American Idol: Let's Put a "Smile" On That Face

Being eliminated this week must feel a bit like coming in fourth at the Olympics or (to keep things more “Idol”-centric) finishing 11th and missing out on the “Idols Live Tour.”

Simon even helpfully reiterated how important this week was at the top of the show.

That’s why it was frustrating to see one low-energy performance after another Tuesday night. Don’t get me wrong, there were still a couple of excellent performances to be found (and the ladies are still light years ahead of the guys), but I was disheartened to see so many of the girls slip into slow-tempo ballad mode as a fallback.

Thank goodness for Crystal Bowersox.

Let’s talk about her, as well as who’s in, who’s out, and who’s in between:

WHO’S IN

I loved Crystal Bowersox’s performance for no other reason that she snapped me awake after a seemingly-endless run of “turn down the lights and take things slow” performances.

Fortunately, there’s much more to praise about her dynamic performance of “Give Me One Reason.” For one, her confidence appears to be at an all-time high (check out the way she casually sat herself down during the judges’ critiques). On top of that, her confidence seems to be affecting her singing in a great way (she delivered her strongest vocal Tuesday) and is so infectious that the audience can’t help but be involved (clapping along from the beginning). Simply put, she looked like a star and made most of the other girls look like they aren’t even in the same class.

I say “most of the other” because I’m still loving me some Siobhan Magnus.

I honestly don’t know what Simon is smoking, but I would ask him for some if I didn’t know it had the unfortunate side effect of killing my hearing. I mean, I honestly wondered what the guy was listening to when he trashed Siobhan’s performance of “House of the Rising Sun.” His biggest gripe appeared to be the fact that there was no “Think”-like glory note. (Is she supposed to do that every week?) If Simon is in search of a moment, I’d like to point him towards the fantastic, pitch-perfect acapella intro to Siobhan’s performance – that’s as good as it’s gotten this year!

I SHOULD SAY THEY’RE IN TROUBLE, BUT THEY’RE NOT

You’re right. Lily Scott is probably going to the top 12. However, I’d bet you $1,000 that Crystal and Siobhan are definitely in. When I asked myself if I would include Lily in that bet, I paused – that means no.

Again, I like Lily, but I find she’s been lacking in the voice department during the entire semifinal rounds and (not to “Andrew Garcia”) has never lived up to her work during Hollywood Week. Still, she’s quirky, she’s distinct, and she’s good (and she was on "I Fall to Pieces") – I just don’t think she deserves to be the slam dunk she apparently is.

I’d also have to include Lacey Brown in this category. Yes, her take on “The Story” was OBVIOUSLY her best semifinal performance to date, but, given how terrible she’s been the last two weeks, that’s not exactly saying much. As for “The Story”, specifically, the performance was flat in that it didn’t really go anywhere – it started low-key and stayed there. (My girlfriend Erica reports “The Story” is actually incredibly dynamic and Lacey blew her chance to rock out.)

I understand that there’s something to be said for a contestant trending in a positive direction. I just don’t think being awful, awful, decent in three semifinal performances should be enough to get Lacey (looking more like Sharon Osbourne every week) into the top 12 – yet, it appears that’s exactly what’s going to happen.

I SHOULDN’T SAY THEY’RE IN TROUBLE, BUT THEY ARE

And since it appears that past work doesn’t count for anything, I have to sadly put Katelyn Epperly in this category.

I have no attachment to Carole King (sorry), so I didn’t actually think she did a bad job on “I Feel the Earth Move”, even if Simon was completely correct (thanks for getting reacquainted with sanity) that it reeked of some bar singer fulfilling a patron’s request. Honestly, the most disappointing part of Katelyn’s segment was that the judges gave no indication that this is a singer worth sending to the finals (which she is). Then I remembered that they were lukewarm on her terrific take on “The Scientist” (which was MUCH less corny than her keyboard-rocking performance this time out) and blew a raspberry.

Similarly, I didn’t think Didi Benami was all that awful during “Lean on Me” last week, so I wasn’t as blown away by her “Rhiannon” cover this week. I can objectively see that the song was a much better fit, but to me Didi didn’t perform it significantly better. That being said, she DID look a lot more comfortable and confident on stage with her guitar, earning her best reviews and (hopefully) earning a ticket to the top 12.

I’D PACK MY SUITCASE IF I WERE YOU

What more can I say about poor Paige Miles (pictured, right)? Stick a fork in her (one of those big BBQ forks) – she’s done.

When I first saw her in top 24 week, I thought she was strong on her song’s punchier moments and weak on the subtler, lower parts. So what does she do? She picks a song – Charlie Chaplin’s “Smile” – that highlights the absolute worse parts of her voice. Everything about this (including the calypso arrangement Randy pointed out) was terrible, so let’s move on, ok?

My other pick to go home is Katie Stevens. Yes, she appears to be a favorite of the judges (they’re tripping over themselves to give Katie advice and have confused the girl), but she’s delivered three consecutive uninspired and awkward performances (kinda like Paige). America can deal with awfulness (hi Lacey), but sustained mediocrity is usually a ticket home.

Katie actually incorporated all the feedback the judges gave her and picked “Breakway” a young song for a big voiced singer. The only problem is that she doesn’t have the chops to sing a Kelly Clarkson song and, the part of the performance that was supposed to soar, ended up being the most boring, dreary parts of the show that didn’t involve “Smile”-ing.

Katie and Paige should and will go home. Right America? Please don’t make me lose faith in this country. (Oy, I have a bad feeling about this.)

So what’d you think of this episode? Was Lacey Brown actually good or just good compared to what she’s done before? Is Kara now the best judge? (I hope I didn’t jinx her – especially since Casey James is performing tonight.) Finally, which two girls will and should go home?

24: Momma Said Blow You Up

There are two keys to a good plot twist.

The first is that it (obviously) has to be somewhat of a surprise. The second key — which is actually more important, in my opinion — is that it has to make SO much sense that, in retrospect, you feel like an absolute idiot for not figuring out.

By this standard, I believe “24” pulled off a neat little twist when it was revealed that Tarin — the wrongfully-accused bodyguard of President Hassan’s who we’d last seen getting horizontal in a split screen with Hassan’s daughter Kayla — is, in fact, a mole.

Now maybe you weren’t quite as surprised as I was because you probably haven’t been semi-obsessed with the idea that Kayla was the mole (like I have). I also think T.J. Ramini has been delivering an understated, charismatic performance (it’s almost as if he’s picked up all the charisma Anil Kapoor has dropped) as Tarin. He’s been so good, that it never even occurred to me that he could really be a bad guy.

Either way, the revelation that Kayla has been sleeping with the enemy (granted, they haven’t been doing much sleeping) was one of the season’s most effective cliffhangers. Not too bad for a family/storyline that was getting dangerously close to becoming boring. (They’d been firmly planted in “meh” territory until last night.) Now all we need to do is figure out a way to make Dalia Hassan the president of Kamistan — she appears to have more balls than her embattled husband.

The episode ended with Kayla learning about her baddie boyfriend from her parents, and locking herself in the bathroom. If she’s smart, she’ll take a 45-minute shower to stall and allow CTU to get to their hotel — and if I were Tarin, I wouldn’t really think it was all that unusual for my girlfriend to take a 45-minute shower.

Of course, CTU was only able to get the Tarin info after Jack used a hell of a bluff on would-be suicide bomber Marcos.

