Project Runway: New York State of Mind

Here I was, all set for the elimination of Michael C.

I mean, there was no way the judges were going to send a cheater and saboteur who can’t sew, construct or walk and chew gum at the same time to Fashion Week, right?!

Instead, not only did Michael C. (pictured, right) advance to the finals, but the judges absolutely ADORED his black, drape-y Statue of Liberty gown.

The “I’m about to shit a brick” looks on Gretchen and April’s faces during Michael C’s glowing evaluation were my second-favorite moments of the season, just behind Ivy’s elimination. Speaking of Ivy, I think I heard her howl in pain last night as she watched the end of this episode at home. (The sounds came from below because she lives in hell.)

This week’s challenge (presented by Tim and New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg, doing a fine job acting like he gives a crap about this show) was to create a garment inspired by anything in NYC.

Mondo and April both gravitated toward the Brooklyn Bridge, Andy headed to Central Park, Gretchen felt uninspired by the Lower East Side (perhaps she should have moved on to a different location), and Michael C. picked the Statue of Liberty.

My feeling at the start that Michael C. was going home persisted throughout pretty much the entire episode. His design for his gown seemed to be, at best, way too simple and, at worst, way too literal. The fact that we later found out that he didn’t exactly know what material he was working with kind of showed why everyone thinks he’s a clown. (Though it certainly doesn’t excuse their cruel behavior.)

Michael C. wasn’t the only one struggling. Besides Gretchen’s lack of inspiration, color-happy Mondo was going to use a green sequin, but had to ditch it, partly because he took too long of a nap on the first day. (He’s right: his rivals probably wanted him to sleep a whole week.) Andy designed something that Gretchen likened to a Chinese prostitute. (She was on to something.)

Then there was April.

If you’ve read this recap before, you know I’ve been calling her out on her infatuation with black, “edgy” garments for a while now. Last night, for the first time, we saw people on the show take her to task for the sameness in her design aesthetic.

First, Tim tried to implore her to think about switching up her color (which led to her hilariously pushing back the black fabric she’d picked out). The only problem is that she ended up with black anyway. Oh but wait! The black was accompanied by…dark blue! (And was anyone else slightly freaked out that her model was done up to look exactly like her?)

Despite agreeing with every single word the judges said about her “pregnant witch” garment, (Michael Kors looked like he was going to fall asleep just talking about the black, and the asymmetry, and the zzzzz….) I don’t put all the blame at her feet. As you may have heard, April is 21 and doesn’t have as much experience as her competitors. Most importantly, the judges didn’t do her any favors by failing to call her out for something she’s done all season until last night. In the end, Michael Kors summed it up perfectly when he said, “There’s no joy in your clothes.” (And there’s no joy in April, which is why it’s hard to get broken up about her getting the boot.)

In fact, I would’ve been perfectly ok with the judges kicking out TWO people last night and showing Gretchen the door as well. Other than the skirt (which I actually kinda liked), her “midtown” Lower East Side outfit was a clunker. Then again, if we could only lose one of the Terrible Two from last night, I’m glad we ditched April because, at least, Gretchen’s astonishing ego is hilarious.

Where do I start? I love the way she pumped herself up. (Come on, Jones!) Or how about the part where she said that Michael C. reminded her of herself…five years ago. (Even when insulting people, she makes it about her.) Or how about he most egregious example, in which she complained about being “tired” and “sick of the challenges”. (Have you SEEN this show? Take a nap like Mondo if you’re sleepy). She also expressed frustration about having to “edit” herself on the one of few challenges this season that gave them an incredible amount of creative freedom. Say what you will, but her brand of crazy is compelling.

Gretchen joins Andy (who made a chic sexy/slutty outfit whose main problem was that it had NOTHING to do with Central Park) and What John Thinks favorites Michael C. and Mondo in the finale.

While I thought Michael C’s dress was lovely (and fantastic in motion), I was surprised by how much the judges were in love with it. (I thought they’d call him out for not being ambitious enough.) Then again, Michael C. seemed more concerned in creating something that he thought was beautiful and that would make his model look beautiful, and less worried about stubbornly sticking to his “point of view” and trying to tell the judges what they should think is good design.

Then there’s Mondo. Not only did he prove he could deliver without a colorful print, but he also won some major cool points by being the one designer who said Michael C. deserved to go to the finals. When asked, most designers blathered on about potential and aesthetics (and a lot of people picked April), but Mondo took Michael C’s resilience and willingness to grown, learn and improve (imagine that!) into account.

At the risk of drowning you in Mondo propaganda, the guy has proven to be the best designer and the best person on the show this season based on what we’ve seen.

So what’d you think of this episode? Where does cheap date Michael C’s impression of Michael K. rank in the “Project Runway” canon? (I have it just one notch underneath Santino’s classic Tim Gunn impersonation – it was pretty damn good!) What’d you think of Christian Siriano as a guest judge? (He seemed a little off on his critiques, but that served as a great reminder that guest judges have never seen these people’s work before.) Finally, there’s no way Mondo doesn’t win, right?

Project Runway: That Girl is Poison (Ivy)

I believe we just went from the most emotional, heartfelt episode in “Project Runway” history to its absolute nastiest in the space of a single week.

It was tense enough seeing Heidi square off against testy Mondo and Gretchen in the workroom, but things reached another level with the return of (SHUDDER) Ivy. (Anyone else get an instant sense of dread as soon as Tim announced that the designers would have “help” to complete the collections and realized that meant the return of former contestants?)

(Here’s a quick catch-up of my feelings on Ivy, in case you’re just joining this recap: whether she’s actually this terrible or the show is making her look that way to goose the drama, I hate her and think she’s pretty much the worst person in the history of EVER. That is all.)

It didn’t help that last night’s challenge was probably one of the most frustrating in the show’s entire run. In creating an active wear look for Heidi’s New Balance collection, the designers were severely limited in what fabrics and colors they could use. As if that weren’t bad enough, they learned halfway through that they’d have to create two additional looks.

The two designers who seemed to be having the most trouble were Mondo (who was deprived of his precious prints) and Gretchen (who disagreed with and resented the entire premise of Heidi’s dreary collection — she’s annoying, but she had a point). When Heidi stopped by the workroom to check on their progress, Mondo was giving off some serious ‘tude and I was glad to see Heidi call him out on it. Gretchen, meanwhile, gets offended by the very notion that someone wouldn’t find anything she’s created brilliant.

The reason Mondo is going to win this season and the reason Gretchen will fight it out with April for that third slot in the finals is because Mondo was able to bounce back and deliver for his client, while Gretchen petulantly completed the challenge and wound up in the bottom three.

The early workroom scenes also yielded two Ivy burns I thoroughly enjoyed before I realized she’d be popping up again. Burn #1: Heidi wondering aloud who was it that said that Michael C. couldn’t sew. (“Oh that’s right, she’s not here anymore.”) Burn #2: April saying that Mondo without his prints would be nothing…basically an Ivy design.

Speaking of April, I actually think she’s, arguably, the season’s biggest winner (besides Mondo). Any other season, April’s relentlessly scowly stank face and her complete unpleasantness would’ve branded HER as the villain. But with Ivy and Gretchen around, April has mostly sailed under the bitch radar.

Of course, that didn’t stop April from being the one person who patted Ivy on the back after she accused Michael C. of cheating in the sewing room. (Wait, wha?!?!)

I should’ve known something was up when Ivy struck up a conversation with Michael C., but the cheating accusation still felt like a bomb. (For the record, he stands accused of using a sticky material so that his models boobs didn’t fall out of his Jackie O dress a few weeks ago.) As if the accusation wasn’t bad enough, Ivy went on to accuse Michael of sabotaging other contestants (like who?!) and saying that his kids would be ashamed watching him. (Sure Ivy…it’s his family that will be ashamed.)

Tim, ever the voice of reason, came up to the workroom and basically said it was a he said/(that’s what)she said issue, and that it was dead because there was no proof and no cameras caught the alleged wrongdoing. (Curiously enough, no cameras caught Michael C. calling “the bitch of the show” either, which was Ivy’s previous accusation.)

The worst part of all this is that Ivy doesn’t get it. Besides April, every other designer (including Michael C. Sucks Club founder Gretchen said Ivy’s antics were counterproductive) seemed like they were rolling their eyes at Ivy, especially when she ran up to people and told them she took one “for the team.” (What team?!) What’s more, everyone who has worked with Michael C. so far (like A.J. last night) has said glowing things about him as a person, so why should anyone believe anything Ivy has to say. (At least the editors threw us a terrific bone last night by showing us Ivy talking about how she believes in karma and immediately following that up with her getting nailed in the eye while sewing.)

Anyway, let’s stop talking about the horrible person and get back to talking about the horrible challenge.

With six people left, Heidi declared a top 3 and a bottom 3. I’m convinced that April (who dared to branch out from black to gray this week) was in the top 3 by default. Again, it’s good that she has a point of view and that her aesthetic is instantly recognizable, but her clothes looked more like formal wear, resort wear (and lingerie) than active wear. That left Mondo (without his prints, he found a way to “thoughtfully” introduce shapes into his outfit with his headband accessories) and Andy to battle for the top spot with Andy (and his fun, funky prints) taking home the much-deserved win. (One of the few times this year’s we’ve been able to say that.)

The bottom 3 was comprised of Michael C. (whose time on the show is running out), Gretchen (“I disagree Heidi…”) and Christopher. Since the judges appeared to have more issues with Gretchen and Michael C.’s styling choices (Michael C. needs a Piperlime.com tutorial), Christopher (whose clothes was deemed “inexpensive” looking) was a goner. I’d love to say that he’ll be missed, but I didn’t mention him until this paragraph, so that’s just not true. Still, my girlfriend declared that the show got a lot less good looking with his departure.

