Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: Crisis Management

I can't have been the only one last night that thought (or was hoping) they would kill somebody off.

Indeed, a few characters found themselves in mortal peril last night. Fortunately, they included some of the whiniest, most tiresome characters in the show's history, so I didn't really care if they got taken out.

As we saw from the previews for this week's episode, Julia and Olivia were robbed at gunpoint. It was good timing in that the robber appeared just as Julia and Olivia were perhaps about to breakup (about Julia's straightness), but it was bad timing in that Olivia folded like a lawn chair throughout the whole ordeal. In a welcome reversal, it was Julia who was the strong one as Olivia cried virtually the entire time. Nice job out of both Joely Richardson and Portia di Rossi in these scenes, making them feel harrowing even though we all knew they'd probably get away alive last night (though I'll admit to a fleeting moment where I hoped the guy would cap Julia and end all our suffering).

That fleeting moment went away when Julia finally stood up for herself (and for Sean) and told Eden off for having an "affair" with Sean (not sure why it's an affair since neither of them are attached) and messing with her friends. Sure, her threat to have her shipped to boarding school was empty because Eden is 18, but still. In fact, I really enjoyed all the scenes with Julia, Sean and Christian coming together as friends. Those three characters have always been the core of the show.

Of course, all of that got blown to hell in the final scene with Julia running into Christian's manly protective arms. Now it looks like those two are going to start up again, and we're in for some more overdone melodrama there. Yawn. Hopefully, they'll sprinkle in some more gems like Sean chiding Christian for encouraging Julia to get a gun by saying, "This from a man whose idea of responsibility is pulling out." GREAT line.

I'm not sure why the show decided that's the best way to go, especially since last night's episode "Dr. Joshua Lee" was one of the funniest and sexiest of the season.

Let's talk about the funny first — it was great to see Bradley Cooper back as actor Aidan Stone (pictured, right) who took Sean under his wing after he was having a mid-life crisis of sorts. Basically I loved everything Cooper did and said last night, from hosting a hell-themed party to undergoing a new age-y treatment with Sean (even the yoga in his tiny underwear inside his trailer). I realize Cooper and Oliver Platt as "Hearts N' Scalpels" producer Freddy Prune are busy, in-demand actors, but this show has to find a way to sprinkle them in more often and liven things up.

As for the sexy, well we got not one, but two scorching hot sex montages between Sean and Eden (who was back to her bad girl self after showing her vulnerable side last week). Honestly, it can't really get that much more risqué (on basic cable at least). Of course, Eden dropped him like a bad habit once she'd finally had him and threw in a "gray pubes" burn just for good measure. Second best line of the night. AnnaLynne McCord has been a very nice job in and injected life into a role that's basically the "clichéd temptress". I also loved watching Sean a little later get her back by playing hard to get because Dylan Walsh is an underrated comedic actor.

I'm only going to spend one sentence on this week's patient, a seemingly crazy old man who wanted to have an alien device removed from his back, because it was pointless and completely predictable that, perhaps, he isn't as crazy as we all think.

Then there's Matt and Kimber (damn, this episode was jam-packed!) They actually kicked off the episode by fessing up about their meth-addiction and begging for money and plastic surgery for Kimber so she could return to porn, only to be rebuffed by Matt's dads. Christian's line to Kimber "Your face looks like a frat's couch" was my third favorite line of the night, but eventually Christian did the surgery after Kimber offered to leave Matt. Kimber was appropriately convincing (especially for a porn actress) in her cruel dumping of Matt, though we did see a twinge of guilt. Oh well, whatever. Everything she said (about never really loving Matt) was probably true, so how broken up about it can you get?

Of course, that led Matt, Burger King's latest employee to cook up some crystal meth in a scene I was SURE was going to led to an explosion and the end of Mr. Creepy Eyebrows. Instead, he set himself on fire and took a dive into the pool, Golden God style.

So what'd you think of this episode? Is Matt dead? Would you care at all if he was? Are you excited about more Julia/Christian drama as they try to hide their relationship from Sean (I'm clearly not)? Are Julia and Olivia officially over? Finally, has there EVER been a patient that's been a bigger waste of time? (unless this alien storyline inexplicably comes back) I mean, even the seemingly random ones (like the ventriloquist who wanted to look like his dummy) at least serve as a metaphor of whatever Sean or Christian are going through?

The Golden Compass Review

Maybe we should blame "Lord of the Rings".

Because ever since Peter Jackson's astounding commercial and critical success adapting J.R.R. Tolkien's fantasy series, every other fantasy-themed film (the Narnias and Eragons or the world) has (probably unfairly) come off as a second-rate pretender.

For example, a deathmatch between two armor-clad polar bears should've come off as one of the biggest spectacles of the year. I mean, they're ARMOR-CLAD polar bears. Instead, it's mostly just another nice, well-done sequence (my favorite in the film, by the way) in another special-effects heavy literary adaptation of a beloved fantasy book.

It's not necessarily beloved by me. Now, calm down! I'm not part of the Catholic League or any of the other religious groups who've condemned Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy (and condemned the movie before watching it). I just haven't read the books.