If you recall, Marcos had barricaded himself in a hyperbaric chamber and set about manually arming the bomb so he wouldn’t be captured alive. The writers came up with a nifty way of building tension so that the entire episode didn’t consist of Jack pacing angrily outside the chamber. Apparently, Marcos needed to rig four circuits to be able to blow himself up. All I knew is that every time one of those little lights came on, it was bad.

CTU learned that Marcos was American and Hastings sent Cole (welcome back!) to pick up Marcos’ mother, who was about to flee the city at her son’s urging. The scene between the mother and her angry son (whose father was a professor with anti-American ideas who’d committed suicide) was effective, and I thought she was actually going to be able to talk him out of there.

(By the way, I thought this episode — with Marcos in one place and the people he was talking to in another — made excellent use of its split-screen gimmick.)

But then I remembered that this is “24” and Jack Bauer is the hero (damnit!)

Just as Marcos was ready to blow himself up (and CTU had blocked the bad guys from being able to monitor their conversation) Jack went right up to the chamber and informed Marcos that, if he killed himself, he’d make sure that his mom would be killed in the aftermath of the nuclear attack CTU is trying to prevent.

Kiefer Sutherland’s acting was characteristically hardcore, but I didn’t buy this threat for one second. One reason for that is that it’s insane, but another is that Jack appears to be in a better place in his life, so I never actually believed he’d ever follow through on something like that. (Now Jack from some earlier seasons is another story.) I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, it’s just the way things are.

Of course, it doesn’t really matter if I believe it because Marcos fell for it. Unfortunately, the bad guys armed the bomb themselves and Marcos went boom boom before Jack could disarm the bomb. Also, can we all agree that Jack pushing Marcos into the hyperbaric chamber right as he was exploding was simultaneously awesome, hilarious and cold?

Finally, we have to talk about the latest adventures from Dana and Cole. (I’m contractually obligated, sorry.)

Hastings gave them an appropriately harsh reaming when they finally decided to show up. (You can tell he was angry because he’d removed his Bluetooth to yell at them.) He demoted Dana and ordered her to work under Chloe. (At least Arlo hit on Dana again — that must’ve given her a nice sense of normalcy.)

Things seemed to be on the right track (meaning away from the redneck ex) until Dana received a call from Kevin’s parole officer. Apparently, the guy had become fond of Kevin and he knew that Kevin had made a bunch of calls to Dana’s cell, so he demanded to see her.

(Sigh) What can I say? The fact that the parole officer is played by Stephen Root (“Newsradio”, “Office Space”) is encouraging. However, this storyline makes me feel like Al Pacino in “The Godfather Part III.”

Just when we think we’re out of this garbage storyline – the world’s most dogged parole officer shows up.

So what’d you think of this episode? Any chance Jack wasn’t bluffing about killing Marcos’ mama? Finally, what do you think is in store for next week? (Judging from the previews, it looks like we’re in line for a possible beheading and an attack on CTU.)

John's (and Erica's) 2010 Oscar Picks

There's a lot of buzz around this year's Academy Awards.


We've got 10 nominees for Best Picture for the first time in decades. We've got big hits (including the biggest hit of all time) in the running for the big prizes. We've got a pair of hosts (Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin) for the first time in recent history.


And now we've got official Oscar picks from me and a very special guest prognosticator! (That's gotta rank right up there with the stuff in the previous paragraph, right?)


It's Saturday night and we just finished watching "A Serious Man", bringing me up to a respectable 8 out of 10 Best Picture nominees watched. (I think Erica quickly got over the fact that it wasn't the one with Colin Firth.)


That's as far as I'm gonna get, so let's get on with the picks!


Best Picture

“Avatar”
“The Blind Side”
“District 9”
“An Education”
“The Hurt Locker”
“Inglourious Basterds”
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”
“A Serious Man”
“Up”
“Up in the Air”


John Thinks: "Hurt Locker" will win, "Inglourious Basterds" should win. I liked a lot of these movies (especially "Up in the Air" and "Avatar"), but none of them exhilarated me while also engaging me on an intellectual level the way "Basterds" did.


Erica Thinks: "Avatar" will win, "The Hurt Locker" should win.


Actor in a Leading Role

Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart”
George Clooney in “Up in the Air”
Colin Firth in “A Single Man”
Morgan Freeman in “Invictus”
Jeremy Renner in “The Hurt Locker”


John Thinks: Jeff Bridges will win, George Clooney should win. Bridges is the best thing about "Crazy Heart", but it feels like the reason he's going to win it's because it's "his turn", not necessarily because he's the best in this race. I think Renner was excellent, but I'll give Clooney the edge simply because I don't think he's getting the credit he deserves - he made it look easy.

Erica Thinks: Jeff Bridges will win, Jeremy Renner should win.

Actor in a Supporting Role

Matt Damon in “Invictus”
Woody Harrelson in “The Messenger”
Christopher Plummer in “The Last Station”
Stanley Tucci in “The Lovely Bones”
Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds”


John Thinks: Christoph Waltz will and should win. I said Waltz gave the best performance of any actor this year back when I reviewed the movie in September, and I haven't changed my mind.


Erica Thinks: Christoph Waltz will and should win. ("I felt like he was good in his monologues and his interactions with others - he was awesome. If he wasn't in the movie, it wouldn't have been as good.")

Actress in a Leading Role

Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side”
Helen Mirren in “The Last Station”
Carey Mulligan in “An Education”
Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”
Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia”


John Thinks: Meryl Streep will and should win. I realize Bullock is the favorite (and the "her turn" factor comes into play here too), but I'm tired (and I suspect members of the Academy are tired) of Streep's excellence being taken for granted.


Erica Thinks: Sandra Bullock will win, Meryl Streep should win.

Actress in a Supporting Role

Penélope Cruz in “Nine”
Vera Farmiga in “Up in the Air”
Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart”
Anna Kendrick in “Up in the Air”
Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”


John Thinks: Mo'Nique will win, Anna Kendrick should win. Nothing against Mo'Nique (I didn't get to see "Precious"), but Kendrick's performance was the most pleasant surprise of the year - besides Waltz.


Erica Thinks: Mo'Nique will and should win.

Animated Feature Film

“Coraline”
“Fantastic Mr. Fox”
“The Princess and the Frog”
“The Secret of Kells”
“Up”


John Thinks: "Up" will and should win. I can agree with those who say "Up" isn't Pixar's strongest effort, but it still earned its Best Picture nomination because it really is one of the 10 best movies of the year.


Erica Thinks: "Up" will and should win.

Art Direction

“Avatar”
“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus”
“Nine”
“Sherlock Holmes”
“The Young Victoria”


John Thinks: "Avatar" will and should win.


Erica Thinks: "Avatar" will win, "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus" should win. ("Because it's very Imaginarium-tive.")


Cinematography

“Avatar”
“Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince”
“The Hurt Locker”
“Inglourious Basterds”
“The White Ribbon”


John Thinks: "The Hurt Locker" will and should win. The look of "The Hurt Locker" is probably its most underrated aspect. (Did you know that it was directed by a woman?)


Erica Thinks: "The Hurt Locker" will and should win.

Costume Design

“Bright Star”
“Coco before Chanel”
“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus”
“Nine”
“The Young Victoria”


John Thinks: "Nine" will win, "The Young Victoria" should win. "Nine" costume designer is one of the few costume designers I've actually heard of, so I'll go with the past Oscar winner.


Erica Thinks: "The Young Victoria" will win, "Coco Before Chanel" should win. ("It must be about fashion, right? So if they got that part right, it should win.")

