It's Complicated Review

The movie world revolves around me – sorry, but it’s true.

It’s not exactly a national secret that most major movies released these days are targeted at young men (like me). I’m not saying this is a good thing or a bad thing (actually, it’s a bad thing), that’s just the way things are.

It’s also why I keep telling anyone who’ll listen (it usually ends up being my long-suffering girlfriend Erica) that there’s a lot of money to be made by targeting the underserved portions of the moviegoing public – namely, young women, men over 50 and, ESPECIALLY, women over 50.

Now, I’m not saying “It’s Complicated” was made exclusively for women over 50 – it’s not like they check to see if you have gray hairs and/or a vagina when you buy your ticket. It’s just that after seeing this movie in a packed theatre, and missing a good portion of the dialogue because people were laughing so loud after jokes, I realized just how starving these people were for a movie made by and starring people just like them.

“It’s Complicated” is a funny, entertaining movie, but it’s not THAT good.

The movie stars Meryl Streep as Jane, who has been divorced from her ex-husband Jake for 10 years. During their son’s graduation, Jane and Jake fall back into bed and begin an affair. Meanwhile, Jane begins flirting with Adam (Steve Martin), the shy architect working on her house.

Streep (in a shocking turn of events) is very good as Jane and it’s always fun to see the capital-S Serious Actress cut loose and have a good time on screen (or at least more fun than it was in “Mamma Mia”). Still, unlike most Streep performances, I’m not really sure she brought anything to the table that a number of other actresses (like writer/director Nancy Meyers’ “Something’s Gotta Give” protagonist Diane Keaton) couldn’t have brought.

Baldwin, who really has brilliantly recalibrated his dark/serious screen persona from dramas to comedies over the last few years, gets most of the laughs as the insatiable and incorrigible Jake. Baldwin and Streep have a chemistry that comes more from them being top-notch pros than it does from anything written in the script. In fact, Baldwin is mostly just doing a softer variation of his Jack Donaghy character from “30 Rock.”

That’s probably why I found Steve Martin’s performance so appealing. His most popular comedic style has been that of a smartass (where he’s at his best), but in recent years he’s alternated between acting extremely harried in horrible family movies (the “Cheaper by the Dozen” saga) and just being annoying (the new “Pink Panther” movies). As the self-deprecating, wounded Adam, he showed a more vulnerable and likable side and I thought it worked really well.

The rest of the cast is not nearly as lucky. I actually would’ve been ok with editing out all of Jane and Jake’s kids. In fact, the only younger actor who stood out was John Krasinski as Jane and Jake’s son-in-law, though Krasinski mostly looks relieved to have the chance to be funny again since Jim has been so serious on “The Office” this year. It also would’ve been nice if Meyers had given Lake Bell (as Jake’s new, younger wife) something to play other than “all bitchy, all the time.”

In fact, Meyers seemed more concerned with art direction than she did fleshing out her supporting cast. (I dare you to take a look at Jane’s house or her bakery and NOT covet her life!)

Still, what do I know? For example, I thought the sequence where the main characters end up smoking what had to be the most powerful joint in the world was a bit unoriginal and incredibly predictable, but the audience in my theatre absolutely ate it up.

And there’s the rub – just because something isn’t 100% to my taste doesn’t mean that there isn’t a large number of people who’d be rolling in the aisles and clapping when a movie like this ends. (Did I just go triple negative on you?)

I think it’s cool that a comedy where the main cast is over 50 made $100 million. The people in my theatres obviously agreed and their immense enjoyment of this flick enhanced my own moviegoing experience.

It’s Complicated…B-

Avatar Review

Perhaps you’ve heard of this scrappy little flick struggling to make a buck.

Look, “Avatar” has been out for over a month, which means that it’s already gone from being “really good” to the “defining movie of our generation” to “wildly overrated” to (possibly) being on its way to becoming slightly underrated.

I’m sure you know the score. Before it opened, the talk was that this film was going to change the way movies are made. Obviously that remains to be seen, but what can’t be disputed is that, in seven weeks, “Avatar” has become the highest-grossing movie of all time.

Now that we got all that stuff out of the way, I’m going to try and do something that doesn’t usually happen when the subject of “Avatar” comes up – talk about the movie.

Unless you’ve been living under a (Pandoran) rock you know that the movie follows paraplegic Marine Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) who has been dispatched to Pandora, a moon located several light years from Earth. It’s 2154 and humans are mining a precious mineral called unobtanium (that’s a mighty inconvenient name). The biggest problem for the humans is the presence of the Na’vi, a race of 10-foot-tall blue humanoid creatures.

To interact with the Na’vi, the human colonists have developed an avatar program in which a person’s consciousness is transported into the body of a genetically-engineered Na’vi host.

Jake – thrilled over the fact that he can walk (and run) again – eventually falls in with a Na’vi named Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) and her tribe. The human colonists become impatient and Jake eventually has to choose sides between the violent mercenaries (led by Stephen Lang’s Col. Quaritch) and the peaceful Na’vi.

Where writer/director/King of the World James Cameron succeeds is in creating a fully immersive and engaging world the audience hasn’t seen before (I’m especially a fan of the Hallelujah Mountains). You get so sucked in that you don’t even think about things like, “Why spend SO much time and money on the avatar program if these mercenaries are chomping at the bit to wipe out the Na’vi no matter what?”

Still, I’m not exactly going out on a limb when I say that Cameron’s weakness has always been his writing and dialogue. Also, I’m sure you’ve heard how the plot borrows liberally from “Dances with Wolves”, “Pocahontas”, “FernGully” and others.

Fortunately, Cameron makes up for his shortcomings as a writer by being a masterful storyteller. Since he’s literally created this brand new world, it always feels like there’s something new to discover around the corner. (I see you’ve gotten use to the Na’Vi – well check out these pterodactyl-looking mofos!) As far as the “Dances with Pocahontas” criticism is concerned – I just feel that, if you look hard enough, you can find previous influences in almost any movie.

Cameron is also aided by a solid, if unspectacular cast. Worthington is appropriately steady as Jake Sully, while Lang brings a welcome, demented joy to playing Quaritch, though I wish he weren’t simply doing an impersonation of every single joyfully-demented military commander since Robert Duvall in “Apocalypse Now.” Just once, I’d like to see a villainous military commander, who is not a lunatic and uses smarts over brute force. (Oh yeah, that’d be Christoph Waltz’s Col. Landa in “Inglourious Basterds”!)

As is the case with almost every James Cameron flick, the women steal the show. Saldana (whose facial expressions and body movements are the basis for Neytiri, as well as giving a good voice performance) is sort of fantastic, while Sigourney Weaver gives an appealingly cranky performance as Dr. Grace Augustine, head of the avatar program.

Though I’m not exactly rushing out to give any of these people Oscar nominations for their acting, I think their performances have been underrated. To me, the biggest difference between “Avatar” and, say, the “Star Wars” prequels is that Cameron was still able to coax good work out of his actors, while George Lucas made good actors look embarrassingly-bad.

Cameron, making his first movie in more than a decade, also hasn’t forgotten how to direct an action sequence. In the time since Cameron has been gone, it seems like action movies have shifted toward a more jittery, hand-held camera, “you really are there” feel, which isn’t right or wrong. All I know is that I was grateful to see a director pull back the camera and actually let the audience see what was happening.

Sure, this movie has its flaws (the environmental message could’ve been a bit more subtle, the good guys could’ve been a bit more interesting, and the bad guys could’ve used a bit more shading), but you can’t help but come away impressed by the boldness of Cameron’s filmmaking.

In a landscape where every other big movie is a sequel to an adaptation of a TV show based on a theme park ride, the director has successfully created a brave and blue new world for movie fans (both casual and ardent) to come together and discuss, complain, argue or praise.

Avatar…A-

Project Runway: Two's a Crowd

Everyone knows these team challenges aren’t going to turn out well.

I suspect producers know this too, which is why this has become an annual rite of passage on “Project Runway.”

If you’re a fan of workroom drama, then this episode came at just the right time because there really hadn’t been much in the way of confrontation in the season’s first two episodes beyond the designers giving Ping and her crazy antics the side-eye. (I’m actually perfectly ok without the drama because, unlike most reality show contestants, these people are really talented and work really hard, and there’s plenty of drama to be found in what they do.)

This week’s challenge had the contestants taking a field trip to the Met to be inspired by some of the most iconic designers of all time (Yves Saint Laurent, Dior, etc.) The challenge was to team up with a partner and create a signature look worthy of the Met. They had a budget of $500, the biggest in “Runway” challenge history, I believe.

If any of the contestants had actually watched the show, they should’ve seen a twist coming – Tim announced midway through the challenge that they’d have to create a second, “look for less” with a $50 budget that was also inspired by a fellow team’s signature look. (Oy, my head hurts – this was one twist too many.)

As soon as Jesse ridiculed Ping at the top of the episode, we knew they were destined to work together. The other teams were Anthony/Seth Aaron, Janeane/Ben, Mila/Jonathan, Emilio/Anna, Jesus/Amy, Jay Nicolas/Maya, but Ping/Jesse was by far the most (only?) combustible relationship.

It didn’t start well (Jesse slamming his palm down in a Mood counter) and it ended even worse. Look, I get that Jesse was VERY frustrated that he was partnered with someone that had such an erratic work ethic, but I don’t really see how being an angry jerk was supposed to help. (I always thought he looked like Christian Bale, but watching him pissed off REALLY made him look like Bale – what don’t you f---ing understand?!)