Not going to lie — would’ve liked to see Gretchen get a bottom-two scare after her immature performance on the “Runway”, even if her brand of delusion (unlike Ivy’s) is actually kind of entertaining. I mean, it’s not possible that Gretchen’s design was bad…the reason she was in the bottom 3 is because Heidi HATES her.

So what’d you think of this episode? What other English words can’t Heidi say? (Although I’m sure her English is better than my German, I thoroughly enjoyed her misadventures with “hodgepodge.”) Which designer were you happiest to see back? (Altogether now: CASANOOOOVA.) Finally, is there anyone out there who’s actually on Ivy’s side?

Project Runway: Focusing on the Positive

It’s pretty obvious that Mondo is going to win “Project Runway.”

I realize this isn’t exactly a newsflash to anyone right now, but, believe it or not, I had this thought just BEFORE I sat down to watch last night’s episode, the reality show’s most emotional installment.

(I’d been on vacation, and I wanted to be caught up by last night so I actually came to my conclusion after watching Mondo pull out the win in last week’s episode. That episode is better known as, “The Feel-Good 90 Minutes of the Year” – What John Thinks, following Ivy’s elimination. I literally high-fived my girlfriend and did a little dance to the “Project Runway” elimination ditty.)

The fact that this episode turned out to be so emotional was especially devastating because it seemed to come completely out nowhere. Sure, the fact that the contestants would be delving into their childhoods for inspiration was a red flag, but this was also the second consecutive more-overt-than-usual Corporate Shill challenge. (Last week: L’Oreal. This week: HP TouchSmart. Next week: the PiperLime.com “Create a Lime Look…thoughtfully” challenge?)

Mondo’s revelation also hit me like a ton of bricks, but we’ll get to that a little later.

This also happened to be the “Create Your Own Fabric” challenge that Emilio Sosa inexplicably won last season for his shockingly vain creation. When the designers arrived in their workroom, they were greeted by pictures from their childhood, which were (obviously) adorable. (Little Michael C. in his underwear was hilarious, and I liked Valerie holding hands with her sister, even if Valerie spent way too much time crying about Ivy’s elimination early on.)

Some of the highlights: Gretchen (who wasn’t nearly as unappealing as she usually is) used a squash blossom as the inspiration for her gigantic print. April decided to use her parents divorce as inspiration (and I finally understood why everything she makes is black). Meanwhile, Christopher did, um, something. He seems like a nice enough guy, but he’s about as boring as his designs. Oh well, at least he got to kiss his boyfriend on TV.

I usually laugh at reality show contestants who lose their s--- when they seem family members or get emotional after talking to them on the phone. (What? You can’t be away for a few weeks without COMPLETELY breaking down?!) However, in the context of this episode, when Tim announced that he had special guests (and the designers somehow couldn’t figure out what that meant), the ensuing tears were completely justified. Even more impressively, (after last week’s brutal timeframe for the L’Oreal challenge) the designers got the rest of the day off to hang out with their families in New York City.

There were so many good vibes that there were even kind words being said about budding country superstar Michael C.! (Hmm, since Michael D. is gone, I guess I better call Michael C., “Michael”)

The fact that this has been such a bitch-tastic season up to this point made Mondo’s explanation (to us, not his fellow contestants or Tim) that the plus sign on his fabric represented his HIV positive status all the more jarring. There’s been SO much time dedicated to “I hate Michael C. propaganda”, and so much time spent on Gretchen talking about herself and talking about how everyone else sucks, that Mondo’s infusion of bravery and humanity hit me like a ton of bricks. Apparently, he’s been HIV positive for ten years, and hasn’t told his family. (I understand why he wouldn’t want to tell his mom during their lovely NYC outing.)

Even if none of that had happened, Mondo was going to be the clear winner/star of the week. (I’d point out to any potential cynics out there that Mondo didn’t disclose the meaning of his fabric until AFTER he’d gotten his glowing reviews from the judges.) His clothes are impeccably made, and he continues to take chances with bold colors and (conflicting) patterns. Of course, Gretchen found a way to sort of make the moment about her, by saying how touched she was that Mondo chose to share that with her — because everything is about HER. I guess you can forget what I said about her not being unappealing this week.)

No one else got universally-positive praise. Michael (who appears to be slipping) got mostly negative reviews for his dress, which looked like it had a tie and vest sewn in. (Heidi kinda liked it.) Gretchen’s prints were too big (fried-egg boob!), April’s poofy skirt killed her outfit’s chance (and her surly demeanor didn’t do her any favors), and…I feel like I’m forgetting someone. (Oh, hi Christopher!)

The bottom two were CLEARLY birthday girl Valerie and Andy. In the end, Valerie (a regular fixture in the bottom 3) got sent home for being a repeat offender (the dress resembled the one from the party store challenge). That means Andy is a VERY lucky guy, because his sad “memory bubble” disaster was actually the worst look of the week. For some reason, the visit with his mom really threw him off his game. I know this because he said that the visit with his mom threw him off his game about a dozen times.

Goodbye Valerie! Though I seriously question your choice in best friends, you are absolutely forgiven for the heartfelt, customized goodbyes to every contestant. I mean, if the show is going to be 90 minutes, I’d rather see it spent on stuff like that, instead of watching the designers eat and bitch.

So what’d you think of this episode? What were Michael’s parents thinking? (They named their kids Spanky, Peaches…and Michael!) Didn’t guest judge Rachel Roy do a good job? (Also, how many people does Michelle Obama have designing for her?) Finally, will April ever make something that’s not black? (Pretend like you had to bet money on it.)

Project Runway: Last Resort

I’m a lot more than a quart disappointed by last night’s result. (And that I won’t be getting more math lessons from the season’s most unintentionally lovable contestant.)

I didn’t like who the judges crowned as this week’s victor, but I ABSOLUTELY LOATHED their decision as to who to send home — or rather, I hated who they decided to keep around.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Before the evening’s infuriating result, the episode seemed to be heading straight into “meh” territory when Tim Gunn and “special guest” Michael Kors (how special a guest is he, if they see him every week) announced that the challenge would be to create resort wear. The most interesting part of this segment was Michael D. (understandably) whining about having to sketch while enjoying their boat ride, and the designers sneaking a few hors d’oeuvres into their mouths when it was time to go.

Things took a turn for the brilliant when Tim brought out his dreaded velvet bag with the golden rope for the challenge’s twist: the designers had to pair up with a fellow designer and execute their partner’s design! Team challenges are always instant drama anyway, but having this group of egomaniacs hand over their work to someone else was particularly delicious.

Of course, everybody besides Casanova was probably silently wishing that they didn’t end up with Michael C., although we only got to hear Mondo vocalize that apprehension — so naturally he was paired up with the much-maligned Michael C.

It’s no secret that I like Michael C., but I’ve also grown fond of Mondo, despite his off-puttingly short-shorts. Mondo was already cranky because “resort wear” isn’t really in his wheelhouse, and he brought some of that attitude into his initial interactions with Michael C., telling him his construction was “awful.” Here’s the thing: (RIP Kara DioGuardi’s tenure on “American Idol”) at least Mondo brought his apprehensions about Michael C. and laid them directly on the table so the duo could deal with them and get past them. Mondo didn’t confine his snide insults to the confessional or wait until Michael C. left the room.

A little while later, Mondo said that Michael C. is a really good guy, admitted that he had acted like a “dick” and, by the end of the episode, the two were sitting in a sofa with their arms wrapped around each other in a hilarious image that made me wish I knew how to do screengrabs so I could post it with this column.

At the other end of the spectrum, we had Ivy and Michael D. I’ve been on the “I hate Ivy” train for the better part of the last month, but last night was really her coming out party as the bitchiest bitch who ever bitched on this show. Apparently, everyone in the world (except maybe Gretchen) is worse at sewing and constructing than Michael D., because she expressed misgivings about his ability, and spent the rest of their time together dumbing down her already blah design for him, and micro-managing him to within an inch of his sanity.

I’m not letting Michael D. off scot free. Although I obviously felt for the guy, he definitely could’ve projected more confidence than he did when Ivy asked him if he could make pants. And although I can respect him for taking the high road when Ivy started throwing him under the bus (take a shot every time someone says that this season), I wish he would’ve stood up for himself a bit more.

I mean, Ivy is SO bad that she made Gretchen treating Casanova like he is a “retard” (his word) seem like a total non-factor.

The top 3 on the runway were Andy, Black, and Blacker. (Andy, April and Michael D.) As you can probably tell, I was pulling for Andy’s breathtaking colorful swimsuit/wrap combo to take the win, even if I appreciated April’s edgy, naughty take on resort wear. April’s outfit looked more like lingerie, but apparently no one minded. Still, she deserves credit for sticking to her guns (at Michael Kors’ urging) and attempting underwear/pants again after the “triple panty” fiasco.

Michael D. on the other hand — I just didn’t get it. I would’ve put Michael C.’s J-Lo-riffic outfit in the top 3, but then Ivy would’ve snapped and tried to strangle him.

The cantankerous Korean was joined in the bottom 3 by Mondo (his bright look was deemed “Forever 21” and Casanova.

Mondo wasn’t going anywhere (even after a K-mart zinger from Nina), so it was down to Ivy and Casanova, who swing from “slut” to “old lady” mode this week.