Directing

“Avatar” James Cameron
“The Hurt Locker” Kathryn Bigelow
“Inglourious Basterds” Quentin Tarantino
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels
“Up in the Air” Jason Reitman


John Thinks: Kathryn Bigelow will and should win. She succeeded where many others who've tried to tackle the Iraq War have failed by mostly eschewing politics and focusing on making a kickass action movie.


Erica Thinks: James Cameron will win, Quentin Tarantino should win.

Documentary (Feature)

“Burma VJ”
“The Cove”
“Food, Inc.”
“The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers”
“Which Way Home”


John Thinks: "The Cove" will, and should win. I don't get out to too many documentaries, so these will all be shots in the dark.


Erica Thinks: "Food Inc." will and should win.

Documentary (Short Subject)

“China’s Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province”
“The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner”
“The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant”
“Music by Prudence”
“Rabbit à la Berlin”


John Thinks: "Music by Prudence" will win, "Rabbit a la Berlin" should win. I don't really think "Rabbit a la Berlin" should win (I haven't seen any of these) - it was just the easiest one to type.


Erica Thinks: "The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant" will win, "The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner." ("Because we're never going to see another campaign again - it's the last one.)


Film Editing

“Avatar”
“District 9”
“The Hurt Locker”
“Inglourious Basterds”
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”


John Thinks: "Avatar" will win, "Inglourious Basterds" should win. Sally Menke ("Basterds") is one of the best editors in the business, and she deserves an Oscar one day.


Erica Thinks: "Inglourious Basterds" will and should win.

Foreign Language Film

“Ajami” Israel
“The Milk of Sorrow (La Teta Asustada)” Peru
“A Prophet (Un Prophète)” France
“The Secret in Their Eyes (El Secreto de Sus Ojos)” Argentina
“The White Ribbon (Das Weisse Band)” Germany


John Thinks: "The White Ribbon" will win, "A Prophet" should win. I hear "A Prophet" is amazing.


Erica Thinks: "The White Ribbon" will and should win. ("Because I saw it was nominated for another award.")

Makeup

“Il Divo”
“Star Trek”
“The Young Victoria”


John Thinks: "Star Trek" will and should win.


Erica Thinks: "Star Trek" will and should win. I guess those Romulan tattoos left an impression on both of us.


Music (Original Score)

“Avatar”
“Fantastic Mr. Fox”
“The Hurt Locker”
“Sherlock Holmes”
“Up”


John Thinks: "Up" will and should win. Michael Giacchino ("Lost") is a genius and he deserves an Oscar.


Erica Thinks: "Up" will and should win.

Music (Original Song)

“Almost There” from “The Princess and the Frog”
“Down in New Orleans” from “The Princess and the Frog”
“Loin de Paname” from “Paris 36”
“Take It All” from “Nine”
“The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” from “Crazy Heart”


John Thinks: "The Weary Kind" will and should win. Actually, I thought "Fallin' and Flying" AND "I Don't Know" were both better picks from "Crazy Heart", but "The Weary Kind" will win.


Erica Thinks: "The Weary Kind" will and should win.


Short Film (Animated)

“French Roast”
“Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty”
“The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte)”
“Logorama”
“A Matter of Loaf and Death”


John Thinks: "A Matter of Loaf and Death" will and should win. If there's one thing I like more than the Oscars, it's a cheesy pun.


Erica Thinks: "Logorama" will win, "A Matter of Loaf and Death" should win. ("I don't know.")

Short Film (Live Action)

“The Door”
“Instead of Abracadabra”
“Kavi”
“Miracle Fish”
“The New Tenants”

John Thinks: "Miracle Fish" will win, "Instead of Abacadabra" should win. "Miracle Fish" just came about at the right time - this Oscar should belong to "Instead of Abacadabra" but these things are SO political! (Obviously, I have no idea what I'm talking about.)

Erica Thinks: "The New Tenants" will win, "Kavi" should win.

Sound Editing

“Avatar”
“The Hurt Locker”
“Inglourious Basterds”
“Star Trek”
“Up”

John Thinks: "Avatar" will and should win.

Erica Thinks: "The Hurt Locker" will and should win.

Sound Mixing

“Avatar”
“The Hurt Locker”
“Inglourious Basterds”
“Star Trek”
“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”

John Thinks: "Avatar" will and should win. Ok, so this is the part where I usually make a joke about not knowing the difference between Sound Editing and Sound Mixing. This year, I actually went online and tried to learn what the difference is - and I still don't get it. I'm hopeless. Please help!

Erica Thinks: "Avatar" will win, "The Hurt Locker" should win.

Visual Effects

"Avatar"
"District 9"
"Star Trek"

John Thinks: "Avatar" will and should win. "Star Trek" and "District 9" are both EXCELLENT candidates and it's a shame that they don't stand a chance against the unbeatable (and deserving) "Avatar."

Erica Thinks: "Avatar" will and should win.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

“District 9”
“An Education”
“In the Loop”
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire"

"Up in the Air"

John Thinks: "Up in the Air" will and should win. It's the one award "Up in the Air" will (deservedly) pick up.

Erica Thinks: "An Education" will win, "Precious" should win.

Writing (Original Screenplay)

“The Hurt Locker”
“Inglourious Basterds”
“The Messenger”
“A Serious Man”
“Up”

John Thinks: "Inglourious Basterds" will and should win. "The Hurt Locker" is the favorite, but this is the best chance for the Academy to honor Quentin Tarantino.

Erica Thinks: "The Hurt Locker" will win, "A Serious Man" should win. I guess "A Serious Man" made some kind of impression.

Project Runway: Tool Time

You know what they say – one man’s trash bag is another man’s treasure. (But we’ll get to that later.)

After a week off (it seemed longer – I honestly had trouble remembering Mila’s name), “Project Runway” returned with, arguably, its best episode of the season and, DEFINITELY, its most controversial result.

I knew this would be a good one two weeks ago when the previews showed the designers frantically rummaging through tools. Tim Gunn and Michael Kors (for some reason), presented the challenge, which was to create an unconventional look using materials from a hardware store. The designers would also have to create an accessory (thoughtfully).

The challenges with unconventional materials on “Project Runway” are my absolute favorite. I think they create an opportunity for contestants to show their creativity, perseverance and intuition in an interesting way. That being said, I can understand why most designers seem to hate them. A few of them last night (like Amy and Maya) seemed to welcome the challenge (and it’s no coincidence they did really well), but others weren’t exactly jumping for joy at the prospect of working with tools.

Speaking of tools, let’s talk about Emilio “I don’t do crafts” Sosa (pictured, left). Anyone who’s watched the show this season shouldn’t have been surprised that Emilio complained the loudest throughout the entire hour. The thing that killed him was going WAY over budget at the hardware store, forcing him to ditch half of his material.

Emilio also complained about the loud noise in the workroom (as his competitors literally hammered their garments into shape) and threw a mini hissy fit when a couple of competitors pointed out the fact that his skimpy garment looked like a stripper outfit. Emilio’s always come off as an arrogant a-hole, but it’s easier to get away with a stank attitude when you’re doing well. (Ask last season’s winner Irina.) Following this week’s disaster and his mailed-in little girl look from two weeks ago, Emilio’s running out of currency.

Fortunately, Tim Gunn is here to lighten the mood. I love when he pointed out that Emilio’s innovation could be the world’s first bottom-less dress. Tim also loved Mila’s color-blocked (shocker!) mod look, and Jay Nicolas’ trash bag leather pants (shrinkage crisis averted!). Tim was considerably less excited about Jesse’s Elizabethan mini/elementary school project and all the copper in the room. (Probably the reason Jesse painted his dress silver.)