On the other hand, at least Jesse’s anger and frustration showed than he cared. Too many times on this show, a designer who doesn’t get along with their team captain will say, “F--- it” and take the week off and/or let their partner go down in flames. I mean, at least Jesse was trying.

Unfortunately for them, that didn’t really keep them out of the bottom 2/4 where they were joined by Anthony and Seth Aaron (who got low scores despite nixing the red in their “Vice President of McDonald’s” dress).

The runway show was eh (they have been more impressive, overall, than last season), but it was mostly head-spinning because you had to keep track of two different designers’ work for the first round AND keep track of which team they were supposed to be inspired by.

The battle for the weekly win came down to Jay Nicolas/Maya (Jay Nicolas may or may not have rested on his immunity this week, according to Maya) and Mila/Jonathan. The editing tried to trick us by playing up the fact that all team captain Mila had done was make their athletic-style jacket, while Jonathan did everything else. Fortunately for Mila, the judges absolutely LOVED the jacket and gave her the win (and immunity.) (Personally, I thought it was a little weird and ugly – but interesting.) I suppose if you’re only going to do one thing, you should do it really well, so kudos!

It was also pretty clear who was going home Thursday night. I didn’t think Anthony and Seth Aaron’s signature look, though costume-y, was as bad as the judges made it out to be. I also kinda, sorta liked their “look for less” (sue me). I certainly don’t think it deserved Nina’s stingingly-direct and harsh, “Both pieces are REALLY ugly.”

That left Ping to defend her Statue of Liberty-style signature look (it wasn’t much if the model wasn’t holding up the train) and their ill-fitting tragedy of a look for less. Ping was also besieged by her partner (Jesse/Angry Christian Bale complained about having to each her how to sew) and a model (Megan whined about Ping never even bother to fit her dress.)

The only question was whether Heidi would exercise the “or more” option in sending one person “or more” home last night. It came down to Ping and Anthony, and there was no way the show was going to lose its two most interesting personalities on the same night.

Farewell Ping. I’ll miss your broken English, and I’m sure the mirror in the workroom will miss you running over and trying on your own designs on yourself.

So what’d you think of this episode? Did Anthony deserve to go home too? Finally, was Megan right to throw Ping under the bus?

Project Runway: Funny Farm

I know, I know – you’ve seen this episode, you’ve forgotten about it, and you’ve mentally moved on to Thursday night’s team challenge fiasco.

Well, I didn’t get around to checking this out until yesterday, and, it was just too good for me to move on without doing a quick recap. (My column on the latest “Runway” episode will be up soon – maybe.)

The designers met up with Tim in a farm (not Broadway or the moon, Janeane) where he was backed up by a herd of models wearing potato sacks. The challenge was to prove the old saying — “she could make a potato sack look good” — is true and create a cocktail look out of a potato sack for an upcoming “industry function.”

The most noteworthy part of this process (other than Jay Nicolas’ random cartwheel in a field that HAD to include manure) was Mila’s model choosing to work with Anthony instead. Mila became insecure about her skills before passive-aggressively lashing out at Anthony. (The gist was “Ew, why would she choose to work with Anthony over me.) I kind of gave Anthony a hard time during the premiere for being to sass-tastic by half, but I like that he told Mila to kiss he and his family’s ass. (My other favorite part was Tim telling the designers to use the farm stand “thoughtfully” as if it were some sort of acceptable substitute for the Bluefly.com Accessory Wall.)

That being said, I’m REALLY glad the model switch worked out for Mila (she and her new model gelled beautifully and produced a sleek, futuristic garment that probably should’ve won) because I have a feeling we would’ve been hearing about this for weeks if it hadn’t.

Mila was joined in the top 3 by Amy (with a flowy, earthy look that was my girlfriend Erica’s favorite) and challenge winner Jay Nicolas (who changed course from a navy blue dye he didn’t like to black, including a fantastically fluffy skirt that didn’t look like potato sack at all.) To be honest, I wouldn’t have had a problem with any of the top 3 winning – but Jay Nicolas’ was my third favorite look. I also really liked Anthony’s stylish red dress. (I also liked that it proved this guy could actually design a little.)

The bottom 3 was made up of Jesus (who broke the first and most important commandment on “Project Runway”: “Thou shalt listen to the advice Tim gives you during his workroom visit!”) Pamela and her denim booty-tasic dress (uh, double up, uh uh!) and Ping. (I admire that Jesse made pants, but he’s lucky his uncomfortable-looking ensemble wasn’t deemed bottom-3 worthy.)

Oh Ping. Our semi-beloved flake was also guilty of breaking that first commandment (Tim warned her about her dress being too short). Then again, if Ping had listened to Tim, we wouldn’t have gotten the amazingly hilarious sight of Ping’s model walking down the runway with her butt cheeks flapping in the wind. (Bonus points to Heidi for leaning in to get a better look.)

Ping was spared because she’s just too much fun to have around and the judges wanted to see what she’d come up with next. The elimination came down to Pamela and Jesus, who had, well, skirted the challenge by covering the bottom of his potato sack with ribbon, against Tim’s advice.

I would’ve bet money that Jesus (in the bottom two for the second week in a row and looking totally hopeless) was going home, but I would’ve lost. At first, I was somewhat outraged about this, but then they kept showing Pamela’s dress and how big it made her model’s ass look. Also, though Pamela executed the denim dye job perfectly – who the hell would want to wear a denim dress to a fashion industry cocktail party?

So what’d you think of this episode? Did Jesus deserve to go home? Who would you have picked as the winner? Finally, isn’t Seth Aaron a little old to be dressing the way he does?

Heroes: A Shot in the Dark

Though it wasn’t a (mostly-intentional) laugh-fest like last week’s episode, “The Art of Deception” continued building toward a season finale that (gasp!) may not totally suck!

Yes, yes, I’m aware that all “Heroes” season finales are required (maybe by law) to suck, but I’m still holding out hope.

I mean, it took most of the season, but Samuel has finally (and not a moment too soon) embraced his evil side.

The leader of the Sullivan Bros. carnival sensed a mutiny was on his hands after he decimated a good portion of a town. The rest of the carnies were looking to Lydia for leadership and Samuel needed to do something.

Fortunately for him, HRG was simultaneously planning an assault on the carnival. Claire went to visit her dad to try to make amends, but instead discovered her dad’s plans and went off to the carnival to try to warn them. To be honest, my favorite part of this sequence of events was Gretchen calling Claire out for constantly whining about wanting a normal life yet repeatedly putting herself in situations where she could get shot.

And that’s precisely what happened. Samuel claimed he was going to give himself up to HRG, who was crouched in a nearby hill with a sniper rifle. (The scene with HRG talking to Claire on the phone while he had her in his scope was sort of excellent.) Instead, sniper fire started raining down on the carnival, hitting Claire, Samuel and mortally wounding Lydia. R.I.P. Lydia – you were a sneakily important character this season that no one will actually miss. That’s just how “Heroes” rolls these days.

Samuel was able to pin Lydia’s murder on HRG (it was really the Replicating Man in those hills) and tossed him into the Hall of Mirrors. Meanwhile, Samuel also summoned Emma to the carnival to treat his gunshot wound. However, we know the REAL reason she’s there is to draw more “specials” to the carnival since, as Lauren helpfully reminded us, Samuel becomes more powerful when he has more people with abilities around him.

Once again, I can’t say how grateful I am that Samuel has gone into full-villain mode.

Which bring us to Sylar.

God bless Zachary Quinto for making this stuff entertaining. When Matt asked if Sylar was a part of his subconscious, Sylar replied with, “That’s SO two months ago.” It turns out that Sylar envied Matt because he could live a normal life with his powers (an interesting thought) and he wanted Parkman to somehow suppress all of Sylar’s abilities.

Two things: 1.) I’ve been over the idea of reforming/remaking Sylar as a good guy for a few years now, and Quinto’s performance is the only thing keeping me invested in anything this character does. 2.) Even if Matt had suppressed Sylar’s power, we all knew there was no chance in hell that would stick.

That’s why I actually really enjoyed it when Parkman trapped Sylar in his own brain (it makes me sad how they’ve squandered the potential of Matt’s power by making him such a whiny loser) and preparing to bury him alive.

Of course, Peter had to swoop in and ruin everything.

Personally, I thought it was interesting that Peter was dealing with his mom’s power and having those horrific dreams of the future. I think it sort of helps explain why Angela can be such a cold-hearted bitch. Anyway, there was no time for that because Peter had to save Sylar’s life, since Sylar is the person who saves the day in that Hall of Mirrors dream sequence (now featuring Doyle controlling Emma).

Peter went into Sylar’s brain to get him out and, by episode’s end, he was stuck in there. Unfortunately, Sylar’s brain looks like an eerily empty New York City street, so Peter might be looking around for a good while.

So what’d you think of this episode? Where did the Replicating Man get a sniper rifle? (Is he able to replicate those too?) Finally, why don’t you just admit it – you’d kind of forgotten that Tracy existed, right?

American Idol: Katy Perry Dissed a Girl and I Liked It

You may have noticed (actually, you probably didn’t) that I haven’t posted an “American Idol” recap in more than a week.

Part of the reason is because I’ve fallen a bit behind on my TV-watching. Another reason is that two out of the last three audition episodes have been borderline unwatchable. Hollywood Week can’t get here soon enough.

Before I get to the most recent L.A. audition episode (one of the two “borderline unwatchable” eps), allow me to give you my stream of consciousness thoughts on the Chicago and Orlando auditions.

