – would it be so bad if Samuel’s ONLY ambition was to build this homeland for his people? Sure, the character would still be part-villain (since he’s willing to kill for his goal), but at least his goal would be relatively pure.

Instead, we keep getting fed information that suggests Samuel is just a power-hungry tyrant. If that wasn’t enough, it now seems that another one of his goals is to reconnect with Vanessa, the love of his life who was referenced in a flashback sequence that featured his brother Joseph (who was much jerkier as a young boy.)

Anyway, just when Claire had decided that Samuel was a bad guy after some prodding from Lydia (I was pretty impressed by Dawn Olivieri in these two episodes – I hope they use her more), Samuel reveals his homeland valley and she’s back on-board with the carnival crew. So to recap, just when Claire was about to do something, she doesn’t. Which leaves us (the audience) nowhere. Then again, good on Claire for being able to overlook the fact that the Replicating Man (hey, his name is Eli!) spent most of that first hour stalking and terrorizing her under Samuel’s orders.

Then again, maybe the reason I’m annoyed about Samuel being stuck in the gray zone is because that’s basically what ruined Sylar’s character. Let’s be honest here – didn’t we like him more when he was all bad? Did we need to learn his sad back story (over and over and over again)? I LOVED that he showed up at the carnival ready to eat up some powers, but having him be “impotent” seemed like another gratuitous delay solely for storyline purposes. (It's probably bad that I was disappointed when Sylar did NOT kill him, right?)

Then I thought about it some more, and I appreciated the fact that the show was actually exploring what Hiro had told Sylar in the Texas flashback (that he was going to die alone). Unfortunately, I then started thinking about what sad shape “Heroes” is in that I’m actually delightfully impressed when this show displays ANY sort of continuity and I got sad again. Oh well, at least there was some shirtless Sylar for the ladies.

I realize I seem to be doing a lot of complaining (because I am), so here’s something good. I though the show’s transition from the first hour (ending with Claire getting the call about Nathan’s death) to the second (Nathan’s unnecessarily slow-mo funeral and wake) was very well done. I also thought having the flyover during Nathan’s burial was an excellent touch for our favorite flyboy senator. (I’ll even overlook the silliness of having Nathan’s illegitimate daughter make a dramatic entrance, while his ex-wife and kids get the long-distance camera shot treatment – come on, Rena Sofer, make a cameo!)

I’m also still digging Milo Ventimiglia’s Peter Petrelli this season. He basically did everything he could to get himself killed to avoid grieving. Sure, the hostage situation was COMPLETELY silly and very poorly staged, but Ventimiglia and Hayden Panetierre had some nice moments together. It was particularly nice to see the two bring up Claire’s ex-boyfriend West because I thought all characters were under strict orders to pretend like season 2 never happened.

Unfortunately, I don’t see Peter getting over this any time soon. Is anyone else feeling a special appearance by ghost Nathan telling Pete to let him go down the line?

So what’d you think of this episode? Why was there a stool in the Hall of Mirrors? (Think about it.) Will Noah and Lauren be able to find the carnival on their own since Edgar took off? (I’m actually liking them as a team.) Finally, what do you think Sylar’s wants with Claire?

NFL Wild Card Weekend Picks

This basically looks like one big rerun.

Each of the four playoff matchups this weekend are rematches of regular season contests. Three out of those four games took place just last week!

The big difference, of course, is that all the teams involved in this Saturday’s Wild Card weekend playoff games will actually be trying. (Why even show up to the stadium, Arizona?) I’m also a fan of rematches because I’m curious to see whether the team that lost the first time will be vengeful enough to overcome the winning team’s confidence.

With the regular season over (I finished with a decent 152-91 record overall), I’m wiping the slate clean. Let’s jump right into these playoff games, ok?

N.Y. JETS @ BENGALS
This is the first matchup, and it’s the toughest one of the weekend for me to call.

First of all, I actually believe the Bengals were trying to win that Sunday night game in the beginning (despite resting Cedric Benson) – the only problem was that the Jets absolutely dominated them. The Jets are a nightmare of a matchup for the Bengals, who can’t throw the ball downfield (and may be missing Chad Johnson) to open up the running game.

But do I REALLY want to take a rookie QB (a shaky, turnover-prone rookie QB, at that) on the road in his first playoff game? I actually like Sanchez (despite that pathetic wisp of a playoff beard he’s had going on the last few weeks, pictured, left), so I think I do.

