Glee: Glee Bangs

Since I strongly believe Sue Sylvester is an almost completely useless character (and has been for a while, despite Jane Lynch's brilliance) and that Will Schuester is the worst character on a popular TV show I have ever seen (honestly...who is worse?!), let's just say I don't tend to enjoy the episodes of "Glee" that feature Lynch and Matthew Morrison heavily.

But for some reason, I didn't completely hate "The Spanish Teacher."

Well, not all of it at least: I still thought all the stuff with Sue suddenly wanting to become a mother was absolute garbage. Sure, Sue deciding she wanted to have a baby is no more or less ridiculous than marrying herself, but unless she decides to go the surrogate route down the road (and please don't make me talk about her asking Will and the MALE STUDENTS OF NEW DIRECTIONS to father her baby...ick), this storyline was basically another admission by the writers that they have no idea what to do with Sue.

I mean, other than the funny exchange where she claimed she frozen her eggs before the technology was even invented, Sue didn't even get great lines. Instead, most of the elaborately cutting insults Sue usually gets were handed to returning guest star Nene Leakes, back as McKinley High's Olympic bronze medal-winning synchronized swimming coach. (That's the early front runner for "Most Ridiculous Sentence I'll Write in 2012.) Since the baby crap is a non-starter, my best hope that Sue's storyline wasn't a total waste of time is that she rediscovers her competitive fire...with trusty Becky there to help stoke the flame.

Meanwhile, the reason I didn't totally hate Mr. Schuester last night is because the writers gave Matthew Morrison the rare chance to act like an idiot/jerk ON PURPOSE. Usually, Will's maddening passiveness and oblivious dorkiness/creepiness are an unfortunate by-product of terrible writing/questionable acting, but last night we were all (including the characters on the show) supposed to see that Mr. Schuester is an idiot!

With a new tenured teaching spot open at the school, Mr. Schue realized he should brush up on his Spanish skills if he wanted to beat Sue to the punch. Enter night school teacher David Martinez, who also happened to be musically inclined and volunteered to help Will teach Spanish to the glee club. (Um, how about teaching Spanish to your Spanish students, pal?)

Although, Martin was infinitely more convincing as a former teeth model than as a teacher, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed his performance. Although the obvious comparison point is Gwyneth Paltrow's Holly Holliday, I enjoyed the natural, easy nature of Martin's performance, in contrast to Paltrow's more explosive, eager-to-please work, which was also good.

It turns out that, much the way Becky had filed a complaint about Sue, Santana had lodged a similar complaint about Will and his embarrassing short-comings as a Spanish teacher. (I like that the seed was planted early on with her horrified reaction to "La Cucarracha.") I'm not sure why only Santana realized what Will and no other student had ever seen (he's a horrible Spanish teacher, and only took the job because it was the only one available), but it resulted David earning the Spanish teaching gig and, I'm sure, more Ricky Martin down the line.

One of my favorite little running jokes on "Glee" has been Emma's ridiculous pamphlets, so it was kind of awesome seeing them center stage last night. Not only were they hilarious ("So, you're a two-timing ho"/"So, you're dating a two-timing ho"), but they allowed Emma to come to the rescue when she sold a bunch of them, and gave Will a cute way to apologize for being a jerk. (I liked that he called himself out for acting like Terri.)

With an episode so focused on the adult characters, there wasn't a ton of movement on the storylines involving the students. Sure, Mercedes went back to her boyfriend Shane after not communicating with Sam for a week at Emma's request, but anyone who thinks that's over is kidding themselves, so we're just spinning our wheels here. (Unless Chord Overstreet mysteriously disappears again.)

Meanwhile, Rachel spilled the beans about her engagement to Mercedes and a huffy (is there any other kind?) Kurt, who tried his darndest to convince Finn that he had more going for him than being future Broadway star Rachel Berry's arm candy. (Yawn) I'm sorry, but haven't we been playing this out for AT LEAST a season. I already thought the circumstances surrounding the engagement were fairly hideous, but now it's getting tedious.

On that note, let's get to the (bilingual) musical numbers.

"Sexy and I Know It"...B: The number wasn't a great showcase for Martin's (or anyone else's) musical talent, but it was fun enough that it made me mostly ignore how completely inappropriate it is for a "teacher" to sing this to a group of students.

"Don't Wanna Lose You"...A-: This Gloria Estefan song was a relatively low-key performance (especially for the diva-licious Mercedes), but that's exactly what I liked about it. We know Mercedes can blow it out, so it's nice to hear her softer side.

"Bamboleo/Hero"...B+: Much better than any Gipsy Kings/Enrique Iglesias mash-up has any right to be. (Also a sneaky way to incorporate most of the male glee club members into one number.

"La Isla Bonita"...B-: Yes, he's hot and she's hot, but this Santana/David number didn't really stand out from a singing standpoint, and the dancing (while good) wasn't good enough to make up for it.

"A Little Less Conversation"...D: I realize this insulting performance was supposed to suck, but it just wasn't awesomely bad enough to enjoy. It simply sucked. Mission accomplished! (If he had incorporated the Taco Bell chihuahua, I would've given it a D+)

So what'd you think of this episode? Looking forward to seeing David Martinez again? Finally, which of Emma's pamphlets is your favorite?

Glee: An Eye for an Eye

Though "Glee" remains as nonsensical and uneven as it's always been (Quinn got into Yale despite spending the first part of this season as a class-cutting burnout, and spending the second part of this season trying to get her baby back by destroying Idina Menzel's life? What the what?!?!) I've noticed an encouraging trend the last few episodes: a return to covering/re-imagining/butchering pop music.

As the McKinley High glee club geared up for the school production of "West Side Story", I feel the show became way too reliant on lovingly recreating numbers from Broadway musicals (this from a guy who loves "West Side Story" and has a framed poster from the "Chicago" movie hanging in his living room). I know it may be hard to remember now because it feels like the show has been on for seven years, but a big reason "Glee" became a certified phenomenon when it premiered was because of the way it re-interpreted/mangled pop music...and not because it catered to mostly theater geeks. (Sorry, drama queens and kings...it's true.)

Yes, I realize last week's episode opened with a loving recreation of "Summer Nights" from "Grease", but it also featured current hits like "Moves Like Jagger", "Without You" and "We Found Love." So what better way to keep the pop music momentum going than with a tribute episode to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

Now, tribute episodes on "Glee" (like everything else) have so far been a dicey proposition. The "best" ones have been harmless diversions ("The Power of Madonna", "Theatricality"/Lady Gaga), while the worst ones ("Rocky Horror", "Britney/Brittany") make your eyes roll to the back of your head. (Really, writers? The best way you could think to get into musical numbers is to have cast members visit the dentist and hallucinate while under anesthesia?!)

Last night's episode also got off to a shaky start on that front (the Troubletones were bitching about New Directions winning their face off because ND performed MJ...ok, whatever), but mostly incorporated the whopping NINE musical numbers in (relatively) believable ways. (Especially "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'", "Scream" and "Never Can Say Goodbye.") Blaine inadvertently told Sebastian that New Directions planned on doing Michael Jackson songs for Regionals, so Sebastian stole the idea. Unless he KNOWS, the Warblers are performing before New Directions at Regionals (and ND look like a bunch of also-rans), why would he WANT to cover the same artist as another glee club? (Again, whatever.)

I've previously made the point that "Glee" doesn't need Sue Sylvester (and can do with much less of Will Schuester's creepy love life) and last night's episode proved my point: especially when you have a nasty villain like lead Warbler Sebastian around. I imagine a lot of people hate the him (especially after the Mega Slushie he gave Blaine), but I'd rather direct that hate to Sebastian (someone who is SUPPOSED to be an antagonist) than spend time hating angry Santana, increasingly useless Sue or skeevy Schuester.

I should probably add wretched Rachel to that list.

I thought last week was embarrassing for poor Finn (he went from wanting to join the army to learning a painful family secret to proposing to Rachel), but this week was even worse for Rachel. Not only did she rain on Kurt's NYADA finalist parade by whining about not getting her own letter (maybe it was at home, but her gay dads didn't go above and beyond to deliver it to school like Burt did), but she appears to have only accepted Finn's proposal (despite Quinn's sensible advice to the contrary) when it looked like she wouldn't get into her dream school.