First Chicago: thank GOD the audition episodes started being only an hour right about now! The term “boob boxing” is funny, but not as clever as Kara thought it was. The “Tiny Tim” guy was a good impersonator – but a bad singer. Chicago generally seemed to have a higher-than-usual ratio of freaks overall (or maybe it was a lower ratio of viable talent). My favorites were Charity Vance and John Park’s lower register (or “bottom end” as Shania Twain might say) — seriously, that guy could go FAR if he doesn’t crap the bed in Hollywood Week. I’m not really sure why they thought a girl whose parents were going through a divorce was worthy of a pre-performance package, but we got one anyway. Finally, Shania Twain was pretty excellent as a guest judge. Is there any reason she can’t replace Randy or Kara?

Now Orlando: This was actually one of the best audition episodes in a while – or maybe it seemed that way because the show made the controversial decision to show more successful auditions than failures. I loved Jermain Purifoy’s “Smile” audition — though not as much as guest judge Kristin Chenoweth, who looked like she was ready to pounce. I was enjoying Chenoweth – too bad she could only hang out for one day. The two sisters weren’t as annoying as they could’ve been, but just once I’d like to hear one person say “I’m better” when two people audition at the same time. So apparently, it’s ok for a contestant to have a criminal past (like talented “Trouble” singer Matt Lawrence’s bank robbing exploits) as long as you tell the producers beforehand. M-kay. Did Randy Jackson REALLY not recall Blake Lewis’ name? (I know Randy’s useless, but come on!) How did Jarrod Norrell go from being escorted away to on lying on his face in handcuffs? (And why was Kara so randomly mean to him?) The best part of Shelby Dressel’s audition was when she accidentally said “s---” when she forgot her lyrics. Finally, they let through the guy who ripped his pants?! REALLY?!

Ok, enough reflecting on the past – let’s now talk about the most recent past.

If you hadn’t guessed by now, the L.A. audition episode was the second atrocious audition episode. We only saw five successful auditions, but at least two of them were thoroughly delightful.

By that I mean that I believe Tasha Layton and Andrew Garcia have the talent AND charisma to make it to the semifinals and, potentially, the top 12. Tasha delivered a strong take of Joss Stone’s “Baby, baby, baby”, but, more importantly seemed comfortable and brought a sense of joy to the audition room. Meanwhile, Andrew Garcia didn’t need the backstory about his parents being in gangs to endear us to him – his smooth, soulful version of Sunday morning was more than enough.

The other three successful singers shown on TV were all somewhat overshadowed by a variety of reasons. Mary Powers (the rock look WAS a bit clichéd) sounded good singing “Love is a Battlefield”, but her Simon-loving daughter stole the show. Jim Ranger’s performance of an original song “Drive” was decent, but all I remember is guest judge Avril Lavigne (wearing a poser-ish “Where the Wild Things Are”-type horned hoodie) grilling the guy about how he was going to balance his church and family life while being a pop star. (If she didn’t like his singing, that’s one thing, but saying “no” because being a musician requires a lot of travel is stupid.)

Then there’s Chris Golightly – I’m told he sang “Stand by Me”, but that’s about the fifth thing I remember about him. I remember the foster kid backstory. I remember the Sideshow Bob haircut. Most importantly, I remember Katy Perry laying a verbal smackdown on Kara DioGuardi.

It’s kind of a shame because when Kara was talking about the pain he’d gone through in his life, I believe she was (clumsily) trying to make a point about how he can imbue his performances with his life experiences. Of course, Kara mostly butchered that point and prompted Katy Perry to say “This is not a Lifetime movie, sweetheart.” (Well, sometimes it is.)

Can I get a big “HELL YES!” Of course, having “Idol” producers pre-program us with sob stories to let us know who to root for (Danny Gokey) anyone is nothing new. However, seeing a person on my screen actually call the show out for that was kinda shocking (in an excellent way). Sure, Katy’s point would have a little more credibility behind it if she didn’t sound absolutely horrible every time I’ve heard her sing live, but that doesn’t mean she’s not 100 percent right. She made Kara look downright silly Tuesday night.

On top of that, the “Lifetime” blast was only my second favorite Katy quote. The winner would be Katy telling Kara that she should never put someone through just because you feel bad for them. “A” and “MEN”! And here I thought Katy would have nothing to add beyond to the panel beyond some boobaliciousness. (Which, to her credit, she also brought.)

So what’d you think of this episode? Why in the world didn’t they show Sanjaya’s crying girl auditioning? (Seriously – out of all the pre-taped packages, they couldn’t give us THAT?!) Do you think I could pull off the Adam Lambert look? (If you were scoring at home, that was “Project Runway” contestant Daniel Franco auditioning. Also, A.J. Mendoza’s “Cult of Personality” was basically everything bad about Adam’s singing.) Finally, are you on Team Katy or Team Kara?

24: Death Wish

This season of “24” has really been “The Renee Show.”

Of course, you can debate whether or not this is a good thing, seeing as how Renee didn’t show up until hour #4. The fact that we’re more interested in her than the season’s main terrorist plot is probably not great. Need more evidence that Renee is driving the action right now? Jack spent 85 % of his screen time last night sitting in a car by himself. (Think about it – it’s true.) Thankfully, we got to hear the classic/hoarse Bauer yell a few times when he let out a few “Damnits” and a surprisingly funny “Are you kidding me?!”

Fortunately, Annie Wersching is knocking it out of the park right now. I was getting worried that her performance had become too reliant on heavy eye makeup and vacant stares, but the episode’s final scene was both pulse-poundingly tense and heartbreaking.

We’ll get to that in a bit, but first a bit of housecleaning. I erroneously reported last week that Renee had sliced off Ziya’s hand and part of his wrist to remove his parole bracelet. It turns out that she’d only sliced off a thumb so that she could easily slide the bracelet off. See, she’s not THAT crazy!

Jack tried to pull the plug on the mission, but Renee sorta convinced him that she was STILL in control and the good guys didn’t really have a better option. Renee and Ziya met up with Renee’s old flame Vladimir and Vladimir’s infinitely-more perceptive sidekick, who is distrustful of Renee. In a terrific scene, (good use of the split screen!) Jack fed Renee some CTU-gathered information to convince Vladimir that she was a legitimate crook. Despite getting all the right answers, Vlad tossed her in a trunk with Ziya and drove off to execute them.

In a very un-Jack move (are his feelings for Renee clouding his judgment), Jack followed a decoy car, (“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” which meant there was no way for him and CTU to reach and rescue Renee on time.

This is about the time Wersching took over. Vladimir killed Ziya (Renee didn’t even flinch) before dumping him in what looked like Mystic River and pointing his gun at Renee. That prompted Renee to give a great speech about how she had nothing to live for and practically begging Vlad to shoot her and put her out of her spooky misery. Vlad spared her life and Renee maintained her cover. Except that we’re not really supposed to believe that everything Renee said was meant to maintain her cover. Jack expressed concern earlier on that Renee was purposely putting herself in harm’s way (it was revealed that Vladimir had beat her up in the past, among other things). Wersching made me believe that Renee honestly didn’t care whether she lived or died.

Unfortunately, none of the season’s other storylines were nearly as compelling.

I was encouraged to see Cherry Jones finally getting a bit to do when she went toe-to-toe with President Omar Hassan. After being betrayed by someone close to him, President Hassan had effectively declared martial law in his own country, which sort of put a damper on his peace-keeping mission in the U.S. Both presidents stood their grounds, and I’m curious to see how this gets resolved.

I also hope we haven’t seen the last of Hassan’s wife and daughter. The estranged married couple had a brief, but VERY effective scene in which President Hassan asked for his wife’s forgiveness and council. She couldn’t bring herself to do it, and I’m really interested in finding out what happened between them. (This, of course, is assuming that his affair with Meredith Reed is NOT the reason she hates him – I sort of just assumed that Hassan didn’t start that relationship until after his marriage was on the rocks.)

Hassan’s brother Farhad is cooling his heels with a pair of Russian prostitutes until his payment reaches the Russian buyer Sergei Bazhaev. Meanwhile, in a development designed to give CTU a lead when Renee’s mission inevitably goes downhill, Bazhaev’s oldest son (David Anders of “Alias” and “Heroes”) took his younger, dying brother to a doctor against his father’s wishes to treat baby bro’s radiation poisoning. How long until the doctor tries to contact the authorities? One episode? Two, tops!

Finally, I’m tired of complaining about the Dana/Jenny storyline and I’m sure that you’re tired of hearing me complain about it. My main gripe isn’t that an ex-con who was apparently an accessory to murder when she was a minor was able to get a job at CTU. What annoys me is that (so far) none of this has anything to do with anything else (so far). Oh well, since this is here and we have to deal with it, I suppose I have to give Clayne Clawford kudos for doing a terrific job of playing the scumbaggy Kevin. It’s going to be pretty sweet when he gets killed. I might even cheer.

So what’d you think of this episode? How come the bad guys on “24” never check for earpieces? (I mean, how small can they be?) Did anyone else laugh out loud when they saw Kiefer Sutherland wearing those ridiculous glasses in next week’s preview? Finally, who’s going to end up killing Kevin? Dana, Cole (or Arlo?!)

Heroes: The World vs. Hiro Nakamura

How low are my expectations for this show?

Are they on the floor? No, they’re definitely lower than that. The basement? The Earth’s core? Hell?!

Because, God (or Kaito Nakamura) help me, I enjoyed the latest definitely-bad-yet-thoroughly-enjoyable-in-its-own-ridiculous-way installment of “Heroes.” Mostly.

