Project Runway: And the Winner Is...

I don’t think anyone’s even pretending this has been the strongest season of “Project Runway” in the show’s run.

Still, the fact that I was mostly disappointed in the finale’s Bryant Park runway show tells me that, even after 13 episodes of mostly uninspired fashion, a part of me was STILL holding out for something spectacular to close out season 6.

The fact that the show’s resident villainess won didn’t even register for me. The main reason I was disappointed was because none of the three finalists delivered a collection (or even a single moment) that made me or my girlfriend Erica really say “wow.” I’m not even saying it had to be “wow” in a good way. I would’ve settled for “wow” in a crazy/disgusted/confused way. Unfortunately, the most striking fashion moment of the evening may have been how freaky deaky Ari Fish (the quirky girl who got kicked out first) looked with her mile-long eyelashes.

Irina, Carol-Hannah, and Althea did a solid job, but (call me naïve) I was hoping for a knockout.

Before the show, a good chunk of the episode was devoted to Carol-Hannah’s stomach flu, which flared up again big time. It was at this point that I realized how lucky Carol-Hannah was that the show decided to bring back those three booted designers to lend a helping hand because (if you believe the show’s editing) there’s no way she could’ve finished all her work by herself. (There was also a moment I thought Logan was going to ask Carol-Hannah out while he was comforting her.)

Anyway, after another hint of manufactured plagiarism (to the best of my knowledge you did NOT invent smeared makeup and smoky eye, Irina), it was on to the show.

Now, despite writing about this show for four seasons now (yikes, really?), I’ll be the first to admit that I really have no idea what I’m talking about when it comes to fashion.

I told you that to tell you this: I just don’t care for Althea’s style. I’m sure there’s something I’m missing out, but I’m not into the whole L.A. hipster, baggy trousers on parade scene. To me it looks sloppy. Still, I realize that’s a personal preference. What’s most damning to me is that I still, for the life of me, do NOT see any hint of the “sci-fi from the 1950’s” theme Althea was talking about. (The headbands maybe.)

That being said, Althea’s theme was still more apparent than Carol-Hannah’s (something about Duke University and fairies, right?) The reason I didn’t mind as much is because, in my opinion, Carol-Hannah produced the greatest amount of stunning pieces. More than a few of her dresses were simply spectacular – I just wished they would’ve flowed together better. Or at all.

Irina wrapped up the show with her line about surviving in New York City, which apparently consists of wearing black dominatrix gear and wearing tiny, black hats with details that made them unique. (To be honest, it looked more sci-fi than Althea's.) Irina’s collection CLEARLY had the strongest theme and was the most cohesive.

Still, when Nina Garcia once again chided her for not using color (“We talked about that”) and gave her a withering look, I thought she was done.

In fact, I would’ve bet money that Carol-Hannah was going to win – that shows what I know, since she finished third. At first, I was incredulous, but after further consideration you really DO have to deduct major points from C-H for not coming up with a strong enough theme/point of view for a collection.

That being said, I STILL think Carol-Hannah should’ve finished no lower than second. The judges praised Althea for being plugged into what’s hip and current, so I guess I just don’t care for the way hip people currently dress.

This left Irina, who at least attempted to do something (sorta) outlandish as the deserving winner. She was clearly this season’s “villain”, but I never really hated her. In a season devoid of a breakout personality, I thought she made the show more interesting by saying the (mean) things we were all thinking. Also, she backed up all her smack talk.

Most importantly, her victory made her dad cry, which was fantastic because the guy looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but on Lifetime TV last week during Tim Gunn’s visit.

So what’d you think of this episode? Anyone else notice “Top Model” winner Jaslene? Did guest judge Suzy Menkes remind anyone else of a combination between Susan Boyle and Mrs. Doubtfire? (At first I was kinda bummed that there wasn’t a celeb judge, but then I realized we’ve had celeb judges all season.) Finally, did the right person win?

Thanks for reading along all these months. I’ll meet you guys back here in January when season 7 kicks off, ok?

Heroes: Invasion of the Body Snatchers

You’re not going to believe this, but the driving force this season behind Samuel Sullivan’s quest to gather as many of our beloved(?) Heroes as possible was – a stupid decision by Mohinder Suresh!

(Quick disclaimer: the following critique is directed at the way the character of Mohinder has been written, NOT Sendhil Ramamurthy. Sure, Ramamurthy is no Marlon Brando, but no actor – whether it’s Brando, Johnny Depp or Laurence Olivier - could make chicken salad out of the chicken shit material this actor has always been handed.)

This week, we got our annual “Why is this season’s bad guy doing what he’s been doing?” episode (previous installments have showcased Gabriel Gray, Adam Monroe and Arthur Petrelli). We knew Samuel Sullivan had killed Mohinder (yay!), but we needed to find out why.