The runway show arrived, and the results were mostly impressive.

The top 3 was comprised of Mila (she may have color-blocked again, but her paint tray liner dress was hella-stylish once again, so I’m not mad at her!) Maya (excellent see-through jacket and key necklace accessory), and Jay Nicolas. I was also a fan of the way Amy’s dress looked with her model’s skin.

While Mila and Maya had strong showings, Jay Nicolas was the CLEAR winner to me (and the judges). I knew the pants were trash bags, but I didn’t realize he’d also made the top and belt out of the notoriously hard-to-manipulate material. This is Jay Nicolas’ second win of the season and, most importantly, he’s making me look like a genius for picking him as my Ridiculously Early Pick to Win it All after the season premiere.

Emilio, who had no choice but to make the tackiest bikini (that wouldn’t stay up at first) you’ve ever seen, was joined in the bottom 3 by Anthony (I thought his dress was pretty, but it WAS also soft and safe), and Jesse. Unfortunately, spray painting his dress DID make his model look like the Tin Man/a Hershey’s Kiss. (These are NOT great fashion references, as Michael Kors helpfully pointed out.)

Anthony was spared, which left Jesse and Emilio on the chopping block. Nina Garcia (looking kinda hot in a man’s dress shirt) had the line of the night when she directly asked Emilio, “Why did you choose not to do any clothing?” Emilio spun a story about how he figured every other designer would be making a dress, so he decided to do something different.

Fortunately for him, Nina actually sorta liked the bikini (I question YOUR taste level) and guest judge Isabel Toledo particularly bought Emilio’s BS, but she’s new, and she doesn’t know any better. (Meanwhile, the other guest judge, Stephen Webster, was a complete non-factor.)

As a result, Emilio got a stay of execution and Jesse (and his tortured, Jiffy Pop dress) went home.

Here’s where I come down on the whole thing. I’m never EVER going to be able to convince anybody that, based on last night’s work, Emilio deserved to stay over Jesse. (Jesse created a complete outfit, Emilio did not. Case closed.) Yet, I can’t seem to really muster outrage over this decision for a number of reasons. It’s partly because I’m a person who believes that past work and potential DOES matter (and Emilio has Jesse beat on both counts, in my opinion). Maybe it’s because I still have visions of Jesse bullying poor Ping from about a month ago.

The bottom line is I disagree with the judges’ decision, but I can understand it. I imagine a lot of you disagree with it too. One thing we can all agree on – this would be a LOT easier to take if Emilio weren’t such a douche!

So what’d you think of this episode? Did Jesse deserve to go home? (Even Tim Gunn didn’t think so.) Do you prefer when the designers work with fabric or unconventional materials? Finally, is Emilio’s bikini the worst outfit to ever walk down the runway? (It’s GOT to be in the top, er bottom, 3.)

Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: Tell Me What You Don't Like About the Series Finale

After 100 episodes, hundreds of surgeries and roughly 2,000 sex scenes “Nip/Tuck” has reached its end.

As someone who stuck with the show through thick and thin (all you had to do was adjust your expectations in seasons 4-7), I’m sad to report that the series finale was a bit of a letdown.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not disappointed about the fact that the show’s swan song was a relatively subdued affair (instead of an hour-long basic cable orgy). There were also several individual moments that made this a worthwhile episode. However, after last week’s excellent lead up, this series finale ended up being kind of a dull bummer.

Let’s get some of the bad stuff out of the way first – Matt is the worst TV character I have ever seen. (And I watch a LOT of TV.) I mean, he’s a lethal combination of pathetic, humorless and wimpy. I wondered if creator Ryan Murphy (who wrote the series finale) would try to redeem him in the end. Instead, Murphy appeared to go the other way and made him as unlikable as possible (which is actually an interesting direction).

To summarize, Matt ditched his fiancée at the altar to run off with Ava and wanted Sean and Christian to take care of his daughter while he and Ava traveled to Brazil to operate on her baby. Christian eventually made a deal with Ava (I DID like that they were evenly matched in deviousness) that would involve her dumping Matt in exchange for operating on her baby. (Shades of Christian forcing Kimber to dump Matt to perform surgeries on her.) In the end, Matt and his daughter Jenna tracked down Ava at the airport. Ava got her “perfect” child, while Matt got Ava (he doesn’t seem to mind that she doesn’t love him).

Ugh, Ava is too awesome (evil but awesome) to end up with Matt.

Also, remember how I said that last week Julia was as cool as she’s ever been? Well, this week she reverted back to her annoying Debbie Downer self. I mean, it was obvious that Sean was pretending to be content with his life (he WAS more fun that way), but having Julia be the one to naggingly point it out was disingenuous given that she was fleeing the country and taking his kids. She also had some harsh words for Christian (which I’ll get into a little later). This episode pretty much obliterated all the goodwill Julia built up (with me) last week.

Finally, I wasn’t a huge fan of our Patient of the Week, “Hiro Yoshimura.” Obviously, I had high hopes for the senior citizen Japanese porn star who was actually happy the way he was (but wanted a heart surgery scar removed), but the storyline offered nothing new or interesting (except for Sean and Christian doing drugs and kinda hooking up with Hiro’s two female companions). Also, you’re not going to believe this, but an operation Sean and Christian performed backfired and Hiro ended up dying. (The surgeries usually turn out so well on this show.)

But you didn’t come here to listen to me complain, and I don’t want to spend my last “Nip/Tuck” recap talking about the stuff I didn’t like. Let’s focus on the positive.

I think it was cruel of the show to never give Liz a functional relationship, but having Sean and Christian make her a partner (and letting her utter the show’s signature line) is a terrific consolation. The Sean/Liz baby poppa drama didn’t do much for me, but Roma Maffia was often excellent on this show, so it was nice to see her character end strongly.

I also really liked Christian’s arc (and lack thereof) in this episode. All season (and series) long has been about Christian refusing to let Sean go. In this episode, Julia had told him that he “steals people’s souls”, which was harsh, but also kinda true. (That also led to a terrific final appearance from Kelly Carlson’s Kimber, who told Christian in a dream that she’d killed herself to get away from him. Ouch.)

Christian eventually realized that Sean would slowly kill himself too if they stayed together and, for lack of a better term, broke up with him in a fantastic “tell me what you don’t like about yourself” counseling session. (That scene was much more effective than the music-montage dinner farewell for Julia – there should’ve been a banner that said, “Good Riddance” for that one.) Anyway, even with Christian’s breakthrough he’s still the same guy. I LOVE that the show ended with a verbatim recreation of the pilot scene where Christian first hit on Kimber at a bar.

While I enjoyed Christian in this episode, I HATED what they did with Sean. Yes, I understand that his freewheeling attitude early in the episode was a sham, but at least he wasn’t a pill. Still, the absolute worst sin the writers committed is that they apparently absolved Sean of all responsibility in his relationship with Christian.

It was Christian who decided to initiate the breakup (Sean would’ve been happy to go along and be miserable.) When Christian and Sean said their goodbyes at the airport, Sean actually said, “Thank you” as if Sean had been some sort of prisoner this entire time. Last time I checked, Sean was a grown-ass man and I absolutely detested that they made him out to be an absolute weakling that needed to be let go.

Oh well. Nothing’s perfect. And despite everything I just wrote, there’s no denying this show left a mark and that it will be missed.