Let’s jump right into Hiro’s storyline, which had the Master of Time and Space, literally, on triall for his life.

Hiro’s brain tumor acted up early in the hour, transporting him to Charlie’s Texas diner, which doubled as a makeshift courthouse. Hiro was on trial for using his abilities for his own personal gain. His dad, Kaito (welcome back, George Takei), served as judge and Adam Monroe/Takezo Kensei (David Anders) was the prosecuting attorney.

Of course, the idea of bringing back dead characters to interact with living characters as their lives hang in the balance has been done before (a particularly atrocious recent example was “Grey’s Anatomy” ferry episode), but “Heroes” had more fun than usual with the concept.

My two favorite things (other than the shout-out to the opening narration of “Quantum Leap”) were Anders’ performance (“Hello carp”), which I enjoyed even during the dark days known as “Heroes: Season 2”, and Zachary Quinto showing up as Sylar and absentmindedly testifying as to how many people he’d killed (“Ted……Sprague!”) as a result of Hiro letting him live in exchange for Charlie’s life.

Less successful was the result of the mock trial itself. It was determined that Hiro had ultimately used his powers for his own selfish motives, despite having noble intentions and saving the world (“twice!”). Hiro had even accepted responsibility for his actions.

Unfortunately, that’s around the time the show remembered that (Nathan Petrelli notwithstanding) they’re not really in the habit of killing off popular characters, even if they’ve long outlived their usefulness. As a result, we got a weird, slapped-together sword fight between Hiro and Monroe before Hiro got a new lease on life after interacting with his saintly dead mom. (Insert sad trombone sound.)

The season’s main villain had a similar “good news/bad news” situation with his storyline.

The good news is that Samuel has FINALLY gone full villain. It turns out that all (or most) of his efforts this year have been in the surface of recreating the romance he had with his beloved Vanessa. The scenes between Samuel and Vanessa were sweet and VERY well played by Robert Knepper and Kate Vernon. Unfortunately, Vanessa (correctly) pointed out that the idyllic cottage was really Samuel’s fantasy and not hers. This caused Samuel to flip out and cause a whole town to cave in on itself (maybe they’ll run into my expectations for this show while they’re down there).

The bad news is that, um, all of our main villain’s efforts this year have been due to him wanting to impress a girl he likes. All that talk about giving people with abilities a safe place to live appears to be a bunch of crap and a waste of time. This was almost as bad as when Jack told Kate on “Lost” that he wanted to detonate the bomb and reboot timeline for her. Blech.

Speaking of blech, that’s what I expected to do during the latest “Sylar creepily hits on Claire” storyline, but I’ll be damned if Zachary Quinto and Hayden Panettiere didn’t pull this off.

Sylar caught up with Claire at her college because the latest thing with Sylar is that he doesn’t want to end up alone and Lydia’s tattoo had appeared on his body and apparently told him that Claire is what he really wanted. The dialogue between the two was too cutesy by half (again, remember when Sylar was LEGITIMATELY scary?!), but the show did bring up an interesting point about Claire and Sylar’s similarities.

Throw in a nice twist – Claire confessing to Sylar how much Gretchen means to her while Sylar was disguised as Gretchen – and this thing didn’t turn out nearly as awfully as I thought I would. That is, of course, until the writers decide what other direction they want to yank Sylar in, and they give the currently-content Claire something fresh to whine about.

So what’d you think of this episode? How did Samuel emerge from his destruction unharmed? (Does he have teleporting abilities I’m not aware of?) What does Sylar want with Parkman now? Finally, where the hell is Tracy?

Jersey Shore: Summer's End

“This was a life-changing experience, whether you like it or not.”

So said Pauly D near the end of Thursday night’s season (series?!) finale of “Jersey Shore.” I’m pretty sure he was talking about his summer Seaside Heights adventures with his fellow guidos and guidettes. However, he could’ve just as easily been talking about a nation (of reality show trash connoisseurs) captivated by the exploits of Snooki, The Situation, Pauly D, J-Woww, Ronnie, Sammi, Vinny (who made a late charge and became kinda memorable) and Angelina (“Umm, HELLO!”)

I don’t know how I expected the season to end, but I definitely expected more yelling, drinking and maybe a punch of two. Instead, we got a low-key and melancholic meditation on past times (though it stopped short of being a clip show) and an examination about the unease the future holds. (My friends are weird for thinking I read too much into “Jersey Shore”, right?!)

Sure, there were a few storylines to deal with (like Ronnie being bailed out of jail), but they were either resolved without incident (Snooki and the girls combined their brain power to use the phone and find out where he was) or went nowhere.

For example, it really seems to me like Vinny’s prank “revenge” on The Situation – dressing up a red bulldog to signify all the girls Mike has hooked up with – was a lot funnier to Vinny than it was to anyone else. Also, nothing really came of J-Woww’s “gorilla” sighting on the beach. (So are “gorillas” synonymous with “juiceheads” or a step above?)

Most of the episode, however, was spent on reflection. On top of that, Snooki got her wish and the cast seemed to spend more time together than at any other point in the season. I mean, even when Ronnie and Sammi inevitably broke away to discuss the future of their relationship, they did it on their own time, not when everyone was hanging out.

There WERE some fun individual moments. Some involved the Situation (channeling his inner R. Kelly by hitting on a young-looking girl at the beach), some involving Pauly D (he was as weirded out as I was when Vinny said Pauly was “ridiculously good looking”), but most of them courtesy of Snooki.

After having been (not really) rejected by her Irish cowboy Keith, the needy Snooki took to the boardwalk and just started dancing with herself. It was sort of mesmerizing. In an amazing, not-at-all scripted coincidence her boyfriend/true love was there. It seemed like he wanted to hang out – but not really.

Left shaken by the encounter, Snooki was eventually consoled at the house by The Situation, who gave us bit of insight into his psyche when he told her to say, “F--- it, move on” if someone hurt her and that there’s someone else out there for her. Meanwhile, I was left shaken by the sight of The Situation and Snooki “hooking up” in the bathtub. Maybe I should be more like Snooki (“It’s the end of summer, like, whatever.”)

Still, this scene was just not right, even though we all saw it coming. At first it was downright weird, then it got disgusting, but in the end it was a little sweet. (I said a little!) Yes, I realize that this isn’t the first time these two have made out in the bathtub, but they give off WAY too much of a big brother little sister vibe for this to be ok.

The Situation apparently agreed and put a stop to it. Then again, as we heard many times last night, this is just the sort of thing that happens at the “Jersey Shore.” (Or as Mike put it, “One minute, I’m in the Jacuzzi with three girls, the next somebody’s in jail.”)

Of course, given how popular these people have become, a second season is a near certainty. We even saw Mike suggest that the group reunite in Seaside Heights next summer. I definitely want to see the cast back together again, but I’m thinking a new setting might be interesting. (By the end of this year, even the group looked like they were tired of going to Karma.)

So what’d you think of this episode? If there’s a season 2, would you bring back the same cast in the same place or put them in a different setting? Would you (gasp!) bring in a completely new cast? Would you put someone new in Angelina’s spot and/or replace the eminently replaceable Vinny? Finally, do you agree with Snooki when she says that, “I really think I made that house – honestly.”?

NFL 2009 Conference Championship Picks

The Super Bowl kinda stinks.

To be clear, I’m talking about the game itself. Everything else – deciding whose SB party you’re going to go to before settling on staying in, the increasingly-disappointing commercials, wondering if it’s possible for the NFL to find an even older musical act for the halftime show (who’s next? Tony Bennett?) – is more interesting than the actual contest.

By the time the actual Super Bowl rolls around, we get a bunch of guys who haven’t played in two weeks and are nervous as hell because they’re playing in the biggest game of their lives. (Do you think it’s a coincidence that recent Super Bowls haven’t been worth a damn until the fourth quarter?)

Of course, this isn’t exactly an original thought. However, it IS the reason why I’m infinitely more excited about this weekend’s conference championship games.

I did well with my divisional round picks (3-1 week, 5-3 playoffs), but I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen in these conference title games.

N.Y. JETS @ INDIANAPOLIS
If you’ve read this picks column before, you know this is the matchup I’ve been waiting for ever since Colts coach Jim Caldwell (pictured, right) — likely under orders from team president Bill Polian — decided to pull his starters from a game against a Jets team that was desperately clawing to reach the playoffs.

I don’t even care that they threw away a chance to go 19-0 (though that would’ve been cool). Ever since that game, I’ve been obsessed with the Jets and Colts meeting in the playoffs and New York making the Colts pay for printing them a ticket to the playoffs. I believe that’s what will happen. It HAS to happen.

MINNESOTA @ NEW ORLEANS
Both teams looked absolutely excellent in blowout victories last week. This SHOULD be a great matchup, though with all the blowouts during these playoffs, who knows? I’m going with the Saints because I love their homefield advantage (and the Vikings have struggled a bit on the road) and because, while I can envision both Drew Brees and Brett Favre throwing for four TDs, I can only envision Favre throwing four INTs.

Project Runway: Empire State of Mind

I guess “7” really is a lucky number

I know it’s only been one episode, but, after watching the season 7 premiere last weekend, it already feels like all is right in “Project Runway”-land.

Also, it’s now official — “Project Runway”-land = New York City. I’m not even one of those people who whined and complained when the show made its move from New York to L.A. (That wasn’t even one of the top five reasons for the show’s awfulness last year.) However, after seeing the premiere, it’s clearer than ever that this show just belongs in New York.