Since I'd never read the books, I was fairly confused early on in the story, which involves a young girl named Lyra (newcomer Dakota Blue Richards in a parallel world living in Oxford's Jordan College. She embarks on an odyssey to rescue her friend and other children who have been kidnapped by a mysterious, oppressive organization called the Magisterium that is trying to stop Lyra's uncle, Lord Asriel (Daniel Craig) from making a potentially life-altering discovery.

Then I realized that the reason I was confused wasn't because I'd never read the books — it was because this isn't a very effective movie. People who've read the books will no doubt debate about in the movie what was included, omitted or different from the book. (So I can't really get into an informed debate as to how all or most of the overtly religious references have been taken out). As for me as a relative newbie — I'm just trying to decide how this works as a movie.

What works is Richards, who proves to be a very capable and likable actress and a strong protagonist. What also works is casting strong actors like Daniel Craig and Eva Green (the great "Casino Royale" duo) in what amount to glorified cameos in this movie. They don't have much to do, but they still make a strong impression. I'm assuming they (especially Craig) probably have bigger roles in the later books/movies.

What worked best of all for me was Nicole Kidman as Mrs. Coulter, who was probably colder than much of the movie's icey setting. Mrs. Coulter takes Lyra under her wing, though it quickly becomes apparent she's up to no good. Kidman (and her fun wardrobe) seems to relish playing the villainess, and her scenes with Richards were probably the movie's strongest.

What sort of worked were the special effects. As I mentioned, some of the wonder is inevitably gone thanks to the glut of fantasy films, but any scene with (the ever-so-slightly cartoonish looking) Iorek Byrnison (voiced by Ian McKellen) was good, as were Lyra's interaction with her dæmon(voiced by Freddie Highmore). In this world, a person's soul lives outside their body as an animal and is called a dæmon(that part is pretty cool too).

What didn't work? Well, other than the jumble at the beginning, there's the title apparatus itself, the alethiometer (or golden compass, for slow people like me). The way Lyra reads the golden compass was confusing and disappointing (considering this is an object coveted by everyone in the movie). The pacing was rushed and disjointed, making the storyline a bit disorienting. More importantly, a lot of important characters aren't properly fleshed out. In addition to Lord Asriel, I feel like I have no idea who the gyptians or Sam Elliott's aeronaut cowboy (wha!?) or the witches were (led by Eva Green's Serafina Pekkala) or what their motivations are to stop the Magisterium.

That's another problem. We're given a very cartoony look at the villainous Magisterium as they wear dark robes, meet in secret and discuss their evil plans. It'd be nice to know about how or why they're so dedicated to their mission, but there's no time.

Sometimes, it just feels like the movie got away from director Chris Weitz, who's previous directing credits include the very entertaining, but decidedly un-epic "American Pie" and "About a Boy".

Finally, in a pretty presumptuous move, the movie (intentionally) fails to tie up a bunch of loose ends in anticipation of sequels. I realize there were "Lord or the Rings" and "Pirates" movies that kinda left us hanging, but the difference between those and "Compass" is that those movies already had sequels (and resolutions) in the can. Judging by its opening weekend gross, a "Compass" sequel is no slam dunk.

And therein lies the problem. While it's entertaining in spurts, and nice to look at, the movie's just not strong enough to stand on its own. It's not strong enough to stand on its own as the start of a potential blockbuster franchise (ala Harry Potter, etc) and it's not strong enough to stand on its own as a kickass fantasy movie. It kinda just leaves you hanging.

The Golden Compass...C+

Enchanted Review

It's not too often you actually get to watch someone become a star.

I watch a ton of movies and I see a ton of good work (and a ton of bad work), but when you see the right actor in the right role and see them command the screen and an entire movie for the first time it's special. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about and you all have your favorites (I can think of Jennifer Hudson in "Dreamgirls" just off the top of my head).

Amy Adams has been around a while. Hell, she's even been nominated for an Oscar already (for "Junebug"), so she's no rookie. She's been a solid actress for a good while, but with her role as Giselle in "Enchanted" she became a star.

Disney's latest is an animated/live-action hybrid that manages to both spoof and celebrate the company's own movie musicals. Giselle (Adams) is banished from her animated home by the evil Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon), who doesn't want Giselle to marry Prince Edward (James Marsden).

As you've probably seen from the previews, Giselle lands in present-day New York City and meets a kindly lawyer (Patrick Dempsey) with a cute little daughter (Rachel Covey) to help show us his tender side.

I won't tell you what happens from there on out, but you can probably figure it out, since this IS a Disney movie — and I mean that in the best possible sense of the word.

Adams is great as Giselle, who is a combination of Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel, Belle and other Disney princesses. She commits fully to the character and plays it endearingly and without irony, winning us over the way she does the characters in the film. She's got the Golden Globe for "Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical" sewn up and, in my world, would be up for an Oscar.