So what’d you think of this episode? Can you honestly name a worse TV character than Matt McNamara? Were you happy/surprised to see the young children in this show actually resurface for a few minutes? Finally, what’s your favorite “Nip/Tuck” episode of all time? (I’ve gotta go with season 2 finale “Joan Rivers. It had everything – Ava Moore, Alec Baldwin, and a genuinely chilling shocker of a cliffhanger.)

Thanks for checking out my “Nip/Tuck” recaps (and a special thanks to the people who bothered to comment – even if it was to tell me I’m an idiot).

American Idol: Mad Scientist

I have mixed feelings about the latest episode of “American Idol.”
On the one hand, I’m completely happy that we finally got an episode that was NOT mostly made of suck. (Hey, it only took a month and a half!)

On the other hand, my opinions on the performances from the 10 remaining ladies ran SO counter at times to what the judges were saying, that I felt like I was taking crazy pills.

Let’s break down who’s in, who’s (likely) out, and who’s in between:

WHO’S IN

If reports that Crystal Bowersox had been in the hospital the day before — due to diabetes complications — hadn’t set the Internet on fire, I would’ve had no idea that there was anything wrong with her. (Ok, so she looked a little pale to me, but I could just be projecting.)

Anyway, her take on Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Long as I Can See the Light” was effortlessly terrific in a way some of Crystal’s screamier contenders for the season 9 “Idol” crown can only dream of. I’m still not sure the 2010 music landscape needs another Jewel (thanks Erica, for the apt comparison), but this competition DEFINITELY needs someone as cool and talented as Crystal. (How funny was her calling out Simon for never riding the subway.)

I even think she’s cool enough to withstand the inevitable backlash that’ll come from the way the judges fawned over her last night. I’m guessing some people will get annoyed and that we’ll be hearing whispers that she’s overrated (look what’s happening to “The Hurt Locker” leading up to the Oscars), but I believe her underdog charms will inevitably carry the day.

As much as I think Crystal is cool, my (and Simon’s) favorite contestant is getting to be Siobhan Magnus. Sure, her glory note on “Think” was greater than the whole, but I like that she’s a little off and isn’t afraid to tackle anything with that big voice of hers. (I’m also happy to see she stopped dressing like an 80’s sitcom character — she’s quirky enough on her own without dressing weird.)

Still, if Crystal was the judges’ favorite on Tuesday, and Siobhan is my favorite girl in the competition, my (non-existent) award for best performance goes to Katelyn Epperly (pictured, left). Obviously, I don’t have the music industry experience or credibility three out of the four judges possess, but I was shocked when they gave her cover of “The Scientist” such tepid reviews. They slammed it for being slow. Sure, it was slow (it IS a ballad), but it was never boring. In fact, it was completely engaging throughout. I would've been pissed off if I were Katelyn, who, it turns out, like Rebecca Romijn without last week’s clown makeup.

I wasn’t quite as flabbergasted when they tripped over themselves to praise Lily Scott’s “Idol” moment, but I WAS a bit taken aback. Don’t get me wrong, I thought her jazzy, acoustic take on “A Change is Gonna Come” was cool, but she seemed to push her voice too hard and appeared to run out of gas in the second half of the song. I actually didn’t think it was THAT much better than her performance last week. I liked it (and I like Lilly), but I didn’t really see this as an “Idol moment” we’re going to be referencing three years from now. (Assuming this show didn’t implode after Simon’s departure.)

I SHOULD SAY THEY’RE IN TROUBLE, BUT THEY’RE NOT

You know, other than identifying the wrong Alanis song that Crystal sang last week and sitting so creepily close to Simon, I thought Kara was pretty right on last night.

That includes her comment to Katie that, just because “Put Your Records On” sounds good on the radio, doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll translate to the live stage. Also not translating to the live stage is Katie, who still appears unsure of herself — her performance didn’t even get (sorta) good until it was almost over. Erica thinks the 17-year-old should be sent to the Disney Channel to replace Selena Gomez, and I don’t disagree.

Another place the judges (except for Randy) and I differed was with Michelle Delamor. I admire her guts for covering Creed in front of 30 million people (last I checked, we’re not in the year 2000), and her arrangement was actually pretty solid. The problem was, um, her. She was WEAK. Simon said the first half was better than the second half, and I agree. The problem is that the second half was supposed to be the most dynamic part of her performance, and Michelle wouldn’t (or probably couldn’t) hit the big notes to take her performance to the next level. Still, the fact that she even picked a Creed song (and not another Alicia Keys song) lets me know that we might be in for some more interesting (yet underwhelming) performances down the line.

I SHOULDN’T SAY THEY’RE IN TROUBLE, BUT THEY ARE

Ok, what the hell was the judges’ problem with Didi Benami?

Sure, she didn’t reinvent the wheel with “Lean on Me”, but I actually didn’t think it was a bad song choice at all. I liked hearing an unexpected voice on SUUUUCCCHH a familiar song, and Didi performed it pretty well. I can understand the judges not loving it, but I’ll never understand why they absolutely trashed it. It’s a good thing Didi didn’t try to talk to Ryan afterwards because she would’ve definitely cried. (Maybe, I’m just defensive because Didi kinda reminds me of Cat Deeley and everybody likes Cat Deeley.)

I’D PACK MY SUITCASE IF I WERE YOU

It’s not that I think Paige Miles is one of the three worst singers (though I also don’t think she’s the best, as Simon insists). It’s just that I don’t see how doing a soundalike cover of Kelly Clarkson’s “Walk Away” (one of the few Clarkson songs that don’t have a big moment) is supposed to get people excited about voting for you when they don’t know who the hell you are.

I think Paige is gone, and I think that she’ll be joined by Lacey Brown. I sort of gave Lacey a pass after last week’s absolutely disastrous “Landslide” performance because her previous “Over the Rainbow” was so good. However, she hasn’t built up the amount of goodwill, say, Andrew Garcia has in the bank with his “Straight Up.” As a result, her painful take on “Kiss Me” (at Kara’s behest) should and will get her sent home. (At least it’s good to know that she takes requests.)

That means we’ll have another week of Haeley Vaughn, butchering another song. I’m not saying that to criticize her or praise her, it’s just what’s going to happen. Kara was absolutely right in pointing out that she’s a few years away from being a real contender in this competition. (Which made me wonder why the hell they let her through in the first place!) This week, she chopped apart “The Climb” (which I actually really like) almost as badly as Miley Cyrus does when she sings it live. That goes to show that just because Haeley picked a song by a fellow teenager, it doesn’t mean she can’t make it sound like a plodding mess.

So what’d you think of this episode? Are the judges over doing it in praising Crystal? Was Didi really THAT bad? What will Katelyn dress as next week? Why does Simon insist on proving to us that he can grow chest hair? Finally, who do you think is going home this week? (I’ve got John, Jermaine, Paige and Lacey.)

Lost: Temple of Doom

Ok, so last week I alluded to the very strong possibility that I cried during the climactic breakthrough scene between Sideways Jack and his son David.

Well “Sundown”, the latest episode of “Lost”, did away with that namby-pamby emotional junk and simply decided to wreck some s---! (R.I.P. Temple.)

Obviously I’m joking (since the emotional connection to these characters is what makes the show’s freaky-deaky sci-fi stuff palatable for us non-geniuses), but “Sundown” still came across as a dark, action-packed and emphatic conclusion to the Temple storyline that was beginning to frustrate some fans. (I imagine they felt a bit like Miles – sadly playing solitaire and waiting for something, ANYTHING to come and bust them out of that Temple.)