While I ponder why this show seems hell bent on making us hate all of its characters, let's break down the musical performances.

"Wanna Be Startin' Somethin"...A-: What does this song title have against "G"s? Anyway, I thought this was a really strong way to, well, start the episode and Darren Criss is at his best when he's in upbeat/ebullient mode. Bonus points for the glee club dressing up in all of MJ's iconic outfits...except for Finn's tragic bedazzled football jersey.

"Bad"...B: Where the hell did they even find a multi-level parking lot in Lima? Anyway, I enjoyed the choreography, the acapella flavor of the arrangement (mostly courtesy of the Warblers) and even the rampant cheesiness, but Blaine diving in front of Kurt at the end like he was a Secret Service agent taking a bullet for the president was a step too far. Sorry.

"Scream"...A: You've probably noticed I make fun of this show a lot, but credit must be given where it's due: "Scream" (an underrated song, in my opinion) was one of the most expensive music videos of its time and this was a great recreation. (On a TV budget, no less!) Solid vocals/great dancing from Kevin McHale and Harry Shum Jr., and impressive effects. Also, androgynous Mike Chang = Janet Jackson...who knew?

"Never Can Say Goodbye"...B+: Let's be honest: the ceiling for any Quinn solo performance (with Dianna Agron's thin, flavorless voice) is a B+. So what I'm saying is that this sweetly ironic number (Quinn coming to terms with herself and waving goodbye to Lima and her various guys) is as good as it gets.

"Human Nature"...A- Can someone explain to me why Chord Overstreet was fired after the end of last season only to be brought back and (apparently) made a full-fledged cast member a few months later? Whatever...he's back and the show is better for it. Anyway, this was a sweet duet that made me truly buy the Sam/Mercedes romance for the first time. (Also, I'm all for anything that keeps Mercedes from bitching about losing solos to Rachel.)

"Ben"...C+: Too sentimental by half. From the way Kurt, Rachel and Finn lovingly serenaded an eye-patched Blaine, you would think the guy was on his deathbed. The + is for heroically resisting the urge to change each "Ben" to "Blaine" in the song.

"Smooth Criminal"...A: Santana and Sebastian may not agree on who won their fantastic, intense face off, but I think we can all agree the real winners were 2Cellos.

"I Just Can't Stop Loving You"...D: Maybe it's because I hate everything about what's happening with Finn and Rachel right now, but I thought this blah number was completely disposable. It's almost like the writers realized, "Crap! We gotta get a Rachel/Finn duet in here somewhere."

"Black and White"...B+: This was a fun way to close out the show, but let's get one thing straight: Kurt DEFINITELY should've let Santana go to the cops with the incriminating tape where Sebastian admits to almost blinding someone instead of just singing him a song about unity. What's the best case scenario anyway? Sebastian joins New Directions to do a happy dance on stage while Blaine undergoes a painful procedure? (At least we got to hear Santana say "underboob" a dozen times.) The + is for the face-morphing at the end. I remember that effect blowing my mind when I first saw it.

So what'd you think of this episode? Can someone remind me why Damian McGinty/Rory Flanagan is on this show? Who the hell carries rock salt on their person? (Wouldn't it have been much easier to mix in pebbles or something else from the parking garage?) Finally, my big takeaway from this episode...it's REALLY easy to get into Yale...just make sure you write a kickass essay!

Glee: The 'Cool' Asian

At this point, I think a lot of us can agree that pretty much every character on “Glee” is incredibly annoying.

As far as I’m concerned, the exceptions are Brittany/Puck (who mostly speak in dim bulb one-liners, so they’re not even on-screen long enough to get annoying), Coach Beiste (with her gigantic plate of pasta) and Santana (who is awesome).

(And *POOF* Santana is back in glee club after being dramatically kicked off by Mr. Schue a grand total of TWO episodes ago. Sure! why not?)

For the most part, I can understand why the characters are annoying. Most of them are high school kids, and teenagers — with their selfishness, fickleness and immaturity — are generally horrible people.

In a shocking turn of events, two of the characters who usually get on my last nerve wound up being among the most likable people onscreen in “Asian F.”

And, no, I’m not talking about Sue (who had an odd, silent cameo last night) and Will Schuester, who solidified his position as the worst character on TV. Don’t believe me? Last night, Will went from harsh (berating Mercedes during booty camp when she clearly wasn’t feeling well) to creepy (“Here’s my big box of porn, Emma!”) to idiotically insecure (inviting Emma’s parents for dinner because he thought she was ashamed of him). At least we were introduced to the hilariously specific world of ginger supremacy.

No, I’m actually talking about Rachel Berry and Mike Chang. That’s kind of an odd pair of characters to hate, isn’t it? Well, while I LOVE Lea Michele, I’m tired of Rachel’s hyper-competitiveness and wish the writers would find something else for the character to do. As for Mike: I suppose the dude is harmless enough, but I don’t like how full of himself he is for a character that’s about as useful to a singing group as a guy with a great three point shot is to a football team.

Either way, Mike’s story stole and salvaged last night’s episode of “Glee”, which fell back on some bad habits. (Although it did fall back on at least one good habit: the wonderfully random idea that Tina is a vampire who terrorizes Principal Figgins.)

After Mike earned an “Asian F” (an A- to the rest of us), Mike’s stern dad met with Principal Figgins and tried to get Mike drug tested before zeroing in on glee club as the source of his son’s “struggles.” (Mr. Chang will definitely be voting for Sue.) Mike wanted to try out for “West Side Story”, but his dad forbade it, leading to the night’s best non-musical scene as a conflicted Mike danced alone in a studio. Eventually, he decided to follow his heart with support from his sympathetic mom, who showed up so randomly that for a second I thought she was really dead and he was talking to a ghost. (That may still be the case!) Harry Shum Jr. is obviously a great dancer, but for the first time last night he got to show that he can be a pretty effective actor.

In other, less-encouraging news we got the latest iteration of “Mercedes is Jealous That Rachel Gets All the Solos Part 4: On Stranger Tides.” After being spurred on by new boyfriend Shane (aka not-Sam), Mercedes went after the role of Maria in “West Side Story” with a newfound ferociousness. Unfortunately, she also managed to alienate all of her friends, including Rachel, who was obviously bothered by the competition but at least tried to be gracious.

It seems like every Mercedes storyline either has to do with her weight/looks or her jealousy of Rachel. This week, they needed the character to be a bitch, so voila! Amber Riley deserves better. (I guess they had to find SOME way to get people to join Shelby’s glee club.) For a while, it seemed like the show was hinting at Mercedes being pregnant (she’s got a steady boyfriend and was moody, nauseous and constantly holding her stomach, which is what woman on TV do right before it’s revealed they’re pregnant). Oh wait…never mind.

In other news, the race for class president took several turns last night with Brittany becoming the apparent front-runner and Rachel throwing her hat into the ring when it looked like she’d be missing out on the “West Side Story” lead. Even though Kurt was outwardly gracious and supportive to Blaine about Blaine playing Tony in “West Side Story”, he got a little huffy when he found out that Rachel would be opposing him for class president. (Because god forbid someone steps on poor widdle Kurt’s toes.)

Anyway, “Asian F” featured a whopping six musical numbers, so let’s jump in.

“Spotlight”…B: Amber Riley looked phenomenal and sounded good, but this number was a bit of a mixed bag. Earlier in the episode, Shane told Mercedes that when they’re watching “Dreamgirls” together, Mercedes says she’s ‘Beyonce’ but he thinks she really considers herself an “Effie” (played by Jennifer Hudson in the movie). So the way to prove that she’s an empowered “Beyonce” is…to sing a Jennifer Hudson song? Or maybe she was owning the fact that she’s “Effie.” Whatever, I’m confused.

“Run the World”…A: If it’s ok with you, I’m not really going to delve into why I’m giving this ass-shaking extravaganza a straight-A just in case my girlfriend ever reads this column.

“Cool”…A: The shocker of the night! Honestly, I didn’t have high expectations after Mike’s “singing” debut last year, but absolutely loved this. Obviously, this was heavier on dancing than singing, but at least the dancing was a funny reimagining (football players learn fast!) of some of the most iconic dancing ever. Also, Mike’s voice was improved and more than suitable for the role of Riff in “West Side Story.”