She's helped along by a few catch and witty songs by Alan Menken (Aladdin, Beauty & the Beast) and Stephen Schwartz that, like the movie, poke fun at Disney musicals, but are also good enough to be part of a Disney musical (like the "Happy Working Song"). My favorite was the park-set "That's How You Know" — if you're not charmed by this sequence (or at least crack a smile) then you're a heartless bastard and I feel sorry for you.

As for the rest of the cast, I'm no "Grey's Anatomy" fan, but Dempsey is decent as Robert. He has less to do as the straight man, but his reactions to all the wackiness around him are pretty solid.

James Marsden joins Thomas Jane on my list of guys who should be on Hollywood's A-list. Even though he's stuck playing the "other" guy again (see "X-Men", "The Notebook", "Superman Returns") he throws himself into the role and delivers good comedy relief. With this role (and his role in "Hairspray) and his past action-centric resume, is there anything this guy can't do?

The rest of the cast doesn't fare quite as well. Idina Menzel ("Rent", "Wicked") is woefully underused, while Susan Sarandon was flat-out bad as Queen Narissa. She was neither scary nor charismatic enough to match up to Disney's long history of scary and charismatic villains. The movie's special effects-heavy finale did not work for me at all.

Still, this is just a cute, good-natured flick that fans of Disney movies will probably enjoy (you can also pass the time by trying to spot the homages to past Disney films). As a bonus, you also get to see a real-live movie star being born right before your eyes.

Enchanted...B+

Project Runway Rundown: Out of Style

Sometimes I swear that reality show contestants have never watched a reality show in their lives.

Don't they know that, especially on this show, when you're forced to team up, you should never EVER volunteer to be captain. Sure, if you win, you get a nice little notice a bit of goodwill that will last you maybe one more week. But you still have to deal with managing and "leading" people who are your competitors and, eventually, want to see you go down. Also, if your team fails, you're probably going to be the one to go home.

Well, at least Victorya (pictured, left) seemed to know this.

How else to explain the apparently bossy Queen Victorya not stepping up and accepting leadership of her team, which consisted of Ricky and spacey Elisa, but still trying to run things behind the scene. Sure, it's decent strategy, but it's also extremely gutless. And I hate gutless people. Now I kinda can't stand Victorya. I liked her better when the most interesting thing about her was the stupid way she spelled her name.

After Jack inexplicably switched models with Ricky (homeboy did NOT have a good week), the designers met up with a "familiar face" who brought along some "old friends". And although it turned out to be Nina Garcia and the designers would be working with garish fashion don'ts (like neon, shoulder pads and pleather), they all seemed considerably less horrified than when they had to simply design menswear.

There WAS a nice little twist when Nina announced that they would be partnering up in teams of three. Even though they claimed they tried to team up based on what looks would work together, it seemed to me like people mostly just got together with whoever was in their immediate vicinity (like when you needed a lab partner in high school).

Some of the highlights from the teams working together included the revelation that Ricky can apparently speak "Elisa", as he was able to communicate with her because he's a dancer (hokay). Jillian, who was voted team leader because she's actually into some of the crappy fashion trends they were working with, fretted about Kevin's ability to finish denim shorts. Eventually Kevin came through, though I was disappointed that he didn't attribute his achievement to him being the only straight guy in the competition.

On the other hand, some of the lowlights included Victorya undermining Ricky's leadership at every point (and Ricky being too weak to stand up to her). We also got Christian being cocky some more. He's a good designer, and he makes me laugh just by looking at him and some of the ridiculous things he says, but he's cocky as hell for a designer who's pretty one-note. Also, Steven busted out a truly pathetic Tim Gunn impersonation that left me missing Santino's brilliant take a whole bunch.

In the runway, Jillian's team took the week's victory (I think I actually saw Christian shitting a brick), while Chris was taken to task for not making his collection cohesive (and for a truly awful non-"update" on shoulder pads). Ricky's team joined Chris' in the bottom two, and the judges said Ricky's design was the weakest in the collection (personally, I thought Victorya's superhero-ish outfit was worse).

This was probably the most entertaining judging portion this year as Victorya and Ricky went after each other a bit, though thankfully Victorya DID give Ricky credit for pointing out that maybe squishing her models boobs wasn't the best idea in the world. Then when Heidi asked each designer who should go home on each team, I loved how Elisa refused to pick anyone other than herself (you know you're in trouble when Elisa is the steady one on your team). Also when Sweet P hesitated, I liked how Heidi got momentarily scary when imploring her for an answer.

Eventually, it came down to likable Chris and Ricky. Although Chris's outfit was worse, I kinda expected Ricky to go home, since he's been near the bottom three out of four weeks. Even though I like Chris, I felt he deserved to go home because, you know, his outfit was the worst. Also, the judges smartly recognized that Ricky's outfit probably suffered because he sort of had a horrible team.

So what'd you think of this episode? How many more lives does Ricky have? Isn't Sweet P, and her flustered, self-deprecating demeanor CLEARLY the most endearing contestant on there, now that Chris is gone? Finally, what do you think the big emotional revelation involving Jack will be next week?