Well, the Temple definitely got busted in what was effectively the end of Act I in the final season of “Lost.”

“Sundown”, a title that directly evokes the season’s central themes of light and dark, focused on Sayid (not Sun, much to my pun-loving dismay).

It turns out Sideways Sayid (like Castaway Sayid) was in Los Angeles to see Nadia, the love of his life. The difference is that Sideways Nadia is married to Sayid’s brother Omer, and has two children.

After that initial shock, it became increasingly clear that things weren’t THAT different. Sayid and Nadia still loved each other (albeit secretly in this reality), and Sayid still had his Republican Guard/torturer background, which Omer cruelly tried to use as leverage to get Sayid to bail him out of trouble. (If you remember a young Sayid killing a chicken so Omer didn’t have to when they were young, you know Sayid bailing Omer out is nothing new.)

Most importantly, (like Castaway Sayid) Sideways Sayid found trouble and darkness no matter how desperately he tried to avoid it. I will give Sideways Sayid credit for turning the other cheek (at Nadia’s urging) even after his brother got “mugged” and sent to the hospital. (Hi, Jack!) Eventually, Sayid had no choice but to deal with his brother’s trouble when the bad men Omer borrowed money from semi-abducted Sayid.

The past-season character parade continued in the Sideways world with a delightfully hammy (and eggy) appearance from former freighter psycho Martin Keamy (Kevin Durand). Keamy’s men threatened Sayid, so he killed his two henchmen in self-defense. (I have a feeling Sideways Sayid doesn’t really approve oil contracts.) However, he didn’t necessarily HAVE to kill Keamy, so it was disappointing to see him make a choice the tortured Castaway Sayid would’ve made, especially in light of the fact that the other Sideways characters we’ve seen so far appear to be making more enlightened choices.

Still, unlike the time he (for example) shot a little kid, Sayid can justify his decision by saying he was protecting Nadia and his family. Also, there was an intriguing surprise in Keamy’s freezer.

Last week’s Sideways story moved me to tears, and Sayid’s Sideways story this week was solid (and kicked up a notch after Jin showed up). However, the real s--- was going down on the Island this week.

We opened with Sayid barging into Dogen’s, um, office and demanding to know why Dogen tried to kill him. Dogen explained the test he administered — weighing the good and bad in a person — had Sayid the scales in the wrong direction before coldly delivering a killer line: “I think it would be better if you were dead.” Despite saying these words to Sayid, Dogen stopped just short of killing him after a great, extended fight between the two men. Still, the most interesting tidbit from this scene was Sayid’s insistence that he was a good man. If you recall, Sayid was absolutely convinced he was going to hell before he died (but not by the Others, as Miles pointed out). As a result, Resurrected Castaway Sayid’s insistence that he was “good” stood out to me.

The exchange led Dogen to banish Sayid to the jungle (“Apparently, I’m evil,” he deadpanned to Miles), which I initially thought was good luck given that Jacob had gotten Jack and Hurley the hell out of the Temple. Unfortunately, Claire showed up as Sayid was leaving and requested that Dogen come outside the Temple to meet her “friend.” Dogen balked and instead gave Sayid the chance to prove he was a good person by giving him a knife and telling him to plunge it in the heart of “evil incarnate.” Besides Dogen’s obviously-biased view on the Man in Black, it was also interesting to learn (officially) that the Smoke Monster can apparently only take the form of people who have died. He warned Sayid that if he let the man talk, it was too late.

That’s why I’m interested to hear how you read the scene where Sayid faced Anti-Locke. I mean, technically Anti-Locke spoke, but was saying “Hello, Sayid” really enough to negate Sayid stabbing him in the chest? Obviously stabbing Anti-Locke didn’t hurt him, but did Dogen’s custom knife do ANYTHING? Despite the fact he DOES appear to be “evil incarnate”, I’m inclined to believe Anti-Locke when he says that Dogen had sent Sayid on a poison pill fools errand hoping that Sayid would be killed.

Either way, Sayid happened to catch Anti-Locke in the middle of recruiting season. Kudos once again to Terry O’Quinn, who refuses to overplay Anti-Locke’s Faustian tendencies. The pitch to Sayid was that Anti-Locke could provide the one thing he wanted – even if that thing had died in his arms years before. The idea that the flash-sideways represent the alternate lives Anti-Locke keeps promising people is an interesting notion. (What do you think?)

As a result, Sayid returned to the Temple with a message from Anti-Locke – Jacob is dead and you’re all free to go! (Flight attendant Cindy was particularly eager to comply. She’s SUCH a frontrunner, first ditching the castaways for the Others, now ditching the Others for Anti-Locke.)

Sayid shared a nice scene with Dogen, who explained how he got to the Island. He’d been driving drunk after picking up his son from baseball practice (which explained his obsession with that baseball) and got into an accident, so he made a deal with Jacob to save his son’s life in exchange for servitude on the Island. (Shades of Juliet and her cancer-ridden sister.)

The niceness quickly gave way to chaos with Sayid drowning Dogen in the (non)rejuvenation pool (he didn’t seem to put up much of a fight) and slitting Lennon’s throat. Though I’ll be sad to see Dogen go (I thought he was pretty cool), the character appeared to have packed it in and seemed to welcome death. (And Hiroyuki Sanada got a cool fight scene under his belt.) Lennon’s death? Meh.

Unfortunately for the Temple inhabitants, Dogen’s death now allowed to Smoke Monster to enter the Temple. (It seems Jacob had endowed him with some sort of Smoke Monster-Be-Gone mojo.)

The sequence with the Smoke Monster attacking the temple was so badass, that words can’t do it justice. You REALLY have to see it yourself, if you haven’t already. I’ll just give you a couple of my highlights:

The pillar of smoke whooshing above Kate and Claire as Kate dangled from the ladder (boy do THOSE two have unfinished business). The really killer scene was when Ben ran into Sayid and insisted they escape because, “There’s still time.” “Not for me,” Sayid replied in a loaded tone that matched Castaway Resurrected Sayid’s attitude with Castaway Pre-Death Sayid’s. (Michael Emerson slowly backing away from Sayid after he said this was also genius.)

The episode ended with Claire’s creepy rendition of “Catch a Falling Star” as Sayid looking like a terrifying badass joined Anti-Locke’s army. Personally, while the music was effective, I thought it was too much. I believe the acting of Naveen Andrews (who was EXCELLENT in this episode), O’Quinn, Emilie de Ravin and Evangeline Lilly was good enough to carry it without the creepy soundtrack. I’m especially intrigued by the stank look Anti-Locke gave the befuddled Kate – it’s almost as if he can tell that she’s not exactly on-board with his plans, but he can’t kill her in front of all those people.

This episode was absolutely terrific on its own merits, while also closing the chapter on the final season’s first act AND setting the stage for the story’s next phase. Remember the war Widmore referred to when he was trying to help Locke get back to the Island? I believe we now know what he was talking about.

So what’d you think of this episode? Who else thought (for an instant) that Sayid might stab Kate (since she was actually the first person he ran into in the jungle)? Will anyone besides me be using, “Apparently, I’m evil” in everyday conversation? Finally, where the hell were Jin and Sawyer during Anti-Locke’s siege?

American Idol: Men's World

Well that was a surprise.

When I fired up my DVR Tuesday night, I expected to see the 10 remaining female semifinalists doing battle on the “Idol” stage. Instead, due to a medical issue affecting one of the ladies, we got to hear the 10 guys.