In hindsight, it probably wasn’t a good idea for him to admit that had his grandmother in mind when he created his design, but damn! At least his outfit had some shape to it! The judges seriously decided to keep Ivy over Casanova?! When Ivy is eliminated, will there be an amusing video package dedicated to her many delightful moments and ending with her saying that she and New York grabbed each other by the ball? I don’t think so!

Forget the fact that I hate her — Ivy deserved to go home on merit.

The biggest part of the challenge was communication, which she OBVIOUSLY failed at (and compounded the problem by blaming her partner for her outfit’s shortcomings). Even if Ivy had executed her own design, how in the hell was she going to make her blah color choice look like anything other than a gray mass of crap. Finally, the judges even conceded that her lack of creativity basically means that she’s a seamstress — not a designer.

Can someone please explain to me why she’s still here?!

Besides that, what’d you think of this episode? Does anyone else start reflexively humming “I’m on a Boat” when you seem someone on a boat? (I realize the joke is like three years old, but still…) Finally, what did you think of “stylish American actress” Kristen Bell? (Other than the fact that she was OBVIOUSLY there to promote her movie, I thought she was really good.)

Project Runway: Always a Bridesmaid

I’m starting to get the feeling that, even after Michael Costello is crowned the winner of this season’s “Project Runway” and drives off in the automobile provided by whatever car company paid the most to have its vehicle prominently placed on this show, the rest of the designers will STILL be throwing their hands up in the air and bitching about how he can’t sew and/or construct.

It’s been a weird, wonderful season this time out on “Project Runway” (emphasis on weird), so why not?

There appear to be two sides. On one side, we have Michael C. who, if the other contestants were to be believed, doesn’t even know what a sewing machine looks like. On the other side, we have Queen Gretchen, who is unofficially lording over every other designer not named Casanova and leading them in their utter disregard and contempt for Michael C. (The only thing more disappointing than Valerie and Peach jumping on the “I Hate Michael C.” bandwagon last night, was the fact that the effects of last week’s Tim Gunn smackdown and Ivy’s “ah-ha” revelation lasted about five seconds.)

If you’ve been reading this recap, you know that I like Michael C. a lot. Not so much his work (I think it’s lovely, though not the most exciting stuff in the world — then again, what do I know about fashion?), but more his sense of humor and witty insights about his fellow competitors.

Frankly, it’s weird that the person being presented as the season’s laughingstock is one of my favorite contestants. Usually, when reality shows paint someone as a joke, we can all pretty much agree that he’s a buffoon, and enjoy pointing and laughing at him until he’s finally eliminated around week 6. (For a while, this was going to be you, Casanova!) With Michael, I don’t really understand where the producers are going with this.

If his construction/sewing skills are even a fraction as poor as everyone says they are, then he’s got no chance of winning, so setting him up as some sort of underdog would be a colossal waste of time. On the other hand, if they’re honestly trying to paint him as a villain, then they’re failing there too. Since the show hasn’t never EVER shown Michael doing anything that would deserve the amount of venom he’s gotten from everyone else (and why wouldn’t they, if they had the footage?), it’s basically making everyone else look condescending, immature, and petty.

Basically, the only thing the show has accomplished since premiering more than a month ago is that it’s made us hate 95% of the people on it. (Um, yay?)

But I hate for this recap to be as Michael C.-entric as last night’s episode.

The challenge was for the designers to take bridesmaids dresses (they looked like prom dresses at first flance) and transform them into something chic. Thankfully, the designers didn’t have time to complain about working with “real women” models because they were focused on how fugly their dresses were.

The highlight from the selection was Mondo’s face after notice the ugly white color on the back of his choice’s gown, Michael D. drawing the short straw, and the model who pointed out that her dress had a vertical bow on her chest.

Before the runway, the designers got to show their wares at a “designers showcase” with regular people who voted for their favorite outfits by placing buttons in a bowl.

This was also the setting for the episode’s scandal, in which Ivy claimed that Michael started a rumor that she was the “beyotch” of the show.

Now, the fact that I’ve probably never hated a “Project Runway” contestant more than I hate Ivy is probably coloring my opinion, but I call BS. If Michael were really saying that, don’t you think a camera would’ve caught it (or caught a second or third party passing that around). It’s also mighty suspicious that the rumor originated from Ivy (we never saw anyone telling HER about the rumor). Finally, when Michael C. tried to confront her and tell her he wasn’t behind it, she said in her confessional that she chose not to believe him because she doesn’t like his character (approaching her head-on like an adult) or track record (two wins as of last night). Michael said Ivy could talk to his model if she didn’t believe him, but Ivy declined — because she knew it was horses---.

Ivy made the “rumor” up, and you can’t convince me otherwise. (Never mind that she IS the beyotch of the show!)

Mondo won the people’s vote/button challenge for his funky, mod-ish pink and black dress, and was joined in the top 3 by Michael C. (insert sound of s--- hitting the fan) and Christopher, who seemed to be there by default, since half the judges were mixed on his dress, but still gets MAJOR props for making it work after his model got cold feet at the last minutes. (Christopher loses most of those props for claiming Gretchen doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body.)

To be honest, I was kinda, sorta pulling for Mondo to win both because he deserved it AND because I knew I’d have to endure at least another week of “HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??!!” whining from Gretchen and Co. And, in fact, as soon as they learned he was in the top 3 (and after he was gone from the room), they acted as if they were on “Punk’d.” Any attempt to make Gretchen likable (showing her chatting with mom) was quickly washed away by this display.

In the end, Michael won. I didn’t like the lace add-on to the top of his dress at first, but when I saw how dress the bottom of the dress was, I’m glad it was there to balance things out. Whether you thought Michael C. deserved to win or not, I think any reasonable person can agree that he did NOT deserve to go home and he didn’t even have one of the worst three looks. It’s a damn shame that the dude looked completely ashamed that he won when he returned backstage.

Speaking of the bottom 3, that (dis)honor went to Valerie (who made her model look shorter AND wider), Michael D. and Peach. Valerie wasn’t going anywhere, so let’s talk about the other two. At least Michael D. knew (and fretted) about his mosquito netting fabric looking cheap — he just didn’t make the proper adjustments. (I also don’t know that I agree with the judges in that it was worse than the original dress.)

That left Peach (funny, kind, self-aware Peach) as the clear designer to get the boot, for one of the ugliest outfits I’ve ever seen on the show. The color and ruffles were hopelessly bad — and that was before we got to the “avocado dinner napkins.” (How does Michael Kors do it?!) She HAD to go, but it’s a shame to lose one of the few people who don’t devote 99% of their time to hating Michael C.

So what’d you think of this episode? Do you like that the judges seem to be placing more emphasis on styling this year? (I’m not imagining that, right?) Finally, who else thinks Casanova’s stock is on the rise? He got his first positive critique from Tim Gunn and, more importantly, was the only person to say kind words and show respect toward Michael C. (Then again, if Casanova is your only ally, you’re gonna need a bigger boat.)

Project Runway: Team Challenged

I think I finally figured out why “Project Runway” expanded to 90-minute episodes this year: Gretchen talks SO much that a mere hour couldn’t contain all her rambling.

I’ll talk more about Gretchen — including my surprising mini-defense of the “Manipulative One” — a bit later. First, I want to discuss the latest episode in what is quickly becoming an increasingly delicious (too gay?) season.

The challenge for the week was blah blah something about creating a collection in line with fashion trends for fall 2010 blah. All you needed to know was that this was the season’s first team challenge.

As we all know team challenges on any reality show — and in real life — usually end in disaster. This person tries to take over…that person doesn’t pull his or her weight. On “Project Runway”, the naturally-tense team dynamic is multiplied by 1,000 since the work these designers do is often so intensely personal. And I haven’t even thrown the necessary “creativity” into the mix.

“What John Thinks” favorite Michael C. got the first pick and made his biggest misstep of the competition (even worse than not being able to create a proper cowl): he picked Gretchen. At first glance, it wasn’t a terrible pick. Gretchen HAS won two challenges after all. Upon further review (and by “further review”, I mean “after thinking it over for five seconds”), this was a bad choice. The teams weren’t supposed to have leaders, but it was clear to everyone but Michael C. that Gretchen would inevitably take over. (In case you’re curious, I would’ve used my first pick on Valerie.)

Gretchen was the unofficial head of Team Luxe, which selected the concept of “Menswear for Women” and “camel” as their fabric. They faced off against unofficial leader Valerie and the team unofficially known as the “Bad News Bears”, who had zero challenge wins between them and selected a “military” concept with “lace.”

For a while, the editing was setting up Team Luxe’s fall (and the misfits’ victory) SO obviously, that I thought they were faking us out and that the “cool” kids might pull out the victory after all.

That feeling got stronger when the show gave us a confused/insecure Peach and Casanova going Casanova. After his 22nd consecutive unfavorable critique from Tim, Casanova lost it. Since the judges repeatedly questioned his taste, he threatened to quit and resigned himself to a life of designing for old ladies and sluts. He was eventually talked off the ledge by his Titi, Michael C., his model and Valerie, who told him to put his panties back on in her confessional.

Even with all that individual drama, the Island of Misfit Boys and Girls largely ended up winning the challenge for that very individuality. Team Luxe, on the other hand, opted for a more homogenous approach that had everyone working on everyone’s outfit, even if it completely clashed with their design aesthetic. (Hi, A.J.! Um, bye!)

Personally, I wasn’t blown away by either collection. I thought some of the pieces in the military/lace collection were a bit iffy (except for the gold buttons, what did Peach’s have to do with anything), and I didn’t think Team Luxe’s work was as bad as the judges made it out to be (Christopher’s pants were pretty great). Well, except for the part where nothing stood out, and the models didn’t look the least bit current.

