America's Next Top Recap: Quick thoughts before the season finale

I didn’t get around to watching last week’s episode of “America’s Next Top Model” until Tuesday night.

In case anyone cares — unlikely, given how simultaneously off-putting, depressing and boring this season has been — I wanted to sneak my thoughts on the Hobbit-friendly hour before Wednesday night’s two-hour season finale.

- Krista deserves to win.

She’s dominated the weekly challenges and she’s been even better at the photo shoots. The only thing I could see tripping her up before the finals is her Cover Girl commercial and print campaign, since she’s not as conventionally beautiful as the other girls. (Then again, this episode hammered home the point that “commercial” is a dirty word on this show so that shouldn’t be an issue, right.)

Like my feelings toward much of this season, the fact that Krista is the CLEAR frontrunner doesn’t really matter to me. I like that she seems intelligent and (relatively) reasonable, but she’s not exactly a super charismatic, entertaining or plain weird (like last cycle’s winner Nicole) personality that makes people want to root for her.

In fact, my favorite thing about Krista is that her dominance is REALLY pissing Angelea off.

- For someone who claims to be so tough (surviving the mean streets of East Buffalo) and smart, Angelea has a very limited vocabulary. The day when she’s eliminated and I don’t have to listen to her refer to her competitor as “bitches” again will be a happy day indeed.

Also, a major “Boo!” for being able to dish out the verbal abuse to everyone in her path, but not being able to take Krista and Alexandra’s impersonation of her bizarre “club walk.”

- I’m getting this uncomfortable Jaslene vibe from Angelea. You know — the grating, vaguely-mannish contestant who somehow ends up actually winning? Ugh.

- Sorry, Jaslene…that was harsh.

- I realize this show is on the CW (and therefore doesn’t have the largest budget/amount of prestige in the world), but when they were looking for someone connected to “Lord of the Rings”, couldn’t they do better than Sarah McLeod? I’m a pop-culture nerd, so I know who actors and actresses are — I had NO idea who this person was! They couldn’t get the guy who played Pippin or something? Yikes!

- If Raina saying “Oh Mylanta” is so annoying, how come we’re only just hearing about it now? This combined with her relatively weak showing at panel makes me think the former front-runner is being set up for a fall.

- It’s probably bad that I didn’t think Jessica was THAT stupid for trying to toast those tacos by putting them over a toaster. (It’s certainly not stupider than her thinking New Zealand was above Canada.)

- Maybe it was just me making dinner at the same time this episode was on, but I think Tyra and the producers need to step up their imagination when coming up with these photo shoot concepts. I honestly don’t remember a single shot or moment from the cramped Hobbit shoot (other than Alexandra busting out a pinup pose). I have slightly better recollection of Tyra’s Shadow shoot, but the most compelling issue from this sequence came when Raina was asked to pose in her underwear while everyone else was fully dressed. (Huh?! Why?!)

- Jessica may have been sent home, but the 18-year-old can take comfort in the fact that she and her uber-commercial face will probably make more money as a model than eventual winner Krista.

- Seriously though, could this season have been any suckier? It’s so uninteresting that I’m pretty sure my girlfriend Erica Facebooked her way through the elimination even though it was occurring on our TV five feet away from her.

The bottom line — no one cares about any of these people. The only way things could get worse is if Angelea manages to win. (Shudder!)

So what’d you think of this episode, bitches? Who do you see in the finals? (I’m thinking it’ll be Krista and Alexandra?) Who do you want to win, and who do you think will win? (I kind of want Raina to win, but it’s going to be Krista.)