“Out Here On My Own”…C: Don’t get me wrong: both Lea Michele and Amber Riley sounded terrific (as usual) on this. The reason I’m giving it a bad grade is because of the annoying and hyperactive editing during the latest diva-off between Rachel and Mercedes. I get what they were going for, but cutting back and forth so often between both singers was incredibly distracting and didn’t do either of them any favors.

Because they blended into each other so much, I didn’t fully believe that Mercedes CLEARLY won this competition. As a result, Mercedes turning down the role just made her look like a bitch.

“It’s All Over”…D+: I was laughing my ass off at how terrible this was. (Hence the D-PLUS!) So far this season, “Glee” has been heavy on Broadway numbers and I get that this “Dreamgirls” number was trying to equate glee club’s frustration with Mercdes to the Dreamgirls’ frustration with Effie.

But not only did this re-inforce the idea that Mercedes is, in fact, “Effie” (not Beyonce), but the stilted way they recreated the scene from the movie was unintentionally hilarious. (As was the fact that everyone referred to Mercedes as “Effie”, while she called everyone else by their actual names…probably because it’s hard to substitute Mercedes into a lyric.) At least the costumes were cool.

“Fix You”…C+: F--- you, “Glee” for giving one of my favorite songs to a character I absolutely loathe, and using it as a soundtrack to his miserable, creepy relationship. Oh well…at least Matthew Morrison sounded good, and it was a solid way to end the episode.

So what’d you think of this episode? What should Shelby’s glee club be called? (“Brown/Sugar”? “Newer Directions”?) Finally, does McKinley High even have a dress code? (Judging from Brittany’s musical number, the answer is, “Thank goodness, no.”)

Glee: Baby Blues

Kurt is really f---ing stupid sometimes.

You can’t use a Streisand song to audition for the male lead in a musical and then complain about the fact that the people putting on the show don’t think you’re masculine enough for the part.

“Too gay” was a recurring for Kurt last night.

First, the pink, unicorn-centric campaign for class president conceived by Brittany was “too homo”, according to Kurt. Then, he was deemed to gay for the role of Tony in “West Side Story” by co-directors Artie, Coach Beiste and freakishbonyginger@gmail.com...I mean, Emma. (Is it just me or did it kinda seem like the writers picked three names out of a hat when they were putting together this trio? Oh well…at least Artie is getting something to do.) Coach Beiste, in particular, proved to be a surprisingly adept theatre director (I liked how she debated whether Rachel’s Jew thing or Mercedes’ black thing would work better for “West Side Story), so I’ll give the writers a pass for shoehorning the school’s football coach (and the impressive Dot-Marie Jones) into storylines.

It may not sound like it from the first couple of paragraphs in this review, but I actually enjoyed this episode quite a bit more than last week’s season premiere.

Fortunately for all of us, (as usual) Burt was there to set Kurt straight (so to speak). It’s perfectly ok to be the kind of gay where you sing Diana Ross songs and dress like you own a magic chocolate factory (as opposed to “Rock Hudson-gay”). The takeaway was that if Kurt wants to land leading man roles, maybe he’s going to have to create them himself. (Which is pretty much exactly what Chris Colfer did in real life. Pretty cool.)

Also, if it’s any consolation, Kurt has pretty much been the lead male character on this show since the start of last season.

Even though “I Am Unicorn” was light on musical performances, it was high on storyline advancement. I really enjoyed some of the unexpected groupings in the episode, including Kurt and Brittany, the aforementioned three-headed directing monster, and Sue mostly bothering Quinn instead of only terrorizing Will. (The short film Sue made was pretty genius…I particularly enjoyed the “I Hate Everything” sticker in her locker.)

Hell, even Willliam F. Schuester grew a pair and stood up for himself when Quinn tried to blame all her problems on the glee club! Becky was right…that was kind of sexy. (And much more effective than the stupid glitter bombing incident from last week.)

Speaking of Quinn, she was front and center this week with the return of Shelby Corcoran (Idina Menzel). The reason for Shelby coming back was completely ridiculous (Sugar Motta’s dad hired her to run a rival glee club at McKinley), but I’ll take my Idina Menzel where I can get it.

Shelby wants Puck and Quinn to have a relationship with the baby they gave up for adoption…but not as long as Quinn is part of the Skanks. Puck was the first to step up to the plate, and after a heart-to-heart with Quinn in the Ladies Room (they DO have cleaner stalls) she — and her thin, forgettable alto — finally came around and returned to glee club. Except that in a mini-twist I thoroughly enjoyed, Quinn hasn’t really seen the light and cleaned up her act. Instead, she intends to get full custody of Beth.

I hope you don’t mind if I just bypass all the Booty Camp nonsense — those slo-mo shots of Mike Chang and Mr. Schue dancing were unintentionally hilarious and were a solid reminder of what a couple of tools those guys are — because, honestly…who the hell cares whether a glee club can dance or not. And the big payoff was supposed to be that Finn got through the little mini-routine without messing up? Congratulations, Finn! You can do a passable job in rehearsal, but you still pretty much look like a Frankenstein when you dance.

(And, yes...that chunky paragraph just now was me bypassing the Booty Camp stuff. I can't help but rant. Sorry.)

On the other hand, I DO like how shockingly functional his relationship with Rachel is so far…although some trouble is sure to be ahead as the seniors try to figure out their futures.

Anyway, let’s grade the (relatively meager) musical performances. I hope you like “West Side Story.” (I love “West Side Story”, but I even I think they went overboard.)

“Somewhere There’s a Place for Us”…A: For me, it had everything a great musical performance should have: chill-inducing vocals and a song that actually makes sense within the context of the episode and informs the storyline. So the exact opposite of this pair’s infamous, dreadful “Poker Face” duet. It’s still freaky as hell in the best possible way for me to see Lea Michele and Idina Menzel on screen together (it’s like seeing a person, and then a version of that same person from about 15 years before). Still a little too studio-y sounding considering they were singing on a stage, but great stuff.

“I’m the Greatest Star”…C+: I’ve already covered about what an intentionally terrible song choice this was for Kurt. So the low grade isn’t because it was misguided…it’s because the scaffolding heavy choreography was more impressive than the singing. (You may now refer to my paragraph about Booty Camp if you need a reminder about how much I don’t care whether these kids can dance or not.)

“Something’s Coming”…A-: Blaine’s audition for Tony hit all the sweet spots (great vocal, strong charisma) and he’s clearly a better choice for Tony than Kurt is. (I actually think Finn is the perfect Tony…but I also think Tony is kind of lame.) The only slight criticism I have is that this performance didn’t really bring anything new to the table either in the way it was performed by Darren Criss or the way it was used on the show. (It was just a straight-up audition piece.)

So what’d you think of this episode? Will Blaine actually accept the lead role? Does it REALLY matter if most people in the glee club can’t dance that well? Finally, smoking may kill you, but it really does make you look cool, doesn’t it?

Glee: The Beat Goes On

I swear I was going to stop watching “Glee.” (Apparently, plenty of other people did.)

After a frequently terrible second season and a summer full of turmoil (main members are leaving…no, they’re staying…but Chord Overstreet’s Sam is leaving…we’re developing a Rachel/Kurt spin-off…no we’re not…we’re inflicting a 3D movie on you…that bombed!) I seriously considered just giving up on the show.

As you can tell by the fact that you’re about to read my recap of last night’s season premiere, I caved because I HATE giving up on shows. (Plus, I was home by myself at 8 p.m. and there was nothing else to do.)

So what’s the verdict? The show is pretty much unwatchable if you’re a stickler for continuity and common sense…and yet it did just enough to have me tune in next week. (And not just for the promise of some Idina Menzel.)

The third season picked up at the start of a new school year with the “Glee” club having lost three members following their 12th place finish at Nationals. We’re supposed to buy that students at McKinley High (who we’ve been led to believe barely acknowledge that glee club exists) care enough to be humiliated that they finished outside the top 10 at Nationals. (Make up your mind, Glee!)

Lauren quit the club over the embarrassment at Nationals, Quinn is gone because she’s in the middle of a rebellious phase following her breakup with Finn (and because the writers had to do SOMETHING with her after failing to follow through on the major threats she made in the previous season finale). Meanwhile, Chord Overstreet is gone (and his budding romance with Mercedes squashed) because of the schizophrenic impulses of the people who run “Glee.” Mercedes now has a new boyfriend named Marcus, who is the exact physical opposite of Chord Overstreet.

