You know a “Top Model” episode is subpar when “America’s Next Top Recap” favorite Benny Ninja is overshadowed by the likes of Lil Mama.(I mean, honestly — did he even once command anyone to “pose” last night?)
The girls met up with Benny just before the week’s challenge, in which the contestants would be showing off their dance “skills.”
Back at the house, we’d found out Kara thinks Nicole is “slow” based largely on the fact that Nicole speaks slowly. We also learned from Ashley that being in the bottom 2 sucks. (Be more unoriginal!)
Sorry if I’m a little rough on Ashley, but at that point I was completely over her. She seems like a nice, bright girl, but she’s WAY to whiny about every single thing (or at least she’s edited that way) and always seems to be complaining (whether it’s about Erin during the Wal-Mart challenge, Lulu being sent home, Tyra asking her to try too many different poses etc.)
I thought (and so did Ashley) that a dancing challenge would be right in the dance instructor’s wheelhouse – until we learned the girls would be working in groups of three to convey “sadness”, “happiness” and “anger” in a routine. The best part for me was actually the segment before the challenge actually started where Benny asked a couple of models to convey the emotions on their own. Sundai was asked to convey “sadness” and came up with a truly pathetic display. (Was that the Cabbage Patch?) To be fair, the dance WAS sad, but I don’t think that’s what they were asking for.
After a quick demo by Jabbawockeez, the teams — Ashley/Erin/Nicole, Jennifer/Kara/Rae, Sundai/Laura/Brittany — went off to work on the routines for an hour. Jennifer/Kara/Rae seemed to bond instantly, so it wasn’t difficult to predict their win (earning them $17,000 worth of jewelry — why not $18,000 or $16,000?!)
It also wasn’t difficult to guess Ashley/Erin/Nicole would be a disaster. My highlights from the routines included Sundai/Laura/Brittany’s mimed Double Dutch to convey happiness (I don’t care what Lil Mama says, I liked it), and Nicole doing a bad Jabbawockeez impersonation by staring down the audience members at the end of her team’s “anger” phase. Other than that, the most entertaining parts were Lil Mama’s barely-hidden disgust throughout some of the routines.
The models (the noun, not the verb) were getting some shut-eye before a truly creepy video of Mr. Jay woke them up and commanded them to board a plane to Las Vegas. There they entered a theatre for Cirque du Soleil’s “Mystere” and were met by Mr. Jay wearing only slightly more makeup than usual as a ringmaster.
He notified them the week’s photo shoot would involve the girls posing in groups of three with a trio of “Mystere” performers on a giant trapeze. (I guess they couldn’t find a Wal-Mart on the Vegas strip to sponsor a challenge or photo shoot this week.)
The shoot itself was both rushed and uneventful. Tyra also critiqued the girls as a group, making the panel itself (featuring insightful, 5’6” guest judge Josie Maran) feel a little rushed. (At least Sundai wore another tragic outfit.)
The best photo of the group was the Rae/Brittany/Jennifer combo, which is good for Jennifer because she probably would’ve made a trip to the bottom two otherwise.
I don’t really feel like any of the girls really popped from the overly-busy pictures (which is the challenge), but there were still some strong individual performances. My favorites were fierce, Giselle-like Laura, the simply-fierce Rae and Brittany, who looked like a man (I mean that as a compliment in this context). I thought Erin’s picture was good, but I didn’t like it quite as much as Josie did.
My least favorites were Sundai (who actually had good film, but whose group shot DID look like she was water skiing) Jennifer (I’m just blech on her overall) and Ashley (pictured, center), who came up with her most uninspired picture yet.
Despite the struggle of dancers on this show over the years, Josie brought up the good point that they should be used to looking in mirrors and seeing how their bodies move. Apparently what happens is that dancers realize they should be doing better than they actually are, and wind up getting inside their own heads, resulting in “wah-wah” pictures. (Tyra’s description, not mine.)
This is probably what happened to Ashley, who got kicked out after ending up in the bottom 2 with Kara. Then again, it’s just as likely that Ashley — the girl Tyra discovered in her talk show audience — simply isn’t “Top Model” material. My girlfriend Erica brought up the interesting (and accurate) idea that she seems better suited to being a VJ on MVT or BET (assuming either of those channels still show videos).
So what’d you think of this episode? Is the new Auto-tuned “Top Model” exit song growing on you too? Is it possible that Jabbawockeez are getting a little overexposed? (They were just on the “Dancing with the Stars” results show Tuesday.) Finally, are we model or are we dancer?
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