Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: Big Babies

Last night’s episode of “Nip/Tuck” was strange.

Ok, so, EVERY episode of “Nip/Tuck” is strange, so imagine how out-there it had to be to make me notice.

Unfortunately, this was NOT always a good thing. There were at least two different times during “Gene Shelly” where the events that were occurring were so weird or out-of-whack, that I was convinced one of the characters was having a dream sequence. In one instance (Christian and Liz having sex), I was happy that what we were seeing was really happening, while in the other (Christian and Kimber’s scene) I was disappointed and confused to realize the mess I just saw couldn’t be explained away by a dream).

Mostly though, I enjoyed the episode due to the usual, outlandish shenanigans (Sean in a diaper!) I’m also liking Christian being down in the dumps, Liz being there to pick him up (although maybe not anymore after last night). Most of all, I’m loving Raj!

The episode opened with the young know-it-all offering to tell the androgynous Gene Shelly and his equally-androgynous wife what he didn’t like about themselves. Of course, no matter how good Raj is supposed to be, it seems absurd to have a 17-year-old sitting in on consults and performing surgeries (somewhere Doogie Howser is scoffing), but this is “Nip/Tuck” and Raj is funny as hell so I’m happy to let it go.

In turn, Raj was happy to receive oral sex from Mrs. Shelly (how did THOSE two hook up?) until he found out he had a penis — which was attached to her balls. Altogether now — EWWWWWW.

Fortunately for him, his colleague Liz was having her own sexual-identity issues after a quickie with Christian and was able to offer advice to the “freaked-out-I-may-be-gay” Raj. My take’s always been that liking musical theatre, or having an appreciation for interior design aren’t the things that make you gay — sexual activity with other guys makes you gay. Then again, Raj thought Mrs. Shelly was a woman, so he’s straight, right?

For her part, Liz fell for the ol’ “pretending that I’m asleep while we have sex trip” (who among us hasn’t fallen for that one, right?) I was surprised by how much I didn’t mind this sexual encounter. I’ve always been a fan of Liz and Christian’s relationship, and I was enjoying her taking care of him while he watched “Ellen” (oh, the indignity!) I was worried the sexual encounter would ruin all of this (especially after Christian admitted he was awake and gloated like the immature jerk that he is) and I was right. Then I realized that Christian and Liz being buddy-buddy would’ve gotten old fast and that, in a perverse way, Liz DID help Christian get back to feeling better. The other reason it worked was because it was kinda hot.

It’d been a rough night for Christian. First he was rejected by an apparently schizophrenic Kimber. I’m glad the character’s back, but what was up with her scene with Chrsitian. We learned the character is still with porn producer Ram (and Eden!), so why the hell is she so readily willing to bone Christian again? I also didn’t buy her laughing in Christian’s face about the scar on his chest, though her observation that it served him right for all the emotional scars he’s inflected made sense. Her character’s always been troubled, but I don’t remember her ever being cruel (unless you count the one time she had to pretend to be cruel to Matt). Mostly Kimber came off as an insane, multiple-personality loony in this scene.

I also enjoyed Christian’s disastrous encounter with the garlic-breathed prostitute who didn’t quite match her picture online. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she kicked his ass, took his money AND his pills. Not fun times for him.

Sean (pictured, left) wasn’t having a much-better week. We learned at the end of last week’s episode that he was faking not being able to walk, and I was happy to get some insight this week as to why.

First, he had to contend with an overzealous student who apparently has a fetish for babies. Let me be clear: I’m not saying that she really likes babies, I’m saying that she, apparently, would like to have sex with a baby. Altogether now — Double EWWWWWWW.

Still, this subplot WAS pretty hilarious and I actually felt bad for the little freak when Sean exploded at her and revealed he could walk (everyone has their weird stuff, right?) Unfortunately for him, Julia saw him from a distance and told Matt and Christian, who decided to confront him.

I actually really enjoyed Julia’s reappearance last night. We learned that she’s still with Olivia and still mad at Sean for lying to her about them being married while she had amnesia. Most importantly, she had one of the best lines of the night when she told Christian “I thought it was you” upon seeing Sean kicking a woman out of the apartment and walking around in a diaper.

A little later, Christian confronted Sean and told him that he understood why he would want to stay in the chair. For years, Sean had been the responsible one taking care of everyone else, so he didn’t begrudge his friend if Sean wanted someone to take care of him (and change his diaper) for once. In the end, Sean walked over to the sick, weak Christian and put his hand on his shoulder to help his friend. Or maybe he just realized that everyone (not just the harsh personal trainer) were on to him. Either way, it’s perfect timing for Christian because I have a feeling Liz won’t be his nurse anymore.

So what’d you think of this episode? Did we have to see Christian throwing up so much (I lost count after the fifth puke)? Did Christian really make Liz have an orgasm or do we think she was faking? (I’m thinking it was real, which is why she was so alarmed and mortified that he was actually awake.) Finally, were you happier to see Julia or Kimber back?