Without New York, for example, I doubt we would’ve gotten moments of comedy like new contestant Janeane’s adventures with a revolving door. (Does L.A. even HAVE doors?) Seriously though, the show took advantage of its new setting almost immediately.

Tim Gunn met the designers at Central Park, where a bunch of colorful fabric was laid out for all to see. (Mood’s new outdoor branch, perhaps?) Tim then asked each of the contestants to grab as much fabric as they could for the first challenge (they should’ve been eyeballing what they wanted if they were smart) before telling them to edit their choices down to five pieces. (To make things REALLY interesting, I would’ve made each designer switch with someone else.)

The contestants were challenged to create a piece that showed who they really are as designers. I found this to be especially helpful during the premiere episode because (without a casting special and after those rapid fire introductions) we don’t know who the hell these people are. I mean, there’s the really young Hispanic guy, there’s the older lady with bangs, there’s the younger girl with bangs and, of course, the guy who played Jack Sparrow at Disney World. (At some point I’ll refer to these people by their real names – maybe.)

That being said, a few personalities stood out. Since I saw the episode a few days after it aired, I knew the breakout personalities had been Anthony and Ping. After watching the episode, it’s easy to see why.

I’m not as high on Anthony as some people. Sure, his outsize personality livens things up, but he’s simply not particularly witty or funny – he’s just loud. What’s worse he appears to think that he’s funnier than he actually is (trust me, I know about this) and he’s just too much. His shtick might’ve felt fresh about three years ago. On top of that, his dress on the premiere was ugly (unless you like that hip tumor-y look).

Then there’s Ping, who is firmly positioned as this season’s oddball. She doesn’t trust dress forms, so she tries on her garments on herself. On top of that, the only people who appeared to get her “bundle-o-fabric” design aesthetic were the judges (who were joined by guest Nicole Richie). Personally, I thought her design was a mess, but I DID think it was interesting (the thing looked MUCH better in motion than it would on a hanger, as Nina pointed out) and I really appreciated the fact that she didn’t make a dress (like 90% of contestants on this show do).

Still, the race for the challenge win (and immunity) came down to Seth Aaron (and his youth-skewing, punk aesthetic) and Emilio (with his pretty, deceptively complicated) design. Both looks were good, but I’m glad Emilio pulled out the win. (Seth Aaron’s stuff felt a bit familiar.)

The bottom three was comprised of Anthony’s hip tumor dress, Jesus’ crocodile trunk explosion Hershey dress and Christiane’s poorly-constructed frock.

I don’t think it was a coincidence that Tim had shown concern about each of the bottom 3’s designs. (Janeane dodged a bullet even though she started an entirely new look from scratch after Tim’s feedback.) Since Anthony has been heavily featured in this season’s promos, I knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

So it came down to Jesus (whose dress would’ve been ugly regardless of length – at least Nicole Richie liked it) and Christiane (whose dress was ugly, ill-conceived and poorly made). I guess you could say that, at least, Jesus’ dress wasn’t poorly made, so Christiane got the boot. Oh well, that’s one less person whose name I’ll have to learn.

So what’d you think of this episode? Did any of you use your HP virtual sketchbooks to take notes during this episode? Which non-Ping designer stood out to you? Finally, who do you see winning the whole thing? (My Ridiculously Early Pick to Win It All this Season is Jay Nicolas – just because.)

24: Let's Give Renee a Hand

Then again, it appears as if Renee already has an extra hand — and part of some Russian guy’s wrist too — after the gruesome final scene in Monday night’s back-to-back episodes.

But we’ll get to that bit of fun in a little while.

First we have to talk about how “24” wrapped up the first portion of its eighth season by killing its first main bad guy (R.I.P. Davros) and introducing another (welcome vodka-sipping baddie Bazhaev, played by Jurgen Prochnow).

Things didn’t start out too promisingly.

To absolutely no one’s surprise, Davros killed that poor “Noo Yawk” cop and his wife after the cop had arranged for Davros to take his place in President Hassan’s security detail. With Chloe’s help (and after an utterly pointless confrontation with an overly aggressive black guy that apparently only served to highlight how rude New Yorkers are), Jack discovered the dead bodies.

Unfortunately for Jack (and even more unfortunately for us), he was caught at the house by a couple of the dead cop’s friends. Even more improbably, one of the cops (the one who used to be on “The Wire”) was a rogue cop who’d seen one too many movies and TV shows and decided to teach Jack a lesson about being a cop killer.

Obviously, if Jack had simply been able to call and tell Chloe what he’d found at the house, the threat to Hassan could’ve been squashed a lot sooner. I understand that, during the course of every season of “24”, Jack has to deal with certain obstacles – I just hope the rest of the obstacles this season won’t be as painfully contrived.

Either way, Psycho Rogue Cop’s partner (Helpful Rookie Cop) helped Jack get in touch with CTU, and allowed Cole to save President Hassan’s life. (I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again – the stunts on this show really are movie quality.)

It’s a good thing too because CTU (Dick)Head Brian Hastings spent most of the first hour barking up the wrong tree. He was still grilling Meredith Reed about the Hassan assassination plot and was convinced the reporter was hiding something. Well, what she was hiding was her affair with President Hassan.

Although President Hassan has been positioned as a decent guy so far (and I’ve admired that trait), I was still pretty surprised that he admitted to the affair when Hastings asked him. This Hassan is a real stand-up guy. (Well, except for that whole relationship outside of his marriage thing, of course.)

Still, this wasn’t enough for Hastings, who was still convinced that Meredith was guilty. That’s why he believed the plans found in her computer for a bomb inside the United Nations were real. Because, clearly, it would make more sense for an assassin to sneak a bomb INTO the U.N. rather than try to kill their target outside the heavily-guarded building. (MORON!)

Fortunately, this led to the funniest exchange from last night’s two hours. After Hassan thanked Hastings for saving his life, Chloe made one of her signature sour faces in the background. Hastings noticed and asked her if she was annoyed that Hassan thanked him and not her. Chloe responded by saying that she was actually thinking that Hassan should be thanking “Jack, then Cole, then, maybe, me.” (I’m thinking Hastings would’ve probably been about 97th on that list.) Hastings later apologized to Chloe for underestimating her, and I became hopeful that the character wouldn’t turn out to be a complete toolbag. I’m also excited about the potential for comedy between those two.

I’m less excited about the potential for drama between apparent identity thief Dana Walsh and her ex from hell. The guy is fresh out of prison and is now raising hell in Dana’s apartment. Sorry if I don’t sound too enthused about the whole thing, but this storyline is downright annoying right now. Instead of giving President Taylor something interesting to do, we’ve had to sit through this garbage so far. The writers need to hurry up and reveal how the whole thing ties together with the season’s main plot – you just know it will - because if it doesn’t, then what’s the point?

As for Dana’s fiancée, I was thoroughly pleased to see Freddie Prinze Jr. get his action hero moment as Cole swerved his SUV in front of President Hassan’s car right before Davros was able to detonate his explosive. (Freddie Prinze Jr., of all people, acting like a badass amuses me to no end.) I was considerably less impressed by the fact that Davros got the jump on him, but (lucky for him) Jack was there to save the day.

Davros didn’t have any ID on him, but Jack was able to deduce through his tattoos (and I was able to follow this thanks to the movie “Eastern Promises”) that he was affiliated with the Russians. President Hassan informed Hastings that his brother Farhad — who had escaped after killing a CTU when the assassination plot crumbled — had been trying to purchase weaponized uranium and build up his country’s nuclear arsenal. Yesterday I mentioned how “24” alternates between political assassination and nuclear terror plots, but even I didn’t expect the script to be flipped THIS quickly.

It appears as if CTU’s best shot of getting at that uranium was Renee Walker, who’d (conveniently) been undercover with the Russians seven years earlier.

Look, I get it. With her blank stare (which only disappeared when she first saw Jack), curt manner and her willingness to take on an insane mission, Renee is the new Jack. How much is she the new Jack? In the season 2 premiere, Jack was brought back to go undercover and ended up chopping off a dead guy’s head with an axe to convince a criminal he was legit. (Sound vaguely familiar?) On top of that, Jack feels protective and guilty because he feels like he helped make Renee this way.

Like I said, I get it – and I like it! I don’t even mind that they’re recycling imagery from earlier seasons. I wasn’t a huge Renee fan early last season, but Bats--- Crazy Renee kicks ass! (And is pretty hot!) She’ll flirt with you and make you think that she’s going to take your tracking bracelet off before she slices your hand off. (Ooh, unpredictable!)

So what’d you think of this episode? Doesn’t CTU do any sort of background check on prospective employees? Will President Taylor be given something to do at any point this season? Finally, oh yeah, WHY DID RENEE SLICE THAT RUSSIAN GUY’S HAND OFF?!

24: New Jack City

For a while now, this show’s alternate title really could’ve been, “Same S---, Different Day” — and we longtime fans of the show are actually ok with that.

The fact that “24” is closer to its end than its beginning is no secret. In eight seasons, the show has seemingly alternated between nuclear/bioweapon and political assassination plots with varying degrees of success, and put its hero in almost every conceivable impossible situation (before coming up with a way for the hero to triumph).

Sure, the setting has changed the last few years (Washington D.C. last season, New York City this year), but the circumstances are the same – there’s some sort of serious threat to our country and Jack Bauer is the only man who REALLY knows what the hell is going on.

Of course, what makes for a successful season of “24” these days are fast-paced plots that don’t insult our intelligence and engaging new characters/actors slotted into the familiar roles (like “knucklehead boss”, “Jack Jr.”, and the “two CTU employees who you will go back and forth on when deciding if they’re a mole.)

