Only a crazy person would even attempt such a severe of endurance and determination.
Actually, it turns out that it wasn't that hard (that's what she said!) All I had to do was basically sit on my ass for 380 minutes worth of movies plus previews, commercials and 4 times watching that "Bee Movie" thing where the bee blows away the guy in the sound booth which, for some reason, isn't as funny the 47th time as it used to bee, I mean, be. (Bee Movie needs to come out already!) I'd never seen more than two movies in theatres before, so I was nervous (not really).
Since I was working on Saturday, I had Friday off and I decided to grab a few Nutra Grain bars (don't laugh, they were my breakfast for two months and helped me lose 30lbs! I sound like a commercial) and head on down to the movie theatre and catch some movies I'd been meaning to watch, which doesn't explain how "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" got in there.
What happened was I looked on Fandango the night before and devised a schedule to cut down on time I'd be hanging around the lobby doing nothing and seeing "Chuck and Larry" first fit the schedule perfectly.
It wasn't my first choice, but it wasn't so bad, I told myself (that's me in the picture telling myself that it wasn't so bad). I actually enjoy most of Adam Sandler's silly comedies (Wedding Singer, Waterboy and Happy Gilmore are my favorites). That being said "Chuck and Larry" was pretty terrible.
Maybe it was because there were only two other people in the theatre (who were NOT Chuck and Larry…I checked) and comedies don't play as well when there's not a full house laughing at the jokes on a big screen. What's sad is that I actually thought of that joke ("the two people in the theatre WERE NOT Chuck and Larry!") and texted it to myself so I'd remember to use it later. I need professional help.
Anyway, you know the story. Larry (Kevin James) is a straight firefighter who asks his best friend Chuck (Sandler) to enter into a domestic partnership with him so that his kids can get his benefits following his wife's death in case something happens to him on the job. Don't worry, this makes exactly as little sense as it sounds.
Ok, here's what's wrong with the movie. First off, they draw on every single homosexual stereotype in the history of the world: gays like musicals! A gag about dropping the soap in the shower (twice!) Also, so the gays don't feel left out, the movie tosses in tired Asian stereotypes and fat jokes just for good measure.
I'm not even offended by any of that stuff. This IS a comedy, after all. The problem is that the movie tries (and fails spectacularly) to become all sentimental and meaningful as Chuck and Larry learn firsthand what it's like to be discriminated against. You can't have it both ways, movie. You can't just be really stupid and ignorant and, worst of all, predictable most of the time and then all of a sudden try to become a message movie.
Actually, you COULD have it both ways. Comedies like "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" mix VERY broad and crude humor with sweetness, but the secret is that those movies take the time to develop their characters.
"Chuck and Larry" couldn't be bothered with that. Sandler and James have decent chemistry, but Sandler's character is inexplicably a ladies' man who has slept with every woman in New York (I get that chicks dig firemen, but come on!) while James' character is sweet, but kinda boring.
That's why it makes little sense that Sandler's Chuck would fall for the lawyer (Jessica Biel) the couple hire to defend them from a fraud investigator (Steve Buscemi). I mean, Jessica Biel is hot and 40 percent of her role requires her showing off her ass, but if Chuck's already banging hot chicks, why is he in love all of a sudden. Also, I wouldn't want anyone as dumb as Biel's lawyer (who can't see they're obviously straight) to defend me.
The movie's about 20 minutes too long and, while Sandler and James connect on random jokes every once in a while (usually a throwaway line, as opposed to something that was probably actually in the script) the movie was mostly lightened up by appealing actors in small roles.
In addition to Buscemi (a Sandler movie regular), I loved seeing Ving Rhames playing the tough new firefighter, SNL's Rachel Dratch (who offered to help Larry out) and Dave Matthews (yes, THAT Dave Matthews) who didn't have any dialogue, but whose presence was so unexpected that it kinda woke me up.
Not faring so well was Rob Schneider as the aforementioned Asian stereotype (Sandler is singlehandedly keeping this guy working) with an affinity for circular metaphors (actually KINDA funny). David Spade also popped up, though given what he was wearing, I wish he hadn't. There was also Lance Bass (whose presence WAS kinda expected).
Most inexplicably of all: the "homosexicals" line from the trailer didn't even make it into the film. I mean, what's even the point of this movie without that line?
The "4 Movies in 1 Day" experiment did NOT get off to a good start, let's hope things pick up with "Rush Hour 3."
"I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry"...D+
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