PHILADELPHIA @ DALLAS
The Cowboys look great, there’s no way around that fact. You’ve been roped in, haven’t you? Now there’s actually talk of picking up Wade Phillips’ option and maybe giving him an extension. You’re officially sucked in. I feel bad for you.

BALTIMORE @ NEW ENGLAND
This makes no logical sense (especially with the Patriots losing WR Wes Welker), but I’m just completely out of love with the Ravens. They always seem to underperform and beat themselves when they play anyone who’s any good. Also, don’t the Patriots usually just find a way?

GREEN BAY @ ARIZONA
I’m not falling for you “stumbling into the playoffs before going on a hot streak” act anymore. Nice try, Cardinals.

NFL 2009 Week 17 Picks

Like the Saints and the Vikings, I’m limping into the playoffs.

After nothing but success, I’ve had two losing weeks in a row (7-9 week, 142-85 overall). Unlike the Saints and the Vikings, my picks record doesn’t really mean anything, so if I don’t get myself straightened out the worse that’ll happen is I’ll get mocked online. (On the other hand, if the Vikings don’t get straightened out, they could become the third consecutive franchise to get temporarily blown up by Brett Favre. Also, if the Saints don’t get straightened out, they’re letting down an entire city.)

No pressure.

INDIANAPOLIS @ BUFFALO
If Jim Caldwell wanted to rest his players, that’s fine. Announce that you’re starting them and pulling them at halftime. However, making everyone (including his starters – did you see how annoyed some of the Colts looked on the sideline?) think he was going to play to win, only to pull the rug out from under everybody is bad karma. Yes, the Colts were 14-0 and had earned the right to do whatever the hell they wanted. Still, intentionally throwing away a close game with playoff implications is poopy. I hope the Jets get into the playoffs and beat the Colts in the second round!

JACKSONVILLE @ CLEVELAND
Does anyone know why the Browns decided they wanted to try and save Eric Mangini’s job with four weeks to play? Anybody?!

SAN FRANCISCO @ ST. LOUIS
Remember how I bashed the Colts for throwing a game away that had playoff implications? Well, that doesn’t really apply here. I’m not saying the Rams should TRY to lose – I’m saying that a loss here means they win the Ndamukong Suh (pictured, right) sweepstakes, which isn’t the worst thing in the world.

PITTSBURGH @ MIAMI
I know Pittsburgh needs a LOT of help to get into the playoffs, but I’m getting a Jason Vorhees vibe from this team – they will NOT die!

N.Y. GIANTS @ MINNESOTA
Dome sweet dome.

ATLANTA @ TAMPA BAY
I’ll believe that Bill Cowher and his chin are coming to Tampa when I see it. Also, don’t look now, but the Bucs have noticeably improved in the past month or so. I wonder how good of a job Raheem Morris could do if he got good players in here.

NEW ORLEANS @ CAROLINA
Matt Moore, the quarterback of the future for the Panthers? Why the hell not?

NEW ENGLAND @ HOUSTON
I know New England has nothing to play for and will likely rest their starters, but one of Newton’s Laws of Physics is that the Texans HAVE to finish 8-8, right? (In a related story, they’re 8-7 right now.)

CHICAGO @ DETROIT
I think the Bears will have a second consecutive strong showing that will be just enough to save Lovie Smith’s job. (Insert groan from Bears fans.)

BALTIMORE @ OAKLAND
I know the Raiders are frisky, but Baltimore simply CAN’T blow this fantastic chance to get into the postseason – can they?

GREEN BAY @ ARIZONA
These two potential first-round opponents won’t (and shouldn’t) show their opponent too much. By the way, watch out for Arizona.

WASHINGTON @ SAN DIEGO
After two consecutive stink bombs, I vote that we banish Washington from prime time for the next two seasons. No? Ok, how about just Jason Campbell?

TENNESSEE @ SEATTLE
Seattle is so bad that I’d be surprised if Chris Johnson did NOT rush for 234 yards and breaks the single-season record.

PHILADELPHIA @ DALLAS
Don’t you see what they’re doing, Cowboys fans? They’re roping you in for another playoff choke job. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

KANSAS CITY @ DENVER
I think scholars will be debating for years to come whether the Broncos 2009 season was successful. They appeared to meltdown before a single game was played, but started 6-0 before getting to where they are now – on the verge of missing the playoffs. Oy, my head hurts – I’ll let you figure this one out.

CINCINNATI @ N.Y. JETS
I just have a bad feeling about this one. Sorry, Jets fans.

Brothers Review

I’m pretty sure there was a period of time years ago when I (and you) thought Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal were the same person.

