NFL 2009 Week 14 Picks

It’s early December and the playoff races are heating up!

I’m talking, of course, about the playoff races in my two fantasy football leagues.

I’m currently clinging to the fourth and final playoff spot in both leagues. It’s basically a “win and I’m in” situation (though I’ll definitely need my Yahoo Plus team to put up a strong score so I can ensure a tiebreaker victory). I’m way too damn neurotic to actually watch any of the games on Sunday. I’ll probably have to head out and catch a movie or do some holiday shopping or something.

Oh, I suppose the playoff races in the ACTUAL NFL are heating up to. (At least for the AFC Wild Card.) Following a decent week of picks (9-7 week, 117-62 overall) let’s talk about those OTHER playoff races.

PITTSBURGH @ CLEVELAND
Ok, I know Pittsburgh is FREEEEE (Free Fallin’) and that they’re a completely different team without Troy Polamalu, (by “completely different,” I mean “bad.”) but I just don’t see them losing to the Browns. Cleveland is THAT bad and dysfunctional.

NEW ORLEANS @ ATLANTA
With their trap game out of the way, I expect the Saints to be focused and blow the doors off a division foe. (And hopefully, Drew Brees will lead my fantasy teams to victory.)

GREEN BAY @ CHICAGO
Chicago is a bad team that is only capable of beating worse teams. Unfortunately for them, the Packers are peaking.

N.Y. JETS @ TAMPA BAY
The Jets won’t have Mark Sanchez but it won’t matter. New York could plug Vinny Testaverde into the starting lineup this Sunday and he would carve up the Bucs. (Don’t tell Vinny this though – he’d jump at the chance to come out of retirement…again.)

MIAMI @ JACKSONVILLE
Yes, the Dolphins beat the Patriots last week, but for some reason the Jaguars are REALLY good at home. It must be because no one shows up to watch them play, so there’s no pressure.

DETROIT @ BALTIMORE
We know the drill – Baltimore will beat up another sorry/shorthanded team and we’ll convince ourselves they have a shot at the plaoffs.

SEATTLE @ HOUSTON
It’s about time for the Texans to make that late-season run at 8-8 we all know they have in them.

DENVER @ INDIANAPOLIS
Yes, Denver is looking good again, and yes the Colts might start resting people any day now, but I’m sticking with Indy until they lose.

BUFFALO @ KANSAS CITY
Ick. Can’t imagine why anyone would be interested in this contest outside of fantasy football purposes. With that in mind, I hope Jamaal Charles (pictured, right) runs for 200 yards and two TDs.

CINCINNATI @ MINNESOTA
Sure, Arizona put a beatdown on Minnesota, but I like the Vikes to bounce back at home in a big way.

CAROLINA @ NEW ENGLAND
New England can’t win on the road (their one “road” win was in England). Fortunately, they’re back at home. Even more fortunately, they’re up against Carolina.

WASHINGTON @ OAKLAND
I’m thoroughly delighted by the Bruce Gradkowski-led Raiders. Coming into the Black Hole and trying to take a win from that squad won’t be easy. (File that under “Sentences I never thought I’d write”.)

ST. LOUIS @ TENNESSEE
Honestly, I’d be surprised if Chris Johnson does NOT rush for over 200 yards. That’s how good he is (and that’s how bad the Rams D is.)

SAN DIEGO @ DALLAS
I realize it’s not Tony Romo’s fault (this time), but I’m going to go ahead and keep picking against the ‘Boys in December, thankyouverymuch.

PHILADELPHIA @ N.Y. GIANTS
We all know this race HAS to come down to the bitter end, so I’m going with the Giants for the win and to tie the Eagles in the division standings.

ARIZONA @ SAN FRANCISCO
Arizona looked fantastic against the Vikings and has been great on the road this season. That’s why I fully expect them to lay one of their patented eggs this week.