Sorry for not writing in a while, but I've been busy lately with work and my family. (I know, right? "Busy at work"? The horror!) Anyway, I'm back and bloggier than ever and I'm going to wrap up my NFL preview by forecasting the two divisions I think will produce the Super Bowl participants.
NFC North
1. Chicago Bears (12-4)
2. Detroit Lions (7-9)
3. Minnesota Vikings (6-10)
4. Green Bay Packers (5-11)
Chicago Bears: Naw we, you know I mean we just (stammering)… the Bears are what we thought they were. They're what we thought they were. We've seen them in preseason, who the hell takes the third game in preseason like its f---ing bull----?! We've seen them the third game, everybody played three quarters, the Bears ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE. THAT'S WHY WE TOOK THEY DAMN FIELD! NOW IF YOU WANNA CROWN 'EM, THEN CROWN THEIR ASS, BUT THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE! AND WE LET 'EM OFF THE HOOK!
I swear that's the last time I'll do that. Ok, so it probably isn't. Ah Denny Green (pictured, right), thank God I have those slightly lame Coors light commercials to keep you in my life.
Seriously though, to me, the Bears have the most talent on defense in the conference, if not the league (and apparently defense wins championships). Unfortunately, they have an offense, and a quarterback, that can help them lose a shot at the title.
I still like the Bears to roll through the division and the conference. Cedric Benson steps in the starting running back role after splitting time with the departed Thomas Jones and, though Benson does tend to whine a bit much, I expect him to have a big year. Or maybe I'm just REALLY hoping he does since he, along with Frank Gore, is in my starting fantasy football backfield for my team, the Sexy Hamburgers.
Still, all the questions surround Rex Grossman and I have the answer. It's simple, he's going to be the quarterback he was last year. He's going to look great sometimes and absolutely terrible other times. Overall the offense will be a bit better, but there will be moments when Rex kills them. The defense and a terrific special teams unit led by Devin Hester will carry them to win some games they shouldn't, and the Bears will lose in the Super Bowl.
Detroit Lions: I think the Lions will be the one team that people are talking about that could make a leap (ala the Cardinals and the Niners) who actually will. I mean, people are excited about their offense (with good reason), but in the back of their minds, they still don't really believe the Lions will do anything. They ARE the Lions after all. But I just have a feeling about them.
Not that they'll win the division or go to the playoffs or anything, but they'll be exciting to watch.
Led by offensive coordinator Mike Martz, QB Jon Kitna should put up good numbers throwing to the slightly crazy Roy Williams and rookie sensation Calvin Johnson (pictured, left). Among Williams' more off-the-wall statements was saying it was "stupid" how close the Lions were to scoring 40 points after a loss in which they scored six. He also talked of the team going on an eight game winning streak to make the playoffs, which obviously didn't happen. Still, this lunatic can play.
As can Johnson, who I'm thinking will be the offensive rookie of the year, and who better produce for the Sexy Hamburgers after I drew surprised looks for drafting him as my first receiver. At least, I'm told they were surprised looks since I couldn't make it to the draft and phoned my picks in. (I promise that's the last time I'll bring up my fantasy team in these preview columns, because I always thought it was kind of obnoxious when guys talk non-stop about their fantasy teams. I don't want to be THAT guy.)
Running back Kevin Jones starts the season injured, but the Lions picked up Tatum Bell in the offseason from Denver. He'll have a solid year, but he won't be nearly as good as he was in Denver (no running back is).
The defense, under coach Rod Marinelli, will be improved, but the Lions, as they tend to do, will fall short.
Minnesota Vikings: Their defense, particularly their run defense, was tops in the league last year, giving up a sensational 2.8 ypg average. You could move the ball on their pass defense, but they created enough turnovers to keep their team in the game.
Their running game, which was already solid, received a significant boost thanks to the addition of first round pick Adrian Peterson, who'll likely compete with Calvin Johnson of the Lions for offensive rookie of the year honors.
The only problem is that their quarterback is kind of terrible. I know he's really young, and he's only had limited playing time, but (what's a nice way of saying this?) I think Tarvaris Jackson (pictured, right) is the worst starting quarterback in the league.
He's going to be learning this year, and I'm sure he'll make a few athletic plays to get everyone excited, but in the end, he doesn't have enough playmakers to pass to, and the team doesn't have the overwhelming talent to make up for Jackson's shortcomings. I mean, at least Grossman CAN be great every once in a while, but I haven't really seen that upside from Jackson. Wow, who knew I hated Tarvaris Jackson so much. Then again, two years ago I thought J.P. Losman was the worst QB in the league.
Green Bay Packers: Imagine a big-time professional who vocally gets involved in teammates contract situations through the media, refuses to help a younger player learn the game, and selfishly holds his franchise hostage regarding his future/retirement plans, handicapping them from planning for the future and moving on or trying to win now.
Now imagine that athlete is white.
(Sorry. Can you tell I watched "A Time to Kill" recently?)
Seriously though, who else but Brett Favre could pull off all three of those stunts and remain as big a hero as he has in Green Bay and in the NFL?
He's put off his "acting" career for a while longer and is back again for another year and, though he claims it's to try to win a championship, he needs to stop smoking crack if he honestly thinks that's going to happen in Green Bay this year. Or whatever drug he's taking to make him say things like "I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumbass" in such a stilted way.
They have a promising defense led by A.J. Hawk and Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila (or KGB, one of the cooler nicknames in the NFL). However, they only have one good weapon on offense (Donald Driver) that defenses can focus in on, and no running game to speak of to help Favre out (they're going with rookie running back Brandon Jackson).
Still, Favre (pictured, left, in what will probably be pretty common body language this year) is allegedly back to win a championship. Look Favre IS an all-time great, but I just wish he would stop lying. He wants the records! This year, he's in a position to catch and pass Dan Marino for career passing yards, attempts, touchdown passes, and he has a chance to pass John Elway for most wins as a starting QB. I think it's great that Favre came back to try to break those records because he is unbelievable worthy. Just don't lie to me about it. Say what you will about Barry Bonds, but everytime he comes back, he doesn't claim it's to try to win a title. He wants to hit home runs.
Favre has been complaining about the talent around him (with good reason) and giving off this "I'm too good for this team" vibe the last few years (probably because he is) while at the same time trying to act like he's the ultimate team guy. Please, Brett, stop pretending. Wow, who knew I hated Brett Favre almost as much as I apparently hate Tarvaris Jackson?
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