America's Next Top Recap: Off the Wall

I mean, if America doesn't give a damn about the final four for Cycle 9 of "America's Next Top Model", then why should I?

How do I know that America doesn't care? Last night, Heather was the winner of the coveted "Cover Girl of the Week" fan voting for approximately the 72nd consecutive week last night. For those of you just joining us, Heather was eliminated last week. I mean, I've never voted for "Cover Girl of the Week" so I didn't even know it was possible for someone who wasn't there to win? Are their names still up there or did people write-in their vote?

I went into last night with half-hearted enthusiasm and I came out with mixed reactions.

Let's talk about the stuff I was enthusiastic for — Bianca is gone. That's about it. I mean, that's a pretty big and significant point, and when it came down to Bianca and Jenah, I surprised myself by how much I was rooting for Jenah.

And it wasn't even because, during the runway challenge, Bianca tricked Jenah into going across the street to look for accessories that weren't there for their outfits. I mean, has Jenah MET Bianca? Why would she trust her? Bianca's a bitch, but that's Jenah's fault for being stupid and believing her. It was because that damn Bianca just would NOT shut up. She had something to say about everything (wonder what her thoughts on Darfur are?) and it was pretty much always inane. That and she completely dissed the heartfelt letter Heather left behind for the girls.

The rest of the episode was just a big bag of "eh". I mean, if the models couldn't get excited (or keep a straight face) during the four beauties show (lamely) presented by Ms. J (who did the thing where he went out of his way to try to properly pronounce Chinese words) and Twiggy why should I care? I DID enjoy Bianca looking around and asking, "is that it?"

The girl's were given one hour to shop for accessories and present their interpretations of the four beauties for a runway show. Fortunately, they appeared to be paying more attention than I was (all I heard was something about a making a flower jealous) because, for the most part, they came up with thoughtful accessories to their outfits. Well, except maybe for Chantal, whose critique consisted of the Seventeen magazine editrix telling her that she liked her yellow shoes. Jenah deservedly won after updating her outfit.

Later, Tyra (pictured, right, taking a picture) made her predictable late-in-the-game appearance to photograph the girls by the Great Wall. I mean, I know that Tyra has some experience as a photographer, but shouldn't such a relatively important shoot (the one before the final) be handled by, you know, a REAL photographer? I get that Tyra wants to spend time with the girls and get a sense of how they are on set, but I just did not get this week's shoot.

They were supposed to be fiercely growling at invaders on the other side of the Great Wall (or something) but what we got were dark pictures where the girls were told to be jumping (for some reason) and we could only see about 23 percent of their faces.

The best (and only good photo) was Saleisha who (surprise) looked at the camera and the worst was Bianca, who managed to blow the one photo shoot where looking like a bitch would've worked for her.

In the end, Bianca was kicked off. Not because she was a she-beast, but because modeling didn't come as naturally for her as it did for the others. WHATEVER. As long as she's gone I don't care. Nigel and the rest of the judges took time out from hating Jenah this week. Instead, Tyra made her cry by making her talk about how much she missed her family before telling her that this was "the best experience of her life". Thank you for telling me what the best experience of another person's life is Tyra. You hadn't done something outwardly crazy in a few weeks. I kinda missed that.

So what'd you think of this episode? Am I the only one who thought that Jenah and Chantal looked EXACTLY like the same person when done up for their Great Wall shoot? Also, I can't be the only one who was completely confused when the judges praised her look in the group picture? What sort of blackmail material does Chantal have on the judges to make them praise her after weeks and weeks of mediocrity?Is there any way in hell Chantal will actually win this thing? Would Chantal be the worst winner in "Top Model" history ? (I'll take this question — yes.) Also, how cool is it that I got to legitimately use the word "editrix" in this recap?

Finally, who ya got? I'm thinking newly-high fashion Saleisha will win and become the first winner of a modeling competition with an ugly bowl cut. Still, I'm voting for Heather, running into the ring, taking out the final two with a steel chair and taking the title she deserves.

NFL Week 14 Picks

Hey. You'll never guess what my record was last week. It was 10-6! Can you believe it? I mean, that's never happened before. So after another week of just John being John (10-6 week, 113-69 overall), I'm just going to give into it and go for another 10-6 week. So here are the picks.

CHICAGO @ WASHINGTON
Aaaand, the NFL Network is back to showing games I don't care about. People in Chicago and Washington should care seeing as how the loser of this game will be done for the season (assuming both 5-7 teams aren't done already). Both of these underwhelming teams also probably should've won last week, but I think Chicago looks slightly better at this point.

MIAMI @ BUFFALO
So Miami gets torched at home by the NY freakin' Jets and I'm supposed to believe they're not going winless this year. Expect them to play even worse in the miserably cold weather in Buffalo.

ST. LOUIS @ CINCINNATI
Well, my fantasy football season is over, so I'm done caring about the Bengals and Carson Palmer. So, look for him to light it up with 4TDs or something.

DALLAS @ DETROIT
Somebody catch the Lions. On second thought, you'd better not risk it. They're falling too fast and you might hurt yourself if you try to break their fall.

