I mean, if America doesn't give a damn about the final four for Cycle 9 of "America's Next Top Model", then why should I?How do I know that America doesn't care? Last night, Heather was the winner of the coveted "Cover Girl of the Week" fan voting for approximately the 72nd consecutive week last night. For those of you just joining us, Heather was eliminated last week. I mean, I've never voted for "Cover Girl of the Week" so I didn't even know it was possible for someone who wasn't there to win? Are their names still up there or did people write-in their vote?
I went into last night with half-hearted enthusiasm and I came out with mixed reactions.
Let's talk about the stuff I was enthusiastic for — Bianca is gone. That's about it. I mean, that's a pretty big and significant point, and when it came down to Bianca and Jenah, I surprised myself by how much I was rooting for Jenah.
And it wasn't even because, during the runway challenge, Bianca tricked Jenah into going across the street to look for accessories that weren't there for their outfits. I mean, has Jenah MET Bianca? Why would she trust her? Bianca's a bitch, but that's Jenah's fault for being stupid and believing her. It was because that damn Bianca just would NOT shut up. She had something to say about everything (wonder what her thoughts on Darfur are?) and it was pretty much always inane. That and she completely dissed the heartfelt letter Heather left behind for the girls.
The rest of the episode was just a big bag of "eh". I mean, if the models couldn't get excited (or keep a straight face) during the four beauties show (lamely) presented by Ms. J (who did the thing where he went out of his way to try to properly pronounce Chinese words) and Twiggy why should I care? I DID enjoy Bianca looking around and asking, "is that it?"
The girl's were given one hour to shop for accessories and present their interpretations of the four beauties for a runway show. Fortunately, they appeared to be paying more attention than I was (all I heard was something about a making a flower jealous) because, for the most part, they came up with thoughtful accessories to their outfits. Well, except maybe for Chantal, whose critique consisted of the Seventeen magazine editrix telling her that she liked her yellow shoes. Jenah deservedly won after updating her outfit.
Later, Tyra (pictured, right, taking a picture) made her predictable late-in-the-game appearance to photograph the girls by the Great Wall. I mean, I know that Tyra has some experience as a photographer, but shouldn't such a relatively important shoot (the one before the final) be handled by, you know, a REAL photographer? I get that Tyra wants to spend time with the girls and get a sense of how they are on set, but I just did not get this week's shoot.
They were supposed to be fiercely growling at invaders on the other side of the Great Wall (or something) but what we got were dark pictures where the girls were told to be jumping (for some reason) and we could only see about 23 percent of their faces.
The best (and only good photo) was Saleisha who (surprise) looked at the camera and the worst was Bianca, who managed to blow the one photo shoot where looking like a bitch would've worked for her.
In the end, Bianca was kicked off. Not because she was a she-beast, but because modeling didn't come as naturally for her as it did for the others. WHATEVER. As long as she's gone I don't care. Nigel and the rest of the judges took time out from hating Jenah this week. Instead, Tyra made her cry by making her talk about how much she missed her family before telling her that this was "the best experience of her life". Thank you for telling me what the best experience of another person's life is Tyra. You hadn't done something outwardly crazy in a few weeks. I kinda missed that.
So what'd you think of this episode? Am I the only one who thought that Jenah and Chantal looked EXACTLY like the same person when done up for their Great Wall shoot? Also, I can't be the only one who was completely confused when the judges praised her look in the group picture? What sort of blackmail material does Chantal have on the judges to make them praise her after weeks and weeks of mediocrity?Is there any way in hell Chantal will actually win this thing? Would Chantal be the worst winner in "Top Model" history ? (I'll take this question — yes.) Also, how cool is it that I got to legitimately use the word "editrix" in this recap?
Finally, who ya got? I'm thinking newly-high fashion Saleisha will win and become the first winner of a modeling competition with an ugly bowl cut. Still, I'm voting for Heather, running into the ring, taking out the final two with a steel chair and taking the title she deserves.
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