As a result, Mr. Schuester introduced the Purple Piano Project. To recruit new singers, Will randomly placed pianos across campus (a lot easier than it sounds, apparently) and glee club members were supposed to burst into song whenever they saw one.

One of the few people who responded was Sugar Motta, whose father donated the pianos. Yes, her terrible audition was funny, but I was more intrigued by the idea that goody-goody Will may have to make some cruel cuts if he wants to win Nationals. (And with Rachel, Kurt and Finn moving on after this year, if there any way they don’t win Nationals?) By the way, is Sugar really that much of a worse singer than Lauren or dancing machine Mike Chang?

I was also intrigued by the idea of Sugar (Vanessa Lengies) as a potential antagonist for the glee club since, as I’ve mentioned many times before, I’m completely over the character of Sue Sylvester.

Even lines and bits that are objectively funny (like her tearing up a piano and claiming that “Chopsticks” was Tina and Mike’s national anthem) barely register anymore because we’ve seen her be so redundantly cruel to the glee club for so long.

I’m also sick of seeing her go head-to-head with Will. I mean, do we really need another scene with Will bursting into Principal Figgins’ office and bitching about something Sue just did? I also thought Will’s glitter bombing of Sue was just weird and pointless.

The only thing I like less than seeing Will and Sue go head to head is delving into Mr. Schue’s sex life. Apparently, Will and Emma are having the same issues she had with Dr. Carl. All I know is that I’ll hear Mr. Schue asking Emma “Guess who woke up just before I did?” in my nightmares.

But enough about the horrible adults. I like the show established that it’s the final year in high school for Rachel, Finn, Kurt and Mike (but who cares about Mike), and I particularly liked the notion that Rachel and Kurt got knocked down a peg or two. (They were already planning their Tony acceptance speeches.)

Meanwhile, it seems like Quinn’s phase will be more of a short-term issue (Shelby comes back with the baby Quinn gave up for adoption) while I’m not quite sure what to make of what’s happening with Santana yet. Last night she got booted out of the glee club for destroying one of the purple pianos, but I was pretty sure that Quinn’s cigarette actually ignited the fire. Then again, Sanatana didn’t deny it. Anyway, we can all pretty much guess she’s going to be back in the club eventually, so I guess it just depends on how long the show wants to drag this out. (Hopefully, very soon since Naya Rivera was one of the show’s few bright spots last year.)

Meanwhile, Artie and Puck didn’t get a damn thing to do and Britney is working on a time machine. Seems as good a time as any to get to the musical performances.

“We Got the Beat”…B+: Like one of Quinn’s fellow Skanks, I prefer “The Bangles.” The musical number itself was fine, with the ambitious choreography outshining the music. The contrast from the rest of the student’s indifference bumped it up half a letter grade for me.

“Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead”…C: Maybe it was SUPPOSED to be totally underwhelming given what was about to happen to Rachel and Kurt later on in the episode.

“It’s Not Unusual”…A-: Blaine’s arrival at McKinley (it’s easier than I thought to switch schools once class has started) was pure unadulterated, well, glee. (Even if the song choice was a little out of left field.) Double word score for throwing in the Carlton dance.

“Anything Goes”…A: Lindsay Pearce of “The Glee Project” headed and absolutely killed this number, which was so good Erica and I wondered if these people were part of a real Broadway cast. On top of the great musical performance, the frozen/polite smiles on Rachel and Kurt’s faces (followed immediately by the cut to them crying in their car while it rained) were fantastic.

“You Can’t Stop the Beat”…B: Bookended the episode’s first performance nicely, but other than that a pretty standard end-of-the-episode performance. Mostly noteworthy for the longing look on Quinn’s face as she watched her former club-mates.

So what’d you think of this episode? Are Emma’s brochures the funniest ongoing sneaky gag on this show? (The proposed Rachel/Kurt spinoff should be called “Me and My Hag.”) Will Sue be able to stay ahead of “Anyone White” in the Congressional race? Is toast as redundant as Becky suggested? Finally, Sugar Motta…Sunshine Corazon…Coach Beiste? We need to have an intervention for whoever is in charge of naming new characters because they’re clearly addicted to crack.

Glee: New York State of Mind

Coming off two consecutive strong episodes, I had high hopes for the epic season 2 finale of “Glee.”

I should’ve known better. Most of the finale was, for lack of a better word, stupid.

I PROMISE you that I wanted the New York-set finale of “Glee” to be good. In fact, my biggest complaint is that it really should’ve been a two-part episode: one hour mostly devoted to New Directions exploring the city and the second hour mostly devoted to Nationals

Instead, the episode was mostly devoted to glee club members frolicking around New York City (or complaining about being stuck in their hotel rooms), while Nationals — you know, that little competition they’ve been working toward ALL FREAKIN’ YEAR — was crammed into a 15-minute segment. (The girl group who sang Usher’s “Yeah” made me curious about what some of the other show choirs had to offer.) I mean, did we really need TWO different musical numbers in which characters realized their dream of singing on a Broadway stage?

That being said, at least the frolicking looked fantastic. One of the things I did like about this episode was that the show took full advantage of its New York City locations. Central Park, breakfast at Tiffany’s and Sardi’s restaurant looked as fantastically perfect as they should’ve looked to a bunch of kids visiting NYC for the first time. Sardi’s even provided a cameo by Broadway legend Patti LuPone, though the best part was LuPone telling Rachel “He’s cute” before she walked away from Rachel’s date with Finn. (Though I hated that Rachel pulled away when Finn tried to kiss her at the end of their date: she’s been trying to steal her away from Quinn for half the season and when she finally succeeds, she runs away…get the f--- out of here!)

Unfortunately, too much of this episode was either rushed or downright insulting to our intelligence.

For example, are we really supposed to believe that New Directions arrived in New York having absolutely no idea what they were going to be singing? They didn’t work on writing their original material AT ALL before Mr. Schuester stuffed them in their hotel rooms? Puh-leeze!

I realize they this is more of a personal preference, but the original songs didn’t really click with me. I know we’re supposed to think that New Directions didn’t place in the top 10 because of Finn and Rachel’s kiss, but it ended up seeming like they didn’t place because they weren’t good enough. (At least to me.)

There were also dropped plot points galore. Maybe it’s just me, but I think Mr. Schue gave up on his Broadway dreams WAY too easily. Maybe I’m being too practical here, but why couldn’t he lead New Directions to a win at Nationals, and THEN make his Broadway debut and inspire his students to achieve their dreams. Instead, we got more crying about how much he loves his kids. At least Vocal Adrenaline coach Dustin Goolsby — who got all of Sue Sylvester’s dialogue this week, including “I hate my kids. I would literally whip them if I could” — was there to mock him. (And at least his villainous character makes sense within the story.)

Also, is it just my imagination, or didn’t Quinn announce at the end of last week’s episode that she had some evil plan to sabotage Finn and Rachel or New Directions? Unless Quinn’s master stroke was to rat on Finn and Rachel for leaving their hotel rooms, I honestly think that the writers completely forgot about this plot point. (Has there ever been a sloppier super-successful show than “Glee”?!)

My thoughts on how Nationals panned out (besides “not enough Jesse St. James!” are mostly contained in my reviews of the musical performances. Before we get to that, I have to talk about the little epilogue at the end of the episode, which found a way to include Darren Criss’s Blaine.

It was a surprisingly hopeful and optimistic end to the season, which finished with a shot of Mr. Schue hoisting their tiny 12th place trophy. Kurt is still with Blaine, Rachel is now with Finn (until they break up again), Brittany and Santana are friends, and Sam and Mercedes are a couple. Wait, what?! Sure why not? Gotta get in as many couplings as we can, and these two were pretty much the only free agents out there. But why in the hell would they keep it a secret. Oof! My head hurts

Let’s just grade the music already.

“My Cup”...C-: This was so obviously an over-produced, pre-recorded track (I mean more than what we usually get on this show) that I couldn’t focus on the comedy it was supposed to provide. Come on, “Glee”! At least TRY to make it sound like these kids are singing live!

“I Love New York/New York, New York”…C+: The combination of the kids rejoicing being in New York with this thumping, soulless pop song didn’t work for me. Call me crazy, but I think this scene needed cheesier, peppier music.

