It’s been an eventful week in the world of reality show meltdowns. (Well, more eventful than usual.)After learning that Meat Loaf is “the LAST F---ING PERSON YOU EVVVEER WANNA F---ING F--- WITH”, it was Brittani’s turn to totally lose her s---. (Cursing is contagious!)
Things started out so promisingly for Brittani, as she was still basking in the glow of last week’s win at the start of the episode. The girls returned to the house to find gift bags (YAY!!!) that contained Warriors in Pink T-shirts and the material for their next challenge (yay).
For the week’s challenge, the girls would be doing a photo shoot with Nigel in which they’d have to embody a different aspect of the Warriors in Pink campaign against breast cancer. Some of the campaign’s symbols included “river”, “tree”, “war paint” and “dove”. Also, I completely made one of those up…good luck trying to figure out which one.
During the shoot, Brittani got chewed out when Nigel sensed a disconnect and asked her what she thinks about when she models, and she responded, “I don’t think, I just do.” As a former model, Nigel flipped out at the idea that someone would trivialize their Very Important Job. Me? I don’t care if Brittani is thinking about what groceries she has to pick up on the way home as long as she delivers an excellent picture. I thought Jaclyn might get the win for wanting to “beat the crap out of cancer” with her boxing gloves, but the victory went to Alexandria. I’m not saying that Alexandria wasn’t a deserving winner…I’m just saying that I wouldn’t be shocked that the producers gave Alexandria the win to piss everyone else off.
And pissed off they were. It was bad enough that Alexandria would get to appear in a national ad as a role model. (I watched her commercial, and Brittani’s right…she does do a weird thing with her face.) She also won (putting on my Bob Barker mask) A NEW CAR!
Later, all of the other girls were talking about how Alexandria was an undeserving winner, but it was Brittani who was loudly leading the charge. Alexandria overheard her and confronted her, and Brittani bit back by telling her that everyone in the house couldn’t stand her. (Cut to everyone else staying eerily silent.) I actually feel a little bad for Alexandria. (I said “a little.”) It’d be one thing if she were trying to drive Brittani and the other girls crazy with her bitchiness as a calculated move. However, I honestly think that Alexandria has no idea how horribly annoying she is to everyone else around her.
As you know, this outburst came back to bite Brittani in a big way, but first it was time for the week’s photo shoot.
On a tour through Universal Studios, the girls stopped at the Bates Motel where Ms. J was brutally murdered by Mrs. Bates. (RIP, Ms. J.) Also, ***SPOILER ALERT*** Mrs. Bates was actually…Mr. Jay, who announced the week’s challenge: the girls would be going crazy for…something.
Since Jaclyn’s Why So Serious? “Crazy for Makeup” photo (pictured, right) was the best in the bunch and a really deserving winner, and since Mikaela’s “Slightly Perturbed for Sales” was CLEARLY the worst picture of the bunch and got her sent home, I’m going to skip over all that and go straight to the judges’ panel.
During Alexandria’s critique, Nigel brought up Brittani’s outburst and reamed her out for being unprofessional in front of a client. Even though I didn’t see any “client” anywhere (was he talking about the car?) I agree with him 100%. Brittani yelling at Alexandria like that in a professional setting is completely unacceptable. That’s what the Model Home and confessionals are for.
Sensing that she’d made a huge mistake, Brittani started freaking out…especially after Tyra laid into her. She excused herself and walked off set because it looked like she was having a panic attack. She came back just in time to listen to the judges crush her subpar photo.
During the deliberation, the judges had a serious discussion about sending Brittani home. Nigel, Andre Leon Talley and dandy “Gossip Girl” stylist Eric Daman all voted to give Brittani another chance. Tyra, on the other hand, did what Tyra does…she made it about herself.
With absolutely zero prompting, she brought up the notion that people assume that she unilaterally makes all the decisions on this show. Except that’s not the case: she only gets one vote, and it’s very possible that she won’t get her way if the other judges disagree. (Cut to Tyra patting herself on the back over resisting Toccara’s elimination during cycle 3.) (Cut to me rolling my eyes.)
Tyra insisted that “Top Model” was not a monarchy and expressed extreme displeasure at the fact that Brittani was being allowed to stay on. Why did we even have a bottom 2, if we saw that the judges decided to keep Brittani? So that we could see Ty-rant scold Brittani some more, of course!
While it may be true that Tyra only gets one vote, it’s absolutely ridiculous to think that she doesn’t have more influence than any other judge. I mean, how about the fact that she’s the one who selects which photo gets used at panel. From now on, Brittani better make sure that she doesn’t take a single unflattering photo or Tyra might pick it. Hell, the conspiracy theorist in me thought it was weird that Tyra picked that weird, boring photo of Brittani after we saw her jumping around during the shoot and getting great feedback from Mr. Jay.
So what’d you think of this episode? Do you feel badfor Brittani? For Alexandria? Finally, is Jaclyn actually the frontrunner to win this thing?
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