What the latest season of “24” also appears to have is a lighter sense of self-awareness.

My favorite moment of the two-night, four-hour premiere (other than Jack burying that axe into that unfortunate Russian henchman’s stomach) was CTU New York techie Arlo asking aloud “Who’s Jack Bauer?” only to have his colleagues simultaneously turn their heads and look his way in disbelief. Even the characters on this show (besides Arlo) know that Jack is the man!

Since last season dealt largely with a bioweapon threat, the show was due for a good old-fashioned assassination plot. It appears a group of Russians — led (so far) by a creep named Davros (played by Doug Hutchison of “The Green Mile”, who specializes in playing creeps) — is intent on taking out Omar Hassan, the charismatic president of the fictional Republic of Kamistan. (It seems the made-up people of Kamistan are easily swayed.)

Hassan (Anil Kapoor, my favorite thing in “Slumdog Millionaire”) is in New York to negotiate a nuclear disarmament deal with President Taylor (Cherry Jones).

Jack learns of the assassination plot from Victor Aruz (Benito Martinez of “The Shield”), a former scumbag informant of Jack’s who had helped get the hitmen into the country. Unfortunately, Jack is retired and content to watch cartoons with his bear-obsessed granddaughter Teri.

Look, we all knew it was inevitable that Jack would jump back into the fray (otherwise, the title for this season would’ve been “2”), but I actually think the writers (and Sutherland) did a nice job of conveying that Jack REALLY didn’t want to get involved this time and would’ve been content to live in L.A. with his daughter Kim, little Teri and the dude from “The Vampire Diaries.” The show also used the often-embattled Kim character perfectly – Elisha Cuthbert’s appearance was brief and it was Kim who firmly convinced her dad that the Hassan assassination plot was something he needed to see through to the end.

(It also appears as if Jack’s life-threatening exposure to last year’s bioweapon has mostly passed – from the way it was referenced in passing last night, it’s almost as if Jack had simply gotten over a REALLY bad cold.)

Fortunately, Jack is jumping back into a familiar world with very entertaining tweaks.

I mean, what kind of a world do we live in where Chloe struggles mightily to keep up with her CTU colleagues? Chloe’s mild social disorder has always been tolerated because she was the best at her job, so it’s interesting (and painful) to see her struggle at CTU New York. Happily, the character still has her in-your-face biting wit and she should settle back into a groove with Jack back in the building. Chloe is the only one who believed that CTU captured the traitor in Hassan’s inner circle a little too easily, and convinced Jack to follow through on the lead.

Chloe’s getting the hardest time from her new boss, Brian Hastings (Mykelti Williamson), who we know is a douche bag because he wears his Bluetooth earpiece even when he’s not on the phone. At first, I was disappointed that Hastings would simply be the latest idiot that never listens to Jack (which he is), but I’m also liking the micromanaging boss from hell tweak.

When Hastings sent Cole Ortiz/Jack Jr. (played by Freddie Prinze Jr.) to pick up Jack and his informant, Cole requested more men for the operation. Hastings didn’t listen and Cole’s helicopter got blown up and Jack’s informant got dead. Hastings bullied Cole to prevent him from reporting Hastings’ mistake, a conversation that Jack was fortunate enough to witness. Basically, Hastings was SO scared of looking bad in his bosses’ eyes that he allowed Jack to grab a weapon from the armory and explore Chloe’s hunch. Hastings isn’t just a moron – he’s an unbelievably vain moron.

Cole clearly looks up to Jack (think Chase or Mike Doyle from previous seasons) and is engaged to Dana Walsh (Katee Sackoff) a fellow CTU employee with a secret, scandalous (possibly redneck) past. She got a call from a man calling her a different name and threatening to ruin her new life. With everything else in the premiere, it’s too early for me to care what she’s hiding, since we just met Dana.

Over on the political side of things, President Taylor’s (weak) husband Henry is out of the picture, but right-hand man Ethan Kanin (apparently suffering from some sort of serious disease he’s concealing from the president) is still her right-hand man. I also like Chris Diamantopoulus as new Chief of Staff Rob Weiss, who aggressively (and correctly) disagreed with President Taylor’s decision to keep Hassan in the dark about the assassination plot.

However, I’m most interested in the Omar Hassan character, who appears to be a bizarro version of David Palmer (in a good way). Usually, the foreign heads of state on this show are not portrayed very flatteringly, but Hassan (so far) has been positioned as an earnest, charming and able leader who genuinely wants peace.

And, like Palmer, Hassan needs to keep an eye on those closest to him. He has a seemingly venomous wife (not quite as aggressively evil as Sherri Palmer) who only holds his hand in public and a younger brother who turned out to be the one that was REALLY plotting with the assassins. (I believed that it was the blonde journalist until they caught her WAY too easily.) I should’ve seen it coming – Farhad Hassan openly disapproves of Omar’s peacekeeping efforts with the U.S. and his “relationship” with the journalist. Methinks he’s just jealous of Omar’s hair.

So what’d you think of this episode? Did anyone else get flashes of Jack shooting Christopher Henderson’s wife in the knee a few years ago when Davros shot that Noo Yawk cop’s wife in the leg to get him to switch shifts and allow Davros on the Hassan security detail at the United Nations? What do you think Dana’s secret is? Finally, how do you think Renee Walker (she was in the previews for Monday night’s episode) will figure into this season’s storyline?

NFL Playoffs Divisional Round Picks

Wild Card Weekend got off to a slow start, but ended with a hell of a game!

I have a better feeling that the Divisional Round of this year’s playoffs will deliver closer and more competitive games.

Of course, the downside of that is that I have no idea who’s going to win any of these contests. I broke even last week (2-2) – let’s see what I can do this week.

ARIZONA @ NEW ORLEANS
I like the Saints for a combination of reasons. There appears to be a weird sentiment out there that the Saints peaked in their Monday Night win over New England and that they’re done. (I think they have a little something saved for those people). On top of that, Kurt Warner (who had more TD passes than incompletions last week) can’t possibly play that well again (right?!) Everyone’s expecting a total shootout, so watch the Saints win this one 17-10.

BALTIMORE @ INDIANAPOLIS
The Ravens looked great in New England last week, and they’re a trendy pick going up against the Colts, who haven’t played a real game in almost a month. I believe the Colts will have prepared extra hard in their down time (to get their timing and rhythm back on track) and I actually believe they’ll blow Baltimore out.

DALLAS @ MINNESOTA
Ok, I give in. The Cowboys are good (damn good!) Couple that with the fact that the Vikings haven’t beaten anybody good this year (except for the Packers when they had no offensive line) and all the ingredients are in place for Brett Favre and the rest of his team making their fans go home very angry.

N.Y. JETS @ SAN DIEGO
I realize there’s no logical reason for me to pick the Jets. I’ll admit it – I’m mostly in love with the idea of the Jets and the Colts facing off in the playoffs and New York making Indy pay for allowing them to waltz into the postseason. My major problem with Indy wasn’t that they decided to rest their players – it was that they gave up and lied down for a potential playoff opponent. (If there’s a football God out there, he will smite down the Colts.)

Jersey Shore: Something to Stalk About

That was a LOT of “Jersey Shore” to digest!

I actually wasn’t aware that we’d be getting two hours worth of Seaside Heights shenanigans Thursday night until the second episode started at 11 p.m. in place of “Jersey Shore: After Hours.”

I’m not complaining, (two episodes of “Jersey Shore” are better than one) but I thought it was interesting that this super-sized episode featured the cast during, arguably, their darkest hours.

The main attraction coming into this episode appeared to be the cast’s trip to Atlantic City (a trip that turned out to be mostly a bust, except for Snooki building a bubble bath fort while her roommates napped), but first we had a bit of residual Ronnie/Sammi drama to settle.

Sammi finally seemed to realize that the “shove” Ronnie gave her during the boardwalk showdown with that belligerent old couple (they were “like 30”!) was nothing and the two presented a united front as they confronted their housemates. Snooki had told Rommi that “everybody in the house” was annoyed by the way Ronnie and Sammi isolated each other.

Since this confrontation took about 15 minutes and was incredibly tedious, I’ll skip over the details. The highlights (other than a sleepy cameo from J-Woww) included Snooki telling the camera that Sammi could be a real bitch sometimes, without even realizing it. (So true!) I just don’t get what was so difficult to understand – Snooki simply wanted EVERYONE in the house to spend time together because their time at the shore was winding down. Rommi (mostly Sammi) took this as a personal attack on their relationship for some reason.

Whatever. All I know is that Snooki was Thursday night’s MVP (an award that usually goes to The Situation and Pauly D). Although, she was cruelly insulted by The Situation (more on that in a bit), embarrassed at Karma (without realizing it, she made out with a guy who had a girlfriend), and insulted in the street (some haters were yelling about her corset looking like a Halloween costume), I actually think it was a good week for Snooki.

I can’t decide if my favorite line of hers was “I’m not trashy – unless I drink too much” or “I f---ing like save animals – that’s what I do!” On top of that, she found love(?) in the form of Keith, an Irish farm worker/cowboy who was determined to not give the camera a good look at his face. More importantly, no one hit her in the face this time.

At least not literally. I suppose you could argue Mike’s fat joke (“You already have a couple of rolls”) was more painful than the punch in the face, but I’m still thinking the punch in the face hurt more.

If there was an overriding theme to last night’s two episodes, it seemed to be everyone in the house (except for loyal grenade-taker Pauly D) slowly realizing that The Situation is kind of a horrible human being. (Except for his cooking.)