OAKLAND @ GREEN BAY
Will Brett Favre play? It doesn't really matter, because backup Aaron Rodgers dusted off the cob webs and proved that he could actually play a little bit, so I expect the Pack to win against the newly-frisky Raiders no matter who plays at QB. Still, let's not lose our minds here. If Green Bay wants to go somewhere this year, they need the good Brett Favre back, not the bad Favre that threw for fifty-something yards and two picks before getting hurt.

SAN DIEGO @ TENNESSEE
It finally looks like San Diego is back on track this season. So I'm taking the Titans because everytime it looks like they're back on track, they lose a game they should win. Also, Vince Young finally decided to not play awful.

NY GIANTS @ PHILADELPHIA (mini-upset)
Sorry, but the Giants should've lost against the Bears. Devin Hester dropped a wide open touchdown catch and Eli Manning still looked mostly bad. I don't like them to win going up against Feely, I mean Philly. Eli MUST want Donovan McNabb (both pictured, left) to come back to this game so he won't have to be the only much-maligned QB on the field. It's always nicer to have someone share in your malignitude (malignness?!) Meanwhile, I'll go and try to figure out who's hated the most.

CAROLINA @ JACKSONVILLE
Even though Jacksonville's still not ready to beat the Colts, they're more than ready to beat Carolina, who contacted me earlier in the week to play QB. Not a good sign.

TAMPA BAY @ HOUSTON (upset!)
Hey, I might actually pay attention to Houston this week. And I also like them to win, not because they're better, but because I fear the Bucs might take a mental nap after pretty much wrapping up the division when New Orleans gave them the game last week.

MINNESOTA @ SAN FRANCISCO
Now that Tarvaris Jackson is actually playing like an NFL quarterback, the Vikings have a team who is great at running the ball AND plays solid defense. Why would I pick against them right now?

ARIZONA @ SEATTLE (mini-upset)
I actually like Arizona to win this game and stay in the division up. Even though they embarrassingly lost to San Fran a few weeks back the Cardinals have looked pretty good, whereas Seattle is a solid second to Houston in my forgettability scale.

PITTSBURGH @ NEW ENGLAND
Even though their last two games have been scary close, there's no way I'm jumping off the Patriots-are-going-undefeated bandwagon. You can go ahead if you want, but the Patriots have OWNED Pittsburgh over the past few years, and then they have Miami and the Jets to deal with over the next few weeks.

CLEVELAND @ NY JETS
This should actually be one of the most entertaining games of the week, since both teams are so bad on defense. Yes, I just mentioned the words "most entertaining games of the week" in a contest involving the Jets. Still, I think Cleveland will get back on track after a close loss to Arizona.

KANSAS CITY @ DENVER
I mean, I expected you to be bad, KC, but what the hell is your excuse Denver?! I shake my head sadly at you.

INDIANAPOLIS @ BALTIMORE
Sure, the Ravens (especially their defense) played inspired football in their game against the Patriots. But did you see the way they totally lost their cool at the end. They were acting like a bunch of lunatic and babies (lunatic babies?). That right there is exactly why the Ravens are losers and the Patriots (and the Colts) are winners.

NEW ORLEANS @ ATLANTA
What's the opposite of compelling? Well that's what this game is. It's so uninteresting, that I'm surprised the NFL Network didn't pick this game up.

Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: A Dose of Reality

Last week, when I saw the gimmicky previews for this week's episode, I was slightly afraid that we might be in for an episode almost as bad as last year's when we saw all the characters in the future. Sorry, but "Conor McNamara, 2026" is the Worst. Episode. Ever.

So I was pleasantly surprised to see that what could've been a painful hour turned out to be one of the loosest, enjoyable episodes of the season. And speaking of Conor, we also found out that he's apparently been with Julia and Olivia this whole time in Cali! (I'm not the only one who never noticed this before, right?)

With Christian still desperate for the spotlight, he agreed to let a camera crew film McNamara/Troy at work for a new reality show called "Plastic Fantastic" (loved the cheesy animated opening sequence.) In fact, I love how the show completely threw itself into its reality-show conceit, unlike an earlier episode of "House" this year, which also featured a camera crew, but switched back and forth from the camera's point of view to the characters'.

I enjoyed the over-the-top editing tricks, and the animated graphics and music cues the reality show producers used to spice up their subjects (such as the Middle-eastern music cue after Sean mentioned a belly dancer Christian had been in bed with). I also liked the donkey and other cutesy symbols used to censor Eden's mouth when she burst into the operating room and started cursing up a storm.

Even though they brought back her character from rehab a lot sooner than I expected, I probably enjoyed her character the most last night. Eden showed a softer side, by lying to Sean and claiming that she made up the fact that Christian and Julia had slept together to protect his feelings. And even though I enjoyed seeing that softer side, and I like that the producers allowed AnnaLynn McCord to play it, I'm not buying it for a second.

Unfortunately, Sean is, as evidenced by their kiss last night, which, I guess was supposed to be hot, but, since he had been comforting her a few minutes earlier, came off a bit pervy for my taste.

