American Idol: American I-Duels

I don’t usually do recaps for “American Idol” result shows and, let’s face it: the final Hollywood Week episode where we find out who advances to the semifinal round is really just a glorified results show, featuring an elevator and with 1,000 percent more tears.

However, Wednesday night’s episode threw in enough wrinkles to keep me interested most of the time, despite the fact that I’ve said repeatedly that no reality show needs to be two hours long (especially a results show).

I’m too lazy to type out the name of all 36 semifinalists (since you’re probably not as lazy as I am, you can find them almost anywhere on the web). There were no major shockers as far as who got through. I wish I’d been shocked that Tatianna del Toro and Norman Gentle made it through. The only elimination that really surprised me (and all the shocked singers who were gathered) was Jamar Rogers, who I’d take any day over blind Scot MacIntyre, who’s a nice guy, but just not good enough. Let’s just go ahead and do a rundown of the highlights and lowlights of last night’s episode.

Highlight: The sing-offs between two contestants the judges weren’t sure about.
I liked the idea of having borderline contestants “sing for their lives” because I imagine there really were a number of singers the judges were on the fence about and what better way to see if they could deal with the Idol pressure cooker than putting them on the spot, with a place in the semifinals on the line.

Also, the slightly sadistic side of me enjoyed watching someone else struggle to come up with the perfect song and deliver a worthy performance to keep their dream alive. I thought it had the potential for excellent drama.

Lowlight: The execution of the sing-offs.
I say “potential” because based on what we saw last night the sing-off concept was mostly botched.

The way it worked is that the judges would summon two singers, speak to one person first and have them perform their song, tell that person to leave, have the second person perform, deliberate and then announce their choice. The problem was that this presented an unfair advantage to the person who sang second. They had more time to calm their nerves, and, perhaps, come up with a better song choice. I don’t think it was an accident that, in every sing-off we saw last night, the person who went second won every time. Ok, the one time the second person didn’t win was in the Matt Breitzk/Michael Sarver tie, which Sarver (pictured, right) CLEARLY won, but the judges called a tie because they like Matt (pictured, left). And so do I.

Highlight: It looks like a wide open field.
I’ll let you decide if it’s parity or mediocrity. Personally, I kinda like that there’s no clear-cut favorite (the closest person is Danny Gokey who seemed confident last night, but not yet arrogant) and that should make for an interesting competition. I think there’s still great potential for someone to come out of nowhere and wow us. Then again, that speaks to how lackluster the talent has looked so far.

Lowlight: Tatianna del Toro and Norman Gentle.
I made my thoughts on Norman clear in my last recap, so allow me to address Tatianna briefly.

In my last column, I suggested that she wasn’t as bad as contrived Norman because she was legitimately crazy. However, there was a moment in last night’s episode after Tatianna advanced to the semifinals where she was walking normally, glanced at the camera for a second and then started “acting” crazy. Before she was just annoying — now I find out she’s being annoying on purpose and being rewarded for it. She represents the worst of Idol this season.

Highlight: The idea behind the judges’ mansion.
When they announced it last week, I pictured the judges actually living in the mansion and getting into arguments like it was the Real World. I pictured eliminated contestants being escorted out of the grounds by a butler. At the very least I imagined some stereotypical classical music whenever they cut to exterior shots of the mansion.

Lowlight: The reality of the judges’ mansion.
I mean, it wasn’t BAD or anything, they just didn’t really take advantage of the mansion setting, in my opinion (other than the comfy-looking thrones the judges sat in). Then again, as my girlfriend Erica pointed out, it just seems irresponsible to rent out an entire mansion in this economy when a crappy elevator and a menacingly-long room will do.

Highlight: The lineup for next week’s semi-final episode.
The show’s bringing back the wild card for its semifinals this year. Three different groups of 12 semifinalists will perform over the next three weeks with the public voting on their performances. Each week, the top male and female will advance, as will the next highest vote-getter (guy or girl). The judges will then select three additional wild card recipients and that’ll be our top 12. Should make things pretty interesting.

Especially since next week will give us likable and talented people like Danny Gokey, Annop Desai, Anne Marie Boskovich, Michael Sarver, Stephen Fowler, and Jackie Tohn (and Tatianna del Toro will be there too!) Only three of them can make it through on their own next week. Can’t wait to see who it is.

Lowlight: Simon.
I realize that Simon is what makes the judges tolerable about 85 percent of the time, but he can really be a (to quote Alec Baldwin) rude thoughtless pig.

I mean, let’s take the “rude thoughtless” part first. Did he actually think he was being kind to Frankie Jordan when he said “If it’s any consolation, you wouldn’t have won anyway”? If he genuinely thought that would console her, then he’s thoughtless, if he just said it to be a dick, then he’s being incredibly rude. And what happened to the semi-famous clip of him saying “forget the lyrics, you’re out.” I guess he meant, unless you’re Stephen Fowler, Casey Carlson or Joanna Pacitti. (Well, if you’re Joanna Pacitti, you’re out of the competition anyway for undisclosed reasons.)

Now, let’s talk about the pig part. You’ve probably read that Simon ended his long-term relationship not that long ago and, apparently, he feels like that’s given him license to be more openly and disgustingly lecherous than ever. We saw it with Bikini Girl, and we saw it in the showdown between Kristen McNamara and Jenn Korbee.

Jenn sounded ok on “Not Ready to Make Nice”, but Kristen blew her away vocally with her “I Will Always Love You.” Of course, in Simon’s mind, the decision came down between “the attractive blonde” or “the other one.” I’m not entirely naïve. I know that Simon and Co. are looking for someone who looks like a star in addition to sounding like one (and I realize Kristen looked like a white hot mess last night, going from two to three-toned hair), but I still find comments like that inappropriate from someone who’s in a position of authority and I just find them personally distasteful. Simon’s proved that he’s smarter than that.

So what’d you think of this episode? Who were you disappointed to see miss the cut? Finally, who are you most looking forward to seeing in the semifinals?