In just a space of two hours, The Situation alienated Snooki with the fat joke (they were going back and forth, and it just went too far), Vinny (who The Situation appears to view as an upstart challenger to his imaginary position as king), Ronnie and Sammi (will this season end with The Situation admitting that losing Sammi hurt him a LOT more than he lets on?) and J-Woww.

J-Woww (who I was surprised to learn is still apparently in a relationship with her downer of a boyfriend Tom) had gotten a bit too drunk at an Atlantic City club and asked The Situation to take her home. Unfortunately, J-Woww didn’t know that when The Situation is trying to hook up with someone, it wouldn’t matter if someone was lying in a ditch dying – it’s a “Do Not Bother Me” zone. Not only that, but The Situation had J-Woww kicked out of the club, which lead to her punching him in the face when he returned to the hotel room, which lead to the appearance of MTV’s security guys. (It’s always a nice little jolt to see them spring out from nowhere.)

Eventually, Mike (somewhat) made up with Snooki and J-Woww, but I found his intervention with Ronnie and Vinny interesting. Ronnie was telling Mike that he shouldn’t treat his friends like this, and The Situation responded that none of the people in the house were his friends, which appears to go against the “we are family” guido mantra someone like Snooki seems to live by. Not to go all “Frasier” on you, but I just feel like The Situation is an intensely insecure person who is terrified of making any sort of personal connections. This is obviously true of his relationships with women, but it also appears to be the case with other guys.

At least he has Pauly D to pal around with and to assist him in pulling off pranks. I LOVED that Snooki was mostly annoyed that the two wasted a couple of perfectly good pickles. I also took note of Mike’s recipe for the "haterade" he and Pauly slipped under Vinny’s bed.

Pauly D was probably happy to have something to do so that he could avoid talking to his stalker. I said earlier that Snooki was the episode’s MVP, but Pauly D came on strong at the end.

He’d met Danielle, an Israeli girl who appears to really want a serious relationship, in Seaside Heights. Later, Pauly was serving as wingman for Vinny when Danielle started popping up at random intervals of their evening together. (My favorite was her apparating when they were at the tattoo station.) Eventually, Vinny delivered a sensational monologue over the phone (Sammi’s “You go Pauly” was great!) and the two appeared to shake hands and break up – before they left together arm in arm. More of this (crazy!) relationship please.

Of course, the episode ended on a darker note with Ronnie being arrested for aggravated assault after absolutely laying out a guy who was harassing the group. This column doesn’t (usually) condone violence, but am I the only one who felt bad for Ronnie when the police took him away and he insisted (in a curiously small voice) that it was self-defense.

So what’d you think of this episode? Is it just me or did Vinny become (a little) interesting in a hurry? (His Mike impersonation – and his mistake- were priceless.) Could THIS be the end of Rommi? Finally, will Snooki and Cowboy Keith ride off into the sunset together?

Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: The Bald and the Beautiful

Figures

A week after I praised this show for (mostly) going back to its serious drama roots, the show reverts back to the more shallow and lackadaisical approach to storytelling that has become the norm over the last few seasons.

Look, I’m not a viewer that needs to have EVERYTHING spelled out for me. For example, as jarring as it was to learn that all of a sudden Christian and Kimber were married in last week’s season premiere, I can accept that they had reconciled and were in a relationship, so I didn’t need to actually see the nuptials.

But the latest episode, “Willow Banks”, appeared to have absolutely nothing to do with last week’s installment. Christian went from being high on life (redecorating his office and trying to cheer up his friend by buying that award) to down in the dumps and had decided to let himself go. (Hopefully they didn’t toss out Kelly Carlson’s fat suit from last season.)

It’s fine if the show wants to jump around a bit (after all, there are only SO many episodes left until the show is over), but when I sit down to watch “Nip/Tuck” I shouldn’t be asking myself, “Wait a minute, did I miss an episode?”

Anyway, as Christian was on his inexplicable path to (yet again) sabotage his relationship with Kimber (why did he decide to let himself go now?) he met the episode’s titular patient. Willow (Mini Anden) was a beautiful model who wanted to make herself uglier because she was tired of people never seeing the real her.

Sorry, but I almost hurt myself rolling my eyes. I wasn’t even that annoyed by her annoying request (like Christian was). I was rolling my eyes at the fact that anyone who’s ever watched the show (and most people who haven’t) could see EXACTLY where this was going.

First, Christian would hook up with the patient (they bonded in their uglification over some Kentucky Fried Chicken), the patient would be revealed to be a nutjob (she shaved her head and crashed her car into a wall at 110 miles per hour) only to decide that she wanted to be beautiful after all. Yawn.

And it’s a damn shame too because Julian McMahon (with his gray stubble that Christian would’ve almost certainly dyed) had fun being a slow and Anden delivered a very effective performance.

At least the writers were a little more subtle in showing us how Sean’s patient mirrored his life. Sean was treating a man who’d gone into a coma at age 18 and woken up 22 years later. He looked 40, but felt 18 so he wanted to look like a teen again.

Sure, the scenes with Sean taking the guy clubbing were amusing, but I was more interested in the idea of Sean himself waking up in his 40’s and realizing that it was time to start living his own life. The fact that coma guy ended up slipping back into a long slumber was probably an even bigger wake-up call.

I’m considerably less interested in the Sean-Kimber Affair(: the Sequel), which is a shame because, again, the actors are doing a good job. (In this case Dylan Walsh and, especially, Kelly Carlson are making me care based solely on the strength of their performances.)

But honestly, Sean sleeping with Kimber? Well, Christian slept with Julia, so I guess they’re even in terms of sleeping with each other’s wives. Still, the bottom line is that this move had little impact because almost every character on this show has slept with each other. (Anyone waiting on a Kimber-Liz hookup?)

So what’d you think of this episode? Where the heck are Matt and Julia? (I’ve actually been pretty ok with not having them around.) Finally, feel free to tell me if I’m way off base and that this was an excellent episode.

American Idol: Georgia Peaches

So remember how I sorta slammed Tuesday night’s show for giving us “good” singers who weren’t all that good, “bad singers” who weren’t that entertaining, and a guest judge who was a complete non-factor?

Well Wednesday’s 90-minute audition episode from Atlanta pretty much remedied all those problems. I’m thinking the shorter running time had something to do with the higher quality of the episode. (Although, the show still did waste WAY too much time with that tragically unfunny bit mocking Jesse Hamilton — who’d had three near death experiences — as well as pretty much everyone from the south.)

Then again, maybe Atlanta is just generally a more entertaining city than Boston. (Sure, I’m trying to start something!) Either way, Wednesday’s episodes gave me the first pair of contestants I could easily see in, at least, the semifinals and maybe even on the big stage. (As an extra-added bonus, they were both thoroughly likable.)

I’m loathed to agree with Randy Jackson, but the dawg had it right when he said professional church singer Jermaine Sellers’ audition (pictured, left) was the best vocal we’ve heard this year. (He needs to slow down on those runs, though.) He brought a nice R&B flavor to “What if God was One of Us” (artistry!) and, more importantly, the guy had genuine star quality. I’d be shocked if we don’t hear from this guy again.

Meanwhile, my favorite thing about Mallory Haley’s audition (pictured, right) was that she walked in with absolutely no fanfare or sob story, stepped on the mini-dance floor the producers have set up this season and delivered a strong, confident version of “Piece of My Heart.” Her charisma may not be as overt as Jermaine’s, but her assured “I’m a star” attitude (without coming off as cocky) is just as appealing.

I wasn’t as excited about the evening’s other stars. For example, I think it’s cool that Tennessean Vanessa Wolfe likes to bridge jump and that she’ll get to ride on a plane for the first time, but it’s hard to get excited about someone who probably has no chance of sniffing the semifinals. (Then again, she has a memorable personality, which can be just as important on this show.) Keia Johnson delivered a confident version of “My Heart Will Go On”, but (like Nina Garcia) I have to question her taste level. (Can you tell I’m ready for “Project Runway” tonight?) I mean, THAT song? Really?! Then there’s Bryan Walker, the singing policeman, who is a nice guy, but much less interesting than the “Cop Rock” images that flood my mind when I hear “singing policeman.”

There were other people I liked (like, um, girl who sang “The Climb” who got lumped into a three-person montage), but there was no time to show more because we had to get in three offensive and unfunny dramatizations making fun of hicks.

The show seemed to set up Antonio “Skii Bo Ski” Wheeler and “Guitar Girl” for ridicule, but (holy Norman Gentle and Tatyana del Toro!) these two could actually sing a little. Well, Skii Bo Ski more so than guitar girl. In fact, I give Skii Bo Ski (or, as his discount shirt read: Ski Bo Ski) the general edge because his character is actually pretty entertaining, while “Guitar Girl” is not interesting at all beyond the fact that she’s dressed as a guitar. (Which isn’t that interesting to begin with.) Or, as Mary J. Blige put it, “I don’t get.it.”

Out of the delusional losers, the other one who really stood out was Stereotypical Angry Black guy who was determined as hell to perform “Kiss from a Rose” for the judges. (It was actually the most unpleasant version of “Kiss from a Rose” I’ve ever heard.) Hopefully, those security guys who escorted him out of the arena walked him right into an anger management class.