Another surprise was the men’s overall performance — I’d expected them to be laughably bad (like last week), but they turned out to be unoffensively underwhelming. Yay progress!

Just like last week, I’m going to split the contestants — several of whom seemed to wield a guitar as if it were a safety blanket — into who’s in, who’s out and who’s in between.

WHO’S IN

My house is no longer divided on the Alex Lambert issue — I like him! (This, despite the fact that he’s a dead ringer for Edward Norton in “Primal Fear”, which creeps me out.)

My main complaint with Alex last week had little to do with his voice (which is still a mite twee) and a LOT to do with the nerves made him thoroughly uncomfortable to watch (not even in a fun way). Alex earned some points right away by acknowledging his fantastic stage absence last week (though saying he threw up was probably TM information).

However, his real genius move was bringing that guitar with him on stage and planting himself on a stool to sing John Legend’s “Everybody Knows.” Alex is an incredibly endearing but incredibly green performer, so anything that keeps him from having to engage the audience or move around the stage is the way to go. Most importantly, Alex forced me to utter four of my most dreaded words: “You were right, Erica.” (Shudder.)

Alex wins the Most Improved Award, but got surprisingly stiff competition for that award from Michael Lynche (pictured, left), who appeared to be in his sweet spot with his show-opening “It’s a Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World.” This was his best performance (and I could make the case that it was the best of the evening), but I still don’t see greatness in Michael. However, after last night, I see “pretty goodness”, which is a definite step up.

Unfortunately, Andrew Garcia has been taking a step down in the judges’ eyes ever since his standout “Straight Up” Hollywood Week performance. The judges basically confirmed my suspicion that they’ve been penalizing him for simply not living up to “Straight Up.” That’s unfair, because last night they could’ve penalized him for being a bit boring (even sleepy) on the verses and going flat a few times. Still, his goodwill from “Straight Up” is definitely enough to get him to next week — I’m just not sure how much longer it’ll last. ($20 says he whips the guitar/safety blanket back out next week.) I really hope he doesn’t become completely discouraged by Simon repeatedly telling him how “disappointed” he is in him.

Finally, there’s Casey James who was a more convincing guitar player than singer during “I Don’t Wanna Be.” Unfortunately, his voice simply wasn’t strong enough for the Gavin DeGraw hit. (I suspect his voice isn’t strong enough for lots of songs). Good job by Kara in pointing this out. Still, the season’s heartthrob should cruise to the next round.

I SHOULD SAY THEY’RE IN TROUBLE, BUT THEY’RE NOT

If I converted over to Erica’s side in the Alex Lambert issue, I can claim a small victory when it comes to Aaron Kelly, whom she used to defend:

“I don’t like him” – Erica, after his actually-should’ve-been-even-more-countrified take on “My Girl.” I’d also like someone to explain to me why Aaron gets a free-pass for over-singing, while two of his (blacker) competitors get (justifiably) raked across the coals for their embellishments.

I’m also going to put Lee Dewyze in this category, not because I don’t think he’s good (although I have to question his taste level after picking “Lips of an Angel”). Like Alex Lambert, he’s got a distinct tone and his lack of stage polish is endearing (the difference being that Lee doesn’t look like he’s going to pee his pants on live TV).

I’m putting him in this category because, apparently, I need to get my ears cleaned out. I mean, what the hell are the judges (mostly Simon) talking about when they say he’s head and shoulders above the rest of the competition in the vocal department? Are they not hearing those flat notes when he starts yelling? Oh well, he’s a likable dude and I hope he gets a functional belt — I don’t need to hear him sing “Pants on the Ground” next week.

I SHOULDN’T SAY THEY’RE IN TROUBLE, BUT THEY ARE

I like Todrick Hall. Although it was old-fashioned and smooth-jazzy, I actually thought Tundrick (as Simon butchered his name) did a decent job of taking the judges’ notes from last week and toning down the “artistry” in his cover of “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” I think he sounded really good, so the harsh critiques (Simon said he should JUST dance) seemed out of place.

I’D PACK MY SUITCASE IF I WERE YOU

On the other hand, Jermaine Sellers deserves every harsh critique he has coming his way.

He deserves criticism for his voice (why would you over-sing one of the most famous message songs ever and muddle the MESSAGE), his style (the Pee-Wee Herman look was even worse than the onesie) and his attitude. I mean, this guy just doesn’t get it (making the choice of “What’s Going On” strangely appropriate) — when the judges tell him to pull back a bit, they don’t just mean that you should scream less. (Sigh.)

Of course, this was all a prelude to his extremely unappealing interview segment after he sang, in which he invited the judges to come to church and Simon accepted. Jermaine also claimed God would get him through to next week, hilariously prompting Simon to tell Ryan that he needn’t bother with Jermaine’s phone number.

Honestly, other being related to him, what possible reason could anyone have for voting for this guy?

That would leave either Tim Urban or John Park on outs along with Jermaine.

Up until the beginning of this sentence, I believed that Tim Urban would be the one to home. His “Come on and Get Higher” was an appropriately safe choice after the disaster that was “Apologize” last week. If this show is a boat race, then Tim’s boat got capsized last week. Instead of worrying about winning the race, Tim had to first get the boat right side up again, which is what “Come on Get Higher” did. Unfortunately, Tim has no chance of winning the boat race.

However, I believe he’ll get another week. The reviews were rough for Tim (“you should go into acting” never sounded like harsher advice) and, though I believe Simon went easy on him to prevent giving Tim sympathy votes, I think Tim will grace us with his presence another week. I mean, if he can survive “Apologize”, he can survive anything.

That’ll leave John Park on the outside looking in. John just had a deadly combination of factors going against him. He performed early in the show (second) and he sang a John Mayer song (not exactly the most popular guy in the world right now). More importantly, he was deadly dull for the second consecutive week, offering nothing new or exciting to “Gravity”.

Like the judges, I feel as if John isn’t connecting with his material. Leave it to Erica to set me straight: “I think he’s feeling it, but he’s not making us feel it too.”

Four. Dreaded. Words.

So what’d you think of this episode? Will Todrick ever sing a song originally recorded by a male artist? (So far, we’ve gotten Lady Gaga, Kelly Clarkson and Tina Turner.) Has there ever been a more unlikable contestant that’s made it this far on the show? Finally, who do YOU think is going home Thursday night?

24: Hospital Visit

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that “24” picked up its game in the same hour it put the Dana/Kevin/Cole nonsense on the backburner. (Or at least in the bottom of a river.)

Things are still far from great — the season still has an undeniably aimless quality to it — but the latest episode was definitely a step in the right direction.

The episode picked up right where we left off last week. Jack was leading a CTU-team (including Agt. “Poopypants” Owen) to pick up Farhad Hassan after Farhad had been betrayed by his cronies (who we learned were actually President Hassan’s covert ops personnel called IRK - seriously). Unfortunately, Farhad ran out into the open like a numbnut and got himself mortally wounded seconds before Jack and Co. arrived. (OF COURSE!)

Jack unleashed the Bauer scream to the EMT working on reviving Hassan (good for the EMT, yelling back at Jack!), but it was too late. Fortunately, in addition to being physically awesome, Jack is a super-genius and quickly devised a cool plan: CTU would pretend that Farhad was still alive and (hopefully) draw out an assassin that could potentially lead them to the terrorists. This is the kind of cool, old-school CTU tactic (that hasn’t been beaten to death) that I like seeing. (Jack must've watched "Weekend at Bernie's" with his granddaughter the day before.)