One of the things this episode did really well was bring our core characters together in a meaningful way for the first time this season.

After some truly painful dialogue (“do you ever think about running away and joining a carnival?”) Tracy’s power started freaking out on her (for no apparent reason) and she went to find Noah for help. Instead, she ran into Claire who tried to calm her down and warm her up with some tea and a hot bath (Ali Larter in her underwear in T-minus 3…2…) Tracy ended up freezing Claire solid by accident and comically snapped her foot off while trying to help her. The only thing funnier was Noah’s “this is only a little weird” reaction upon seeing his daughter’s frozen, amputated foot on his coffee table when he came home. (It DOES make for an eye-catching centerpiece.) Even a little Jack Coleman is excellent.

As bad as some of the actual writing was, I liked the IDEA of Claire and Tracy putting aside their repetitive (and doomed) quests for a normal life and dish a little about their abilities. In the end, Tracy met up with Samuel and seemed to be on the verge of joining the carnival. With Gretchen seemingly out of the picture for good, can Claire be far behind?

Still, the team-up I enjoyed the most was the Petrelli Bros. reunion.

Over the last couple of years, Nathan and Peter’s relationship has been understandably strained, so it was great to see the Petrelli boys come together to help each other out as soon as they figured out their mom was up to her usual shenanigans. This was tempered only slightly by the fact that Nathan isn’t really Nathan at all, but that’s beside the point.

The Haitian tried to reveal the whole Nylar plot to Peter on the down low, but Peter brought Nathan along anyway (aww) to the creepy storage facility where they discovered – real Nathan’s body! Putting aside the fact that real Nathan’s body should have absolutely been burned or buried, this scene was very well played by both actors, especially Adrian Pasdar. (I’m not buying the whole “Angela kept Nathan’s body because she’s sentimental/emotional” explanation – the reason she kept the body in a storage facility that is easily accessible is because it was a hell of a lot more convenient for the writers to have Peter and Nylar stumble upon it. It’s stuff like this that keeps holding “Heroes” back.)

Anyway, the brothers went to find Matt Parkman after Nylar got a flash of a memory of him. Parkman was in critical condition in a hospital, but the Petrellis slipped by the INCREDIBLY distracted armed guard and into his room. After Peter healed him, Matt woke up and tried to get them to run away before Sylar jumped into his body. (If all Sylar had to do to take over Matt’s body was touch him, why did it take him so long to do it initially? Whatever!) With Sylar now in Matt’s body, he implored Nathan/Sylar to touch him so he could get his old body back. (Oy, my head hurts!) The two only grazed each other before both brothers had to flee the hospital.

Nylar (or was it Sylar? Or was it Nathan) tried to get Peter away from him, but Peter touched him and took his flying ability so he could keep up. I also wonder if Sylar didn’t take the opportunity to jump from Nylar’s body to Peter. That would explain why Nathan appeared to be in control of his own body by the end of the episode, despite clearly making contact with Mylar (Matt + Sylar)

I realize I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer. However, “Heroes” so often changes the rules of its own universe that things become as muddled as my last two paragraphs. (I mean, I SAW the episode, and they don’t make sense to me!) Characters in this show don’t do things because they make sense – they do them to manufacture conflict and to keep the story chugging along.

Which brings us to Mohinder.

Apparently he had a nice life (and a pretty wife) teaching in India. Still, his father’s findings from Coyote Sands decades earlier were nagging at him and (being Mohinder) he threw everything away. He was able to construct a compass that led him from India to the Sullivan Bros. carnival where we finally met Samuel’s brother Joseph.

We got a little back story when we learned that Joseph had dedicated his life to keeping Samuel’s power in check. Mohinder warned him about Samuel’s potential to become scarily powerful, but Joseph asked him to leave. Samuel, who had overheard Mohinder, followed him and killed him after Mohinder refused to elaborate.

Except that Hiro had successfully traveled back in time to stop Mohinder’s death (boo!). Oh well, at least the time-stopping effect is ALWAYS cool. I get that Mohinder wanted to stop Samuel immediately, but if Hiro wanted to stop him from going after Samuel in the past, why didn’t he just bring him back to the present? Why did he have to lock him up in a mental institution for eight weeks (not that I’m complaining, mind you)?

Hiro was able to salvage the film detailing Chandra Suresh’s work and Samuel’s birth, but it remains to be seen if Samuel will give Hiro back the love of his life Charlie. Overall, I was a little underwhelmed by Samuel’s motives. His confrontation with Mohinder was WAY too brief and I’m not exactly sure what he thinks he’s going to learn from the film that he doesn’t already know. Maybe, we’ll eventually see what turns him from such an angry, out-of-control guy into the smooth operator with the inconsistent accent.

