Jersey Shore: Vinny, Vidi, Vici

I can’t decide what was worse.

Last year, MTV relentlessly promoted their burgeoning phenomenon by repeatedly showing the moment where Snooki got popped in the face by a man while out at a bar. However, by the time the episode aired they decided not to show the punch.

As weak as that was, last night’s switcheroo was probably even more frustrating.

It was teased during the season premiere’s previews. It was teased during last week’s “Next Week” preview. It’s shown up on every “Jersey Shore” commercial this week. Yet, when it finally came time for J-Woww and Sammi to throw down, the end credits had already run, and we only saw about 15 seconds of the skirmish.

Inexcusable. (Ignore my lead sentence — I think I just decided that this was worse.)

Though the Ronnie/Sammi drama may have come to an emotional head during last week’s episode, the conflict manifested itself in a more “Jersey Shore”-appropriate way this week. That means people were in each other’s faces, and fists were flying.

All of that PLUS Vinny — who I gently mock every week for being completely forgettable — stepped up in a big way and left his fingerprints all over this episode (and all over Snooki).

MTV cruelly teased us by making us think J-Woww and Sammi were going to fight relatively early in the episode. J-Woww and Snooki wanted to talk to Sammi about “the note”, and had Angelina (who they’ve somehow roped into the assuming responsibility for the note) summon her. Sammi, who apparently hasn’t seen enough Italian gangster movies and doesn’t realize that being “summoned” is simply how it’s done, refused to come outside, which set off an argument between J-Woww and Sammi. (Though, to be fair, a particularly violent sneeze would probably set off an argument with J-Woww.)

J-Woww basically verbalized what we’ve all been thinking (with extra F-words added in) about Sammi being a sap and Ronnie being a douche for treating her wrong. Still, she stopped just short of admitting that she and Snooki were responsible for the note.

This is why Sammi’s the worst. It’s bad enough that she keeps stupidly running back into Ronnie’s arm after he’s repeatedly (and clearly) lied to and cheated on her. Now, she seems more fixated on and obsessed with finding the identity of the note writer.

In fact, the big winner in last night’s episode was Ronnie — no one was really mad at him last night. Sammi was mad at everyone else in the house for not telling her that Ronnie was doing her wrong, while J-Woww was mad at Sammi for being such a doormat. (Meanwhile, Ronnie was off in the corner instigating Sammi to keep the attention away from him.)

Speaking of attention, I don’t ever remember as much of it being lavished on Vinny before.

There he was in the beginning hooking up with Snooki (legitimately this time), after she tried out Pauly D and The Situation as cuddle partners. (What guy doesn’t love being third choice?) There he is going to the doctor out of fear that he’d gotten pink eye again. (Ok, so Pauly D pretty much stole this segment with his comments.) Here’s Vinny putting on a chain that are exactly like J-Woww’s t-ts (“looks sick, but it’s fake”) to impress The Situation’s visiting sister. (Who Vinny had hooked up with before.)

Most importantly, there’s Vinny being the one to try to restore some sense of justice in the house.

After Angelina (having found a new ally in Sammi) tried to misconstrue J-Woww’s comments and make it seem like she was talking crap about Pauly D, Vinny (the self-proclaimed quiet one) jumped in to set things right. More than that, he went to J-Woww and told her what Angelina (who’d been alarmingly scandal free) was trying to do. (LOVED J-Woww tossing her item of clothing aside before leaving her room and heading for battle.)

We’ll have to wait till next week to see who wins the J-Woww/Sammi fight, but I’m already looking forward to the inevitable tag team match between Vinny/J-Woww vs. Ronnie/Sammi at Survivor Series.

Other than that, we got to watch the girls (minus lazy Debbie Downer Sammi) make dinner for the guys, despite the fact that they lost Snooki’s shopping list, which had been written in chalk. Of course it was.

So what’d you think of this episode? Have you ever accidentally drunk a cigarette? Have we ever seen Pauly D that drunk? (He kissed Angelina, so I’m going with “no.”) Was anyone else taken aback by the mature heart-to-heart between The Situation and Sammi? (Maturity? Wha?!) Finally, why did no one else point out that the girl The Situation hooked up with was a total grenade/hippo? (And I haven’t even gotten to the tranny!)