Project Runway Rundown: Dread, White and Blue

I always thought the Olympics were a little gay.

Before you start typing your hate mail, I don't mean that as a slam at all. I really enjoy the Olympics and I've seen a significant portion of every summer and winter competition I can remember in my lifetime. What I mean is with all the tight outfits, pageantry and general androgyny among many of the athletes, I always figured the gays would be drawn to the Olympics more than to stuff like hockey or football.

Judging by last night's episode of "Project Runway," that's not necessarily the case.

After a "let's eliminate a model" session that was only notable for the fact that Heidi was wearing a puffy shirt, the designers followed Tim Gunn to the National Track and Field Hall of Fame Museum at the Armory in Washington Heights. There, they met up with Olympic gold medal winner/ballroom dancer Apolo "Apparently No Longer Anton" Ohno, who displayed his versatility by showing he can not only skate on ice, but on a hard track.

Ohno (pictured, right with Tim Gunn) introduced the (timely/cash-in for NBC) challenge, which was to design an outfit for the Olympic opening ceremonies this Friday (I detected a huge sigh of relief when Ohno told them they'd only be designing womenswear).

I was a lot more excited about this challenge before I realized the Olympians wouldn't actually be wearing the "Project Runway" designs in Beijing, but this episode — probably my favorite this season — still provided plenty of entertainment. (Most importantly, this episode also provided a complete break from the term "-licious" and from Suede referring to himself in the third person.)

The designers were allowed to wander aimlessly/hopelessly through, I mean seek inspiration from the Hall of Fame museum and we learned that many of the designers aren't all that much into sports (shocker, right?!). Conversely, we learned Joe the Token Straight Guy is totally into sports (because, he's straight!) and felt like he had this challenge in the bag.

The teams made their brief stop at Mood, which was only notable for a small incident in which Keith apparently took Terri's fabric. Two things: 1. this is the second week in a row there's been some pseudo-manufactured drama about Keith being an a-hole (I'm not buying it). 2. Terri and her "Oh no you di-in't" established herself as the "sassy black woman" this season, as opposed to Korto, who's the "earthy black woman." (We all know, "sassy", "earthy," and "bitchy/Omarosa" are the only types of black women allowed on reality TV.)

Anyway, I was delighted to see this episode spend a large amount of time in the workroom with the designers. We learned about Korto's past before coming to the U.S. (which makes me think the producers are setting her up for a long, possibly Bryant Park run), Blayne CAN be funny on purpose ("If tanning were a sport, it'd only go up to a bronze medal") and that Joe could use a little self-awareness.

How'd you like his workroom meltdown after Daniel (who ALWAYS looks like he's out of it) re-threaded one of his sewing machines? He claimed that there was too much drama in the workroom because there were too many queens, but Joe was the only one kicking up a fuss.

Tim dropped by for his visit and was made to feel extremely old by Blayne, who had no idea what "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" was, and whose only frame of reference for the Beatles is "Across the Universe." I must be feeling generous this week because I'm NOT going to kill Blayne for that one. I mean, he's a young guy, so why WOULD he be into "Sgt. Pepper's." I realize it's a landmark album, and, personally, I'm aware of the album, but I've never sat down and listened to it — so I can't exactly kill a guy for not knowing the album. That would make me a hypocrite — like Joe.

The runway came and what we got were mostly hot messes that looked more like superhero costumes than something our country's athletes would ever actually wear in public.

The top three were Korto, Terri and Joe, while the bottom three was Jerrell, Jennifer and Daniel. Once again, Stella inexplicably escaped the bottom three (black does NOT equal Olympics), while Kenley was lucky she had immunity because her dress was just as purple as Daniel's.

For the second week in a row, Terri came up JUST short of winning a challenge, though I actually preferred her blazer, pants, etc. combo to Korto's flowy white pants and sporty designs. Still, I can understand why Korto won, since the white outfit seems more like something athletes would wear (if this challenge had any real stakes). Joe settled for third place after designing a skort outfit that was sporty, but not much else. Also, I just don't like the word "skort."

Something surprising happened when the judges critiqued the bottom three. No, not that Jennifer got eliminated for designing her second matronly outfit in a row (ouch!). I mean that outfit was the complete opposite of the Olympics. Also, someone needs to explain to her what surrealism means. To paraphrase Inigo Montoya from "The Princess Bride": "I do not think that word means what you think it means."

No what surprised me is that I actually felt a little bad for Jerrell after Michael Kors openly laughed out loud at his outfit. I don't even particularly like Jerrell, but I was embarrassed for him. I mean, it wasn't that his garment was badly made — it was just completely wrong! Am I actually starting to, um, care for these people?

So what'd you think of this episode? Tim Gunn isn't going to use "holla at cha boy" every week now, is he? Is Apolo Ohno really "one of the most stylish Olympics athletes" as Heidi said? (I thought about it, and I guess he is.) Finally, do bikers REALLY watch the Olympics en masse (as Stella suggested)?