Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: Do No Harm

For a show that’s had both feet firmly planted in the highly-stylized, “Screw logic! We’re gonna be as crazy as we can and have fun doing it” camp for the last couple of seasons, the latest season finale of “Nip/Tuck” was a real downer.

I mean, even the obligatory sex scene — a pregnant Kimber seducing Dr. Mike in hopes of tricking him into thinking he knocked her up — was more sad and desperate than it was hot. (Although Mike instantly diagnosing that she was pregnant was funny.)

Now, I’ve actually been ok with the show’s foray into ridiculousness — it’s not like “Nip/Tuck” is pretending to be all classy like “Mad Men” and I dig the unpredictability and, yes, the joyful depravity of the more outlandish episodes.

Still, “Wesley Clovis” was probably the closest this show has come to being a serious drama since its season 2 heyday. I realize the previous sentence should be unquantifiable praise, but I mostly felt like I was thrown for a loop.

I mentioned Kimber before, and I have to go back there again because Kelly Carlson has been kind of excellent the last couple of weeks.

Kimber notified Christian that he was pregnant, but Christian – having apparently taken too many of his asshole pills earlier in the day – told her to get rid of “it” if she wanted to be with him. After Plan B (Mike) didn’t work out, Kimber did what Kimber always ends up doing – she made a major sacrifice in order to satisfy Christian.

One of the episode’s unexpected treats was the scene between Kimber and Liz, the only person Kimber could think of to drive her home after her abortion. Earlier in the episode, Liz had surmised that Kimber getting pregnant was a way for her to keep Christian around. However, watching the two women bond over their “hate that I love him” relationship with Christian was touching. THIS is a good use of Liz, as opposed to the scorned, spiteful ex-wife from earlier this season.

It would’ve been nice if Christian’s character had SOME shading in this episode. Despite his actions and the fact that Kimber has said that she doesn’t believe Christian has a heart, I think we can all agree that the show has gone out of its way to show us that Christian, no matter how misguided and selfish he is, is NOT 100% evil. That’s why it was so disappointing to see him behave so horribly toward Kimber.

Maybe we can chalk it up to the fact that he was concerned about Matt’s life.

Sean and Christian were presented with an enticing offer: if they performed liposuction on a death room inmate accused of rape and murder to make him fit for execution, Matt would be let go. (Good negotiating skills, Christian!) Christian jumped at the chance, but Sean wasn’t interested in contributing to the death of a human being.

This was confusing for a couple of reasons. 1.) When Matt was a fugitive, Sean was the one who didn’t want to turn Matt into the police, while Christian was the one who thought jail would do him well. I can understand Christian’s change of heart, given that he knows how Matt has been terrorized in jail, but it was confusing to see Sean act this way. 2.) I’ve seen every last episode of this show (and I have them all on DVD) – let’s just say Sean has done WAY worse things from an ethical standpoint than helping the state execute an inmate.

Speaking of which, I would’ve appreciated if the simpleminded Wesley Clovis (played in a nice dramatic turn by the great Eric Stonestreet of “Modern Family”) hadn’t been so obviously innocent. The simpleminded inmate being executed gave off a whiff of “The Green Mile”, while the “my cellmate confessed to REALLY committing the crime” reeked of “The Shawshank Redemption.” (I guess the writers were reading some Stephen King in their Book of the Month club.)

Anyway, the guys eventually agreed to the surgery, and Matt was free to go. Matt chose his freedom even though it meant that an innocent man was being executed. I know we were meant to be surprised by Matt’s choice to let a man die so he can go free, but why? Matt’s pretty much always been a loser scumbag – now he’s got an evil streak just like his (biological) daddy. The warden was right – Matt’s not exactly rehabilitated.

That led to the heartbreaking execution scene (very well played by Stonestreet, Dylan Walsh and Julian McMahon), which came before an even better scene.

Previous “Nip/Tuck” cliffhangers have had Christian in the hands of the Carver, and Sean bleeding to death after being attacked. That’s why I appreciated the subtlety of all the main characters (and the kids who are only dragged out to let us know the writers haven’t forgotten that these people are supposed to have kids) coming together and eating Chinese food at the end.

Everything looked all right on the surface (kind of the theme of the show), but we all knew the horrors they were each masking.

So what’d you think of this episode? Were you surprised to hear almost no mention of the practice’s financial troubles? Would you have told the truth if you were Matt? Finally, were you hoping for/expecting a more outlandish finale?