Another thing I enjoyed last night was the patient, Daniel Sands. He was an older male escort who recognized Christian from his new night job, and perhaps gave the doctor a glimpse of his own future, which might help explain why Christian is so desperate to become famous (other than being a massive egomaniac, of course). I liked Christian's exchange with Sean toward the end, where Sean finally acknowledged that he loved being the hot one, but my favorite part was Sean's response to Christian's accusation that Sean would even pimp himself out to appear on "Celebrity Fit Club": "I'm not fat! I'm in terrific shape!"

I mean, I even liked it when New York dropped by to school Christian on being a reality show personality ("Be more interesting, create conflict, but deny responsibility"). For some reason, she didn't offer any advice on how to respond if someone spits in your mouth.

That conflict led to another one of my favorites AND my absolute least favorite part of the episode. On one hand, Liz (pictured, right) got more screentime than she's had in forever, and a real live plotline, as it appears she's fallen for Julia's girlfriend Olivia. On the other hand, that led to more screentime for Julia, the absolute worst character on the show and someone we keep being force fed. Honestly, I can't stand to look at her, and especially can't stand to hear her talk.

It came out that Liz doesn't think Julia's a lesbian (which is clearly true), but Christian took New York's advice and created conflict by telling Julia about Olivia and Liz's kiss. I get that Olivia and Julia together is an appealing match for the two of them because they can pretty much wear all the same skinny blonde chick clothes from each other's closets. But I'd love to see Olivia with Liz, mostly because I wouldn't mind seeing Liz with a solid love interest (Alanis Morissette's Poppy turned out to be a bitch almost right away), but also because Olivia can do better than whiny, needy Julia.

So what'd you think of this episode? Why no mention of the fact that the boys' new publicist, Bliss Berger, was a patient from a few years ago (she had fat trimmed from her arms to meet an online date, who turned out to be an ugly guy)? Did you miss Matt and Kimber at all in this episode? Finally, wouldn't Christian be a lot more likely to wind up in "Celebrity Fit Club" than Sean?

Heroes: Generations Gap

Well, you gotta give it to "Heroes" — they actually decided to kill off characters people give a damn about.

You know what I'm talking about. Usually, whenever a show promises that one of the characters is going to die, the person who gets bumped off is the neighbor's cousin's brother-in-law who nobody really liked to begin with. So in that regard, the end of "Heroes: Volume Two, Generations" delivered.

In fact, I'd say the episode, while far from perfect, delivered in most aspects.

That included some actual hero-on-hero action. Actually, it was hero-on-Hiro, as the latter tried to stop Peter and Adam from releasing the virus. Again, I realize this show will never have the Spider Man 3's budget, but there are ways to make up for that in cleverness, and the mini-fight between Peter and Hiro in the beginning (with time frozen) was an example of that.

Of course, all of this was mildly undermined by the fact that Peter continued to be a gigantic idiot. I mean, even as they were disposing of disposable henchmen on the way to the vault, and Peter was questioning Adam's motives, he continued marching on like the vacant puppet he's become. Remember when this guy used to be the heart and soul of this show?! Anyway, he finally came to his senses with a little help from his brother, but not before taking out Parkman. He also rushed into the vault to stop and destroy the virus Adam had dropped from being released.

Two things the show did really well here: 1) Teasing us with the contents of that vault. There was a brain, a key and several other bits and pieces that I found more interesting than the actual teaser with Sylar at the end. 2.) I can't think of a better way for Hiro to deal with the immortal Adam (outside of slicing his head off and being rid of him, of course) than sticking him in a grave as he did. Well played, writers.

Even though I still wonder whether Peter's stupid Irish girlfriend is still stuck in some dystopian possible future or safe at home (oh wait, I really don't care), I really liked the way Volume Two's virus-themed plotline was resolved and hinted at things to come (the vault).

Everything else not so much. I mean, the Nikki (pictured, left) storyline wasn't too bad. With help from Micah, she rescued the captured Monica from a burning building (nice nod to DL's short-lived firefighting career), but couldn't get out herself.

It's a shame to lose a character we've been with since the very first episode, but her storyline had mostly run its course. She had been the unstoppable killing machine, the conflicted heroine who could sort of control her powers, and the relatively powerless mom she ended up as. Although we saw that she had other personalities buried within her, I wasn't really excited for another season's worth of good Nikki/bad whoever. Also, this opens up more opportunities for the now-orphaned Micah, who I always sorta found more interesting than either of his parents.

Two people I've never found interesting collided as Maya finally got to meet Mohinder, thanks to Sylar. After learning he had been injected by the Company and stripped of his power, Sylar demanded that Mohinder cure him of the virus. To make sure Mohinder was using the right cure, he shot Maya (yay!) and waited till she was brought back to life (boo!). Unfortunately, right as it looked like Sylar was about to take everyone out, Elle (trying to impress her dad) showed up and stopped Sylar from killing the good guys. I'm supposed to be happy about the fact that she saved the good guys, right? Sorry.