The plan, of course, worked. A young, American-born assassin named Marcos had been recruited and, after warning his mom (Mare Winningham) to get out of town, he set out to kill (the already-dead) Farhad.

In the episode’s most tense sequence, the fate of thousands of lives rested on the (shaky) hands of Agt. Poopypants Owen. Marcos had a bomb strapped to his chest, so Poopypants had to make Marcos reveal the bomb within sight of a surveillance camera so Chloe (getting a chance to be competent!) could remotely disarm it. And, yes, I realize this was absolutely preposterous, but tense + preposterous = “24” at its best.

Marcos was foiled (I thought having him shoot Farhad’s dead body was hilarious), but jumped out of a hospital window. Despite being injured, Marcos was able to outrun several CTU agents (including a cat-like Jack) and lock himself in a hyperbaric chamber(!?) Remember a few weeks ago when I complained about how the show blatantly drags things out to fill 24 hours? Well, having a disoriented bad guy conveniently come across one of the few places the authorities can’t get to him definitely qualifies. (Eye roll.)

Still, the clever and tense action in this episode gave me some hope for what’s in store the rest of the season. (Jack and Renee’s second consecutive lovey-dovey chat gave me considerably less hope.)

If only the non-Jack parts of the season looked as promising.

Maybe it’s just me, but I like President Hassan when he was the even-tempered charismatic diplomat. I’m just not feeling Anil Kapoor’s performance as the unhinged President Hassan. (Kapoor gives off a natural slickness that makes him an unconvincing loon.)

Anyway, President Hassan flipped his lid (but his hair remained unmoving) when he learned that his formerly-trusted bodyguard had escaped custody and was likely shacking up with his daughter Kayla. (Showing those two getting it on — good use of split screen.) Hassan appealed to his wife for help and spilled some details that might be useful to her if she turned out to be a villain. (I’m still hoping Kayla turns out to be the real baddie – having Hassan’s wife be the bad guy would reek of Sherri Palmer.)

Besides that, President Hassan had a tense scene with President Taylor, who threatened to bomb Kamistan if Hassan’s covert ops people detonated a weapon in New York. (Fortunately, Kamistan isn’t a real country, so jokes on you President Taylor.)

Seriously though, seeing Taylor face down Hassan was encouraging, but our president’s scenes have still been sorely lacking this season. For example, we got the 27th variation of “this is what will happen if the weapon is detonated” scene last night. (You’re not gonna believe this, but thousands of people would be killed.)

I continue to be more intrigued by Chief of Staff Rob Weiss, who tried to bully CTU Head Hastings into scapegoating Renee Walker. Hastings refused, and I was really happy to see him stand up for his own people. I was actually pretty high on Hastnigs until I remembered that he’s apparently perfectly ok with not having heard from his head of field ops or lead analyst in the last hour or so during a major crisis.

So what’d you think of this episode? Why did Marcos wait until his suicide mission to tell his mom to get out of town? (Why not tell her to get out as soon as they got their hands on the nuclear rods and decided to use them in New York?) Finally, isn’t Agt. Owen out way past his curfew?

Wicked at the Straz Performing Arts Center Review

There IS such a thing as having too much back story, especially when you’re talking about great pop culture villains.

For example, Hannibal Lecter was a lot scarier when we had absolutely no idea why he liked to eat people after he killed them. Eventually, we got “Hannibal Rising” (or as I call it, “Fine Young Hannibal”), in which we learned Hannibal Lecter had been adopted by his Japanese aunt — who taught him about flower arranging and martial arts — and wanted to avenge the death of his sister. Seriously.

Let’s just say the character was a lot more effective in “The Silence of the Lambs”, when we were all perfectly willing to accept the fact that he was just crazy. (Or when we could create our own creepy back story in our imagination.) The back story we actually got in “Hannibal Rising” was a joke — a plodding, humorless joke, but a joke nonetheless.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say the Wicked Witch of the West from “The Wizard of Oz” ranks among pop culture’s most notorious baddies. I mean, Margaret Hamilton iconic portrayal STILL resonates more than 70 years after the movie’s release. The back story we get in “Wicked” is a joke — an upbeat, clever, crowd-pleasing joke, but a great joke nonetheless.

“Wicked” is based on the Gregory Maguire novel of the same name and tells a story parallel to the events in L. Frank Baum’s “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.”

The twist is that “Wicked” is told from the perspective of Oz’s witches.

The story begins where “The Wizard of Oz” ends with the citizens of Oz celebrating the death of the Wicked Witch of the West (“No One Mourns the Wicked”) with Glinda the Good Witch.

From there, Glinda recounts her history with the Wicked Witch of the West. We learn the Wicked Witch’s name was actually Elphaba and that she was a strong and independent outsider thanks in large part to her green skin. Elphaba met popular girl Glinda (pronounced Ga-linda at the time) at school and the two took an immediate dislike to each other before eventually forging a strong friendship that would be tested by their ideology and, of course, a boy (named Fiyero).

The reason “Wicked” worked for me was because I see it more as a freewheeling “what if” riff on “The Wizard of Oz” mythology, than as a serious companion piece. If you think too much about how the two works relate to each other, some things just won’t make sense. (Like why “The Wicked Witch” attacks the Scarecrow in the movie.) As a result, I like to think of “Wicked” more as an alternate take on an already-established piece of work.

The main reason “Wicked” worked for me was because it’s a straight-up crowd-pleasing, big-hearted musical. I mean, all for edginess and finding new ways to tell stories, but every once in a while it’s great to get an old-fashioned spectacular musical, and that’s what “Wicked” delivers. (The staging and lighting are absolutely stunning.)

The touring company also delivers two absolutely excellent lead performances.

Donna Vivino is absolutely INCREDIBLE as Elphaba. She commands the stage with her authoritative and vulnerable performance when she’s acting, and she’s an absolute superstar when Elphaba sings. (The songs are by Stephen Schwartz and the book is by Winnie Holzman.) Vivino’s rafter-shaking voice was in especially good use during “The Wizard and I” and show-stopper “Defying Gravity.” (THAT’S how you end an Act I.)

Vivino has a terrific (and hilarious foil) in Chandra Lee Schwartz who plays Glinda as a meaner (at first) version Elle Woods. Though Schwartz has her own musical moment (the great “Popular”), her best moments are when she brings the funny as the good-natured but self-absorbed Glinda.

Vivino and Schwartz have gigantic shoes to fill (Broadway legends Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth originated their roles, respectively) and they do a great job.

(I also have to give props to the production and Morsani Hall at the Straz Performing Arts Center – I’ve seen quite a few musicals at this venue and a lot of the singers end up getting drowned out by the music. Vivino, Schwartz and company simply would NOT let that happen.)

In fact, those two are so outstanding they make everyone almost seem superfluous. Richard H. Blake is a fine Fiyero, but he has little to do but preen before his character’s predictable turn. The Wizard (Richard Kline) has a charming number, and Randy Danson has some amusing malapropisms as Madame Morrible, but there just isn’t that much to their characters.

Fortunately, Vivino and Schwartz are more than up to the task of carrying the show. Act I introduces and develops their characters’ relationship. Meanwhile, Act II - an absolute downer in most musicals - is considerably livened up thanks to many references and nods to “The Wizard of Oz” film following the (unseen) arrival of Dorothy. (There's also a decent chance I teared up during "For Good.")

Yes, “Wicked” is cheesy (and it probably has one twist too many at the end), but (like me) it’s upfront and unabashed about its cheesiness. It’s also one of the most satisfying experiences you’ll have at the theatre.

Wicked…A