Project Runway: Team Challenged

I think I finally figured out why “Project Runway” expanded to 90-minute episodes this year: Gretchen talks SO much that a mere hour couldn’t contain all her rambling.

I’ll talk more about Gretchen — including my surprising mini-defense of the “Manipulative One” — a bit later. First, I want to discuss the latest episode in what is quickly becoming an increasingly delicious (too gay?) season.

The challenge for the week was blah blah something about creating a collection in line with fashion trends for fall 2010 blah. All you needed to know was that this was the season’s first team challenge.

As we all know team challenges on any reality show — and in real life — usually end in disaster. This person tries to take over…that person doesn’t pull his or her weight. On “Project Runway”, the naturally-tense team dynamic is multiplied by 1,000 since the work these designers do is often so intensely personal. And I haven’t even thrown the necessary “creativity” into the mix.

“What John Thinks” favorite Michael C. got the first pick and made his biggest misstep of the competition (even worse than not being able to create a proper cowl): he picked Gretchen. At first glance, it wasn’t a terrible pick. Gretchen HAS won two challenges after all. Upon further review (and by “further review”, I mean “after thinking it over for five seconds”), this was a bad choice. The teams weren’t supposed to have leaders, but it was clear to everyone but Michael C. that Gretchen would inevitably take over. (In case you’re curious, I would’ve used my first pick on Valerie.)

Gretchen was the unofficial head of Team Luxe, which selected the concept of “Menswear for Women” and “camel” as their fabric. They faced off against unofficial leader Valerie and the team unofficially known as the “Bad News Bears”, who had zero challenge wins between them and selected a “military” concept with “lace.”

For a while, the editing was setting up Team Luxe’s fall (and the misfits’ victory) SO obviously, that I thought they were faking us out and that the “cool” kids might pull out the victory after all.

That feeling got stronger when the show gave us a confused/insecure Peach and Casanova going Casanova. After his 22nd consecutive unfavorable critique from Tim, Casanova lost it. Since the judges repeatedly questioned his taste, he threatened to quit and resigned himself to a life of designing for old ladies and sluts. He was eventually talked off the ledge by his Titi, Michael C., his model and Valerie, who told him to put his panties back on in her confessional.

Even with all that individual drama, the Island of Misfit Boys and Girls largely ended up winning the challenge for that very individuality. Team Luxe, on the other hand, opted for a more homogenous approach that had everyone working on everyone’s outfit, even if it completely clashed with their design aesthetic. (Hi, A.J.! Um, bye!)

Personally, I wasn’t blown away by either collection. I thought some of the pieces in the military/lace collection were a bit iffy (except for the gold buttons, what did Peach’s have to do with anything), and I didn’t think Team Luxe’s work was as bad as the judges made it out to be (Christopher’s pants were pretty great). Well, except for the part where nothing stood out, and the models didn’t look the least bit current.

The two standouts from the Bad News Bears were Peach and Casanova, with our “Fish in the Water” taking the victory for the week. Raise your hand if you had him winning this (or any) week. (Stop lying!)

Still, it can probably be argued that the show didn’t really start until Team Luxe faced the judges for their critiques. Backstage, they’d agreed to present a united front, and they stubbornly stuck to that tactic early on when Gretchen did most of the talking about how she adored the collection. In fact, they were a little TOO united for my taste — things got downright weird for me when a few of the designers started tearing up.

That camaraderie eventually crumbled when the judges started picking apart the team’s/Gretchen’s aesthetic. Feeling the tide turning, Gretchen quickly jumped on the “this collection sucks” bandwagon, calling it “crappy” and pointing out the “awful 80’s dress” she made. Things got even worse when the judges asked who the weakest designer was.

Now, I don’t know enough about design — and nobody knows enough about what’s been going on backstage this season — to know if Michael C. is really as untalented as Team Luxe made him out to be. However, any way you slice it, the fact that they piled on him only served to make everyone look bad. (What a shame that A.J., the only person who accepted responsibility for his shortcomings this week, got sent home.) What’s worse is that Michael had immunity, so the piling on was absolutely pointless since Michael C. couldn’t be eliminated — unless the point was to make Michael cry, which he did backstage.

Normally, I’d tell him to nut up, but some of the insults were downright personal and nasty —which brings me to Ivy, my LEAST favorite contestant this season. (Yes, even more than Gretchen.) I mean, Gretchen may be horrible, but she has some wins in her pocket and has her own voice. Ivy has proven herself to be nothing more than a wretched sycophant eager to do Gretchen’s bidding and ready to nod along to her every order. The “I don’t know if it’s laziness or ignorance” comment was bad enough, but how about her suggestion that Michael C. might tank this challenge because he had immunity. Ugh, I hate her.

And that’s why I was absolutely flabbergasted that she wasn’t in the bottom 2 (or even the bottom 3). I suppose that I’m glad the judges stuck Gretchen in the bottom 2 to give her a wakeup call. However, that wakeup call came a few moments later courtesy of Tim Gunn, who probably delivered his finest Tim Gunn moment last night. (And that’s saying something.)

Before sending A.J. home to pack his belongings and leave, he had these articulate, cutting words for Team Luxe. I’ll re-print them verbatim because it was just THAT good:

“I fundamentally do not understand your behavior and demeanor and affect on the runway. I don’t get it. I don’t know why you allowed Gretchen to manipulate, control, and bully you. I don’t understand it.”

Boom. Roasted.

The only thing I would add (in Gretchen’s slight defense) is that it’s not her fault that her teammates were a bunch of weak, brainless minions. Would’ve been nice to see someone stand up to her.

So what’d you think of this episode? Were Casanova’s struggles really making him fat? (That was fantastically random.) Should the models be allowed to help the designers with their sewing? (It seems like cheating to me, but the real solution would be to stop having insane one-day challenges!) Will Ivy and the others continue to see the light or will their epiphany prove short-lived? Finally, what’s the female equivalent of “butt buddy”? (Because that’s what Ivy is to Gretchen.)