Fortunately, the evening ended on a high note. (Not literally.) Sensing they had another potential William Hung on their hands, the producers held off on introducing us to Gen. Larry Pratt and “Pants on the Ground” until the very end. Yes, this was very funny, and YES, I agree with the message (people should wear pants that fit, damnit!) but the whole thing felt a mite too manufactured. It’s like they were trying to and expecting this thing to become a viral hit (which it has) rather than letting it happen naturally.

So what’d you think of this episode? Where did Simon disappear to toward the end of the episode? Did you enjoy Mary J. Blige or did you think her laughing in some contestants’ face was rude? (Sorry, but some people deserve to be laughed at.) Finally, can YOU see any of these people in the finals?

Heroes: The Great Escape

“I’ve had just about enough of your nonsense, Hiro.”

“Listen, the Sylar thing was a TERRIBLE idea – we all admit that.”

These are both quotes from the latest episode of “Heroes.” More importantly, they appear to be evidence that the show has finally become self-aware enough to acknowledge how downright brutal it has been at times.

Either way, “Close to You” was one of the funniest (on purpose) and downright enjoyable episodes of “Heroes” in a long time. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – this show would be served well if it came to grips with its own awfulness and embraced it.

Take the “Great Asylum Escape”, for instance. Not only is this entire sequence of events entirely unnecessary, but we’ve already seen how it turns out. (We’d glimpsed Hiro, Ando and Mohinder running through the swamp.) So why not have a little fun with it.

The episode’s MVP is undoubtedly James Kyson Lee simply for the line “I work in a cart factory” as a way of explaining why he was hanging around the cart with all the meds. Hiro and Ando had deduced that Mohinder was being drugged, which was preventing him from using his super strength to bust out. Since this show appears to now (officially) be a comedy, Ando had swallowed Mohinder’s drugs by accident and was tripping during the escape. Still, he was able to use his “red lightning” to bust open the door and, later, to fix Hiro’s pop culture-scrambled brain. (I guess it’s too much to hope that the show will make up its mind as to what Ando’s power is – is he an amplifier or does he blast people? Wait, I know – whichever’s more convenient!)

In fact, this storyline was such a triumph that I even found Mohinder bearable, although that’s probably because he was standing in for the audience (he was the one who complained about Hiro’s nonsense). The trio teleported out of Florida and into HRG’s living room for a perfectly-timed cock block.

Unfortunately, this brings us to the least successful part of the episode.

Now, I’ve said time and time again that Jack Coleman is the best actor on this show, but last night he was just bad. Maybe it’s because this feels like the 100th time he’s had to play some variation of “I’m so obsessed with my job that I’ve alienated all those around me”, but I found him to be distractingly over-the-top in this episode.

He’s still obsessed with finding the carnival and he enlisted Parkman’s help in tracking down Vanessa (Kate Vernon of “Battlestar Galactica), Samuel’s love. Parkman had settled into a comfortable life of watching Pixar movies (“Ratatouille” shout out) with his kid and the wife who barely seems like she can stand him.

As you can imagine, it didn’t take much for Bennett to convince Parkman to come along on a side mission. They got SOME info from Vanessa (she’d grown up with Samuel in the house he sinkholed into the ground and I’m assuming the cello Samuel gave Emma belonged to Vanessa) before Samuel and his replicating henchman showed up and whisked her away. For some reason, Vanessa was less than charmed by Samuel’s kidnapping, but he still thinks he can win her over. (In a related story, I’m doubtful he can win me over this season.)

Meanwhile, Parkman told Bennett to go home and try being a dad. He stopped by Claire’s dorm to make up with her and went home to make out with Lauren right before the Three Amigos popped in. At least it’s nice to see some of our core characters getting together again.

In the episode’s other storyline, the new best actor on the show (Milo Ventimiglia) had to deal with some hideously awesome dialogue. It looks like Peter will soon be drawn into the carnival. The compass tattoo appeared on his arm after Lydia once again expressed her desire for new leadership. Peter was later drawn to Emma after she played her magic cello and brought him to her apartment. (Booty call?)

While in Emma’s apartment (which magically turned into Peter’s apartment because Angela showed up a few moments later), Ventimiglia had to say things like, “My friend almost died because of a compass Just. Like. This.” Actually, my personal favorite was later on – after borrowing his mom’s power and seeing that Emma’s cello playing in the hall of mirrors was going to lead to about a 1,000 deaths – he went over to Emma’s place, said “Hi” and smashed the cello. (Just terrific.)

So now it appears like Emma will hook up again with Samuel in the carnival and that he’ll hook her up with another cello so that he can, um, kill 1,000 people. (If I actually cared about what Samuel was doing, I’d be even more frustrated.) Meanwhile, it appears Peter will be recruited to lead the carnie folk, while Sylar may be positioned as the only person who can save the world.

Whether or not you agree with the direction of the show at least this season is going…somewhere. Hopefully, there’ll be more fun episodes like this one along the way.

So what’d you think of this episode? Is Hiro’s brain tumor supposed to be gone? (I didn’t totally get that impression.) Is Matt Parkman a coward? (“Coward” is strong – I think of him more as wimpy than cowardly.) Finally, where the heck is Tracy? (Not that I miss her or anything – just asking.)

American Idol: Boston V Party

I’d hate to start my first recap of the ninth season of “American Idol” by talking about the judges because one of the worst trends on this show in recent years has been the increased belief by Randy, Paula, Kara and Simon that this show is all about them.

But this show is REALLY going to miss Simon.

The show opened with a montage showing some of last season’s country-dividing Kris Allen/Adam Lambert showdown, but mostly served as a recap for all the upheaval at the judges’ table.

More importantly, the highlight of last night’s episode was, arguably, a quick throwaway moment by Simon. In trying to discourage anime-loving nutjob Mere Doyle that she should give up her singing aspirations, he said “I would love to fly to the moon, but I can’t (perfectly-timed pause). Actually, I could.”

Of course, the problem with the previous paragraph is that my favorite moment of the evening had NOTHING to do with amazing (or amazingly bad) singing.

I don’t even feel like I can blame the editors on this one – I didn’t see a single person in the Boston auditions that would make me want to get off my couch, walk over to the basket that holds my cell phone, and vote.

That’s not to say I couldn’t see any of the Boston auditioners cracking the final group. I’m actually pretty good about separating my personal feelings from what is actually happening.

For example, I wasn’t nearly as wowed by Ashley Rodriguez as the judges were. I thought her take on “If I Ain’t Got You” paled in comparison to the original (as pretty much every take of that song does) and I found her completely generic. However, I can objectively see that she is a pretty (and VERY telegenic) girl who made Kara come the closest to whipping out her go-to “package artist” comment.

In the men’s division, it’s not too difficult to imagine Justin Williams cracking the top 12 (or 10 or whatever it ends up being). He’s got the looks, the sob story (he’s beaten cancer) and the voice, even if his take on “Feeling Good” was WAY overdone and slightly wimpy, in my opinion.

Speaking of sob stories, too many of last night’s hopefuls were overshadowed by their pre-performance packages. Then again, seeing as how almost all of them made it through to Hollywood, maybe it’s a good thing that they had compelling stories to cover up their suspect singing.

I’m thinking about Maddy Curtis (whose family adopted several kids with Down Syndrome), Tyler Grady (who broke both wrists falling out of a tree) and Katie Stevens (whose grandmother has Alzheimer’s). Maddy is good, but a little green, Tyler was surprisingly good, but Kara seemed more preoccupied with his tight jeans, and Katie – well, ok, Katie was actually pretty good singing “At Last” and I’ll be damned if I didn’t get emotional like Seacrest when she called her grandma to tell her the good news.

In the absence of truly spectacular singers, the judges also seemed to let through people just because they liked them. I’m thinking about “Sopranos” reject Amadeo Diricco (his personality really IS better than his voice) and Mike Davis (brave captain of the Codzilla saddled with a forgettable name and a forgettable performance).

Then again, a few of my favorite singers from Tuesday night didn’t exactly set the world on fire vocally. The judges bagged on Bosa Mora and Leah Laurenti for their lack of confidence, but I thought they were both kind of terrific when they were singing. (Afterwards, when they were talking – not as much.) Of course, my objective eye tells me that it’s not a good thing that Bosa was completely overshadowed by his mom’s bright orange head wrap and that Leah simply doesn’t possess the “package artist” look someone like Ashley does. Then there was Jennifer Hirsch, who I have no idea whether she’s any good or not, but who I REALLY dug simply because she chose to audition with a jazzy version of “Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead.”

Unfortunately, even the delusional losers weren’t particularly inspired.

For example, the segment featuring Janet McNamara, the season’s first person to audition, played more like a commercial for the “American Idol” videogame. In a related story, apparently only Simon is allowed to talk in the videogame. (Maybe the videogame is better.) Janet called Kara “Paula” and was promptly sent on her way (hopefully to put on a shirt that covers her entire stomach).

I also would’ve found the Andrew Fenlon experience more entertaining if I weren’t thoroughly convinced that the guy was some sort of actor pretending to be a freak. (Or a freak knowingly playing up his freakiness for the camera.) The guy — who looked like Superman as a serial killer (or Michael Ian Black) — was really annoyed about having to wait very long and came in to audition with a really bad attitude. Apparently, Andrew’s entire purpose was to have someone that Kara could tell off (Bikini Girl 2), although her reprimand was more confusing (“You need a spanking”) than effective.

So what’d you think of this episode? What WAS Tyler doing up in that tree? Did you see a potential “Idol” in Boston? Finally, what’d you think of Victoria Beckham (pictured, right)? (She was ok – she didn’t say anything offensively stupid, but she didn’t really add anything either. Having her stand up to Simon late into the second hour was too little too late.)