That was a LOT of “Jersey Shore” to digest!I actually wasn’t aware that we’d be getting two hours worth of Seaside Heights shenanigans Thursday night until the second episode started at 11 p.m. in place of “Jersey Shore: After Hours.”
I’m not complaining, (two episodes of “Jersey Shore” are better than one) but I thought it was interesting that this super-sized episode featured the cast during, arguably, their darkest hours.
The main attraction coming into this episode appeared to be the cast’s trip to Atlantic City (a trip that turned out to be mostly a bust, except for Snooki building a bubble bath fort while her roommates napped), but first we had a bit of residual Ronnie/Sammi drama to settle.
Sammi finally seemed to realize that the “shove” Ronnie gave her during the boardwalk showdown with that belligerent old couple (they were “like 30”!) was nothing and the two presented a united front as they confronted their housemates. Snooki had told Rommi that “everybody in the house” was annoyed by the way Ronnie and Sammi isolated each other.
Since this confrontation took about 15 minutes and was incredibly tedious, I’ll skip over the details. The highlights (other than a sleepy cameo from J-Woww) included Snooki telling the camera that Sammi could be a real bitch sometimes, without even realizing it. (So true!) I just don’t get what was so difficult to understand – Snooki simply wanted EVERYONE in the house to spend time together because their time at the shore was winding down. Rommi (mostly Sammi) took this as a personal attack on their relationship for some reason.
Whatever. All I know is that Snooki was Thursday night’s MVP (an award that usually goes to The Situation and Pauly D). Although, she was cruelly insulted by The Situation (more on that in a bit), embarrassed at Karma (without realizing it, she made out with a guy who had a girlfriend), and insulted in the street (some haters were yelling about her corset looking like a Halloween costume), I actually think it was a good week for Snooki.
I can’t decide if my favorite line of hers was “I’m not trashy – unless I drink too much” or “I f---ing like save animals – that’s what I do!” On top of that, she found love(?) in the form of Keith, an Irish farm worker/cowboy who was determined to not give the camera a good look at his face. More importantly, no one hit her in the face this time.
At least not literally. I suppose you could argue Mike’s fat joke (“You already have a couple of rolls”) was more painful than the punch in the face, but I’m still thinking the punch in the face hurt more.
If there was an overriding theme to last night’s two episodes, it seemed to be everyone in the house (except for loyal grenade-taker Pauly D) slowly realizing that The Situation is kind of a horrible human being. (Except for his cooking.)
In just a space of two hours, The Situation alienated Snooki with the fat joke (they were going back and forth, and it just went too far), Vinny (who The Situation appears to view as an upstart challenger to his imaginary position as king), Ronnie and Sammi (will this season end with The Situation admitting that losing Sammi hurt him a LOT more than he lets on?) and J-Woww.
J-Woww (who I was surprised to learn is still apparently in a relationship with her downer of a boyfriend Tom) had gotten a bit too drunk at an Atlantic City club and asked The Situation to take her home. Unfortunately, J-Woww didn’t know that when The Situation is trying to hook up with someone, it wouldn’t matter if someone was lying in a ditch dying – it’s a “Do Not Bother Me” zone. Not only that, but The Situation had J-Woww kicked out of the club, which lead to her punching him in the face when he returned to the hotel room, which lead to the appearance of MTV’s security guys. (It’s always a nice little jolt to see them spring out from nowhere.)
Eventually, Mike (somewhat) made up with Snooki and J-Woww, but I found his intervention with Ronnie and Vinny interesting. Ronnie was telling Mike that he shouldn’t treat his friends like this, and The Situation responded that none of the people in the house were his friends, which appears to go against the “we are family” guido mantra someone like Snooki seems to live by. Not to go all “Frasier” on you, but I just feel like The Situation is an intensely insecure person who is terrified of making any sort of personal connections. This is obviously true of his relationships with women, but it also appears to be the case with other guys.
At least he has Pauly D to pal around with and to assist him in pulling off pranks. I LOVED that Snooki was mostly annoyed that the two wasted a couple of perfectly good pickles. I also took note of Mike’s recipe for the "haterade" he and Pauly slipped under Vinny’s bed.
Pauly D was probably happy to have something to do so that he could avoid talking to his stalker. I said earlier that Snooki was the episode’s MVP, but Pauly D came on strong at the end.
He’d met Danielle, an Israeli girl who appears to really want a serious relationship, in Seaside Heights. Later, Pauly was serving as wingman for Vinny when Danielle started popping up at random intervals of their evening together. (My favorite was her apparating when they were at the tattoo station.) Eventually, Vinny delivered a sensational monologue over the phone (Sammi’s “You go Pauly” was great!) and the two appeared to shake hands and break up – before they left together arm in arm. More of this (crazy!) relationship please.
Of course, the episode ended on a darker note with Ronnie being arrested for aggravated assault after absolutely laying out a guy who was harassing the group. This column doesn’t (usually) condone violence, but am I the only one who felt bad for Ronnie when the police took him away and he insisted (in a curiously small voice) that it was self-defense.
So what’d you think of this episode? Is it just me or did Vinny become (a little) interesting in a hurry? (His Mike impersonation – and his mistake- were priceless.) Could THIS be the end of Rommi? Finally, will Snooki and Cowboy Keith ride off into the sunset together?
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