So what’d you think of this episode? Am I being too critical of the show? (I don’t mean to be, it’s just that these inconsistencies take me right out of the show?) Is Sylar in Peter or Nathan’s body? Why did Hiro pick a mental asylum in Florida? Finally, have we seen the last of Mohinder? (Alas, I think he’s got an episode or two more left in him)

America's Next Top Recap: Braving the Elements

They had me going there for a second.

Literally, for a second or two when Tyra paused right before she revealed WHO(!) was America’s Next (First) Top (Petite) Model, I actually stopped fidgeting with my dinner and looked up at the TV to see the announcement, even though it was pretty obvious who should/was going to/deserved to win.

Since there were two finalists instead of three, this finale was slower-paced than usual (no mid-episode elimination before the runway show). Still, since Nicole and Laura were far and away my two favorite contestants in this cycle (and in the last couple of cycles, actually), I didn’t mind too much.

Ok, I DID mind a little.

Without the likes of Erin, Jennifer or Sundai to mildly annoy me, it became more apparent then ever that Nicole and Laura’s speaking voices can be pretty irritating in their own ways. The only reason I noticed this is because the first 15 minutes of the episode was dedicated to the usual “we can’t believe we’re in the final two.” At least, it was an interesting contrast: Nicole’s slow, deliberate monotone vs. Laura’s bubbly, enthusiastic grammatical errors.

The first challenge was to shoot a Cover Girl commercial about two friends hiking in the Hawaiian woods with mascara that had a surprisingly low amount of lesbian overtones. (They were undertones, really.) While one girl was filming the commercial with Mr. Jay, the other was taking her beauty shot with Nigel.

Each of the girls absolutely rocked their beauty shots, though I have to give Nicole the edge for still looking fantastic despite having her signature curly hair straightened out. The commercial went considerably less smoothly with Laura’s dyslexia flaring up again, and Nicole’s deliberate diction and slow delivery coming off as snobbish. I didn’t get a snob vibe at all – I thought that commercial was just, well, Nicole. (Tyra agreed later on.) Laura, too, conquered her dyslexia and delivered a charming (if slightly slurred) commercial.

After a photo shoot at the house for Seventeen magazine, Tyra stopped by for one of those chats in which she tries to make the girls cry. (It’s almost as if the tears of young women give her power – or maybe I’ve seen her talk show one too many times.) Nicole obviously wasn’t going to give Tyra what she needed, but once Laura started talking about her beloved grandma – jackpot!

The final challenge was a runway show that featured previous cycle winner Teyona, the return of Erin, Jennifer, Sundai and Brittany, and Eddie Murphy’s daughter (huh?!) I’m not really sure why the eliminees were brought back other than to make us think that Laura had a chance of winning since three of them said they were rooting for her. (Methinks they were still a little bitter about having their asses kicked by Nicole.)

The runway show – featuring fire, water, wind (but not earth – or heart) – got underway and things did NOT look good for Nicole and her aggressive, shoulder-y walk. (To be fair, it DID seem to improve throughout the show.) Laura, meanwhile, looked fantastic, particularly at the end of the wind portion. (It was so good that the editors used that shot about four times.) The show ended with the Top Model girls writhing under a sprinkler. (I’m assuming Eddie Murphy missed that part since he probably bailed out early to make a horrible movie.)

When the Tyra, Ms. J and Nigel were breaking down the runway show, I was convinced the advantage would clearly go to Laura. However, Tyra and Nigel got over their initial horror at Nicole’s walk and praised it for being distinctive and “signature.” And when you really think about it, while Laura’s walk was good, there really wasn’t anything memorable about it.

The judges also flipped through a few of the finalists past photos and Nicole won every head-to-head matchup except for the Cirque du Soleil challenge.

As a result, Nicole was named the winner of the first all-petite cycle of “America’s Next Top Model.” (Though she’s actually taller than cycle 3 winner Eva.) What can I say that I haven’t said already? Nicole was the best model throughout the competition and deserved the win.

That’s actually why I was nervous and worried that she wouldn’t win since this show has a great track record for not giving the victory to the best girl. As we see in the “Top Models in Action” segments, some of the more successful working models on this show are also-rans and if Nicole had lost, I have no doubt she would’ve found work.

Still, she won and I’m happy for her, if only for the idea that the best person got what they deserved. Also, kudos to Laura for being a great contestant, absolutely hilarious and one of the sweetest girls this show has ever seen. This cycle may have started off slow, but it’s hard to argue with the result.

So what’d you think of this episode? What’d you think of this cycle? Would you have given Laura the win? Finally, did you kinda miss the Auto-Tune-riffic “Top Model” theme at the end? (I know I did.)

Thanks for reading along this season/cycle.

NFL 2009 Week 11 picks

Bye bye, byes!

We’re done with the annoying off-weeks, so that means your favorite team is playing ever Sunday (or Thursday or Monday or Saturday) from here on out.

