America's Next Top Recap: The Italian Job

It turned out to be a pretty entertaining cycle of “America’s Next Top Model” — especially when you consider last night’s result was pretty much a foregone conclusion since the first few weeks of the season.

As with most season finales, not that much happened in the beginning other than the two finalists — Ann and Chelsey — spouting off variations of “I can’t believe I’ve made it this far” and “I deserve to win because I want it more.” (Ok, so maybe that second one was mostly Chelsey, who was edited to look more desperate than ever.)

Even with only two girls left, there was a lot to do. They were whisked off to their Vogue Italia shoot, where the photographer raved over both of them and the bugs in the field served as the paparazzi.

From there, Ann and Chelsey continued to their Cover Girl commercial shoot. Instead of having to learn to say “lash blast” in Italian on camera, the girls would film their scenes together and record their voice-over later. This is how you know Tyra was REALLY determined to have this cycle’s winner be taken seriously — she didn’t want to saddle them with a script they were destined to flub. (Plus, the contestants this year already embarrassed themselves during the roller skating fiasco.)

Mr. Jay praised both of their performances, which made it especially weird when we saw the commercial and it was HORRIBLE. To be fair, it wasn’t so much Ann and Chelsey’s performance (although they DID enjoy the hell out of that ice cream more than they played up their makeup). The main problem was the embarrassing production values. I understand not everything can be as high-brown as “Modelli Folli”, but still…)

From there the girls shot their Cover Girl print ad (more on that a bit later) and met with an IMG Models big wig, in which he declared that Chelsey had more personality than Ann, and I declared “duh” and rolled my eyes.

Whoops! I forgot to mention the part where Ann and Chelsey’s families stopped by, and they were both absolutely adorable. The fact that Ann could quite possibly be the shortest person in her family amused me to no end. Meanwhile, Chelsey’s mom was adorable, and I liked her debating whether she should’ve told Tyra that her son has a huge crush on her.

Time for the runway show!

Coming into this episode, I thought Chelsey’s best chance to win would be to absolutely blow Ann away during the Roberto Cavalli runway show. Even more so than the “personality” thing, Chelsey’s biggest advantage over Ann was her walk (probably the best this season), especially when you consider Ann probably had the worst.

Well that didn’t happen. Nerves seemed to get the best Chelsey because her walk was stiff, awkward and the worst we’ve seen this season from her. Meanwhile, Ann’s walk was stiff and awkward, but actually managed to be an improvement over what we’ve seen from her. (Fortunately, she didn’t stumble until after the show when she was backstage.) In the end, the fashion show was pretty much a wash. (Ok, Chelsey gets the win because she didn’t have a psychotic look on her face like Ann did).

Time for the judges’ panel! Tyra, Nigel and ALT (in a particularly hideous barbershop cloak) were joined by Mr. Jay (taking a break from directing awful commercials) and Roberto Cavalli, who seems like he would’ve been smoking at the judges’ table if he’d been allowed.

All kidding aside, Cavalli and his broken English is welcome to stop by the panel at least once a month as far as I’m concerned. My favorite moment was during his critique of Ann’s Cover Girl print ad in which he pointed out that, “You look terrified…I like this photo!” (I mostly enjoyed the implication that he has a fetish for scared women.)

Both Cover Girl print ads were stunning. I suppose Chelsey’s ad kinda/sorta didn’t necessarily look like her, and her makeup wasn’t apparent. (Personally, I don’t think that’s a problem — you don’t want it to be caked on, do you?) Ann, on the other hand, had a haunting picture that was also fascinating because it was unlike any other Cover Girl ad I’ve ever seen.

And that pretty much sums up the appeal of Ann and explains why she won. (Cavalli broke it down thusly: Chelsey was great for American fashion, while Ann was ideal for Italian fashion.) She was pretty much unlike every other girl in the competition, and that makes her instantly standout. She’s going to get great shots and great gigs without even meaning to. Chelsey was constantly praised for her work ethic and her knowledge of the industry, and she’ll certainly get work as a model. It’s just that no one ever got super excited over working with Chelsey.

In the end, it was always going to be Ann, but I’ll give the show credit for working its ass off to drum up, at least, a shred of drama right before the moment Ann’s face popped up on that screen. Her glee and joy at winning was absolutely delightful. (Chelsey declaring that she felt cheated was mostly a bummer, but a little petty.)

So what’d you think of this episode? We know who Jane (Ann) and Kayla (Chelsey) were rooting for, but which team were Chris and Liz on? How funny was it when Ann left Chelsey hanging with her high-five during panel? (Who says Ann doesn’t have personality?) Finally, is this the best top 2 since Danielle and Joanie?

Thanks for watching this cycle along with me. See you in 2011.