(It’s called the Bill Paxton/Bill Pullman phenomenon and it refers to two celebs who only vaguely look like each other, but get confused for one another all the time for no good reason.)

So I suppose it makes sense that Maguire and Gyllenhaal finally ended up playing siblings in “Brothers”, director Jim Sheridan’s remake of a 2004 Danish drama of the same name.

Maguire plays Capt. Sam Cahill, a Marine with a wife named Grace (Natalie Portman) and two daughters (the excellent Bailee Madison and Taylor Geare) who is about to embark on his fourth tour of duty in Afghanistan. Gyllenhaal plays Tommy Cahill, Sam’s irresponsible brother who just got out of jail.

When Sam’s helicopter is shot down overseas and he is presumed dead, Tommy gradually steps up to help Grace and the two eventually become, um, closer.

I don’t think it’s a major spoiler to say that Sam survives the crash and is captured and imprisoned by the Taliban before eventually being rescued.

Sheridan (“In America”) takes his sweet time in telling his story. This works better for the first half of the flick — when we’re still getting to know the characters and watching their relationships develop (particularly Tommy and Grace’s) — than it does for the final portion. In fact, it appears that Sheridan took so much time in the beginning, that the movie’s final act feels hurried and unsatisfying.

That’s too bad, because Tobey Maguire is kind of excellent in this movie. I’ve always thought he was a decent-to-good actor, but I didn’t really think he had THIS in him.

Right from the very beginning, you can tell Sam doesn’t feel as comfortable at home with his family (even as he playfully wrestles with his daughters) as he is doing his job. Maguire also plays Sam’s initial resolve and harrowing breakdown during his imprisonment equally well. By the time he comes back to the States, Maguire makes him look like a thoroughly disconnected ghost.

Meanwhile, Natalie Portman always looks too young for the role she’s playing. Fortunately, that quality serves her well here, since Grace is understandably overwhelmed by the news of her husband’s death. Though the film is called “Brothers”, I actually would’ve liked to have seen a stronger focus on Grace, since she ends up being the siblings’ focal point. However, the story is more equally divided between Sam and Tommy.

Gyllenhaal is fine as Tommy. I would’ve preferred the character to have been more dark and disturbed than what we got. The way Gyllenhaal played him he was simply a lazy, irresponsible jackass with Jake Gyllenhaal’s puppy dog eyes. I get that the character was supposed to have a good heart, but I would’ve liked to have seen an element of danger from Tommy.

Though the acting is strong overall (including the best child performance I’ve seen this year by Madison and another nice, cranky turn by Sam Shepard) the movie ends up being somewhat sabotaged by a rushed finale. (Sam catches on to Grace and Tommy’s connection almost instantly and things quickly spiral out of control.)

Oh well, at least now we have definitive proof that Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal are two different people.

Brothers…B

Ninja Assassin Review

It’s kind of a shame that a great title like “There Will Be Blood” was wasted on a film about an oilman.

Not only could it be used as a substitute for any of the 27 “Saw” movies, but it would also perfectly describe “Ninja Assassin”, the latest production from the Wachowski Brothers (“The Matrix”).

Then again, “Ninja Assassin” is a pretty damn concise title in its own right.

In case you couldn’t guess (or you thought the title was ironic), the movie follows Raizo (played by Korean pop star Rain), a – wait for it – ninja assassin who trained how to be a killer from a very early age until he and the rest of his clan had a disagreement.

Eventually, Raizo teams up with pretty (of course she’s pretty, this is a movie) Europol agent Mika (Naomie Harris), who uncovers the idea that real-live ninjas have been performing political assassinations for years and becomes a target.

Personally, I thought that would’ve been an interesting angle for the movie to explore. However, director James McTeigue (“V for Vendetta”) and co-writers Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski had other ideas.

Maybe it’s because I saw this movie at around 10:40 a.m. (it was probably too early in the morning for me to see people’s heads exploding and arms and legs being sliced off), but I was taken aback at first by the insane ultraviolence in this movie. (Another contributing factor was probably the relatively low-key ad campaign for this movie – then again, what did I expect walking into a movie called “Ninja Assassin”?!)

I’m no prude, and I eventually settled into the movie’s crazed rhythm. I just wish that if the movie were going to go SO gleefully over-the-top with the violence, it would extend that sense of playfulness to other parts of the flick.