“Still Got Tonight”…D: No one wanted to hear Matthew Morrison sing songs from his crappy album live. So I DEFINITELY didn’t want him to force songs from his crappy album on us through this show. He sounded good, but I was rolling my eyes the entire time. In fact, my eyes almost rolled to the back of my head when that guy told Mr. Schue what a massive talent he was.

“Bella Notte”…A-: It was brief, but the guys (Puck, Artie, Sam and Mike Chang) singing in the background (well, except for useless Mike, of course) and providing a soundtrack for the two lovers reminded me of a Disney movie. And that’s always a great thing.

“For Good”…A: Now THIS is the “Characters Realizing Their Dream of Singing on a Broadway Stage” number I would keep. (Sorry, Mr. Schue. Oh wait…no I’m not!) Rachel and Kurt two are great together, especially when they’re being theatrical, and they were COMPLETELY in their element on stage at the Gershwin Theatre, where “Wicked” makes its home.

“As Long As You’re There”…A: I probably wasn’t supposed to think that Sunshine Corazon and Vocal Adrenaline knocked this number out of the park and deserved a spot in the top 10 over New Directions…but I did.

“Pretending”…B+: As far as Finn and Rachel ballads go, this was good, but not quite great…except for that breathtaking kiss. The shot that made the auditorium seem completely empty as they were kissing was terrific. The song? Not so much.

“Light Up the World”…B: Honestly, what’s the difference between this and “Loser Like Me,” the last peppy, original group song that New Directions performed in competition? Well, besides the fact that this one has an infinitely lamer title.

So what’d you think of this episode? Why won’t this show let Cheyenne Jackson sing? (So far, all he gets to do is wear a Bluetooth and act like an ass.) Are all the security guards in New York as friendly as the guy who allowed Rachel and Kurt on stage? Finally, did you know that New York City was built on top of Old York City? (I’m pretty sure that’s not true.)

Thanks for riding on the rollercoaster ride that was season 2 of “Glee.” (It was the kind of rollercoaster that has more lows than highs.)

Glee: Taking the 'Fun' out of Funeral

When I heard last night’s episode of “Glee” was called “Funeral”, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to kill off Sue Sylvester.

Obviously that was never going to happen because Emmy winner Jane Lynch’s creation is the show’s breakout character. However, if you read this column on a regular basis, I must sound like a broken record every time I complain about how repetitive, obnoxious, unnecessary Sue has become.

“Funeral” was one of the two or three episodes per season when “Glee” shows us Sue’s softer side. As contrived and unrealistic as it can feel — this is someone who was threatening to torture someone with dental equipment just last week — I was mostly relieved to see Sue act like a like something resembling a real person for the first time in a LONG time.

That helped make “Funeral” the second consecutive strong episode of “Glee”, a streak that seemed unthinkable in recent months!

Sure, killing off Sue’s Down Syndrome-afflicted sister Jean — who was unfortunately more of a plot contrivance to humanize Sue than a real person — didn’t exactly raise the stakes as we head toward the season 2 finale, but it sure beefed up Jane Lynch’s Emmy reel. I really loved the way the actress modified her performance so that even her digs at Will or Herman and Eddie Munster (Finn and Kurt) had an undercurrent of sadness. (Even when she told Will that if she leaned on him, as Will had offered, she’d slide right off because of the grease in his hair, her heart wasn’t really in it.)

And the Willy Wonka-themed funeral (organized by Kurt and Finn after learning it was Jean’s favorite movie) wrecked me. I’m not afraid to admit it. It was so beautiful that it melted Sue’s heart: she decided to end her vendetta against the glee club and announced that she was running for office. As you probably guessed, I’m actually hoping Sue follows through on this promise because it would mean less Sue and her Schemes of the Week. (Plus, glimpses of Sue in the political arena would be good for some laughs.)

The main problem is that I believe Sue’s character has been taken too far out of the realm of believability to ever bring her back. (And I’m pretty sure Jane Lynch isn’t going anywhere.) Put it this way: if Sue went back to hating the glee club by the end of next week’s season finale, would you really be surprised? (I wouldn’t…not even a little bit.)

The other part of this strong episode had New Directions making their final preparations for Nationals. Will was packing up his sweater vests in preparation for his Broadway debut (I honestly couldn’t care less about Will or about this storyline since we know he’ll be back). More importantly, Jesse St. James joined New Directions as a consultant.

After bashing Finn some more — saying he sings and dances like a zombie who has to poop is cruel, but not COMPLETELY inaccurate — Jesse convinced the glee club that the way to win was to build their group around a star. (And to keep doing, “Weekend at Bernie’s”-style, even if someone died on stage.)

That set the stage for auditions to be New Directions’ featured vocalists. Once again, I like that this setup (from series creator/episode writer Ryan Murphy) allowed the musical numbers to unfold in a more organic way. (Same deal for the club’s song during the funeral.)

I’m pretty sure that we were supposed to hate Jesse for his criticisms of Santana, Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel…but I actually think he had valid points. That reality TV judging class really paid off, and Mr. Schue is more of a Paula (or Steven Tyler) anyway. Bringing a critical eye to the proceedings wasn’t the worst thing in a world where Mr. Schue thinks everything is wonderful.

Sure, some of the punch from Jesse’s stinging critiques was taken away when he all but admitted that he’d come back to make amends for egging Rachel by handing her a shot to be a star at Nationals. Still, it was an enjoyable turn of events.

Less enjoyable was Finn breaking up with Quinn, especially after Quinn’s initial refusal to acknowledge the fact that Finn was dumping her. Quinn even said she was willing to wait out Finn’s infatuation with Rachel. Earlier this season, Quinn told Rachel that she accepted the fact that Rachel was destined for superstardom, while Quinn was destined to peak in high school and settle for a life with Finn in Lima. Now, she doesn’t even get Finn. Ouch. Whatever she has a cooked up for next week’s episode won’t be pretty.

Let’s break down the musical performances:

“Back to Black”…A-: Rachel wasn’t the only one who admire Santana’s husky tone (thanks, cigars!) in this strong performance of “Back to Black.” Still, Jesse had a good point: Santana obviously has her guard up in a major way as a person, so why wouldn’t that extend to her performance on stage? It’s not that Santana can’t open up — we saw her do so in the Fleetwood Mac episode — it’s that she usually doesn’t want to.

“Some People”…B: Jesse was absolutely right on the nose again: personally, I think Chris Colfer/Kurt is remarkable, but it CAN be off-putting to watch a guy perform songs that are meant for women. This wasn’t even his best “Gypsy” performance. (“Rose’s Turn” was better.)

“Try a Little Tenderness”…A: From a storyline perspective, Jesse’s critique about Mercedes being lazy made sense since she claimed she didn’t even need to warm up right before she took the stage. But, DAMN! If she can sound this kickass without warming up (or doing anything else), who freaking cares?!

“My Man”…B+: Maybe I’m spoiled, but — while this was very good — I really don’t think it joined the pantheon of great Rachel Berry ballads. This wasn’t even his best Barbra Streisand performance. (Both “Don’t Rain on My Parade” and “Papa Can You Hear Me” were better.)

“Pure Imagination”…A: The fact that I have a soft spot for this song helps, but I thought Finn and, especially, Kurt’s high, almost-angelic tones worked perfectly for this number.

So what’d you think of this episode? Don’t you kind of wish UCLA DID offer a class on reality show judging? (How fast can we sign Randy Jackson up for that class?!) How can one man own so many sweater vests? Do you think we’ve seen the last of Miami-bound Terri? Finally, is there a more perfect nickname than the one Sue gave Howard Bamboo? (Sue: “You’re Panda Express.” Howard: “I’m not Chinese.” Sue: “Neither is the food at Panda Express.”)

Glee: Prom Wonderful

Last night’s prom-themed episode of “Glee” gave me hope that the show just might close out its wildly inconsistent second season on a high (Auto-Tuned) note.

Sure, there will always be things about this show that make absolutely no sense. Like the fact that glee club members are supposed to be social outcasts, but 5 out of 6 of them (Finn/Quinn, Puck/Lauren, Santana) were apparently frontrunners for prom king and queen.