The two standouts from the Bad News Bears were Peach and Casanova, with our “Fish in the Water” taking the victory for the week. Raise your hand if you had him winning this (or any) week. (Stop lying!)

Still, it can probably be argued that the show didn’t really start until Team Luxe faced the judges for their critiques. Backstage, they’d agreed to present a united front, and they stubbornly stuck to that tactic early on when Gretchen did most of the talking about how she adored the collection. In fact, they were a little TOO united for my taste — things got downright weird for me when a few of the designers started tearing up.

That camaraderie eventually crumbled when the judges started picking apart the team’s/Gretchen’s aesthetic. Feeling the tide turning, Gretchen quickly jumped on the “this collection sucks” bandwagon, calling it “crappy” and pointing out the “awful 80’s dress” she made. Things got even worse when the judges asked who the weakest designer was.

Now, I don’t know enough about design — and nobody knows enough about what’s been going on backstage this season — to know if Michael C. is really as untalented as Team Luxe made him out to be. However, any way you slice it, the fact that they piled on him only served to make everyone look bad. (What a shame that A.J., the only person who accepted responsibility for his shortcomings this week, got sent home.) What’s worse is that Michael had immunity, so the piling on was absolutely pointless since Michael C. couldn’t be eliminated — unless the point was to make Michael cry, which he did backstage.

Normally, I’d tell him to nut up, but some of the insults were downright personal and nasty —which brings me to Ivy, my LEAST favorite contestant this season. (Yes, even more than Gretchen.) I mean, Gretchen may be horrible, but she has some wins in her pocket and has her own voice. Ivy has proven herself to be nothing more than a wretched sycophant eager to do Gretchen’s bidding and ready to nod along to her every order. The “I don’t know if it’s laziness or ignorance” comment was bad enough, but how about her suggestion that Michael C. might tank this challenge because he had immunity. Ugh, I hate her.

And that’s why I was absolutely flabbergasted that she wasn’t in the bottom 2 (or even the bottom 3). I suppose that I’m glad the judges stuck Gretchen in the bottom 2 to give her a wakeup call. However, that wakeup call came a few moments later courtesy of Tim Gunn, who probably delivered his finest Tim Gunn moment last night. (And that’s saying something.)

Before sending A.J. home to pack his belongings and leave, he had these articulate, cutting words for Team Luxe. I’ll re-print them verbatim because it was just THAT good:

“I fundamentally do not understand your behavior and demeanor and affect on the runway. I don’t get it. I don’t know why you allowed Gretchen to manipulate, control, and bully you. I don’t understand it.”

Boom. Roasted.

The only thing I would add (in Gretchen’s slight defense) is that it’s not her fault that her teammates were a bunch of weak, brainless minions. Would’ve been nice to see someone stand up to her.

So what’d you think of this episode? Were Casanova’s struggles really making him fat? (That was fantastically random.) Should the models be allowed to help the designers with their sewing? (It seems like cheating to me, but the real solution would be to stop having insane one-day challenges!) Will Ivy and the others continue to see the light or will their epiphany prove short-lived? Finally, what’s the female equivalent of “butt buddy”? (Because that’s what Ivy is to Gretchen.)

Project Runway: Hats What I'm Talking About

Just because I’ve been recapping this show since season 3 (yikes, I can’t believe that’s actually true) doesn’t mean I know anything about fashion.

That point was driven home repeatedly watching last night’s topsy-turvy episode. One outfit the designers thought deserved to be in the top ended up in the bottom 3. Another universally panned outfit ended up winning. Cats and dogs living together – mass hysteria!

The show delivered another interesting challenge (that’s two in a row for those of you scoring at home) by having the designers create a hat inspired by and complementary to a hat by Philip Treacy. We knew Treacy was a big deal by the way every one of the contestants fawned over him. Apparently, he couldn’t have been that big a deal because the almost all the designers made their selections based on the models they liked/worked with, not Treacy’s hats.

The people we’ve come to expect to dominate the workroom segments did so again. Gretchen continued her dogged pursuit for the Most Condescending Person Award of 2011 by giving more unsolicited advice. “What John Thinks” favorite Michael C. freaked out about the fact that his fabric was puckering and generally looking fugly. All this, and we got to see the designers eating once again!

Meanwhile, our dear Casanova still had no idea what was going on. His exchange with Tim about how he had created an unbelievably safe dress that was in fashion 20 years ago was priceless. Tim agreed that it was wearable, and let a brief silence hang in the air. Throughout the history of the show reasonable (and even unreasonable) designers have filled that silence by catching on to the fact that Tim was trying to tell them that the dress was wearable…but not innovative or exciting. Casanova asked Tim if he was supposed to make something not wearable. Sigh. To be honest, I’m getting a little tired of Casanova’s cluelessness (he’s making the rest of us Puerto Ricans look bad). However, he admitted that he set out to make a safe dress – and there he was sailing safely into next week. Maybe he’s some sort of evil genius.

At the other end of the taste spectrum, Tim expressed some reservations about the random zipper in the back of Valerie’s dress (which was really a mask). In the end, he told Valerie to go with her instinct. I’m actually with Tim – I didn’t get the point of the zipper. However, I also think Valerie is one of the very best contenders this season, so if she likes something, she should probably just go with it.

The fact that she ended up in the top 3 for the third week in a row proves that she knows what she’s doing.

After a sensational runway show last week, I was actually pretty underwhelmed by this week’s offering. Even Valerie’s inclusion in the top 3 seemed odd, given that Treacy was amusingly open about his disdain for her work. Also, Mondo is lucky that he put a mustache on his model because it probably distracted the judges from how ugly the his outfit was.

The designers asked to stay for their critiques were Valerie, Michael C., Michael D., April, Kristin, and Christopher. Backstage, the designers speculated about who was in the top and who was in the bottom. And by “the designers”, I mostly mean Gretchen and Ivy. Gretchen announced that Christopher was in the top 3 because she wear everything he made – well bully for her! Meanwhile, Ivy (and some others) was sure that eventual winner Michael C. was a shoo-in for the bottom 3, and said that she and Gretchen “obviously” belonged in the top 3. This from the person who created a beige and white lady at lunch ensemble! It may be horrible to say, but after seeing her comments, I wish Ivy had stayed in the hospital and sat this challenge out.

Then again, it’s entirely possible that I’m just being fiercely protective of my boy Michael C., who has consistently said everything I’ve been thinking during the early part of this “Runway” season. Look, I realize his dress didn’t exactly reinvent the wheel, and it didn’t really deserve all the fawning praise the judges gave it. However, it WAS a lovely creation, and he deserved credit for pulling that dress out of his butt after his initial soon-to-be debacle. Whether he deserved to win or not is up for debate – however, I think we can all agree he did NOT deserve all the venom he got from his competitors.

The more conventional wisdom (at least according to my girlfriend Erica) was that Michael D. was going to win for his structural dress. I thought it was well constructed, and I liked the color of his skirt, but in the end I felt like the thing came off a bit too boxy and too literal an interpretation of his model’s hat.

The even more conventional wisdom was that Christopher was going to take the win – and he found himself in the bottom 3. Did Christopher really make one of the 3 worst designs? Absolutely NOT. (Hi, Mondo!) It’s too bad because his initial idea got bogged down by those gray leggings and those boots. (He did NOT use the Piperlime Accessory Wall “thoughtfully.”)

Still, there was no way in hell Christopher was going anywhere, so the choice came down to April’s “triple panty” booty shorts, and Kristin’s orchid-inspired, sad droopy black vagina dress. The judges made the right call in sending Kristin home (no matter how much fun she allegedly brings to the workroom). The fact that April made separates and that Nina Garcia liked her top (I didn’t) seems to be what saved her. Yes, the person who put a zipper in the back of her bunched up diapers lived to see another week. (I wouldn’t have minded a double elimination.)

So what’d you think of this episode? Were the other designers too harsh on Michael C.? (It’s probably always been like that, but now we get to see it in these 90-minute episodes.) Finally, will you now refer to women’s lady parts as “the good china”?

Project Runway: Where Da Party At?

I’m going to try to get this recap done before Gretchen stops by to give me (completely unsolicited) “advice” on tone and sentence structure.

The latest episode of “Project Runway” featured an “unconventional item” challenge — my favorites on this show — and, in my opinion, boasted the strongest runway show in recent memory. (Especially impressive with so many designers still in the mix.)

So I’m not going to dwell too much on the show’s efforts to turn Gretchen (pictured, left) into the season’s new villain now that Jason is gone. You can probably detect my reality show cynicism (that’d be my belief that editing on one of these shows could make Gandhi look like a self-absorbed jerk) seeping in. On the other hand, editing can only go so far, and there are irrefutably more than a few designers getting peeved with Gretchen’s self-appointed mother hen act.

I mean, pretty much any designer who wins the first two challenges is going to get a certain amount of hate. However, Gretchen’s two victories had the unfortunate side effect of convincing her that she’s qualified to give other people her advice. (Or that they even want to hear it!) I’m no A.J. fan, but I found myself cheering him on when he stood up to her near the end after someone directed a question at Andy, but Gretchen started speaking for him. Also, there’s absolutely no editing required to make her “keep your stations clean” proclamation seem annoying. Girlfriend needs a bottom 3 wakeup call, pronto!

It doesn’t seem like that’s coming any time soon, especially since Gretchen actually delivered my favorite outfits of hers to date.

