Jersey Shore: MVP! MVP!

Ronnie and Sammi have GOT to go.

Actually, I’d just be ok if Sammi left since all she’s doing these days is sulking, isolating herself from the rest of the group, and perfecting her impersonation of a doormat. (She’s got that impersonation down pat seeing as how she let Ronnie crawl into bed after he called her a “f---ing bitch” at a club.)

Ronnie can stay because I, at least, enjoy watching him dance. Wait, what am I saying? Ronnie needs to go to. It’s perfect timing – since Lindsay Lohan is apparently being allowed to leave rehab early, it’ll open up a spot for Ronnie, who needs it in a bad way.

(Note: I realize neither of them is leaving the show since season 3 is filming as we speak.)

My point is that the Ronnie/Sammi relationship has become so dysfunctional and SO ugly that it takes away from the fun I’m supposed to be having watching this show. I realize I just made a joke about how much fun it is to see Ronnie get wasted and start creepin’ on other girls, but watching the emotional abuse he’s inflicting on Sammi (and the light shove he gave Snooki when she tried to step in) is troubling. (It’s also no picnic to see Sammi allow all this to happen.) Last season, Ronnie struck me as one of the smarter, more sensitive people in the house – I can’t help but feel that he’s intentionally trying to hurt Sammi at this point.

If this season has a storyline, then it’s all been about when is Sammi going to find out what Ronnie (who called Sammi his girlfriend) has been up to – and who is going to be the one to tell her. I’d actually be interested in this if I didn’t believe that, even after Sammi finds out, there’s a good chance she’ll forgive him a few hours later when he crawls into bed with her. And around and around we go.

Fortunately, there WERE some fun shenanigans at the house.

We picked up right where we left off last week with Angelina pestering Pauly D and slapping him in the face a few times. The best part was seeing whether Pauly D or The Situation could look the most confused and horrified by Angelina’s antics. (Pauly D’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their socket.) Wait, maybe the best part was a groggy J-Woww wandering into the scene and claiming that she would beat Angelina’s ass if she wasn’t drunk. (Ever the sportswoman, J-Woww has no interest in fighting someone who is impaired.)

Equally as entertaining was seeing Angelina struggle to understand the concept of Pauly D accepting her apology for striking him, but not wanting to hang out with her anymore. The concept of people not wanting to hang out with her should be pretty familiar to Angelina by now.

This week also saw the most time the cast has spent at their “jobs” in the gelato shop. After watching this episode, I’m sort of hoping the guys take their boss Enzo out on one of their pub crawls.

The highlights from the work scenes included J-Woww’s (barely) contained boobs (Vinny wants to bring Albert Einstein back to study them), The Situation’s abs failing to draw customers in, and Snooki not being able to see over the counter without a step ladder. (“I’m a f---ing Smurf!”)

Vinny also decided he wanted to be called “Vincenzo” and work on his Italian. I guess now’s a good time as any to check in with the progress on Vinny’s quest to be interesting. Let’s see, this week he made a big deal about a haircut that made his hair look exactly the same. Then, in his biggest move to date, it was implied that he may or may not have banged Snooki after complimenting her earlier in the evening and spending with her in bed. If I believed for a second that those two did ANYTHING I might find this compelling, but I don’t, so I don’t. (Naturally, the best part was The Situation busting Vinny’s chops when Vinny was on the phone with Snooki’s boyfriend.) Nice try though, Vinny.

Fortunately for Vinny, his name begins with a “V”, which means he’s an invaluable member of MVP. (Mikey, Vinny and Pauly.) Angelina wanted to get in on the club-hopping fun, but the guys devised a brilliant plan to get away from her – they waited until she turned around and ran away. Seriously.

We’ve watched the subsequent scene (with the grenades in the hot tub) teased in commercials since the season premiere, so I couldn’t help but be let down. More importantly, it simply paled in comparison with the classic season 1 episode in which The Situation introduced the term grenade. (That being said, I did laugh at The Situation claiming that Pauly D had been hypnotized into making out with a “hyena.”)

Still, seeing the guys make fun of the stray chicken cutlet (and the embarrassment on the girl’s face after her boob enhancement fell out) made them seem a touch cruel. It’s especially perplexing since The Situation (as much as a I love the guy) is the very definition of a “butter face” himself.

So what’d you think of this episode? Are you fed up with Ronnie or Sammi? How do J-Woww’s boobs NOT pop out? Finally, why did it take so long for Angelina to apologize, since it came relatively quickly and naturally in this episode?