Glee: Wasted Opportunities

By now it’s become pretty obvious that “Glee” will never again JUST be a show about a group of scrappy young underdogs who sing and dance because that’s when they’re at their happiest.

Creator Ryan Murphy and Co. have decided to use the show’s popularity — and the influence it wields — to tackle topics that are clearly near and dear to their hearts. The most prominent example is the gay bullying storyline that dominated the first half of this season.

The latest episode, “Blame it on the Alcohol”, addressed the issue of underage drinking. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t alone in thinking, “WHY the hell is ‘Glee’ addressing underage drinking?!” before shuddering at the thought of a potential Very Special Abortion episode down the line.

Things didn’t get off to a promising start when Principal Figgins declared that public drunkenness was an epidemic at McKinley High (um…sure, why not?) and asked Will and the glee club to come up with a song to perform at an assembly during Alcohol Awareness Week. (Groan…not every episode HAS to have a theme.)

That’s why I was positively shocked by how much I ended up liking this episode! By having the glee club kids point out how corny the idea of an “Alcohol Awareness Week” is (and how hypocritical a lot of adults are about the issue of drinking), the episode still managed to get its message across…but in a cynical, biting, interesting way. It was a tricky balance, but I think the show mostly nailed it.

But even if you didn’t care a lick for the show’s preachiness, there was still more than enough to like.

Most of all, I’m enjoying the return of season 1 Rachel, the mega-talented, insecure overachiever. While her gay dads were away on the Rosie O’Donnell cruise, she decided to throw a party at her house in hopes of gaining some life experience that would improve her songwriting. Naturally, Rachel’s party featured the host welcoming her guests in front of a giant portrait of herself (it would’ve been Idina Menzel), and wearing a homely Disney princess gown. The two-drink-ticket maximum was also a nice touch.

Eventually, Puck and Finn convinced her to let them break into her dads’ liquor cabinet, and that’s when the real fun started: including a drunken, spin-the-bottle smooch with Blaine. That kiss had some real heat behind it, which is why it wasn’t surprising that Rachel ended up asking Blaine out on a date. More surprising is that Blaine actually accepted and seemed to have a good time. Alas, the potential romance was squashed when Rachel planted a kiss on Blaine while they were both sober, and he realized that he’s gay after all. The best part was that, instead of becoming mopey/cry-y Rachel, she used the rejection by a gay man to fuel her songwriting. THERE’S the go-getter Rachel we used to love! (Or maybe that was just me.)

Naturally, Kurt wasn’t too thrilled during Blaine and Rachel’s brief fling. In fact, he was pretty much an asshole.

This isn’t the first time either. I thought he was pretty much an asshole when he manipulated his parents into dating and acted all indignant when Finn freaked out over his advances last season. Last night, he was intolerant about Blaine’s confusion over his own sexual orientation. Kurt was an ever bigger dick to his dad, who was understandably upset when he saw that Blaine had slept over with out his knowledge. (To me, it doesn’t matter if they’re a boy, girl, straight, bi, whatever…if you’re having someone sleep over, you NEED to let your parents know.)

This isn’t the worst thing in the world. You’re not going to believe this, but sometimes teenagers are COMPLETELY HORRIBLE, so Kurt’s attitude was certainly realistic. I’m just not sure if that’s what the writers were going for.

Where the writers HAVE succeeded is in making Mr. Schue considerably less pathetic. And I say this after an episode where he got wasted, drunk dialed Sue by accident and had his feelings for Emma played over the school loudspeaker. Either way, Will’s friendship with Coach Beiste was definitely a highlight of the episode, and a smart way of keeping the appealing Dot-Marie Jones in the mix now that football season is over at McKinley.

I wish I could say the same for Sue. Once again, Jane Lynch knocked all her biting one-liners out of the park, but Sue — mocking Schue about his future drinking problem and teasing him about how her glee club is going to crush his — is just becoming a nuisance...and not in a fun way. That being said, her pushing the “chipper homosexual” who used to coach Aural Intensity down the stairs (twice!) was brilliant in the same way her sustained tantrum during the Super Bowl episode was fantastic.

On the other hand, I thought the writers made Brittany EXACTLY dumb enough last night. Brittany saying “That is so racist” — after Quinn said Mr. Schue was the pot calling the kettle black — was my favorite line of the night. Brittany is dim, not retarded.

Let’s get on with the musical performances:

“My Headband”…B+: I loved that Lea Michele appeared to be singing live. I also really liked that the show conveyed the notion that writing a good original song won’t be easy. (And this one was hilariously terrible.) The brief number also served as a decent catalyst for the episode’s plot. (Rachel needed to live a little, so she can write about something other than her headband.)

“Don’t You Want Me”…A: I’ll admit this song is a guilty pleasure of mine. More importantly, we need more reasons to have the outrageously-talented Lea Michele and Darren Criss sing songs together. Also, OF COURSE Rachel has a stage in her house!

“Blame It On the Alcohol”…A-: Usually, when New Directions to do an R&B or hip-hop track, they look like giant dorks and it’s pretty embarrassing. However, I actually think they pulled this off extremely well. This was...COOL! If they’d somehow roped Ron Howard into a cameo, it would’ve been an A. (What?! It wouldn’t have been weirder than him popping up in the actual video for this song.)

“One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer”…B+: I’d never heard the song before in my life, but I thought this was another really organic performance in terms of how it fit into the rest of the episode. Also, I thought Beiste sounded pretty damn good.

“Tik-Tok”…C+: The pre-recorded vocals on this show pretty much always sound over-produced, but they were BLATANTLY phony on this number. They might as well have had Brittany/Heather Morris lip synch to the actual Ke-dollar sign-ha recording. The only reason this doesn’t get a lower grade from me is because Morris’s legs looked incredible!

So what’d you think of this episode? What “type” of drunk are you? (Needy? Angry? Stripper?) Do you have your nemesis’ phone number stored on your phone? Finally, has anyone out there ever actually seen GRAY vomit in real life? (Ewwwww!)