But let me back up a bit. The task was to create a look using materials from a party supply store. Before letting the designers loose inside the store, Tim warned them that the judges don’t take kindly to using tablecloth or any other material that is basically fabric (because it’s a copout).

Casanova, as always, seemed absolutely perplexed by the challenge of creating a look NOT using fabric (do they not have “Project Runway” in Puerto Rico?), and decided to grab a bunch of tablecloth anyway to go along with his plush puppies. (I loved the “2 Minutes Ago” flashback to Tim warning them not to use tablecloth.) I know that crazy generally equals entertaining on this kind of show, but I’m getting tired of Casanova’s “no-speaky-English” shtick.

Other than a Tim Gunn giggle fit involving “wooly balls” and Gretchen’s talking, things were relatively quiet inside the workroom. Things were so quiet that we actually got to see the designers briefly hanging out on a buffet line and eating. (Due to the inhumanly stressful nature of these challenges, I sort of just assumed these people never ate.)

I mostly remember Tim and others insisting that A.J. should absolutely excel in this challenge (since it’s what he does), and A.J. lamely trying to defuse those expectations. My boy Michael C. put things into perspective brilliantly during one of his confessionals by mentioning how A.J. is always bragging about being the master of the glue gun. Michael C. has been so spot on and funny these last two weeks that I really hope he sticks around and records confessionals for the entire season, even if he gets eliminated.

If he keeps churning out designs like the one he did last night, he should be around for a while. Personally, I thought his dramatic red dress (and April’s jagged, glass-like gray look) was top-3 worthy. However, with such a strong runway show, I can see how he got left out even if I would’ve happily subbed in his look for Gretchen’s. (Though the fact that she’s pretty annoying might have something to do with that.)

Then again, Gretchen’s outfit (especially that “leather” jacket) was the best thing I’ve seen from her. Still, I think she was surpassed by both Valerie (for her sexy black and white dress that can also be used to clean up messy hors d’oeuvres) and Andy (for his ridiculously stylish braided black dress). Andy deservedly picked up the win (despite guest judge Betsey Johnson claiming it was “too beautiful”), but I would’ve given it to Valerie because I don’t think there’s any way Andy would’ve finished without help from Peach and April. (Obviously, the judges weren’t privy to this, so it wasn’t really a factor.)

The bottom 3 was comprised of choke artist A.J. (beads drooping down from a crotch is never a good look), taste-challenged Casanova and Sarah, who made a sad boring gray dress with palm tree leaves taped on it.

A.J. was deemed safe, and when it came down to Casanova and Sarah, I wasn’t even a little surprised that Sarah (sad and boring) went home over Casanova’s schizophrenic dress which Michael Kors described with the instant-classic transvestite flamenco dancer at a funeral. Even though I don’t completely disagree with the judges’ decision, I feel bad for Sarah. At least she KNEW that her dress was sad and boring. Casanova appears to have no idea what he’s doing and the only way he could land in the judge’s good graces is if he makes something good by accident or if the stuff the judges are smoking that week is particularly strong.

So what’d you think of this episode? Is anyone other than Valerie your favorite? (Michael C. is hilarious, but Valerie is funny AND has shown major design chops.) Do you, like Tim Gunn, prefer wooly balls? (How great was it to see him crying from laughing so hard?) Had we ever seen the designers eat food before? Why are Mondo’s shorts so short? Finally, oh yeah — do you think Ivy’s going to be ok following her trip to the hospital?

Project Runway: Straight Guy in a Gay Man's World

I wasn’t sure if I was going to recap this season of “Project Runway.”

I didn’t watch the season premiere until about five days after it aired, so I didn’t recap it and falling behind after the very first episode didn’t feel great. The new, expanded 90-minute format scared me — it’s ok now that there are approximately 45 designers to meet, but it has the potential to get downright painful when there are 5 or 6 people left and the show struggles to fill those 90 minutes. Finally, those constant commercials for “Army Wives” on Lifetime are starting to get to me.

Yet here I am.

Though I still predict that I’ll be ripping my hair out later in the season, the 90-minute format isn’t too bad yet. (It gave us time to learn about oddball Mondo’s loneliness, though no mention was made of the creepy little doll he keeps on his bedside.)

Mostly though, I wanted to write a recap so I could completely trash designer/bowler hat enthusiast/all-purpose creeper Jason.

This douchesack (he’s doucheyness is much too big to be confined to a bag) rubbed me the wrong way from his awkward introduction in the season premiere, where he claimed that he wore his bowler hat to intimidate people. (Huh?!) I mean, Alex DeLarge wore a bowler, so I guess he can be scary. Now the only thing Jason is missing is charisma. And a clue.

Over the course of the episode’s 90 minutes (the expanded format REALLY allowed Jason’s awfulness to breathe) Jason came up with a clunker of a design concept (infinity/ the number 8 to symbolize…season 8 of “Project Runway”) and delivered another clunky, unfinished dress. Last week he held his backwards kimono together with staples, and this week he used safety pins to close the hole over his model’s belly button that he previously claimed had been intentional. (If he were around next week, maybe he’d whip out scotch tape!)

…and those are the least reprehensible things he did! The worst offense is a tie between throwing his model under the bus by saying she was inadequate for the runway (no wonder she looked miserable/angry in her photo and during judging), and snubbing Tim Gunn after being eliminated. (We don’t like it when people are mean to Tim.) Earlier in the episode, Jason cried “heterophobia” by saying that he was a “straight guy in a gay man’s world” following an unfavorable critique from Tim. (Never mind the fact that straight guy Seth Aaron won this show just last year!)

Wait, I almost forgot about the part where he brusquely lifted his model’s dress on the runway and revealed her underwear…!

Ok, I’m going to stop now because, believe it or not, there are other people on this show.

The challenge this week was something about creating a look for the intelligent, elegant, blah blah blah, Marie Claire reader that would be displayed on a 40-foot billboard in Times Square. To be honest, I wasn’t really paying much attention during this part because the challenge was so uninspiring (even the mid-challenge photo shoot twist was mostly a “Top Model”-lite dud) and because I was too busy marveling at how much Marie Claire editor-in-chief Joanna Coles looks like Helen Mirren.

Despite the fact that there are SO many designers at this stage of the competition, it was pretty easy to predict who’d land in the top and bottom 3 simply based on how the workroom segments were edited.

The one wrinkle was Casanova avoiding the chopping block after a look that made his model look pregnant, and after asking anyone who would listen for help in the workroom. A.J. probably could’ve found a nicer way of brushing him off than rudely exclaiming “I’m not going to pattern for you!” which was especially vexing from a guy who also made his model look like she was pregnant. (With a square alien baby.) In the end, Casanova found help from (now) two-time winner/hip buddy Gretchen.

To be honest, I haven’t really been blown away by Gretchen’s designs (her winning jumpsuit outfit looked like something Tyra might’ve worn during the seventh week of the most recent cycle of “Top Model”), but she gets extra points for making a decent pair of pants on her first solo try and for hilariously trying to explain to Casanova what “bosom buddies” means.

For my money, the win should’ve gone to Valerie for her bright red, zippered, jaunty dress. Michael instantly became a favorite of mine when he congratulated Gretchen, but claimed that Valerie should’ve won. (Between that, and saying that he was trying to befriend Jason so that the creep wouldn’t murder him, it’s like Michael has a direct line into my brain.) Mondo rounded out the top 3 with his whimsical outfit. Personally, I might’ve gone with Christopher D’s short, mesh black dress, but Mondo needed the confidence boost.

The bottom 3 was comprised of Peach, Nicholas and Jason. Peach was lost from the beginning after a safe fabric choice, and the defeatist attitude appeared to have spread to her model, who looked miserable the entire time. Fortunately, Peach proved that she can work fast (creating three separate outfits), and earned a stay of execution (which is great because she’s hilarious AND self-aware).

Nicholas had no such luck, and became the second (and most emotional) contestant to get the boot last night for his overdesigned look/underdeveloped-in-the-back blouse.

The judges are really crapping the bed this season. Their decision to send McKell home last week seemed totally random. (It should’ve been Jason and/or even Nicholas.) This week, I strongly feel that Nicholas had shown enough as a designer to merit another chance, but they sent him packing when most of America would’ve probably been satisfied with watching just Jason get eliminated.

Oh well — at least they DID get rid of Jason.


So what’d you think of this episode? Are you enjoying the extended format? Do you miss “Models of the Runway?” Finally, which designer would you say is more likely to be a serial killer — Jason or Mondo?

Project Runway: Finale Decision

Once the “Project Runway” season-ender actually got started – following the 15-minute commercial for Garnier Fructis and L’Oreal – I actually thought it was the strongest finale in recent memory.

There was no challenge to introduce, no field trip to Mood, and workroom bitchery. Other than an alarmingly shirtless (to my girlfriend Erica) shot of Seth Aaron (which may or may not have included butt crack), it was all business.

(Of course, the show couldn’t help but trump up some missing-model drama before the big show, but even that was resolved fairly quickly – it’s why you have alternates.)

Seth Aaron showed introduced his collection – inspired by 1940’s German and Russian military fashion - first with his barely-contained spaz energy. (I love that his kids dress conservatively as a way to rebel against their wild dad.) I thought his collection was FANTASTIC. It was undeniably Seth Aaron, but with a stronger editing eye and more elegance to it. He managed to do both those things without really sacrificing his flair for the dramatic, and he put on a great show. As a civilian, when I imagine going to fashion show, I imagine seeing crazy s--- like the stuff Seth Aaron was sending down the runway. (Except maybe for the bootylicious purple outfit – that was too much.)

