Project Runway: Always a Bridesmaid

I’m starting to get the feeling that, even after Michael Costello is crowned the winner of this season’s “Project Runway” and drives off in the automobile provided by whatever car company paid the most to have its vehicle prominently placed on this show, the rest of the designers will STILL be throwing their hands up in the air and bitching about how he can’t sew and/or construct.

It’s been a weird, wonderful season this time out on “Project Runway” (emphasis on weird), so why not?

There appear to be two sides. On one side, we have Michael C. who, if the other contestants were to be believed, doesn’t even know what a sewing machine looks like. On the other side, we have Queen Gretchen, who is unofficially lording over every other designer not named Casanova and leading them in their utter disregard and contempt for Michael C. (The only thing more disappointing than Valerie and Peach jumping on the “I Hate Michael C.” bandwagon last night, was the fact that the effects of last week’s Tim Gunn smackdown and Ivy’s “ah-ha” revelation lasted about five seconds.)

If you’ve been reading this recap, you know that I like Michael C. a lot. Not so much his work (I think it’s lovely, though not the most exciting stuff in the world — then again, what do I know about fashion?), but more his sense of humor and witty insights about his fellow competitors.

Frankly, it’s weird that the person being presented as the season’s laughingstock is one of my favorite contestants. Usually, when reality shows paint someone as a joke, we can all pretty much agree that he’s a buffoon, and enjoy pointing and laughing at him until he’s finally eliminated around week 6. (For a while, this was going to be you, Casanova!) With Michael, I don’t really understand where the producers are going with this.

If his construction/sewing skills are even a fraction as poor as everyone says they are, then he’s got no chance of winning, so setting him up as some sort of underdog would be a colossal waste of time. On the other hand, if they’re honestly trying to paint him as a villain, then they’re failing there too. Since the show hasn’t never EVER shown Michael doing anything that would deserve the amount of venom he’s gotten from everyone else (and why wouldn’t they, if they had the footage?), it’s basically making everyone else look condescending, immature, and petty.

Basically, the only thing the show has accomplished since premiering more than a month ago is that it’s made us hate 95% of the people on it. (Um, yay?)

But I hate for this recap to be as Michael C.-entric as last night’s episode.

The challenge was for the designers to take bridesmaids dresses (they looked like prom dresses at first flance) and transform them into something chic. Thankfully, the designers didn’t have time to complain about working with “real women” models because they were focused on how fugly their dresses were.

The highlight from the selection was Mondo’s face after notice the ugly white color on the back of his choice’s gown, Michael D. drawing the short straw, and the model who pointed out that her dress had a vertical bow on her chest.

Before the runway, the designers got to show their wares at a “designers showcase” with regular people who voted for their favorite outfits by placing buttons in a bowl.

This was also the setting for the episode’s scandal, in which Ivy claimed that Michael started a rumor that she was the “beyotch” of the show.

Now, the fact that I’ve probably never hated a “Project Runway” contestant more than I hate Ivy is probably coloring my opinion, but I call BS. If Michael were really saying that, don’t you think a camera would’ve caught it (or caught a second or third party passing that around). It’s also mighty suspicious that the rumor originated from Ivy (we never saw anyone telling HER about the rumor). Finally, when Michael C. tried to confront her and tell her he wasn’t behind it, she said in her confessional that she chose not to believe him because she doesn’t like his character (approaching her head-on like an adult) or track record (two wins as of last night). Michael said Ivy could talk to his model if she didn’t believe him, but Ivy declined — because she knew it was horses---.

Ivy made the “rumor” up, and you can’t convince me otherwise. (Never mind that she IS the beyotch of the show!)

Mondo won the people’s vote/button challenge for his funky, mod-ish pink and black dress, and was joined in the top 3 by Michael C. (insert sound of s--- hitting the fan) and Christopher, who seemed to be there by default, since half the judges were mixed on his dress, but still gets MAJOR props for making it work after his model got cold feet at the last minutes. (Christopher loses most of those props for claiming Gretchen doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body.)

To be honest, I was kinda, sorta pulling for Mondo to win both because he deserved it AND because I knew I’d have to endure at least another week of “HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??!!” whining from Gretchen and Co. And, in fact, as soon as they learned he was in the top 3 (and after he was gone from the room), they acted as if they were on “Punk’d.” Any attempt to make Gretchen likable (showing her chatting with mom) was quickly washed away by this display.

In the end, Michael won. I didn’t like the lace add-on to the top of his dress at first, but when I saw how dress the bottom of the dress was, I’m glad it was there to balance things out. Whether you thought Michael C. deserved to win or not, I think any reasonable person can agree that he did NOT deserve to go home and he didn’t even have one of the worst three looks. It’s a damn shame that the dude looked completely ashamed that he won when he returned backstage.

Speaking of the bottom 3, that (dis)honor went to Valerie (who made her model look shorter AND wider), Michael D. and Peach. Valerie wasn’t going anywhere, so let’s talk about the other two. At least Michael D. knew (and fretted) about his mosquito netting fabric looking cheap — he just didn’t make the proper adjustments. (I also don’t know that I agree with the judges in that it was worse than the original dress.)

That left Peach (funny, kind, self-aware Peach) as the clear designer to get the boot, for one of the ugliest outfits I’ve ever seen on the show. The color and ruffles were hopelessly bad — and that was before we got to the “avocado dinner napkins.” (How does Michael Kors do it?!) She HAD to go, but it’s a shame to lose one of the few people who don’t devote 99% of their time to hating Michael C.

So what’d you think of this episode? Do you like that the judges seem to be placing more emphasis on styling this year? (I’m not imagining that, right?) Finally, who else thinks Casanova’s stock is on the rise? He got his first positive critique from Tim Gunn and, more importantly, was the only person to say kind words and show respect toward Michael C. (Then again, if Casanova is your only ally, you’re gonna need a bigger boat.)