Glee: New York State of Mind

Coming off two consecutive strong episodes, I had high hopes for the epic season 2 finale of “Glee.”

I should’ve known better. Most of the finale was, for lack of a better word, stupid.

I PROMISE you that I wanted the New York-set finale of “Glee” to be good. In fact, my biggest complaint is that it really should’ve been a two-part episode: one hour mostly devoted to New Directions exploring the city and the second hour mostly devoted to Nationals

Instead, the episode was mostly devoted to glee club members frolicking around New York City (or complaining about being stuck in their hotel rooms), while Nationals — you know, that little competition they’ve been working toward ALL FREAKIN’ YEAR — was crammed into a 15-minute segment. (The girl group who sang Usher’s “Yeah” made me curious about what some of the other show choirs had to offer.) I mean, did we really need TWO different musical numbers in which characters realized their dream of singing on a Broadway stage?

That being said, at least the frolicking looked fantastic. One of the things I did like about this episode was that the show took full advantage of its New York City locations. Central Park, breakfast at Tiffany’s and Sardi’s restaurant looked as fantastically perfect as they should’ve looked to a bunch of kids visiting NYC for the first time. Sardi’s even provided a cameo by Broadway legend Patti LuPone, though the best part was LuPone telling Rachel “He’s cute” before she walked away from Rachel’s date with Finn. (Though I hated that Rachel pulled away when Finn tried to kiss her at the end of their date: she’s been trying to steal her away from Quinn for half the season and when she finally succeeds, she runs away…get the f--- out of here!)

Unfortunately, too much of this episode was either rushed or downright insulting to our intelligence.

For example, are we really supposed to believe that New Directions arrived in New York having absolutely no idea what they were going to be singing? They didn’t work on writing their original material AT ALL before Mr. Schuester stuffed them in their hotel rooms? Puh-leeze!

I realize they this is more of a personal preference, but the original songs didn’t really click with me. I know we’re supposed to think that New Directions didn’t place in the top 10 because of Finn and Rachel’s kiss, but it ended up seeming like they didn’t place because they weren’t good enough. (At least to me.)

There were also dropped plot points galore. Maybe it’s just me, but I think Mr. Schue gave up on his Broadway dreams WAY too easily. Maybe I’m being too practical here, but why couldn’t he lead New Directions to a win at Nationals, and THEN make his Broadway debut and inspire his students to achieve their dreams. Instead, we got more crying about how much he loves his kids. At least Vocal Adrenaline coach Dustin Goolsby — who got all of Sue Sylvester’s dialogue this week, including “I hate my kids. I would literally whip them if I could” — was there to mock him. (And at least his villainous character makes sense within the story.)

Also, is it just my imagination, or didn’t Quinn announce at the end of last week’s episode that she had some evil plan to sabotage Finn and Rachel or New Directions? Unless Quinn’s master stroke was to rat on Finn and Rachel for leaving their hotel rooms, I honestly think that the writers completely forgot about this plot point. (Has there ever been a sloppier super-successful show than “Glee”?!)

My thoughts on how Nationals panned out (besides “not enough Jesse St. James!” are mostly contained in my reviews of the musical performances. Before we get to that, I have to talk about the little epilogue at the end of the episode, which found a way to include Darren Criss’s Blaine.

It was a surprisingly hopeful and optimistic end to the season, which finished with a shot of Mr. Schue hoisting their tiny 12th place trophy. Kurt is still with Blaine, Rachel is now with Finn (until they break up again), Brittany and Santana are friends, and Sam and Mercedes are a couple. Wait, what?! Sure why not? Gotta get in as many couplings as we can, and these two were pretty much the only free agents out there. But why in the hell would they keep it a secret. Oof! My head hurts

Let’s just grade the music already.

“My Cup”...C-: This was so obviously an over-produced, pre-recorded track (I mean more than what we usually get on this show) that I couldn’t focus on the comedy it was supposed to provide. Come on, “Glee”! At least TRY to make it sound like these kids are singing live!

“I Love New York/New York, New York”…C+: The combination of the kids rejoicing being in New York with this thumping, soulless pop song didn’t work for me. Call me crazy, but I think this scene needed cheesier, peppier music.

“Still Got Tonight”…D: No one wanted to hear Matthew Morrison sing songs from his crappy album live. So I DEFINITELY didn’t want him to force songs from his crappy album on us through this show. He sounded good, but I was rolling my eyes the entire time. In fact, my eyes almost rolled to the back of my head when that guy told Mr. Schue what a massive talent he was.

“Bella Notte”…A-: It was brief, but the guys (Puck, Artie, Sam and Mike Chang) singing in the background (well, except for useless Mike, of course) and providing a soundtrack for the two lovers reminded me of a Disney movie. And that’s always a great thing.

“For Good”…A: Now THIS is the “Characters Realizing Their Dream of Singing on a Broadway Stage” number I would keep. (Sorry, Mr. Schue. Oh wait…no I’m not!) Rachel and Kurt two are great together, especially when they’re being theatrical, and they were COMPLETELY in their element on stage at the Gershwin Theatre, where “Wicked” makes its home.

“As Long As You’re There”…A: I probably wasn’t supposed to think that Sunshine Corazon and Vocal Adrenaline knocked this number out of the park and deserved a spot in the top 10 over New Directions…but I did.

“Pretending”…B+: As far as Finn and Rachel ballads go, this was good, but not quite great…except for that breathtaking kiss. The shot that made the auditorium seem completely empty as they were kissing was terrific. The song? Not so much.

“Light Up the World”…B: Honestly, what’s the difference between this and “Loser Like Me,” the last peppy, original group song that New Directions performed in competition? Well, besides the fact that this one has an infinitely lamer title.

So what’d you think of this episode? Why won’t this show let Cheyenne Jackson sing? (So far, all he gets to do is wear a Bluetooth and act like an ass.) Are all the security guards in New York as friendly as the guy who allowed Rachel and Kurt on stage? Finally, did you know that New York City was built on top of Old York City? (I’m pretty sure that’s not true.)

Thanks for riding on the rollercoaster ride that was season 2 of “Glee.” (It was the kind of rollercoaster that has more lows than highs.)