And, as always, anything Sue says or does falls under this category. This week we learned that she’s her own dentist and that her grandmother drowned in her punch bowl (eye roll), although I did enjoy her Charles Barkley-like “John McCain is rolling over in his grave” line.

Fortunately, there was tons of other great stuff that made up for that bit of sloppiness.

I really liked the opening scene that set up the final leg of the “Election”-like race for prom king and queen. I also liked the implication that Puck was whipped and that his bad boy reputation has taken a serious hit since he started dating Lauren. I would’ve liked it even more if the episode hadn’t seemingly abandoned this plot after Artie got busted trying to “spike” Sue’s punch (at Puck’s request), but maybe hopefully they’ll pick up on that next week.

Still, my absolute favorite thing about this funny and engaging episode that found a way to serve most of its main characters was that (gasp!) the musical numbers actually made sense within the contest of the episode. Obviously, anytime people are breaking into song and dance on a movie or TV show, you have to suspend disbelief, but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about. I’m talking about forced sequences like the “spontaneous” mall performances or gas-induced hallucinations the show has thrown at us this season.

Principal Figgins asked the glee club to perform at prom, so most of the songs in last night’s episode felt a little more organic. The over-the-top enthusiasm we usually see from the cast when they’re performing didn’t feel off-putting. It felt right. Good times all around.

Well, unless you’re Kurt.

After asking Blaine (who’d had his own traumatizing school dance experience) to prom, Kurt excitedly began preparing for the big event. That included modeling his “gay Braveheart” outfit (Finn’s words). My favorite thing about this scene is that Burt sort of called Kurt out for something I’ve been thinking about recently. Now, I would never, EVER advocate bullying of any kind. On the other hand, some of the outfits Kurt wears are just begging people to say…something. (This is a guy who wore a top hat two weeks ago when he returned to McKinley.)

Obviously, no one has the right to restrict what another person should wear or keep them from expressing themselves. By that same token, you can’t really stop me from making fun or maybe judging someone who is wearing a ridiculous costume.

Anyway, even though I knew Kurt and Karofsky would win prom king and queen (I couldn’t help reading the story about the extra who blabbed on Twitter) it still didn’t really make that much sense to me. Even though we finally got see a kinder, more appealing side of Karofsky this episode, is there any explanation for him actually beating out the seemingly more popular Finn? Do people really love themselves Karofsky that much?! (I know the Bully Whips berets are awesome, but still.) As for Kurt, I guess all the unseen students at McKinley High REALLY had it out for him — even though he just came back a few weeks ago — and really wanted to humiliate him.

Even though this result didn’t make sense to me, I don’t think it marred the episode’s lively prom.

For one thing, Jesse St. James was back in the house after flunking out of college. (It turns out you have to attend classes that have nothing to do with show choir.) Although he somewhat had his tail between his legs after humiliating Rachel, I was glad to see that he was still (mostly) the same cocky mega-talented idiot we met last year. And it seems like he’s going to be sticking around to help New Directions get ready for Nationals.

Of course, we also know that he’s going to be sticking around so he can fill a place in the love quadrangle along with Rachel, Finn and Quinn. The two almost came to blows at the prom when Finn though he was dancing a little close with Rachel. This was after Rachel claimed that she’d always respected Finn’s relationship with Quinn (yeah right!) and was followed by Quinn slapping Rachel in the ladies room.

The episode also featured a heartbroken Artie (it was big of you to apologize, but you blew it bro!) and a bolo-tie wearing Sam, who attended the prom as Mercedes’ sorta-date. But let’s see how all these people did in their musical performances:

“Rolling in the Deep”…B+: It’s hard to make a better entrance than Jonathan Groff made in this episode. Given the eggy way Jesse St. James left his relationship with Rachel, the song also made sense from a storytelling standpoint. (Imagine that!) Also, those people in the A/V club are pretty strong singers…why aren’t THEY in glee club. They’d contribute more than Mike Chang. The only thing I didn’t love was that —even though this was an acapella arrangement — this obviously sounded like a recording. (I know they’re ALL recordings, but they don’t have to sound that way.)

“Isn’t She Lovely”…A: I loved the acapella opening (Kevin McHale’s voice got a nice chance to shine) and I thoroughly enjoyed the relatively stripped down arrangement. (Even if the song is about a baby.) I dug the simplicity, and it was kind of cool that Brittany didn’t just instantly forgive Artie.

“Friday”…B+: A match made in Auto-Tune heaven! Not exactly sure how singing this song (along with Sam and Artie) was supposed to restore Puck’s reputation as a badass. Anyway, Santana checking out a girl as she was awkwardly dancing with Karofsky was brilliant!

“Jar of Hearts”…B: Lea Michele sounded great (as usual), but I’m almost as over Rachel pining for Finn as I am over anything having to do with Sue. Either go after him or don’t…stop this passive aggressive garbage!

“I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You”…C+: Unfortunately, this performance didn’t make much of an impact because it was basically background music to the fight between Finn and Jesse.

“Dancing Queen”…A: The song fit perfectly what was going on after Karofsky refused to dance with Kurt. (By the way, who the hell is Kurt to tell someone else when they should come out?! I REALLY hate Kurt sometimes.) More importantly, since I think “River Deep, Mountain High” was one of the best performances this show has ever given us, I thoroughly enjoyed hearing Mercedes and Santana singing together.

So what’d you think of this episode? Did Figgins almost overpay Air Supply by offering them $400? How great was it that Rachel could appreciate the drama of being slapped in the face? Finally, exactly how many people’s dates do you think Brittany ended up stealing?

Glee: Big Mac Attack

The dire state of the U.S. economy has affected almost every aspect of our lives. So why shouldn’t it also affect everyone’s favorite frequently-terrible/occasionally-great musical comedy television sensation.

Yes, the recession finally hit “Glee” last night. Well, sort of.

As usual, “Glee” was so all-over-the-place last night that the revelation of Sam’s economic struggles was only a small part of “Rumours”, a quasi-tribute to Fleetwood Mac’s famous album.

Actually, the “Rumours” angle was refreshingly less forced than past tribute episodes (anesthesia-induced Britney Spears songs, anybody) or whatever the week’s “theme” is. (Does Mr. Schue use the black board in the music room for anything other than writing the week’s one-word assignment on it?)

The legendary in-fighting of Fleetwood Mac actually dove tailed very nicely with all the current conflict in New Directions. I was especially happy to see the show address the interesting conundrum Finn faces with Quinn: how do you trust a cheater? Sure, Quinn cheated with Finn while she was still with Sam, but that makes her a cheater nonetheless. (And so does hooking up with Puck last season.) In fact, the show cleverly nodded at all the different pairings we’ve seen in the glee club. (“Artittany”, “Tina Cohen-Chang/Chang”)

I was considerably less happy about the way the rumor mill got churning.

I realize that I’m beginning to sound like a broken record at this point, but isn’t it now 100% clear to everyone that Sue Sylvester is a completely useless character? (Again, this criticism is separate from Jane Lynch’s awesome abilities.) During the most pointless Sue scene yet — disguising herself as David Bowie and Ann Coulter is funny, how? — she announced that she was taking over the Muckraker, the school’s newspaper. She used the usual minor characters/minions (Azimio, Jacob Ben-Israel, Becky) plus Brittany to help spread rumors about the club that dealt with Quinn’s infidelity, Santana’s sexuality and Mr. Schuester’s Broadway aspirations.

You’re not gonna believe this, but Sue’s plan worked for a while before the kids in New Directions mostly made up in time for a group number at the end. A few weeks ago, I thought Sue’s character might have some life left in her when she formed the League of Doom, but apparently only honey badger (Terri) was available this week. This week was a gigantic step backward for Sue and I personally find pretty much everything the character does pointless and unbearable.

Speaking of unbearable, are the writers EVER going to let Rachel get over Finn? I get that they still have great chemistry and that Finn was her first love (other than herself, obviously), but watching her continue to pine for him — especially since he keeps shooting her down — is just pathetic at this point. Right now, Rachel has two gears: she’s either following Finn around like a puppy dog or she’s ego-manically trying to put herself in the spotlight while putting down everyone else’s singing abilities. Someone please remind me why we used to root for this girl.