It's too bad too, because last night was the first time I actually enjoyed Elle. She was vulnerable and just wanted her daddy to like her. It was a lot more endearing than Elle's interpretation of what a badass should act like. I actually enjoyed her much more than Claire, who seemed on the verge of crying the entire episode and was upset about bringing down the company. I get that she thinks she lost her dad, but, as West brought up, why the obsession with taking down the company?

Fortunately, her dad turned up (in a nice emotional moment) to tell Claire to stop what she was doing because he'd ensured their safety by going back to work for the company and that he'd never be able to see her again. Fine then.

Claire wasn't the only one bowing to expose the company. Her (biological) dad was in the middle of a makeshift press conference to announce the same when he was gunned down. What is it about Texas and assassinations, anyway? I don't really get why everyone thinks exposing the company is the best way to go. I mean, as far as I can tell, with the older heroes dead, the Company consists of Bob, Elle, maybe Angela, and a bunch of inept henchman whose job is to get their ass kicked by Peter. Why not just go in there and clean house? THAT'S revenge.

I'm also not buying Nathan's death nearly as much as I am Nikki. I don't mean that I don't believe he's dead (I actually think that Nikki has a better chance of being alive), but I don't buy it as much dramatically. This one smells more of wanting to shock an audience.

Since the beginning, Nathan's ALWAYS been the one who has resisted acknowledging his abilities. I know the character's been through a traumatic experience and lost his family, but I'm not quite ready to believe he's ready to reveal what he is to the rest of the world. The main problem is that we hadn't actually seen Nathan in about a month (mostly a result of all the scattered and uneven storylines), so we didn't actually get to see what was supposed to be a major shift in his character play out. Instead, he just sort of decided, while standing in that vault that this would be the best thing to do.

And I'm REALLY going to miss Adrian Pasdar on the show. In a LARGE cast which can be up-and-down, he was always solid, and easily radiated authority. The character also had an underrated sense of humor that was on display in his scenes with Hiro, and last night in his brief sorta-rough landing from flying with Parkman (which apparently wasn't good for either of them).

So do you think this season finale delivered? Whose "World's Greatest Dad" apron was Maya wearing, Mohinder or Parkman? When (not if) will Adam return? Did the teaser for Volume 3 (which sort of ripped off the ending of X-Men: The Last Stand) get you excited for the return of "Heroes"? I've had my complaints about the show this year, but I'm certainly going to miss it. Any chance Nikki or Nathan aren't dead? Finally, who shot Nathan and who was his mom talking to on the phone about his death?

No Country For Old Men Review

I consider myself to be a pretty intelligent individual, and a particularly discerning moviegoer who doesn't need to have everything spoon-fed to him, but honestly — someone needs to email me, or call me or facebook me or whatever to explain the last 20 minutes of this movie.

Honestly, I want to understand it, because the first 100 minutes of "No Country for Old Men" were some of the finest and definitely the most suspenseful in any movie this year.

The Coen Bros. adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's novel is brilliantly acted, beautifully shot and I just don't want my final impression of such a fantastic movie to be complete bewilderment.

The story concerns a welder named Llewelyn Moss who stumbles across a bunch of dead bodies and a bag full of $2 million. Of course when that much money goes missing, there are going to be people looking for it, and Moss spends most of the movie avoiding the shady figures on the trail of the cash, including the psychotic Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) and easygoing, reflective Sheriff Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones).

To give away more would be to deprive you of some of the most effective suspense I've seen in a long time. The Coens effectively choose to do away with most of the quirks that usually populate their movies (quirks that I thoroughly enjoy, by the way) like "Fargo", "The Big Lebowski" and "O' Brother Where Art Thou". They also use stunning cinematography. Those Texas plains look incredible, and tiny motel rooms are appropriately claustrophobic and come off as the scariest places in the world. Cinematographer Roger Deakins has the Oscar in the bag.

The performances are also fantastic. Josh Brolin continues his winning streak (after impressing in Death Proof, In the Valley of Elah and American Gangster) this year as the resourceful Moss. Many of his scenes include little or no dialogue, but Brolin (with help from the Coens) still makes Moss compelling and someone you can become invested in.

Tommy Lee Jones is also terrific as the folksy Sheriff Bell, making his character feel essential to the film despite the fact that he remains in the periphery for the most part. Woody Harrelson (as another party interested in the money) and Kelly Macdonald (as Moss's wife) also make strong impressions in smaller roles.

Then there's soon-to-be Oscar nominee Javier Bardem as Chigurh, who's crated one of the scariest film villains of the new millennium. His imposing figure, dorky haircut, creative killing methods and out-of-place Spanish accent only add to the character's mystique, lending him an almost supernatural aura.

And that's actually, I think, where the Coens kinda lost me. ***POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT, BUT NOT REALLY*** I don't dare give away too much or anything of the ending, but I'll just say (having never read the novel on which the movie was based) that the film's detour into the sublime was a bit too jarring for my taste because it followed what was mostly a relatively straightforward thriller.

