America's Next Top Recap: My Humps

Last night’s episode followed the contestants as they embarked on what amounted to be a free vacation in Morocco.

In a related story, have we ever seen anybody complain as much during a free vacation as Molly did last night?

Since this show hadn’t been on for two weeks, it was difficult to remember exactly why Molly was complaining so much. (I’m guessing her bottom 2 placement in the previous episode had something to do with it.) Then again, I didn’t really care WHY she was so upset: it was incredibly annoying, regardless of the reason.

Molly’s main complaint was about (shocker!) Alexandria and how Alexandria’s fake-nice attitude had served her well in the competition. Molly then speculated that her own stank attitude might be a result of abandonment issues (we learned earlier this season that she was adopted) before bemoaning the fact that she was going to have to pretend to be nice to people.

What I don’t understand is why Molly has to “pretend” to be nice to people? Why can’t she just, oh I don’t know, BE a pleasant person?! Why is that such a chore? Also, why is it a shock that you might want to not act like a moody, raging bitch around your bosses? Molly probably has the prettiest face out of all the girls in the competition…but her perpetually-awful attitude made her look like an ugly person.

As the girls arrived in Marrakech (I’m shocked Molly didn’t complain about the heat), they were greeted by snake charmers as well as Mr. Jay and Ms. J, both wearing only slightly more makeup than usual. After that, they were treated to a traditional Moroccan lunch before meeting up with Andre Leon Talley and designer Noureddine Amir.

Usually, this would be about the time we’d be getting the week’s challenge. And, indeed, the girls put on Amir’s clothes and showed their runway walks to the designer and Talley. However, instead of competing for some fabulous, exotic prize, the main purpose of this sequence was to humiliate Kasia.

While Brittani easily sported a fantastic-looking dress/wicker hamper, Kasia was having trouble fitting into any of her clothes. They finally found a garment for her to wear, but it was too late because her confidence was shattered. Given the fact that I’ve never really been impressed with her during a photo shoot, I knew she’d be exiting at the end of the episode.

After a bit of drama in their fantastic new house (whine! Molly doesn’t want to share a bed) the girls learned that they’d be taking photographs atop camels in the middle of the desert. At least Tyra didn’t go for the obvious photo shoot idea.

Molly put on her best fake happy face and…completely rocked the photo shoot. She deserved the top photo honors that she received. Great job by Molly, It’s remarkable what she could accomplish when she’s not being a sourpuss.

Brittani had the next best pic (though Vogue Italia editor-in-chief Franca Sozzani seemed to hate it). Meanwhile, Hannah mostly benefited from a unique angle and from the fact that no one can remember who she is, so it’s impossible to eliminate her.

That left Kasia in the bottom 2 along with Alexandria, who once again tried to take command of a photo shoot. She claimed that she’d already annoyed the British photographer by making a baseball reference (she was going to knock the shoot out of the park), but I’m pretty sure the photographer was annoyed with her because she’s annoying…and not because she couldn’t drop a cricket or polo reference.

Though Alexandria’s shot standing atop a camel was almost alarmingly stiff, Kasia (pictured, right) was clearly going to be going home. Her picture was great only because it perfectly captured the discomfort Kasia was feeling throughout the entire episode.

And so we say goodbye to the cycle’s fiercely real contestant.

So what’d you think of this episode? Can you tell me a single thing about Hannah besides “she’s blonde” or “she exists” (I think)? Finally, what euphemism for “plus size” will Tyra come up with next cycle? (I’m thinking “voraciously genuine.”)