Elsewhere, in the glee club, it turns out that Brittany has an online talk show (sure, why not?) called “Fondue for Two.” Naturally, the first episode featured three people (not counting the great Lord Tubbington…Tina and Mercedes were her official guests) and the outing of Santana. One of the few highlights on the show this season has been the work of Heather Morris and Naya Rivera. Morris was particularly strong last night in the scene where she broke up with Artie after he called her “stupid.” But even though I love both of their performances, the Brittany/Santana relationship confuses me. For example, I really thought Brittany cared deeply for Artie. So why is she agreeing to take Santana to prom so quickly after breaking up with him. (I know he insulted her, but damn!)

The fact that their great work occasionally elevates inconsistent material that rarely makes sense is the main reason I’m still watching this show. Well, that and kick-ass guest stars like Kristin Chenoweth.

April Rhodes was back and needing Will’s help on a Broadway musical about her life. (Shockingly, her all-white version of “The Wiz” never caught on.) It’s ALWAYS good to see Kristin Chenoweth, but since we all know Mr. Schue isn’t going anywhere, her presence (and her attempt to lure him away) was mostly a non-factor.

Apparently, Mr. Schue was so broken up about potentially abandoning his glee club for Broadway stardom that he cried because the kids “saved his life.” It’s probably because I’m not anywhere near the biggest Will Schuester fan in the world, but I was kind of rolling my eyes during this scene. Mostly, I feel bad for Matthew Morrison. I think he’s at his best when he’s in musical theatre/comedy (non-rapping) mode, but instead he has to try to sell us a bunch of earnest teacher nonsense.

Let’s just say I was more moved by Sam’s plight. Finn and Rachel had become convinced that he was having an affair with Kurt and/or Quinn after spying them outside Sam’s motel room. (Let’s please not overlook how ridiculous that previous sentence was.) It turns out that Sam’s family had lost their job (and their home) due to the recession and that Quinn was helping out by babysitting his younger siblings, while Kurt was lending him clothes. Mostly, I was grateful for a Sam plot that had nothing to do with his lips. (Although the episode couldn’t resist a chap-stick joke near the top of the hour.)

For a “Glee” episode that actually integrated its plot with its music in a smoother way than usual, this episode wound up being a letdown. Speaking of the music, let’s quickly grade the performances.

“Dreams”…B+: Chenoweth and Morrison really do sound great when they sing together. (See: their cover of “Alone” from season 1.) I’m not really sure I buy the kids grooving along to the performance THAT much, but I’ll let it slide.

“Never Going Back Again”…A-: Really good showcase for Kevin McHale’s voice as Artie, but I also liked the guitar playing in the background. (Yes, Puck can have an impact on an episode even when he hardly says anything.)

“Songbird”…A: Another solo for an unsung cast member. Naya Rivera nailed this one. Santana expressing her feelings much more effective this time since Gwyneth Paltrow wasn’t randomly there. (Like on “Landslide.”)

“I Don’t Want to Know”…B-: Rachel’s right: Finn singing with Quinn just isn’t anywhere near as special as when he sings with Rachel. The most noteworthy thing about this performance wasn’t the vocals — it was the acting from Cory Monteith and Dianna Agron, who were amusingly pissed at each other throughout the song.

Song from “CrossRhodes: The April Rhodes Story”…B+: Why isn’t Matthew Morrison allowed to do more fun numbers like this? Nah, let’s keep making Mr. Schue act like a dork or a tool It was an abbreviated glimpse into April’s musical, but it was also pretty damn funny.

“Go Your Own Way”…A: I thought this was a pretty outstanding reminder of what a musical force of nature Lea Michele really is. Now if only Rachel actually meant this song. (And if she stopped flirting with Finn through music) Too bad she’ll be pining for Finn next week. (And the week after that, etc.) Then again, Jesse St. James popped up in the previews for the following episode, so maybe she’ll take a break from pining next week.

“Don’t Stop”…B: I liked the fact that the solos were spread out pretty generously among the cast, but other than that I just didn’t think there was anything special about it.

So what’d you think of this episode? Will Santana join the golf team? Finally, would you honestly have a problem with the show if they killed Sue off?

Glee: The Evil League of Evil

I thought the music-packed “Original Song” — the last new episode of “Glee” before Tuesday night — was one of the show’s strongest outings this season.

So, of course, Fox promptly put the show on a month-long mini hiatus and squashed whatever momentum the show might’ve been gathering.

That’s why it was no surprise that last night’s “A Night of Neglect” was a disappointment. The episode managed to simultaneously feel overstuffed — Gwyneth Paltrow! The return of Sunshine Corazon! The League of Doom/Legion of Evil! — and feel like filler before the really interesting stuff starts happening as season 2 wraps up.

Even the weekly theme — which is already a shaky device to tie each episode’s storylines together — was a head-scratcher. This week, Mr. Schue assigned to glee club members to perform a song by a “neglected” artist…whatever the f--- that means!

New Directions needed to raise money for their trip to New York City for Nationals, so Mr. Schue’s brilliant idea was to sell salt water taffy because that’s what he did when he was in school. (I continue to be astounded by what an idiot Mr. Schue can often be. Also, does he actually know that "5000 x 0.25 = 20,000" is completely wrong or was that a joke?) It was during this brainstorming session that the existence of an even more neglected club was revealed.

The Brainiacs consisted of Tina, Mike, Artie and emergency fill-in/cat-disease expert Brittany. And, yes…I would’ve assumed that they were in the club because two of them were Asian and the other guy wore glasses. Glee club decided to host a fundraising concert in the auditorium called “A Night of Neglect” to raise money for themselves and for the Brainiacs.

(Re-)Enter Sunshine Corazon, who came in peace (even though Rachel had sent her to a crack house) and bearing the gift of Twitter followers to attend the concert. I realize she’s only been in two episodes, but I still can’t get a read on Sunshine. She’s obviously mega-talented, and she has also spent the last few months under the direction of Vocal Adrenaline’s douche-y Dustin Goolsby. That makes me think her good-girl personality is at least partly a put-on. I’m not saying she’s a spy (that would be Jesse St. James redux), but I think there’s more to her, and I’m actually interested in finding out what it is. (Even if Charice’s acting was borderline atrocious last night.)

Unfortunately, Dustin pulled Sunshine out of “A Night of Neglect”, resulting in a truly pathetic turnout.

It was all part of Sue’s plan (OF COURSE it was), since Dustin (aka Sgt. Handsome) had been recruited to join her League of Doom along with Terri Schuester (aka Honey Badger) and Sandy Ryerson (aka the Pink Dagger). Their mission: to destroy the glee club.

I’ve you’ve read any of my recaps before, you know that I’m COMPLETELY done with Sue’s antics to destroy the glee club. That being said, I was happy to glad to see Sue take more of a backseat to some new, villainous blood. Ok, so maybe I’m not thrilled to see Terri back, and Cheyenne Jackson’s character (who we’d only seen in a brief cameo) predictably turned out to be a cocky douche, but at least Predatory Gay Sandy Ryerson turned out to be hilarious. Also, I kind of wish my school had a Hecklers Club. (Although football player Azimio already seemed like a seasoned heckler.)

Meanwhile, the glee club storyline was dominated by — stop me if you’ve heard this before — Rachel acting like a self-involved twit, and Mercedes feeling underappreciated. (At least it wasn’t another storyline focused around her weight.) Sure, Mercedes had Lauren as backup this time (instead of Kurt), but it feels like we’ve seen Mercedes and Rachel clash before making up by the end of the episode more than enough times. Also, does Rachel do anything else on this show besides talk about how great she is and complain about not getting every major solo? (That said, I thought it was fitting that there was no Rachel performance in “A Night of Neglect.”)

I liked the scene towards the end with Rachel telling Mercedes to go out and grab superstardom instead of pouting about not getting respect, but it would’ve been more effective if I didn’t believe that we’re going to see this conflict in a few weeks.

I haven’t even mentioned Gwyneth Paltrow, who appeared in what was likely her swan song this season. Like her previous appearances, I thought she delivered a game and funny performance. Unlike her last two appearances, her character didn’t hijack the episode, which was good. Indeed, Holly was only around long enough to formally break up with Will after she saw them together in the kitchen. Will was comforting Emma after learning that her marriage to Dr. Carl had been annulled. To be honest, I’ve never been super-invested in the Will and Emma romance, but I thought their grape scene together last night was among the pair’s best.