Mila was up next with her shadow-inspired collection, and she basically did what she does REALLY well – black and white, mod-inspired color blocking (with a dash of purple leggings). Casting edgy models and giving them a punk-rocker makeover helped her 60’s collection tremendously. However, Mila (who had beaten out Jay for the final slot in the finale) simply had “third place” written all over her from the start.

Emilio rounded things out with his “Color Me Bad” (but not “Color Me Badd”) fashion LINE (Right, Nina?) I REALLY liked the way his line tied together from piece to piece. It was clear and cohesive, but not in an obvious way. Well, it ALMOST worked perfectly, since that gold evening dress seemed to come out of nowhere at the end. Fortunately, that was the best piece in his collection.

Nina and Michael chided Emilio for not going for enough of a wow factor and for designing a more business-like fashion “line” instead of a “collection” for a show. I’m not smart enough to completely understand the difference, but I kind of get it. To be honest, I’d be more outraged on Emilio’s behalf if I’d liked the guy during the course of the show. (Still, seeing the man’s shock and tears over losing was disheartening.)

I’d also be more outraged if Seth Aaron hadn’t been a completely deserving of the win. Watching him celebrate with his adorable family was satisfying, as was his victory. (I may or may not have yelled “YES!” when he won, and pumped my fist.) Overall, Seth Aaron, Emilion and Mila all acquitted themselves quite nicely and delivered the most competitive finale I can remember.

The “Project Runway” season finale was followed by a half-hour reunion show, which absolutely delighted me. I loved the old-school reunion shows, and I honestly would’ve watched an hour of this thing. I was wondering if they would hand out a fan-favorite award, but they didn’t because, I suppose, the thing would’ve OBVIOUSLY gone to Anthony, eliminating any sense of drama. (They should probably rename that thing, “The Anthony Award.”)

Unfortunately, since the thing was only 30 minutes, the show decided to focus almost exclusively on a mean-spirited airing of grievances. (I understand the decision, but an hour-long show would’ve likely given us time for a lighthearted segment or two.) Ping (now shockingly blond) cried about being berated by Jesse, Emilio tried to explain why he dumped model Holly after she saved his ass following the metal bikini fiasco (I still don’t understand his convoluted explanation!) and Jay Nicolas committed career suicide.

The show replayed the segment in which model Cerri expressed that Jay Nicolas’ sun-drenched, colorful style was not for her at all. Jay Nicolas decided to strike back by saying that he’d never hire a model with “bad teeth and thick legs.” The statement was so shocking that you could hear a pin drop in that studio. In fact, the only sound that could be heard was me saying, “Oh my god!”

I understand that Jay was offended at the shots Cerri was taking at his work, but to attack her personally like that showed an alarming amount of vileness and immaturity. On the bright side, I now understand why Mila hated Jay so much.

So what’d you think of this episode? Did the right person win? Has anyone ever said anything meaner on this show than Jay Nicolas’ comment about Cerri? Was that reaction shot during the finale not so Raven? Finally, why Faith Hill, of all people, as a finale guest judge?

Thanks for reading along this season!

Project Runway: Mr. Trampoline Man

And then there were three.

But before we got there, we had to go through one of the more hit-or-miss episodes in any season of “Project Runway” – the one where Tim visits each of the finalists in their hometown.

Fortunately, this one was a hit.

A non-pregnant Heidi Klum (every time the show takes a break she alternates between being pregnant and not being knocked up) gave each of the four finalists $9,000 and sent them on their way.

Tim’s first stop – Seth Aaron’s Washington state home – was a doozy. Not only was there genuine, fascinating drama related to Seth Aaron’s collection, but we got to see Tim Gunn (attempt to) jump on a trampoline!

Back to the clothes. The insanely prolific Seth Aaron had created 15 pieces for his 10-piece collection, and they were very much “Seth Aaron.” Tim Gunn’s blunt assessment – their predictability would keep Seth Aaron from winning – was pretty shocking, as was Tim’s request that he reconceptualize. Seth Aaron seemed taken aback, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was somehow able to create two outfits while Tim was incorrectly guessing that a stethoscope was a fallopian tube during a spirited game of Pictionary with SA’s family. On top of that, it was a kick to see all of Seth Aaron’s different hairstyles (including shaved head).

The rest of the visits couldn’t really measure up in terms of entertainment value, but they were far from snoozefests.

We just knew Tim and Emilio would bump heads over SOMETHING. And here was Tim once again questioning Emilio’s use of a customized print and telling him his clothes looked too old. As was the case last week during the circus challenge, Emilio openly and vehemently disagreed with Tim, but then went ahead and made significant changes anyway. (He told us when he arrived in New York that his collection was not the one Tim had seen.)

Need more proof that these two don’t like each other. Check out the moment when all four finalists return to New York. Tim hugs three of them – guess which one he shares a courteous handshake with.

After that, Tim headed back to the left coast to visit Mila in Los Angeles and Jay in San Francisco, and to check up on their progress as they competed for the third spot in Bryant Park.

You’re not going to believe this, but Mila’s mod/black and white aesthetic transcends her fashion and extends to her boyfriend, her parents and her dogs (of course Ziggy is a Dalmatian!) As for the clothes, she claimed to be inspired by shadows, but Tim had concerns that it looked too matronly and the fact that it was basically a black and white line. I didn’t agree with the matronly part, but I DID wish Mila had thrown in some sort of twist.

Jay, on the other hand, was inspired by “Japanese samurai” (as opposed to Cuban samurai). To be honest, I didn’t really see how the theme manifested itself in the clothes (even Jay didn’t seem too tied to his theme), but I kind of dug his collection anyway. Unfortunately, Tim thought it bordered on student work. At least Jay got off the line of the night. After Tim called his work “cuckoo”, Jay dubbed himself “Cuckoo Chanel.” (Wordplay!)

In a shocking coincidence that wasn’t at all set up by the producers, competitors/nemeses Jay and Mila arrived first and were forced to share an awkward few moment. Fortunately, they used the time to sit down and have a sensible conversation about their issues. (If only the girls on this cycle of “Top Model” would follow suit.) Jay and Mila will never be besties, but they at least seemed to agree that they’ll stop saying horrible things about each other in confessionals. Also, I still have absolutely no idea why they hated each other so much.

Coming into this episode, I thought Mila had the third spot at Bryant Park in the bag and, for Jay to snatch it, he’d have to beat her by A LOT.

Well, in my opinion, he only beat Mila by a little, so she ended up getting the nod anyway.

Mila’s clothes were stylish (in a reliable, evergreen way) and impeccably made, but Jay’s designs were funkier and more exciting. Jay seemed to have Michael Kors in his corner, while Heidi was pushing for Mila, with Nina Garcia of all people on the fence.

So now we have an Emilio, Seth Aaron and Mila in the finals. Although Mila REALLY seemed to run out of gas toward the end, I believe these are the three designers who deserved to make it to the finals based on their work throughout the entire season. (If Maya hadn’t walked away, I’d happily give her Mila’s slot.)

So what’d you think of this episode? Where did Lifetime dig up that “gritty” 70’s footage of the Bronx for Tim’s visit with Emilio? Why did the designers specifically get $9,000 for their lines? (Couldn’t they bump that up to 10K? Was the remaining money used to pay for that Bronx footage?) What will Seth Aaron’s hair look like next year? Finally, who do you think should and will win? (I know the odds are stacked in Emilio’s favor, but I’m feeling AND wanting a Seth Aaron victory.)

Project Runway: Circus Atmosphere

I know I’m late to the “Project Runway” party this week.

(I’m also late to “The Celebrity Apprentice” party, and the “Lost” party this week, but I promise I’ll get those recaps up…sometime in the near future.)

Since everything that’s worth saying about the latest episode of “Project Runway” has already been said, I’ll just give you my quick hit thoughts on “The Big, Top Designers.”

- When I first heard about this week’s circus-themed episode — the challenge was to create a high-end look inspired by the circus — I naturally assumed the designers would be visiting Cirque du Soleil. (It seemed like an artsy match made in fashion heaven.)

I was actually pleasantly surprised to see them, instead, visit the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus. I don’t know why, but I like to imagine the Ringling Bros./Barnum & Bailey people are bitter about the fact that Cirque du Soleil has gotten most of the buzz over the past decade. It was nice to see an old-school circus get some love.

-I think Mila broke Simon Cowell’s unofficial eye roll record this week listening to Emilio boast about how great he is, and how he’s there solely to win “Project Runway.”

- In a related story, I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed Mila more.

- I’m thinking Jay Nicolas may have bothered to design more than that Michael Jackson jacket (chmon!) this week if he hadn’t been ogling the shirtless circus performers during their private performances for the designers. Other than the jacket, the dude did black pants, and a black tank top. I would’ve bet money he was going home.

- Is Anthony every in a bad mood? Does anything get that guy down? Even his despair is funny.

- Have you tried to work the word “viscera” into a conversation yet?

- It was clearly Anthony’s time to go (again!) He just doesn’t have the chops to crack the top 3/4. That being said, Michael Kors’ “big blue condom” comment was harsh and not even really accurate. (I’m a big fan of his quips, but he was reaching this week.)

- Say what you will about Mila (who’s been trending downward the past few weeks), but if you were to line up all the designers’ work this season without telling me who designed what, I’d have the easiest time picking out Mila’s.

- I’d have the second easiest time picking out Seth Aaron’s. I thought the wild circus challenge was perfectly suited to his talents and he didn’t really disappoint. (Unfortunately, he didn’t exactly wow either.)