I did ok with my picks last week (10-5 week, 96-48 season). This week, I want to do great!

MIAMI @ CAROLINA
This is a sneakily interesting game. (When the hell did Carolina get to 4-5?!) I’m going with the “surging” Panthers mostly because the Dolphins are going to be hurting big time without RB/Wildcat specialist Ronnie Brown (pictured, left) for the rest of the year.

WASHINGTON @ DALLAS
I LOVE how frisky Washington was last week and, even after last week’s bad loss in Green Bay, the Cowboys are feeling a little too good about themselves. A loss at home to the Skins ought to REALLY wake them up.

SAN FRANCISCO @ GREEN BAY
Sorry, but barely (bearly?) beating sorry Chicago at home is not enough for me to hop back on the bandwagon.

PITTSBURGH @ KANSAS CITY
Pittsburgh was going to win this game anyway, but you’ve got to think they’ll be extra annoyed after being totally shut down by the Bengals last week.

ATLANTA @ N.Y. GIANTS
The Giants have already gone through what the Cowboys are about to go through and what the Eagles are going through – the “what is THE MATTER with them?” phase. Watch out!

NEW ORLEANS @ TAMPA BAY
It really is a shame our defense is so horrendous, because that rookie QB can play a little.

BUFFALO @ JACKSONVILLE
To paraphrase my Miami @ Carolina item, when the hell did Jacksonville get to 5-4?! It’ll be 6-4 after they beat Buffalo, led by…whoever’s coaching them now. (Like you’d know the guy’s name without Googling…it IS a guy, right? It HAS to be, otherwise I would’ve definitely heard of the first female head coach in the NFL.)

INDIANAPOLIS @ BALTIMORE
I hate to repeat myself, but I’m just going to go ahead and keep picking Indy until they lose because I like being right.

SEATTLE @ MINNESOTA
Even if Seattle weren’t kinda terrible on the road, I’d take the Vikes.

ARIZONA @ ST. LOUIS
Arizona’s starting to put things together – which is why I’m going with the suddenly lively Rams! (Arizona won’t put the NFC West away just yet, forcing us to pay attention to that horrendous division until the very end.)

N.Y. JETS @ NEW ENGLAND
For the record, I liked Belichick going for it on 4th and 2. He put the responsibility for that game squarely on his shoulders. If he punts and the Colts drive 70 yards for the win, people blame the Pats D, and not the coach. By doing what he did, he put the target on HIS back, despite the fact that there was no law that said the Patriots D couldn’t have risen to the occasion and, you know, stopped the Colts from marching 29 yards into the end zone. Now all the heat is on Belichick, who can definitely take it because it’s pretty clear he doesn’t give a damn what you or I think.

Oh yeah, this game – I say the Pats are a little annoyed and win by a score of about 48-7.

CINCINNATI @ OAKLAND
I WANT to pick Oakland for an upset because the Bengals are primed to get complacent and lose – but the Raiders are just SO bad.

SAN DIEGO @ DENVER
I see Denver has begun their traditional late-season collapse early this year. Is this more or less painful for Broncos fans?

PHILADELPHIA @ CHICAGO
And now’s about the time the Eagles put a nice little run together before Donovan McNabb and company break fans’ hearts in December/January.

TENNESSEE @ HOUSTON
I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. I’m going to keep picking Tennessee until they lose! (Ok, so no one has ever said that, but I think they’ll beat Houston.)

Dancing with the Stars: Technical Knockout

After last week’s surprisingly terrific episode, we were due for a letdown.

Each of the four remaining couples performed three — actually, more like two and a half — routines during the semifinal round. Donny’s stumbles and struggles during his show-opening tango turned out to be an omen for the rest of the evening, which just felt like it was missing…something.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Instead, let’s talk about each couple, in order of appearance.

Donny Osmond & Kym: Gilles Marini stopped by for a visit and informed Donny that the key to the tango is making the audience uncomfortable. I’m not sure bumbling through the tango after Kym got her dress caught in her heel was what Gilles was talking about, but this tango was definitely uncomfortable to watch, so mission accomplished!(?) The dance was almost as uncomfortable as Donny’s over-the-top, self-deprecating reaction right afterward. Then again, even that wasn’t as bad as Donny’s (failed) humorous attempt to blame the whole thing on his sister Marie.

Fortunately, his next two dances were a clear improvement. His samba was adequately spry and lively (though a little goofy). The third performance by each couple was the abbreviated knockout dance they all had to prepare a few weeks ago in case they were in jeopardy. Donny and Kym inexplicably dressed up as watermelons and did a very good jitterbug. The fact that this was a short performance helped Donny because the jitterbug is relentless. Despite being in the bottom of the leaderboard again, I’d bet money that he’s going to the finals. I just don’t feel it’s a sure thing after his increasingly bizarre post-dance behavior.