Holly also got to set the members of the Hecklers Club straight with a mini-speech that somehow veered off into an indictment of anonymous critics/message board posters on the Internet. Maybe it’s just me, but that felt like an indulgent touch from a “Glee” writer who was tired about reading how much worse the show is in season 2. Which it is.

Let’s get on to the musical performances, shall we?

“All By Myself”…A-: Sure the song is a little cheesy, but it actually kind of fit in with the night’s terrible theme. Mostly though, Charice killed it. How can you not be impressed by such a big voice coming out of an incredibly tiny package?

“Follow Rivers”…C-: I’m not giving it a bad grade because Jenna Ushkowitz sounded bad singing this Lykke Li song. (She actually sounded great) I’m giving this a bad grade because the show once again hijacked one of poor Tina’s performance. Let this girl have a moment.

“Bubble Toes”…B: Yes, Harry Shum Jr. is a sensational dancer, but seriously…what does that have to do with anything here?

“Turning Tables”…B: Obviously, Gwyneth can’t touch Adele (but who can?), but I actually thought this was the strongest and most assured that her voice has ever sounded.

“Ain’t No Way"…A: I absolutely loved how (relatively) restrained it was, especially for a Mercedes performance. I actually thought Amber Riley looked and sounded as good as she ever has on this show. I’m just not sure where the gospel choir came from.

So what’d you think of this episode? Don’t any of the glee club members have parents that could have attended “A Night of Neglect”? How do you think the show will continue to work Kurt and Blaine into storylines now that the Warblers are out of the running for Nationals? (I’m guessing nasty, closeted bully Karofsky will factor in heavily.) Finally, how DOES Sandy manage to walk into a building without setting off all the fire alarms?

Glee: Original Recipe

Oh “Glee”, just when I think I’m out…you pull me back in!

If you read this column regularly, you know that I feel too much of the show’s second season has been bogged down by its crusades against gay teen bullying, alcoholism, etc., as well as “Glee” creator Ryan Murphy apparently deciding to believe every last bit of his own hype.

In short, the bad has been far outweighing the good lately, and it’s made me consider giving up on the show. (This from the guy who watched every last episode of “Heroes” and “Nip/Tuck” the LAST Ryan Murphy creation that got off to a sensational start before flaming out spectacularly.)

But even in bad episodes, the show displays little glimmers that keep me around. Every once in a while, “Glee” will even deliver a full episode that lives up to its early season 1 promise…like last night’s “Original Song.”

Now, don’t get me wrong: this episode wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination.

For example, I’m pretty much done with Sue. No matter how hard Jane Lynch works, I just don’t find Sue’s antics to sabotage the glee club amusing anymore. I mean, maybe last year I would’ve laughed at her forging a letter from My Chemical Romance to keep New Directions from performing “Sing” (it turns out she’d actually slept with the drummer from Jimmy Eat World not MCR), but last night I just rolled my eyes. (Ok, fine, I laughed at her throwing sticks at Mercedes.)

Sue’s just annoyingly exhausting at this point. Fortunately, the previews for the new batch of episodes in April showed Sue getting some antagonistic reinforcement from the likes of Sandy Ryerson (yay!) and Terri Schuester (boo!)

Also, the cruel joke about the how the kids in these singing groups kill themselves to win these competitions…only to be judged by a bunch of buffoons who arbitrarily pick a winner was funnier last year when the show did it during Sectionals. At least this time, the judges weren’t ridiculously overqualified (Josh Groban and Olivia Newton-John judging a high school singing competition in Ohio?!), but I’m still disappointed that the best Murphy — who wrote the episode — could get out of guest star Kathy Griffin was a lame Sarah Palin/Christine O’Donnell impersonation that was probably stale six months ago. At least Loretta Devine’s Sister Mary Constance made me think of “Sister Act 2.”

But I really don’t want to dwell on the negative, because there was a lot to like.

The cast, by and large, once again delivered strong performances. I was especially impressed by Lea Michele and Dianna Agron.

Quinn was still seeing Finn on the down low heading into Regionals. Finn wasn’t quite ready to go public, much to the chagrin of Quinn who was craving the title of prom queen. (We learned last night that prom queens live longer.) As a result, she adopted a “Keep your enemies closer” approach with Rachel.

I thought it was clever that the main reason New Directions wound up going with original songs was because Quinn supported Rachel’s suggestion with devious motives. Eventually, Rachel confronted Quinn in a fantastic, emotional scene that displayed Quinn’s bitchiness and a tiny bit of her heart. When Quinn cruelly told Finn that she needed to end up with Finn in Lima because Rachel was destined for bigger things, I detected more than a hint of jealousy for Rachel’s talent, as well as a the faintest glimmer of a desire to see Rachel man up, get over Finn and achieve her true potential.

Of course, the other, non-musical stand-out scene in the episode was the kiss between Blaine and Kurt. The scene was romantic, but also a little funny and awkward. Although, Blaine realizing (and acting on) his feelings for Kurt felt a bit sudden, I feel like this coupling was earned because the two had established a really strong friendship and bond.

Still, the best thing about this episode was all the music. Even though I reflexively cringed when I read that the show would be tackling original material, most of the songs really impressed me.

Since the show sometimes forgets that it’s a musical/high school comedy, it was refreshing to see a whopping 11 numbers (some partial), all of which were performed by the talented young actors who play the students. Let’s go ahead and break down all the musical numbers:

“Misery”…B: A perfectly serviceable, but standard Warblers performance of a top 40 hit. Then again, that was probably the point since this was where Kurt called Blaine out for hogging all the solos. (“Blaine and the Pips.”) This number actually opened the episode (no dialogue, no “Previously on…) and set the music-heavy tone for the rest of the hour.

“Only Child”…B-: Another funny, disastrous, hyper-specific attempt by Rachel to write her own song. I liked “My Headband” a lot better. (So did Brittany, since we found out it’s her favorite song…awesome!)

“Blackbird”…B+: A lovely number for sure, but I’m not entirely buying THIS being the moment where Blaine realized that he was in love with Kurt. (During his eulogy for his pet bird Pavarotti?!) It’s not even the best Beatles cover from Kurt this season (that’d be “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”).

“Trouty Mouth”…B: I think Santana sounded really good during her jazzy ode to her sham boyfriend’s mouth. Unfortunately, Sam’s lips have officially overtaken Will’s hair as the show’s overused punchline.

“Big Ass Heart”…A-: Really funny, clever and sweet ode from Puck to current lady love Lauren.

“Hell to the No”…C-: Sorry, but Mercedes’ attempt at an original song was WAY too much Sassy Black Girl 101. (I mean, look at the title!) Is there nothing more to Mercedes besides the fact that’s she’s black and big. (When the song rhymed “Tell me I should eat my Wheaties” with “Tell me I’d come down with diabetes” I literally groaned out loud.)

“Jesus is My Friend”…D+: Intentionally soulless and terrible, but soulless and terrible nonetheless.

“Candles”…B-: I loved how Blaine realized that he WAS hogging all the solos, so his big gesture was to hand Kurt a (co)solo. The Warblers went from having Blaine sing lead on all their songs to…having Blaine decide who sings lead on all their songs, while still kind of singing lead. Thanks, oh mighty Blaine! Honestly though, Chris Colfer and Darren Criss sounded good here, but this was a slight letdown for me. I thought it’d be a home run after their earlier, emotional scene.

“Raise Your Glass”…A: Maybe the Warblers ARE meant to acapella-ize top 40 songs because I thought this was actually a great improvement on the original. (Then again, I was always lukewarm on this Pink song.)

“Get It Right”…A: This could’ve been VERY Lea Michele Ballad 101, but damnit the song actually moved me. Maybe I was paying closer attention to the words because it’s an original song, but the (admittedly sappy) lyrics don’t just apply to love. Of course, I probably don’t have to tell you that Michele knocked it out of the park.

“Loser Like Me”…B: This was the glee club’s more pop-y attempt at an uplifting anthem. I remember enjoying it when it was happening, but it also immediately exited my mind when it was over. Also, too much Rachel on lead vocals in the beginning…this was an excellent chance to spread the solos around.

So what’d you think of this episode? Do you think New Directions deserved the win? (I actually do, just like I thought they deserved to lose to Vocal Adrenaline last year.) Finally, doesn’t Rod Remington have anything better to do than judge high school singing competitions?