Jersey Shore: Note-Worthy

I realize the eligibility period for this Sunday’s Emmys ended a while ago. That’s too bad because a couple of “Jersey Shore” cast members gave award-worthy performances last night.

For better or worse (worse!), the main storyline this season has been the Ronnie/Sammi drama. At the end of last week, J-Woww and Snooki composed a note detailing just a sampling of Ronnie’s transgressions (I believe fat girls, multiple makeout partners, and taking shots off of breasts were involved).

This week, they snuck the note into Sammi’s stuff — nice to see Sammi has one of those plastic drawer storage contraptions from K-Mart like the rest of us. Afterwards, everyone else tried their damndest to convince her that they didn’t know anything about the note or about what Ronnie had been up to.

I’m actually going to switch things up a bit and hand out some awards.

Best Actor in a Drama: Pauly D. We couldn’t see his face when Sammi confronted him about Ronnie making out with two girls, but Pauly D’s voice and speech never wavered. He was so damned convincing as the told Sammi that he never saw Ronnie because he was busy doing his own thing, that it made the flashback to Pauly D laughing and pointing to Ronnie as he, yep, made out with two girls all the more glorious.

Best Actor in a Comedy: The Situation. Ok, so he didn’t have to pretend to not know about the note (he REALLY didn’t know), and Ronnie/Sammi never really confronted him, so he didn’t have to lie. However, his uproarious laughter upon hearing about the note was an absolute highlight of this episode. That laughter over the childishness of everything put the ridiculous Ronnie/Sammi melodrama in perspective. Bonus points for recovering nicely after confirming an item in the note by saying, “If it’s on paper, it’s the truth.”

Worst Actor in a Drama: Ronnie. Even Ronnie is beginning to act like he’s completely over the Ronnie/Sammi drama. He re-deployed his “Deny, deny, deny” strategy, but his heart didn’t really seem to be into it and I didn’t believe him. (And that’s not just because I KNOW he’s lying.) Further proof that he’s no longer invested in this relationship — he immediately went into the other room and told his hometown honey to meet him in Miami for some G.T.S. (If you don’t know what the “S” stands for, you haven’t been paying attention.)

Worst Actress in a Drama: Snooki. Our poor Snooki simply cannot tell a lie. She could NOT make eye contact with Sammi when the erstwhile Ms. Sweetheart was grilling her. If The Situation hadn’t come in at that point, I think she would’ve cracked.

Quietest Supporting Actor in a Drama: Vinny. He used whispers and sign language to warn Ronnie about the note. Somehow the fact that low-key Vinny’s signature moment in this episode involved him not talking was…perfect.

Best Supporting Performance: J-Woww’s hands. They did a nice job holding up J-Woww’s breasts as she admired herself in the mirror.

Believe it or not, other stuff happened in the episode!

The night opened with what looked like was going to be a sequel to the classic season 1 episode that introduced the country to the term grenade. The Situation set it up so that two sets of girls arrived at the house. However, whatever conflict (or excitement) there could have been was quickly defused when Mike separated the girls, put the grenade-y hippo to bed (did he slip her Ambien?), while MVP took care the other three girls.

In other Situation news, he got into a dust-up with Angelina who (shockingly!) refused to do dishes. The two got into a shouting match that hilariously ended with the Situation telling Angelina to hit the elliptical because it would be better for her than the treadmill. Once again, whatever drama could’ve arisen from this was quickly squashed when the Situation apologized and included Angelina in the group dinner. (Personally, I would’ve apologized and STILL excluded her from the dinner unless she did the dishes — I’m not a cook AND a maid!)

The rest of the highlights sprang from little moments that show you how close the cast has become.

Snooki and Emilio re-broke up when he found out she’d been clubbing with some gays. (He then threatened to party with lesbians.) I liked the way J-Woww was there for her girl (even if that mid-street hug was dangerous), and the way Pauly D jokingly(?) threatened to track down Emilio.

I also got a kick out of the fact that Ronnie thinks he knows Snooki so well, that he dismissed her as the author of the note because she wouldn’t possibly use the word “wisely.” Low-blow! Snooki learned and used the word “sympathetic” in this episode — she’s virtually a tiny, orange thesaurus!

So what’d you think of this episode? Why don’t any of the guys (or their girls) get grossed out by the fact that two other people are having sex about three feet away?