Joanna Krupa & Derek: Brooke Burke became the second DWTS-alum in a row to stop by a rehearsal package and helped Joanna deal with the often-intense Derek by having them impersonate each other. (Hey, he DOES pull his hair straight up when he’s exasperated!) I don’t know whether the “role playing” helped or not, but I thought Joanna’s waltz was pretty terrific.

I wish I could say the same about their cha cha. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again – Derek Hough is a genius. Usually I say this because of his terrific choreography. Today I’m saying it because he’s smart enough to realize that Joanna has NO hip action, so he decided to dress her in bright red fringe pants that give the illusion of hip-action. BRILLIANT! Her knockout salsa was an improvement, even if it looked just like their mambo from a few weeks ago. (And I definitely could’ve done without the “rock and roll” gesture Derek flashed at one point – what are you doing, man?!)

Kelly Osbourne & Louis: Remember how last week we were introduced to Kelly’s adorable, puffy little dogs? Well, I hope you didn’t get too attached to both of them. Kelly soldiered through her grief and delivered a sexy, capable rumba (the hardest dance to master, in my opinion) right up until the very end when they screwed up a bit. I even liked the bit where Louis hung back and creepily stared at Kelly while she did her solo.

I wasn’t as big a fan of her quickstep as the rest of the judges were. There were parts where it looked like Kelly was simply running instead of dancing, and there was a portion she and Louis weren’t together at all. Her cha cha knockout dance had potential to be great, but it ended before it really got started.

Mya & Dmitry: If Mya’s main concern is that she doesn’t look like she care enough or has to try as hard as the others, then her rehearsal package did her no favor. I know ALL the rehearsal packages are staged, but the whole “Rules” segment (late fees, pushups for mistakes) was off-puttingly phony. Fortunately, her excellent dancing made up for all of this.

Yes, the couple’s waltz was lovely and almost perfectly danced, but I want to talk about her second round salsa. It’s not only the best performance of the season, but it’s one of the best routines I’ve ever seen on this show. Finally, Mya seemed to really let herself go and got down! I think even Len was so stunned that he didn’t realize he admitted that he’d been looking at her buttocks the entire time. Her knockout cha cha was also excellent (now HERE’S a celeb that can move her hips). Finally, it appears Carrie Ann has taken on the “hater” mantle from Len in regards to this couple. I get that you don’t want to give them a 30 anytime, but her critiques don’t even really make sense.

So what’d you think of this episode? Is Gilles Marini the best male celeb dancer this show has ever seen? (I say, yes — sorry Mario Lopez.) Which contestant’s background video package was the best? (I don’t know why, but Donny’s son talking about how the 80’s were rough on his dad cracked me up.) Finally, who’s making it to the finals? (Mya’s obviously in, the judges clearly want Joanna and Derek in, so it comes down to Kelly and Donny. I’m guessing Donny’s fanbase pushes him past Kelly into the finals.)

Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: Tough Love

For more than a second there, I actually thought Matt was going to kill himself.

I’ve covered the many ways “Nip/Tuck” has gone off the rails in its last season (I swear I mean that as a compliment). So I don’t think it would’ve been completely out of the question to have one of the show’s original characters off himself rather than go to jail.

Christian didn’t have a whole lot of screen time in this episode, but most of his scenes were dedicated to his quest to give Matt some tough love.

He’d helped fix Matt up after the erstwhile mime had gotten himself shot trying to rob a convenience store. Enter one of primetime TV’s dampest wet blankets, Julia McNamara. (No offense to Joely Richardson, but Julia DEFINITELY became more of a drag over the years than she was initially.)

Sean — in a trance following the disappearance of his wife and after narrowly escaping death — wasn’t interested in sending Matt to prison. Christian eventually convinced Julia that a prison sentence might be the only thing that could help Matt. And considering how consistently horrible Matt’s life has been, I think he might be better off in prison.

If nothing else, Matt’s had a prison sentence coming from a long time considering that he’s made crystal meth, been involved in a hit-and-run, and was involved in the murder of his ex-girlfriend’s bigoted father. And that’s just the stuff I thought of off the top of my head!

Overhearing Christian’s plans, Matt ditched the hospital bed and tried to pick up some of his leftover miming money before he was busted by Sean. This led to the most touching scene in the episode. (Nicely played by both actors.) Sean lamented not being a better father, but Matt manned up and took responsibility for being a screw up. The two hugged and Sean let him go.

Matt stopped by to say goodbye to Jenna, and Kimber improbably asked to come along to Mexico. I felt stupid not guessing that Christian had put her up to it — especially after that scene from the previews with Matt and Christian in the same car — but it was a nice twist nonetheless. Matt threatened to shoot Christian and ran away again, until his wound started bleeding profusely. He appeared to reach for his gun, which is when I became convinced he was going to end it.