- Emilio picked up what felt like his 15th consecutive win. It didn’t come easy though. After initially dismissing Tim’s advice that his black and white dress was a bit “blah” for a circus challenge, Emilio smartly added more than a dash of color and pushed his look to the next level.

- Maybe it’s because Emilio is an ass and I don’t like him too much, but I didn’t really get all the love for his dress. (Best look of the season? Really?!)

- That being said, I respect him for telling the truth by saying a final with him Seth Aaron and Mila would be the most competitive/fitting/deserving. (Because it’s the truth.)

- Do we still have any idea why Jay Nicolas dislikes Mila so much?

- Wasn’t it weird seeing Michael Kors actually get up and walk around during judging?

So what’d you think of this episode? Who do you think will grab the third spot at Bryant Park? (I would’ve had no problem with Jay Nicolas being eliminated last night, so you know how I feel.) Finally, who are you rooting for in the final? (I would’ve never imagined saying this at the start of the season, but “Go Seth Aaron!”)

Project Runway: A Difficult Week

Tim Gunn sure earned his paycheck last night.

I don’t know about you, but to me it feels like the beloved “Project Runway” mentor hasn’t been as much of a factor this season. (Except for when Emilio is dissing him.) That’s why it was a weird pleasure to see him so much last night, even if he spent most of his screen time solemnly/gleefully announcing the departures/returns of designers/models.

If you watched any of the promos or have an Internet connection, you probably knew one of the designers was walking away from the competition. The reveal came relatively early in the episode, and the producers did little to hide the identity of the person who was leaving. In fact, they went WAY overboard with the dramatic music and close-up shots of Maya’s empty station, which actually made it seem like she’d been abducted on her way to Parsons.

So Maya Luz — the designer who never found herself in the bottom on the runway — was walking away because she didn’t feel like she was ready or that her point-of-view was as developed as it needed to be. (Cue Nina Garcia telling Maya a few weeks ago that her work was too “referential” of other designers.) This was a big surprise (unlike sleepy Daryl Strawberry walking away from “The Celebrity Apprentice” earlier this week). I wonder if winning a challenge (she came close a few times) during a stint on the show would’ve given her more confidence and caused her to stay.

Maya also cited the inherent pressure and stress from the competition. I actually think this is the sneakiest, most underrated part of “Project Runway” — it’s probably the most stressful reality competition there is. On top of that, it seems (I don’t have official stats in front of me) that the designers have been banging out more one-day challenges than ever this season. Seth Aaron echoed this sentiment in his defense of Maya by telling people, “Don’t judge” and “F--- off!” (Emilio “Mr. Sunshine” Sosa, on the other hand, said it was a copout.)

As a result, I’m bummed to see Maya go from the perspective that she had Top 3 talent/potential, but I won’t miss her terribly from the perspective that she wasn’t an incredibly compelling television character. Speaking of compelling television characters, Maya’s exit opened the door for the return of Anthony, who returned with a triumphant cry of “Here she is, boys!”

Anthony had some catching up to do because he was behind on the challenge, which was to create a red carpet look for an “opinionated” and “difficult” mystery celebrity. I was actually a little mad at myself or not figuring out that it would be Heidi.

During her visit in the workroom (it was weird seeing her there), Heidi particularly took issue with Seth Aaron’s dress (too simple), Jonathan’s painstakingly-made original fabric (which she compared to curtains — I thought it looked more like a couch) and Jay Nicolas’ butt-enhancing outfit (I had more of an issue that it was too short/edgy to be a red carpet look). Oh well, at least Jay Nicolas got a close and personal look at Heidi’s boobs when she insisted on showing him there was no space between them (though I doubt that sight really did much for Jay.)

Not surprisingly, those three joined Mila’s dress (the boobs, which everyone knows Heidi is obsessed with, were going in opposite directions) in an unofficial bottom 4.

That meant the top two were Emilio (who created the most conventional red carpet look, which also happened to be the most beautiful) and Anthony (who created a gown that moved fantastically, but had a color palette that reminded me of Two-Face’s suit from “Batman: The Animated Series.”) Emilio picked up his third straight win (his head is in danger of exploding very soon if they keep feeding his ego) and Anthony got to share in the glory because guest judge Jessica Alba (pictured, with Heidi Klum) adored his dress.

As for the people in the bottom, Seth Aaron and his funereal dress were spared first, followed by Mila, who inexplicably continues to doge the bottom two.

That left things between Jay Nicolas, whose outfit was more misguided than horrible and Jonathan, whose outfit was misguided AND horrible. Jonathan had freaked out after his consult with Heidi and abandoned his original fabric to create a second dress. When that didn’t work out, he created a THIRD dress from the remnants of the discarded second dress. It worked out about as well as you’d expect it to.

I did have to chuckle at Jonathan’s reasoning that the judges had been slamming his taste recently, so why not create something he thought was ugly. Unfortunately, it was simply Jonathan’s time to go. The bright side is he won’t have to endure any more of Michael Kors’ withering putdowns.

So what’d you think of this episode? Is Maya quitting really a copout? When did Seth Aaron become my favorite person on the show? (Even when his model left the competition, he just rolled with it) Finally, was Michael Kors right when he said that “no woman on the planet” wants dress or a piece of clothing that emphasizes her butt? (One word: Kardashian.)

Project Runway: Print it to Win It

Mood? They don’t need no stinkin’ Mood.

Not when last night’s challenge had the remaining designers creating their own unique fabric for their weekly outfit.

I really liked this challenge because, for better or worse, it gave each competitor COMPLETE creative autonomy over their creations. Most weeks (when they’re not trying to make a dress out of materials found in a dumpster or something), the designers simply come up with a concept and seem to hope Mood has something that matches their vision. This week, there really was absolutely no excuse if your outfit was fugly.

I actually can’t believe it took this long for the show to come up with this challenge. I suppose we had to wait for technology to catch up and make it possible. Though the easel-like canvas was cool, I’m afraid I must refrain from mentioning a certain electronics company by name – the got plenty of pub last night, so I’m sure they won’t mind.

All of the designers seemed excited about the prospect of creating their own fabric (even Mila was excited to play with some colors). Well, everyone except Maya, who isn’t really about the bold prints. Fortunately for her, she found a way to marry her structural aesthetic with the challenge at hand and ended up producing what Michael Kors called his favorite print. (Imagine what she could’ve done if she actually liked prints!)

I think it was pretty clear which print ended up being Michael Kors’ least favorite print (someone please give Jonathan a hug), but we’ll get to that later. First, I want to talk about Emilio who, despite a considerable amount of talent, seems hell-bent on coming off as an arrogant, off-putting jackass.

First, there was his idea to put his name on his fabric as a form of branding. Is it incredibly presumptuous for a guy to consider himself a brand name when he probably should’ve finished in 10th place after his disastrous metal bikini? Probably, but I’m not going to take away his right to sell himself. I have more of an issue with the fabric design itself, which read ES♥SA over and over again.

I’m glad Emilio was on hand to explain that it was supposed to mean E. Sosa (the heart was on “O”) because I had no idea what that thing said. I was actually with Tim, who thought the “ES” stood for Emilio Sosa and the “SA” stood for Seth Aaron, his partner last week. (Taking it one step further, I think it’s hilarious that, if that were the case, the fabric would read “Emilio Sosa hearts Seth Aaron.) Most egregiously, Emilio got all huffy and said that he doesn’t listen to Tim, whether he likes it or not.

Usually, disagreeing with Tim is a BIG mistake, but the judges ended up inexplicably flipping for Emilio’s fabric and gave him the win, his third this season. (Like his ego needed it.) Me, I’m with Tim. I actually think I’ve seen a similar pattern to Emilio’s on a purse at Target. Oh well, at least his French-inspired jacket was a nice touch.

Personally, I would’ve given Maya the win for having the best pattern (hello, that was a major part of the challenge!) and for combining it so well with her own tastes. I also wouldn’t have been mad if Seth Aaron had won yet again. It’s incredible how many pieces he can create in so little time. In fact, I wish he’d had a little less time because last night’s ensemble could’ve probably used one less piece.

Since Jay Nicolas and his newly revised pants skipped to safety, the bottom three was Mila, Anthony and Jonathan.

Maybe it’s just me, but I actually thought Mila’s white tee-pee with a rainbow flag was BY FAR the worst piece last night. Bonus points for making it so constricting that her model Brandise could barely walk in it. I’m actually a believer in past work, but this is at least the second time Mila has completely missed when going outside her color blocking mod comfort zone. I would’ve placed her in the bottom 2 to make her sweat.

Unfortunately, that spot was taken up this week by Jonathan, who got the worst of it from the judges. I actually didn’t hate his “stained tablecloth” fabric nearly as much as the judges did. It was a different way to go, yes, but it was consistent with Jonathan’s aesthetic. However, Michael Kors’ taunts were hilarious at first, but turned borderline cruel when Jonathan dared to chime in that Kors’ critique was preposterous. (Did you see the delight on Heidi’s face when she realized Michael was REALLY going to go after him?)

I was actually ok with Michael tearing into Jonathan’s “disco straight jacket.” (“Your husband helps you back into your straight jacket.”) I mean, that thing was just weird. What wasn’t cool was the rest of the judges jumping in and ganging up on Jonathan. Then again, I’d probably feel sorrier for Jonathan if he hadn’t dumped his model Cerry during the subsequent “Models of the Runway” episode, causing her to be eliminated. (But that’s another story.)

Still, Jonathan was safe, which meant Anthony was out.

