I wasn’t sure if I was going to recap this season of “Project Runway.”I didn’t watch the season premiere until about five days after it aired, so I didn’t recap it and falling behind after the very first episode didn’t feel great. The new, expanded 90-minute format scared me — it’s ok now that there are approximately 45 designers to meet, but it has the potential to get downright painful when there are 5 or 6 people left and the show struggles to fill those 90 minutes. Finally, those constant commercials for “Army Wives” on Lifetime are starting to get to me.
Yet here I am.
Though I still predict that I’ll be ripping my hair out later in the season, the 90-minute format isn’t too bad yet. (It gave us time to learn about oddball Mondo’s loneliness, though no mention was made of the creepy little doll he keeps on his bedside.)
Mostly though, I wanted to write a recap so I could completely trash designer/bowler hat enthusiast/all-purpose creeper Jason.
This douchesack (he’s doucheyness is much too big to be confined to a bag) rubbed me the wrong way from his awkward introduction in the season premiere, where he claimed that he wore his bowler hat to intimidate people. (Huh?!) I mean, Alex DeLarge wore a bowler, so I guess he can be scary. Now the only thing Jason is missing is charisma. And a clue.
Over the course of the episode’s 90 minutes (the expanded format REALLY allowed Jason’s awfulness to breathe) Jason came up with a clunker of a design concept (infinity/ the number 8 to symbolize…season 8 of “Project Runway”) and delivered another clunky, unfinished dress. Last week he held his backwards kimono together with staples, and this week he used safety pins to close the hole over his model’s belly button that he previously claimed had been intentional. (If he were around next week, maybe he’d whip out scotch tape!)
…and those are the least reprehensible things he did! The worst offense is a tie between throwing his model under the bus by saying she was inadequate for the runway (no wonder she looked miserable/angry in her photo and during judging), and snubbing Tim Gunn after being eliminated. (We don’t like it when people are mean to Tim.) Earlier in the episode, Jason cried “heterophobia” by saying that he was a “straight guy in a gay man’s world” following an unfavorable critique from Tim. (Never mind the fact that straight guy Seth Aaron won this show just last year!)
Wait, I almost forgot about the part where he brusquely lifted his model’s dress on the runway and revealed her underwear…!
Ok, I’m going to stop now because, believe it or not, there are other people on this show.
The challenge this week was something about creating a look for the intelligent, elegant, blah blah blah, Marie Claire reader that would be displayed on a 40-foot billboard in Times Square. To be honest, I wasn’t really paying much attention during this part because the challenge was so uninspiring (even the mid-challenge photo shoot twist was mostly a “Top Model”-lite dud) and because I was too busy marveling at how much Marie Claire editor-in-chief Joanna Coles looks like Helen Mirren.
Despite the fact that there are SO many designers at this stage of the competition, it was pretty easy to predict who’d land in the top and bottom 3 simply based on how the workroom segments were edited.
The one wrinkle was Casanova avoiding the chopping block after a look that made his model look pregnant, and after asking anyone who would listen for help in the workroom. A.J. probably could’ve found a nicer way of brushing him off than rudely exclaiming “I’m not going to pattern for you!” which was especially vexing from a guy who also made his model look like she was pregnant. (With a square alien baby.) In the end, Casanova found help from (now) two-time winner/hip buddy Gretchen.
To be honest, I haven’t really been blown away by Gretchen’s designs (her winning jumpsuit outfit looked like something Tyra might’ve worn during the seventh week of the most recent cycle of “Top Model”), but she gets extra points for making a decent pair of pants on her first solo try and for hilariously trying to explain to Casanova what “bosom buddies” means.
For my money, the win should’ve gone to Valerie for her bright red, zippered, jaunty dress. Michael instantly became a favorite of mine when he congratulated Gretchen, but claimed that Valerie should’ve won. (Between that, and saying that he was trying to befriend Jason so that the creep wouldn’t murder him, it’s like Michael has a direct line into my brain.) Mondo rounded out the top 3 with his whimsical outfit. Personally, I might’ve gone with Christopher D’s short, mesh black dress, but Mondo needed the confidence boost.
The bottom 3 was comprised of Peach, Nicholas and Jason. Peach was lost from the beginning after a safe fabric choice, and the defeatist attitude appeared to have spread to her model, who looked miserable the entire time. Fortunately, Peach proved that she can work fast (creating three separate outfits), and earned a stay of execution (which is great because she’s hilarious AND self-aware).
Nicholas had no such luck, and became the second (and most emotional) contestant to get the boot last night for his overdesigned look/underdeveloped-in-the-back blouse.
The judges are really crapping the bed this season. Their decision to send McKell home last week seemed totally random. (It should’ve been Jason and/or even Nicholas.) This week, I strongly feel that Nicholas had shown enough as a designer to merit another chance, but they sent him packing when most of America would’ve probably been satisfied with watching just Jason get eliminated.
Oh well — at least they DID get rid of Jason.
So what’d you think of this episode? Are you enjoying the extended format? Do you miss “Models of the Runway?” Finally, which designer would you say is more likely to be a serial killer — Jason or Mondo?
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