American Idol: Katy Perry Dissed a Girl and I Liked It

You may have noticed (actually, you probably didn’t) that I haven’t posted an “American Idol” recap in more than a week.

Part of the reason is because I’ve fallen a bit behind on my TV-watching. Another reason is that two out of the last three audition episodes have been borderline unwatchable. Hollywood Week can’t get here soon enough.

Before I get to the most recent L.A. audition episode (one of the two “borderline unwatchable” eps), allow me to give you my stream of consciousness thoughts on the Chicago and Orlando auditions.

First Chicago: thank GOD the audition episodes started being only an hour right about now! The term “boob boxing” is funny, but not as clever as Kara thought it was. The “Tiny Tim” guy was a good impersonator – but a bad singer. Chicago generally seemed to have a higher-than-usual ratio of freaks overall (or maybe it was a lower ratio of viable talent). My favorites were Charity Vance and John Park’s lower register (or “bottom end” as Shania Twain might say) — seriously, that guy could go FAR if he doesn’t crap the bed in Hollywood Week. I’m not really sure why they thought a girl whose parents were going through a divorce was worthy of a pre-performance package, but we got one anyway. Finally, Shania Twain was pretty excellent as a guest judge. Is there any reason she can’t replace Randy or Kara?

Now Orlando: This was actually one of the best audition episodes in a while – or maybe it seemed that way because the show made the controversial decision to show more successful auditions than failures. I loved Jermain Purifoy’s “Smile” audition — though not as much as guest judge Kristin Chenoweth, who looked like she was ready to pounce. I was enjoying Chenoweth – too bad she could only hang out for one day. The two sisters weren’t as annoying as they could’ve been, but just once I’d like to hear one person say “I’m better” when two people audition at the same time. So apparently, it’s ok for a contestant to have a criminal past (like talented “Trouble” singer Matt Lawrence’s bank robbing exploits) as long as you tell the producers beforehand. M-kay. Did Randy Jackson REALLY not recall Blake Lewis’ name? (I know Randy’s useless, but come on!) How did Jarrod Norrell go from being escorted away to on lying on his face in handcuffs? (And why was Kara so randomly mean to him?) The best part of Shelby Dressel’s audition was when she accidentally said “s---” when she forgot her lyrics. Finally, they let through the guy who ripped his pants?! REALLY?!

Ok, enough reflecting on the past – let’s now talk about the most recent past.

If you hadn’t guessed by now, the L.A. audition episode was the second atrocious audition episode. We only saw five successful auditions, but at least two of them were thoroughly delightful.

By that I mean that I believe Tasha Layton and Andrew Garcia have the talent AND charisma to make it to the semifinals and, potentially, the top 12. Tasha delivered a strong take of Joss Stone’s “Baby, baby, baby”, but, more importantly seemed comfortable and brought a sense of joy to the audition room. Meanwhile, Andrew Garcia didn’t need the backstory about his parents being in gangs to endear us to him – his smooth, soulful version of Sunday morning was more than enough.

The other three successful singers shown on TV were all somewhat overshadowed by a variety of reasons. Mary Powers (the rock look WAS a bit clichéd) sounded good singing “Love is a Battlefield”, but her Simon-loving daughter stole the show. Jim Ranger’s performance of an original song “Drive” was decent, but all I remember is guest judge Avril Lavigne (wearing a poser-ish “Where the Wild Things Are”-type horned hoodie) grilling the guy about how he was going to balance his church and family life while being a pop star. (If she didn’t like his singing, that’s one thing, but saying “no” because being a musician requires a lot of travel is stupid.)

Then there’s Chris Golightly – I’m told he sang “Stand by Me”, but that’s about the fifth thing I remember about him. I remember the foster kid backstory. I remember the Sideshow Bob haircut. Most importantly, I remember Katy Perry laying a verbal smackdown on Kara DioGuardi.

It’s kind of a shame because when Kara was talking about the pain he’d gone through in his life, I believe she was (clumsily) trying to make a point about how he can imbue his performances with his life experiences. Of course, Kara mostly butchered that point and prompted Katy Perry to say “This is not a Lifetime movie, sweetheart.” (Well, sometimes it is.)

Can I get a big “HELL YES!” Of course, having “Idol” producers pre-program us with sob stories to let us know who to root for (Danny Gokey) anyone is nothing new. However, seeing a person on my screen actually call the show out for that was kinda shocking (in an excellent way). Sure, Katy’s point would have a little more credibility behind it if she didn’t sound absolutely horrible every time I’ve heard her sing live, but that doesn’t mean she’s not 100 percent right. She made Kara look downright silly Tuesday night.

On top of that, the “Lifetime” blast was only my second favorite Katy quote. The winner would be Katy telling Kara that she should never put someone through just because you feel bad for them. “A” and “MEN”! And here I thought Katy would have nothing to add beyond to the panel beyond some boobaliciousness. (Which, to her credit, she also brought.)

So what’d you think of this episode? Why in the world didn’t they show Sanjaya’s crying girl auditioning? (Seriously – out of all the pre-taped packages, they couldn’t give us THAT?!) Do you think I could pull off the Adam Lambert look? (If you were scoring at home, that was “Project Runway” contestant Daniel Franco auditioning. Also, A.J. Mendoza’s “Cult of Personality” was basically everything bad about Adam’s singing.) Finally, are you on Team Katy or Team Kara?