Although Anthony did NOT have the worst dress last night, his continued aversion to taking chances did him in. He’ll be missed by his competitors (for a guy who talked all the time, it’s a testament to his charm that EVERYONE seemed to like him) and I’m sure he’ll be missed by many in the audience because the guy was a sound bite machine. Personally, I think the most impressive thing he did during his time on the show was the way he handled his ouster with unparalleled grace and good humor.

So what’d you think of this episode? Should Anthony have gone home? Did Emilio deserve to win? Who do you think the upcoming “opinionated celebrity” is? Finally, does Jay Nicolas own any men’s shorts?

Project Runway: New York State of Mind

Well that was just about the least suspenseful episode of “Project Runway” I’ve ever seen.

It’s too bad because the hour had potential, both from a competitive standpoint (an interesting challenge – well, it was interesting unless you happen to live in New York’s Upper East Side, where apparently NOTHING is interesting) and from a drama standpoint (it was a team challenge).

Instead, it was obvious from the very beginning (and in the middle, and during the runway show) who would excel in the challenge – which was to create a day time and evening look inspired by one of four sections in New York City – and who would absolutely tank. In a crazy random happenstance, the duos who were actually excited about their chosen neighborhoods did well, while the ones who skulked through their field trips ended up in the bottom two.

In the one mildly interesting turn of events in this episode, Emilio conceived and actually carried out a diabolical (in his mind) plan to mess with both Mila and Jay Nicolas. Anthony and Maya (pictured, right, in Chinatown), and Amy and Jonathan (Upper East Side) had already been paired up and Emilio had the next pick. Earlier, he’d confessionalized about not wanting to get “stuck” with Mila (someday, maybe we’ll learn why everyone hates her), but he seemed to take an uncommon amount of glee in selecting Seth Aaron (and choosing his native Harlem), so that Jay Nicolas would have no choice but to work with Mila (in the East Village). Yes, it was incredibly petty, and, no, it didn’t make much sense, but it’s always nice when a plan comes together, so good for you Emilio!

I mean, I feel like I’ve been watching this season pretty closely (I DO recap every episode, after all), and I just don’t remember the part where Jay Nicolas and Mila have this bitter longstanding feud. Yet apparently the (ill) feeling is mutual. Unfortunately, the duo had to go and behave all professionally, which is great for them, but long stretches of silence as the two worked independently didn’t really make for compelling TV.

The field trips were kinda fun (except for the enemy-of-fun Upper East Side). The black people in Harlem seemed as taken aback by Seth Aaron as he did by them (but in a good way), while Anthony probably lost all appetite he might’ve had for duck after his visit to Chinatown. Meanwhile, Jay Nicolas and Mila eyed a bunch of graffiti in the East Village while talking to each other as little as possible.

Not too much activity in the workroom this episode. Makeup guy Collier Strong getting Tim Gunn’s screen time is NOT a change I want to believe in!

Let’s get right to the runway show which, like the rest of this episode was missing something – namely Michael Kors. I’ve seen Michael Kors and, guest judge Francisco Costa (or the “fashionable” Molly Sims) – you are NO Michael Kors.

It was no shock to see Emilio/Seth Aaron and Anthony/Maya in the top 2/4, and it was even less of a shock to see the former team take the top prize. (Ok, so it WAS actually a bit of a shock to see the panel give both Emilio and Seth Aaron the win, a “Runway” first.)

It was very well deserved. Though I dug Emilio’s zippered dress with the yellow peeking out from inside, Seth Aaron’s hip denim outfit was the standout piece. Nina, though, is probably right that he could use a more discerning editing eye (Seth Aaron also benefited from Emilio’s insistence on color), but I actually think it’s kinda cool that he just throws stuff together. It doesn’t always work and I think it’s something that could stop him from winning, but it’s cool.

I really liked Anthony and Maya’s evening look (clever way to incorporate the dragon), but I really wish they would’ve used more red or gold. And even though I liked both the top and the bottom of their day wear look, I thought they looked weird together.

This all left Jay Nicolas/Mila and Amy/Jonathan in the bottom 2/4.

I actually didn’t hate Jay Nicolas and Mila’s work as much as the judges did. Ok, so Jay Nicolas’ tank top WAS a train wreck (it tanked, as Jay himself said), and his entire outfit was probably too hipstery by half (even for the hippest hipster), but, given his excellent track record, there was never any way he was going home. Mila, meanwhile, skated by with yet another black-white, mod creation with a dash of red thrown in.

That meant the team with the least inspiring neighborhood in the history of ever was sent home. Amy and Jonathan could’ve at least tried to go super stately and created a pair of super elegant looks, but Jonathan’s brown evening dress was simply odd, and Amy’s day wear look was a weird creamsicle color that didn’t have anything to do with anything.

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. I like Amy Sarabi, and I think she’s very talented, but sometimes her ideas were just TOO far out there – or at least far enough out there that she couldn’t execute them herself. Most of all, I’ll miss saying “Sarrraaabbbii” ala Scar in “The Lion King” every time her name flashed on screen.

So what’d you think of this episode? Should Jonathan have automatically been made a captain since he won last week and didn’t get immunity? (Would it have made a difference?) Finally, what do people do for fun on the Upper East Side? (Other than watch their maids vacuum their apartments.)

Project Runway: Earth, Wind, Fire and (H)Air

When contestants crap the bed in the competition portion of “American Idol”, for example, it’s downright depressing.

On the other hand, when the designers on “Project Runway” screw the pooch on a challenge, it often leads to LOL-worthy moments.

Last night, the nine remaining designers brought the (unintentional) hilarity when they were tasked with creating a look inspired by one of the four natural elements — earth, fire, wind, water. (We “Captain Planet” fans probably noticed the conspicuous absence of “heart” because everyone knows “heart” is lame and not really an element.)

Unfortunately, this week’s challenge was also the annual “Shoving of the Garnier Fructis Brand Down Our Collective Throats” (More than Usual). As a straight guy who’s been recapping “Project Runway” for years, I realize I’m walking a pretty precarious line, but I find these hair and makeup consults to be absolutely unbearable. (Let’s keep the focus on the clothes and the designers, ok?) Fortunately, they’re relatively short. Also, there was a major missed opportunity by not having fun with stylist Philip Carreon’s name. (No, “Carry on, Philip” joke?!)

Jay got to choose his element (wind), and everyone else selected theirs after having their name drawn from Tim’s tasteful velvet bag. This part of the episode ended up being relatively pointless because, with very few exceptions, the designers either chose to eschew a conventional (or sensible) interpretation of their element or they decided to forego color altogether.

For example, I can respect bright color-loving Anthony’s decision to not use red or orange for his fire-inspired dress, but his structural gray and black gown (inspired by ashes) didn’t really seem to have anything to do with anything. Neither did Seth Aaron’s Matrix-y black leather get up (night air — why not?), Jonathan’s “swirl of laughter” (I guess we technically make air when we laugh) or Maya’s allegedly siren-inspired dress.

And yet, there those three were in the week’s top 3. I’m not saying they weren’t deserving (they actually WERE the top 3 — Jay Nicolas’ and Emilio’s looks were a bit too literal, though I suppose we should be happy Emilio actually completed a dress this week), I’m just saying the designers failed to bring it in what could’ve been a really dynamic challenge.

Jonathan — who spoke about breaking away from the pack and becoming a real threat this week — took the win (but no immunity). I have no problem with his victory, even if I didn’t get the whole “laughter” thing, but he DID put a lot of thought into creating a dress that perfectly complemented his model, and there’s definitely something to be said for that.

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I actually might’ve given the victory to Seth Aaron’s out-there black leather get up (it was FANTASTICALLY-made), but I’m not offended or outraged that he lost to Jonathan. As for Maya’s dress — I thought it was a bit boring, and I felt like her arms looked like they were covered in algae. (You can probably tell I wasn’t a big fan.)

Fortunately, the bottom 3 (Mila, Amy and Ben) provided enough comedy to make up for the uninspired top half of the draw.

Well, not so much Mila, who predictably struggled without being able to revisit her black-and-white, color-blocking, mod wheelhouse. (I actually REALLY liked her earth-y vest — too bad she phoned in the rest of the outfit.)

No, I’m talking about Amy’s painfully misguided bowl of hair (pictured, left) vs. Ben’s shark-inspired droopy suit.

Amy (looking like an oompa-loompa next to her ridiculously-tall model) is obviously very talented, but what the hell was she thinking?! In what universe is it acceptable to give your model the appearance of chest hair (or massive armpit hair from certain angles)? Most of all, I feel bad for model Holly. Last week, she endured Emilio’s metal bikini, and this week she sauntered down the runway as if she was going to serve us a plate full of her hair! I shudder to think what she’ll have to wear next week after modeling two of the worst designs this show has EVER seen in consecutive weeks.

All that being said, I’m still perfectly fine with Ben going home (and so is he apparently).

The result isn’t exactly a surprise given that Ben logged more screen time in this episode (including the requisite emotional phone call home) than he had in all previous episodes of this season COMBINED. There was also the matter of his hideous shark suit, which was a boring color, hideously tailored AND tacky. (Michael Kors REALLY hated those shark teeth.)

Let’s talk about the pants for a minute, because I’m having a hard time deciding if it’s worse to make your model look like she has chest hair or a penis. Ben’s model seriously looked like she was packing down there, didn’t she? Yikes. Thank heavens for Michael Kors, who rightly called out the horror of Ben’s “jockstrap pant.”

So what’d you think of this episode? Did the right person go home last night? Just how questionable was guest judge Roland Mouret’s mustache? Finally, who do you think will be next to go home?