Instead, he called Sean who came over to fix him. Unfortunately for Matt, Sean also brought half of the California state troopers with him, leading to his arrest. I’m interested to see what they do with Matt for the rest of the series run. I don’t see how he avoids a jail sentence, but does that mean the rest of his scenes are going to have him handcuffed in some depressing interrogation room?

Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, since a dank room in a prison gave us this episode’s best scene.

Matthew Glave — a.k.a Drew Barrymore’s jerky fiancé from “The Wedding Singer — was arrested for the murder of Teddy Rowe.

If you recall, Teddy had the worst luck in the world last week when she not only failed to kill Sean and his kids, but she also wandered over to a serial killer’s campsite. Glenn Gulia asked to meet with Sean and told him about Teddy’s plans to kill him and his kids. He then asked that Sean thank him for killing his wife (and saving his life) which was fantastically twisted. (And Glave was great!)

Sean understandably attacked him, but got a sucker punch to the gut when the police showed him all of Teddy’s past lives (and all her dead ex-husbands). I was hoping the show would mix in a photo of Katee Sackhoff as Teddy (hey she changed her appearance!) but I suppose they were just never going to acknowledge the jarring change in actresses/personality of the character.

That being said, I was pretty happy with the way they wrapped up the Teddy storyline. Kudos to Rose McGowan and the dozen or so different locations Teddy’s body is probably located.

So what’d you think of this episode? Were you into patient of the week Abigail Sullivan? (I thought the “parasitic twin” plot was interesting and appropriately icky for this show, but after “Enigma” and “Jenny Juggs” I’m kind of tired of the surgeries predictably backfiring because the patients can’t cope.) Finally, was Julia out of line when she chided Sean for his poor judgment? (She had a point, but the guy had just barely gotten out alive and his wife was dead – it came off a little cold.)

Conflict of Interest: Wes Welker edition

It’s crunch time in the fantasy football season.

I’m lucky enough to not be completely out of it in either league, but I NEED to win games from here on out if I want to go to the postseason.

That means I’ll be hoping all of my players in both leagues have solid games because I can’t really afford to tank ANY games.

This week, I face Wes Welker in my Yahoo League where I’m 5-4 and clinging to the final playoff spot, but I own him in my Yahoo Plus League where I’m 4-5 and fading fast.

The natural inclination would be to hope Welker has a monster game for me, so I can climb back to .500 in my Yahoo Plus League. However, receivers don’t get nearly as many points in the Yahoo Plus League as they do in the Yahoo League. So if Welker has a big game, he’ll get me considerably less points than he’ll get my opponent in my other league.

Since Welker is arguably the most consistent receiver in the league, I’m hoping he has a typical (as opposed to extraordinary) game. So…

Dream statline: 7 catches for 79 yards and 0 TDs.

Heroes: Body Control

(Sigh)

It seems like every time “Heroes” is on the brink of doing something awesome, the show does something to undermine itself.

Let’s jump right in and talk about the thoroughly unnecessary Mylar storyline. If you’re just tuning in, Sylar(‘s consciousness) turned the tables on Parkman last time and invaded his body, leaving Matt to helplessly follow along as Mylar made his way to New York.

In the episode’s second-biggest twist, this stuff turned out to be pretty entertaining! I enjoyed the combination of editing and acting by Zachary Quinto and Greg Grunberg in conveying Sylar walking around in Matt’s body (with its questionable upper body strength). Matt(‘s consciousness) retained his own brain-bending abilities (it’s easier if you don’t ask) and had the advantage early. Sylar regained the upper hand by reminding Matt that he’s willing to kill people and started committing murders in Parkman’s body.

Parkman finally got tired of getting owned throughout this entire season and decided to commit a murder of his own – his own! (The redundancy police just arrested me.) He forced his body to bait the cops into shooting him (pictured, left), technically resulting in both a murder and a suicide! Sacrificing himself and killing Sylar(‘s consciousness), would’ve been a fantastically noble end for a character that has long outlived his usefulness.

Except that the writers cut to an ambulance where Parkman (presumably back in his own body) was clinging to his life.

(Double sigh)

Fortunately, the other two storylines were somewhat more satisfying.

Peter has been going around using his new healing power to save as many people as he can. Predictably, this is taking a physical toll on him. (When’s he going to learn that he can’t save everyone?)

Emma didn’t need her power to help anyone out. (Not that her power would’ve been much help.) She used her medical school dropout (go back to high school) background to help out at the hospital after a grisly train wreck. By the end of the episode, she seemed resolved to go back to school and help people that way. It’s interesting to have a superpowered person on this show help people by NOT using her abilities, but I wonder how they’ll keep Emma involved in the show.

Even better was the Claire/Noah storyline, which crossed paths with Samuel and his endless quest to creep up on people.