Instead, what we get is a fairly humorless and (even worse) standard tale about a lone martial arts warrior who survived excruciating training (told through one or two too many flashbacks), loses a woman he loves and vows revenge. I’m not saying the tone had to be “Kung Fu Hustle” goofy, but the non-action scenes could’ve definitely used some sense of playfulness.

It’s a shame too because I got the feeling Rain could’ve been a completely magnetic lead if given the chance. He certainly looked the part physically, but I would’ve liked to have seen a little more of the star’s charisma shine through. Instead, Harris probably gives the movie’s most appealing performance, while Sho Kosugi is scary and completely badass as the cruel leader of the ninja assassin clan.

Of course, the real star of the movie is the action sequences. The massacre that opens the movie will grab your attention, to say the least. I actually enjoyed the more subtle effect of having the ninjas appear and disappear through the shadows.

In the end, “Ninja Assassin” probably accomplished what it set out to do — that would be entertaining audiences with its impressive, over-the-top action sequences.

I just wish the movie would’ve had a little more fun doing it.

Ninja Assassin…C+

NFL 2009 Week 16 Picks

I interrupt this Christmas break for some NFL quick picks.

(Yes, I know I missed out on Friday night's Titans/Chargers game, but if it makes you feel any better, I was gonna pick the Titans, so I'm off to an 0-1 start this week.)

Last time, I had my first losing week of the year (7-9 week, 135-76 overall). The (predicted) winners for week 16 are in bold.

BUFFALO @ ATLANTA
KANSAS CITY @ CINCINNATI
OAKLAND @ CLEVELAND
I'm surprised that I'm actually still alive to do these pics - last Sunday, I watched Jerome Harrison rack up 67 points on my bench as I lost my opening-round playoff game in my fantasy football money league. Fortunately, I got talked off the ledge.
SEATTLE @ GREEN BAY
I had NO idea how bad Seattle was until I saw them get demolished by the Bucs last week.
BALTIMORE @ PITTSBURGH
HOUSTON @ MIAMI
JACKSONVILLE @ NEW ENGLAND
TAMPA BAY @ NEW ORLEANS
CAROLINA @ N.Y. GIANTS
DETROIT @ SAN FRANCISCO
ST. LOUIS @ ARIZONA
N.Y. JETS @ INDIANAPOLIS
DENVER @ PHILADELPHIA
DALLAS @ WASHINGTON
MINNESOTA @ CHICAGO

Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: Do No Harm

For a show that’s had both feet firmly planted in the highly-stylized, “Screw logic! We’re gonna be as crazy as we can and have fun doing it” camp for the last couple of seasons, the latest season finale of “Nip/Tuck” was a real downer.

I mean, even the obligatory sex scene — a pregnant Kimber seducing Dr. Mike in hopes of tricking him into thinking he knocked her up — was more sad and desperate than it was hot. (Although Mike instantly diagnosing that she was pregnant was funny.)

Now, I’ve actually been ok with the show’s foray into ridiculousness — it’s not like “Nip/Tuck” is pretending to be all classy like “Mad Men” and I dig the unpredictability and, yes, the joyful depravity of the more outlandish episodes.

Still, “Wesley Clovis” was probably the closest this show has come to being a serious drama since its season 2 heyday. I realize the previous sentence should be unquantifiable praise, but I mostly felt like I was thrown for a loop.

I mentioned Kimber before, and I have to go back there again because Kelly Carlson has been kind of excellent the last couple of weeks.

Kimber notified Christian that he was pregnant, but Christian – having apparently taken too many of his asshole pills earlier in the day – told her to get rid of “it” if she wanted to be with him. After Plan B (Mike) didn’t work out, Kimber did what Kimber always ends up doing – she made a major sacrifice in order to satisfy Christian.

One of the episode’s unexpected treats was the scene between Kimber and Liz, the only person Kimber could think of to drive her home after her abortion. Earlier in the episode, Liz had surmised that Kimber getting pregnant was a way for her to keep Christian around. However, watching the two women bond over their “hate that I love him” relationship with Christian was touching. THIS is a good use of Liz, as opposed to the scorned, spiteful ex-wife from earlier this season.

It would’ve been nice if Christian’s character had SOME shading in this episode. Despite his actions and the fact that Kimber has said that she doesn’t believe Christian has a heart, I think we can all agree that the show has gone out of its way to show us that Christian, no matter how misguided and selfish he is, is NOT 100% evil. That’s why it was so disappointing to see him behave so horribly toward Kimber.

Maybe we can chalk it up to the fact that he was concerned about Matt’s life.