Now here's what I'm NOT going to do. I'm not going to proclaim the ending is brilliant just because I don't understand it, so it must mean that its artistry is dazzling beyond my understanding.

Another thing I'm not going to do completely is trash it the final sequence of events because I don't get it. Like I said, to me, this was a relatively straightforward thriller until the jarring detour, but I commend the Coens for trying to do something unexpected (or staying faithful to the book, which very well may be as confusing).

This movie is just too good to be completely dismissed in that way, but by the same token, an ending that may have worked in novel form may not necessarily work cinematically. So for now, I'm going ahead and faulting the Coens in that regard.

Still, I'm not ashamed to admit that I've already gone online to try to decipher that final sequence. Also, I'm already looking forward to watching "No Country for Old Men" again with a more watchful eye and trying to interpret the film's finale and fully appreciate one of the country's best filmmakers at the top of their games.

I can't think of too many other movies that made me want to do all of THAT this year.

No Country For Old Men...B

Desperate Housewives: Gone with the Wind

Even though last night's episode was not an official season finale, it sure felt like one.

Sure there are no new episodes scheduled to air for the foreseeable future (due to the writers' strike), and the fourth season of "Desperate Housewives" was cut short as a result. Still, I'm going to give credit to everyone involved (especially the ABC promo department) for really making this feel like something bigger than your average mid-season episode and mostly delivering on that promise.

I say "mostly" because with the premise of a tornado (rendered through pretty-impressive-for-TV special effects) hitting Wisteria Lane, the show had a great opportunity to blow away tiresome and/or useless characters.

The show opened promisingly enough, with Mary Alice's voice-over announcing the housewives would say goodbye to a friend loved by all, and one of them would lose a husband.

I was hoping they'd use the opportunity to knock off Mike, who this week graduated from drug addiction to domestic abuse. After Susan left an uncharacteristically brief note in his pill bottle "See Me, Susan", the two had a confrontation which ended with Susan falling down the stairs. I was glad to see the fall didn't result in Susan losing her baby because that's exactly how Gabby lost her baby two years ago. Still, even punching a hospital worker and lying to Susan about being willing to go to rehab didn't make Mike very interesting.

I'm sorry, but James Denton is just not a strong enough actor to either make us feel sorry for Mike, be scared of him or want him to get better. In short, we don't care. If only that tornado had hit anywhere near the hospital.

I also wouldn't have minded if the tornado took out Edie, whose character now only exists to thwart Gabby and Carlos' happiness. Honestly, whenever she shows up on screen and comes up with a new way to mess with Gabby and Carlos (this week it was thanks to some young loudmouth bottled water salesman), I'd just roll my eyes and remember the good old days when this character was, you know, fun.

At least we got a little bit of that back last night after a brief, but good fight between Edie and Gabby over Carlos' financial papers (whoops! There goes access to his $10 million) and a refreshingly unsentimental bonding scene in Edie's crawl space in which Gabby apologized to Edie for hurting her, and Edie decided she'd be happier if she could go on hating Gabby.

Down the block, Carlos was making a similar apology to Victor (ah, symmetry), who wasn't buying it. Apparently, he wasn't buying any time down at the shooting range either because he missed two relatively easy shots at Carlos. I guess that's what happens when you have goons usually take care of your business. The tussle ended with Victor being impaled by a white picket fence (I'm guessing he was the dead husband) and Carlos knocked out cold by debris (I'm assuming he'll be fine).

Someone who's definitely not fine is Adam's crazy stalker Sylvia, who showed up to cause more trouble for the Mayfairs. After being spat on by Katherine (gross!), Bree comforted her in hopes of finding more dirt on her secretive new neighbors. Turns out Adam DID have an affair with Ms. Crazy, as was confirmed by her knowledge of his snake tattoo.

To be honest, I don't really care about any of that stuff, as much as I enjoy any scene between Marcia Cross and the scary Dana Delaney. Katherine immediately recognized Bree's intentions behind comforting Sylvia, but by the end of the episode, the two had forged what may be called a bond. Wonder how long that'll last.

Then there's Lynette (pictured, left) and her intense scream from the previews. For most of the episode it looked like Mrs. McCluskey might be the "one loved by all" to be taken out by the twister, especially after she called out Lynette for only being her friend when Lynette needed something. So you figure, Lynette hears this, realizes it's true, start to apologize to Mrs. McCluskey, but can't finish because the old lady gets killed.

And we were certainly headed that way, after Mrs. McCluskey went out into the storm to retrieve her neighbor Ida's cat. But surprisingly, the two emerged relatively unscathed from the storm. The problem is that we may not be able to say the same about her family, who was seeking refuge in Mrs. McCluskey's refuge when the house was completely flattened by the tornado. Good cliffhanger because I'm eager to see how (most of) these storylines get resolved.

So what'd you think of this episode? Any chance the show will actually play the amnesia card when Carlos comes to? Where were Bob and Lee during the hurricane? A gay cruise? Finally, is Lynette's entire family really dead? Are ANY of them even hurt?