I liked that the writers didn’t completely ignore the fact that those two annoying sorority girls SAW Claire get impaled during their scavenger hunt. That problem was quickly resolved when Claire called Noah and the two girls “went Haitian.” (I love that phrase now, and welcome back Jimmy Jean-Louis.)

I also really dug the fact that Gretchen was extremely and appropriately freaked out by the fact that Invisible Becky was trying to kill her. (“What if she’s here waiting to kill me…invisibly?”) I felt pretty bad for Claire when Gretchen left, even after Claire took stronger measures than baby powder to keep her safe. I feel bad, but I really can’t blame Gretchen.

It was around that time that Samuel showed up for his next stop in his seemingly interminable recruitment tour. He gave Claire his “come be accepted” pitch, while Noah went to the sorority house to track down Becky.

This was around the time that the episode unleashed its best twist. All this time, the reason Becky had been targeting Claire is to get to Noah, who was responsible for the death of her father. (I should’ve seen it coming, since it was Noah’s face that had shown up on Lydia’s back a few weeks ago.)

There were some really good father-daughter moments in this episode between Claire and Noah. (I liked the little smile he gave Claire when she asked Samuel if he really believed she’d trust him more than her dad.) It’s a good thing they had those moments because Noah was a few seconds away from killing Becky when she ambushed them in the end of the episode. He ended up sparing Becky and Samuel’s life and Claire went back to her lonely dorm.

Oh, I almost forgot – Adrian Pasdar is back! (For now.)

So what’d you think of this episode? When is Zachary Quinto going to cut his hair? (The way it constantly falls all over his face HAS to be annoying.) Why was that little girl passed out all by herself? (At least she was helpfully unconscious in a storage closet.) Do you think we’ve seen the last of Gretchen? Finally, does this show have the guts to kill Parkman for good?

Project Runway: Road Trip

The first half of every “Project Runway” season finale is always one of my least favorite episodes.

There’s hardly any sewing or workroom drama and, obviously, there’s no runway show or elimination. On top of that, we know there’s a “To Be Continued” coming, so it’s hard to get totally invested in this hour without looking ahead.

Fortunately, what these episodes DO have is a healthy dose of Tim Gunn. We watched the beloved mentor visit each of the three finalists 10 weeks after the last challenge.

First up was a trip to snowy Huntington, N.Y. (seriously, I’m pretty sure Tim needed a snowmobile to get to her yard) where Carol-Hannah had moved from Charleston. Her collection was inspired by the Duke University campus she visited on her trip up to New York mixed in with a dash of fairy tales and general willowy-ness. Carol-Hannah displayed her amazing versatility by showing Tim that she’d made pants!

Honestly, the highlight of this trip was Tim slapping on an apron (that didn’t cover his white shirt) and helping make biscuits for a meal with Carol-Hannah’s family.

Up next, Tim went to Irina’s NYC apartment which was as tiny and cramped as Carol-Hannah’s house was lush and open. Irina’s inspiration came from Brooklyn’s Coney Island, the borough she moved to when her family relocated from the republic of Georgia.

This visit seemed to show off a soft(er) side of Irina. I also got the distinct impression that her mom is considerably more supportive than her dad, who was giving off “I wish my daughter would get a REAL job” or “I wish she would marry a responsible man and settle down” vibes from his seat at the table

The last stop was a trip to Dayton, Ohio, home of Althea and (apparently) shoddy elevators. (Egads!) Althea said her collection was inspired by strong women in sci-fi. While I thought her pieces stood out the most and her collection is probably the funkiest out of the three finalists, I really don’t see it. In a semi-related story, hers was also the collection Tim seemed most concerned about.

With the visits done, the show still had half an hour to fill, so the producers did their best to manufacture some drama.

Irina was informed that she could not use the copyrighted images of Coney Island in her collection which bummed her out, but ultimately proved to be a non-issue. Carol-Hannah contracted a nasty (contagious!) stomach virus that forced Irina and Althea to share the same physical space for a prolonged period of time. (Awkward!) Sorry, but as sick as Carol-Hannah looked in the second half of the episode, I never believed for a second that she wasn’t going to show up or drop out of the competition.

After a surprise visit/pep talk from Michael Kors and Nina Garcia (you guys can show up to the workroom, but you can’t be bothered to attend judging?!) the twist we all knew was coming was revealed: the designers would have to create a 13th look for their collection.

The designers would also have help from previous contestants. Althea went first and picked Logan (much to Carol-Hannah’s chagrin), who I guess she forgave for the zippered collar fiasco. Irina selected BFF Gordana and Carol-Hannah was stuck with Christopher. As bad as Christopher and Logan were toward the end of their run, I don’t think they’ll have much of a (negative) effect on the finalists — their problems were more conceptual than anything, and I doubt they’ll be asked to do anything more than sew like crazy.