Sean and Christian were presented with an enticing offer: if they performed liposuction on a death room inmate accused of rape and murder to make him fit for execution, Matt would be let go. (Good negotiating skills, Christian!) Christian jumped at the chance, but Sean wasn’t interested in contributing to the death of a human being.

This was confusing for a couple of reasons. 1.) When Matt was a fugitive, Sean was the one who didn’t want to turn Matt into the police, while Christian was the one who thought jail would do him well. I can understand Christian’s change of heart, given that he knows how Matt has been terrorized in jail, but it was confusing to see Sean act this way. 2.) I’ve seen every last episode of this show (and I have them all on DVD) – let’s just say Sean has done WAY worse things from an ethical standpoint than helping the state execute an inmate.

Speaking of which, I would’ve appreciated if the simpleminded Wesley Clovis (played in a nice dramatic turn by the great Eric Stonestreet of “Modern Family”) hadn’t been so obviously innocent. The simpleminded inmate being executed gave off a whiff of “The Green Mile”, while the “my cellmate confessed to REALLY committing the crime” reeked of “The Shawshank Redemption.” (I guess the writers were reading some Stephen King in their Book of the Month club.)

Anyway, the guys eventually agreed to the surgery, and Matt was free to go. Matt chose his freedom even though it meant that an innocent man was being executed. I know we were meant to be surprised by Matt’s choice to let a man die so he can go free, but why? Matt’s pretty much always been a loser scumbag – now he’s got an evil streak just like his (biological) daddy. The warden was right – Matt’s not exactly rehabilitated.

That led to the heartbreaking execution scene (very well played by Stonestreet, Dylan Walsh and Julian McMahon), which came before an even better scene.

Previous “Nip/Tuck” cliffhangers have had Christian in the hands of the Carver, and Sean bleeding to death after being attacked. That’s why I appreciated the subtlety of all the main characters (and the kids who are only dragged out to let us know the writers haven’t forgotten that these people are supposed to have kids) coming together and eating Chinese food at the end.

Everything looked all right on the surface (kind of the theme of the show), but we all knew the horrors they were each masking.

So what’d you think of this episode? Were you surprised to hear almost no mention of the practice’s financial troubles? Would you have told the truth if you were Matt? Finally, were you hoping for/expecting a more outlandish finale?

NFL 2009 Week 15 Picks

Week 15 of the NFL season gives us games on Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday.

Football in four out of the next seven days? Yes, please.

I did well with my picks last time (11-5 week, 128-67 overall) but things are about to get tricky as certain teams start resting players, while others make a push for the playoffs.

INDIANAPOLIS @ JACKSONVILLE
The Jags seem to usually play the Colts pretty close and there’s no way to know for sure when Colts coach Jim Caldwell will start sending his starters to the bench. Out of the two teams that are undefeated, the Colts appear to be the one that really doesn’t care about going 16-0, but I’m still going with Indy. Going with Indy has served me well this year…

DALLAS @ NEW ORLEANS
…so has going with the Saints. Even if the Cowboys weren’t on the verge of their annual collapse, I’d love New Orleans at home.

ATLANTA @ N.Y. JETS
I don’t know if it’ll be Mark Sanchez vs. Matt Ryan or Kellen Clemens vs. Chris Redman. I DO know the Jets defense has sneakily started dominating opponents again in recent weeks.

SAN FRANCISCO @ PHILADELPHIA
I was tempted to go with the Niners, but then I remembered Alex Smith would be starting on the road in Philly. No thanks.

NEW ENGLAND @ BUFFALO
The Patriots’ only road win this year was against the Bucs (in England). That’s not good.

CHICAGO @ BALTIMORE
The Bears aren’t kinda bad – they’re REALLY bad!

MIAMI @ TENNESSEE
Might sneakily be the best game of the week. I’ll take the resurgent Titans, even if Vince Young doesn’t end up playing.

CLEVELAND @ KANSAS CITY
Might (not-so) sneakily be the worst game of the week. Oh well, at least Jamaal Charles is doing his part to keep both of my fantasy teams alive. Hope he keeps it going through the (fantasy) playoffs.

ARIZONA @ DETROIT
The Cardinals laying that egg in San Francisco on Monday night was the most predictable thing in the world. So is Kurt Warner’s inevitable 4 TD game on Sunday.

OAKLAND @ DENVER
I like the Raiders approximately 120% less without scrappy Bruce Gradkowski leading them. How bad is JaMarcus Russell? The Raiders skipped right over him and are apparently starting Charlie Frye, whose name sounds like one of those made-up quarterbacks that show up when you play the Franchise mode of Madden for too long.

