Dancing with the Stars: Going Solo

So many questions surrounding Bristol Palin as we headed into the semifinals.

Is she the worst dancer to make it as far as the semifinals? (I still say Ty Murray was technically worse, even though you couldn’t help but love the guy.) Will she crack a smile? (Almost!) Would she be the worst dancer to ever make it into the finals?

On a night where the judges seemingly threw almost all their paddles numbered “8” and below into the garbage, I can definitely see it happening.

And after watching Monday night’s performances, I wouldn’t even be outraged. I’ll explain why when we start discussing each couple’s two performances — the first of which required a solo from the Stars — in order of appearance.

Let’s get to it:

Brandy and Maks: I didn’t see Maks and Carrie Ann make nice on last week’s results show, but I was wondering if she was going to pounce on them after their paso doble because, to me, this was CLEARLY THE WORST DANCE OF THE NIGHT. Brandy looked frail, scared and intimidated out there. I get that part of that was by design of the routine, but this performance was mostly uncomfortable to watch since Brandy sometimes reverted back to her tentative, robotic movements. I hate to be Conspiracy Theory Guy, but when I saw the judges give her three 9s, I thought to myself, “Oh yeah, there’s no way the judges are going to take the chance that she gets a lower score than Bristol.” The obnoxious cherry on top was her dedicating this performance (set to Katy Perry’s “Firework”) to all the kids who’ve been bullied. (Oh brother.)

Fortunately, Brandy bounced back brilliantly with a beautiful Argentine tango that featured all the attitude and swagger she desperately tried to convey in the paso. She exuded power while also appearing light as a feather during her lifts. This performance was sensational and deserved the three 10s it got!

Jennifer Grey and Derek: I enjoy watching Jennifer Grey on this show as much as the next guy (though not as much as her husband Clark Gregg, who could be seen joyfully stomping his leg and clapping in the front row during her cha cha cha), but do we REALLY think she was perfect last night. Yes, Jennifer’s solo was the hottest of the night (Bruno would definitely agree), but I don’t think she hit certain parts of the dance as hard as she could have. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not outraged that she got 10s (the way I was outraged that Brandy got 9s for her paso), but I don’t know that I’d have given that a 10.

Same goes for her lovely waltz. Granted, the waltz isn’t known as the most showstopping dance style in the first place. Still, I’m way more ok with this 30 because, since it’s nearly impossible to wow us with a waltz, Derek wisely chose to highlight the beauty and artistry of the dance. (Coupled with his audience-pleasing “Mercy” cha cha cha, Derek had a great night yesterday.)

Bristol Palin (pictured, left) and Mark Ballas: Sure, she wasn’t exactly making the dance floor quake when she stomped on it during the paso doble, but I thought she had her best moments of the season (certainly from a performance standpoint) during this routine. Couple that with her typically solid mechanics (and the fact that she kinda looked like Snooki to me) and you have her best dance. (And straight 9s.)

I was even a fan of her bizarrely-dramatic, “Why So Serious” waltz. As with Jennifer and Derek, Mark probably realized he’s not going to get people on their feet with a waltz, and instead chose to go with a straight-faced, artistic interpretation of the dance which Bristol almost pulled off. Sorry, but Carrie Ann was absolutely right when she noted that her face went in and out of character at different points in the dance. I now realize she was never going to completely throw herself into this show, but based on what I saw last night, I’m encouraged to see that she’s trying to do well and put on a show. (Before this week, I was convinced she wanted to go home…and who knows, she still might.)

Kyle Massey and Lacey: What the hell does Kyle have to do to get a 10 from Len? I’m shocked Lacey didn’t pull one of her patented stank faces (featured prominently in the early parts of this episode) after the notoriously-cranky middle judge denied them of a perfect score twice. I had no idea what song they were dancing to during their first-round samba, but I was bopping my head and body along with it anyway, which means Kyle was doing a great job of making me feel his performance.

His “Jai-ho” tango could’ve been a trainwreck, but he brought an impressive amount of swagger to complement his ever-improving technique. Len basically called him the most energetic showman in the show’s history (before withholding another “10”, by the way), which makes me wonder if he can actually win. Out of the three finalists, I think he’s the one most likely to inspire anyone who’s never watched this show to pick up a phone and vote based purely on his performance. Should be an interesting results show tonight. (Nope, still won’t be watching. Sorry.)

So what’d you think of this episode? Are you surprised/annoyed/indifferent that Brandy brought up the fact that she was involved in a car accident that killed a guy? Are you disappointed that Jennifer Grey didn’t bring up her nose job? (Before this show, that was basically her claim to fame for the last 20 years.) Finally, do you think Bristol will make it to the finals? (I think she’s done this week.)