We ended the episode with a trip to Mood 1.0 and with Carol-Hannah barfing her guts up in the toilet.

From what we saw in this episode, it seems like Althea has the most divisive collection, while Irina’s doesn’t appear to have too much variety (all black, all the time). As a result, I’m predicting a Carol-Hannah victory (assuming she survives).

Sorry if I don’t sound terribly excited. I like Carol Hannah, and I’ll be happy if she wins.

It’s just that this season has been more about rewarding the people who screwed up the least rather than rewarding excellence. To her credit, Carol-Hannah has screwed up the least throughout the season and will probably win.

So what’d you think of this episode? Were you as annoyed as I was when Irina’s parents were subtitled, even though we could pretty much understand everything they were saying? Finally, who do you think should and will win?

America's Next Top Recap: Making Waves

Sometimes, the good guys DO win.

Believe me, “America’s Next Top Model” is probably the last place I expected to have this life-affirming lesson confirmed.

Since it’s the last episode before the season/cycle finale, we were treated to the obligatory “I really want this”, “I can’t believe I made it this far”, “I don’t want to go home NOW” cliché-fest.

Fortunately, this is “Top Model” – so there was a lot of crazy crap in store to break up the boredom.

In her continuing, paradoxical quest to teach these girls the art of dance and then criticize their photos for “looking too much like a dancer”, Tyra sent the girls for a hip hop hula lesson from a rather mannish instructor. (Sorry, but she WAS!) Apparently, “hip hop hula” is not so much a fusion of the two styles as it is hula followed by (needle scratching on record sound) hip hop.

The girls had to learn a routine which they would perform with the HHH dancers. The routine would also include a solo, in which the girls would use dance to express deep emotions like “love”, “determination” and “awkwardness.” (Ok, so that last one was just Nicole.)

Erin (and her dance/cheerleading background) took charge, and things went about as well as when Ashley (with HER dance background) tried to choreograph a routine during the Benny Ninja challenge. (The common factor in both instances – rhythmically-retarded Nicole!) Then again, maybe if Erin hadn’t been so brusque and bossy (she just can’t help it!) things might have gone better.

Nicole was predictably terrible, but thankfully had a good sense of humor when Ms. J mocked her. Jennifer had gone first, and did an ok job. Erin nailed the HHH portion, but her solo was mostly unwatchable. Laura unleashed her inner krumper (seriously, she’s got skillz!) and won the weekly challenge - a return trip back to Hawaii. (Did anybody else assume this meant a friend from back home, not one of her competitors?) Laura chose Jennifer (who had taken to yelling IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER CONFESSIONALS!)

The photo shoot for the week was inspired by Pele, goddess of volcanoes. (NOT by the greatest soccer player of all time, though THAT would’ve been interesting.) Apparently, Pele spent a lot of her time standing on rocks at the edge of the ocean and waiting for waves to dramatically crash around her. Mr. Jay also announced that TWO girls would be going home. (dun, dun, DUN!)

Jennifer went first and struggled, mostly because she stubbornly refused to get off her tip-toes. Nicole followed her and did amazingly. (In other news, the sky is blue.) Laura seemed to struggle mightily enough to convince me she was going to be sent packing. Erin went last and had a mean look on her face (she’s mean, what do you expect?) until she decided to sing a song to herself in her head. (A pop song “teenagers listen to,” said teenager Erin.) Why didn’t Erin tell us tell us the song? Would the CW have to pay for the music rights if she did? (I told you they were strapped for cash!)

For the first time I wasn’t a fan of ANY of the pictures shown at panel.

Though it was obvious Nicole did the best job, I felt like Tyra chose a more subdued photo of her simply to create doubt as to whether or not she’d make the finals. (It didn’t work.)

Jennifer, Laura and Erin stepped up with only one spot open in the top 2. The nicest thing they could say about Jennifer’s picture was that her skin looked good. Erin’s picture was the best out of this three, but Tyra mentioned that the rest of her film was crap. The judges seemed to really admire Laura’s shot, but, to be honest, I kind of hated it. Her legs looked shorter than they are and her face looked a lot more startled and put-off than sexy.

That being said, I was ecstatic that Laura earned that second spot in the finale. (I literally high-fived my girlfriend!) Not only are these the two best competitors – watching Jennifer’s montage at the end made me realize that none of her photos were really very good – but they’re also my absolute favorite contestants in this cycle. I mean, who else but Laura could make not knowing what “covet” means charming?

So what’d you think of this episode? What exactly was the point of eliminating two people and NOT having a final 3? Finally, who do you think will win the finale? Though Nicole is an overwhelming favorite, I keep hearing a nagging voice telling me that the judges want Laura (and what they think is a personality superior to Nicole’s) to win.