CINCINNATI @ SAN DIEGO
The Chargers are the second-best team in the AFC right now and they seem to own the best team in the AFC right now. Be afraid, Colts – be VERY afraid.

GREEN BAY @ PITTSBURGH
The Steelers aren’t kinda bad without Troy Polamalu – they’re just bad. (But not as bad as the Bears.)

TAMPA BAY @ SEATTLE
Ever since I said Josh Freeman (pictured, right) was better than Matt Moore, Freeman is on a 0 TD – 8 INT tear. I’ll just keep quiet from now on.

MINNESOTA @ CAROLINA
Why didn’t NBC flex their way out of this one and give us Bengals/Chargers in primetime instead?

N.Y. GIANTS @ WASHINGTON
The Redskins have a great instinct for rising up against hated division opponents. I just see it happening next week against the Cowboys.

Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: Brotherly Love

This show does a lot of crazy crap that I’ll forgive, but playing the previously-unseen/dead relative card isn’t crazy…it’s lazy.

And that, I’ll almost never forgive.

On top of that, seeing as how it was the last episode before the show’s fall finale/sixth season ender/whatever the hell they’re actually calling this thing, it seemed like an odd time to introduce a character no one was asking for and giving him a one-episode arc.

Neil Hopkins, best known (to me) as Charlie’s brother on “Lost”, played Brendan, who showed up battered and bruised and asking Sean for help. (I actually DO find it amusing and interesting that Sean, Christian and every character on this show think that plastic surgery can fix whatever is wrong with their lives.) For some reason that either wasn’t explained or that I missed, (totally possible since I cared so little) Brendan had been presumed dead by Sean and his family.

Anyway, Brendan showed up at the worst possible time for Christian, who was drowning in debt and had asked Sean for a loan. Christian asked Sean for the loan after his go-to move (nailing the unrealistically tasty IRS agent) didn’t work.

Look, if the show wanted to play the previously-unseen/dead relative card, there were several ways the writers could’ve made this story interesting. Unfortunately, the writers did none of these things.

We’ve all heard Christian and Sean say, “You’re my brother” to each other, so Christian’s hissy, immature reaction to Brendan’s presence was painfully predictable. Also predictable was Sean acting like a chump throughout the entire hour, first blindly embracing Brendan at Christian’s expense and later easily believing that his brother stole Christian’s watch and cufflinks. Oh yeah – if you didn’t figure out that Christian was framing Brendan, then you’re as big a chump as Sean is. (The show’s attempt to make us think Brendan was back to his old druggy ways by introducing his nose-less buddy was CLEARLY a fake out.)

Of course, what was lost in all this long-lost brother nonsense was what appears to be the major storyline heading into the show’s final batch of episodes – the McNamara/Troy practice is in serious trouble and will almost certainly close by the show’s end.

By the end of the episode, Christian had forged Sean’s signature on a loan he took out. Despite my well-documented opinion that he’s a chump, Sean WILL eventually find out about this. I’ll be interested to see if he finally flips out for real in a major way after recently being betrayed by his wife (Teddy) and his best friend/brother (Christian) over money.

Christian ended up forging that loan application after giving a large sum of money to the patient-of-the-week, Benny Nilsson.

Although I have a vague recollection of Sean’s brother being mentioned years ago, I definitely have a clearer memory of Christian’s past as a victim of sexual abuse from his adoptive father.

From Benny’s first meeting with Christian, in which the Swedish lad requested to look more like his adoptive father, we knew something was up. This being “Nip/Tuck”, it wasn’t a surprise to learn that it was all about sex.

The adoptive father was sexually abusing Benny during parties that looked like the European version of the “Ass-to-Ass” get-together from “Requiem for a Dream.” He wanted the surgery because people would pay more to watch a father-son duo who REALLY looked like they were related.

All together now – EWWWWWW!!!

Christian eventually beat the pulp out of creepy dad and blackmailed him into giving him the money he owed the IRS, which he, instead, handed over to Benny. Despite all the insanity on this show, I continue to be fascinated with Christian. He’s “good” enough to save this kid by blackmailing his adoptive father and beating him up, but then he turns around and betrays his best friend. I admire the refusal to redeem the character and I look forward to seeing what happens Wednesday night’s finale and in the final group of episodes.

So what’d you think of this episode? Other than Hopkins, which other actors are typecast as no-good siblings? Did you miss Matt or Julia in this episode? Finally, what’s one thing you would like to see happen during the finale?