Glee: Holliday In

Even though I’ve been warming up to him lately, Will Schuester is still kind of an ass clown.

That’s why I was pretty happy to see the glee club leader get temporarily sidelined. And in favor of an Oscar winner, no less!

For me, Will at his most likable when he fights for what’s best for the kids. On the other hand, he’s at his absolute worst when he’s putting his own interests ahead of the glee club. That would include staging a musical production to steal someone else’s girlfriend (hello, “Rocky Horror” episode) or forcing his outdated musical tastes on the kids. (I’ll admit I LOL’ed at “There’s GOTTA be a Journey song we haven’t done yet!”)

But out of all the people to come in and take his place…Gwyneth Paltrow?! I’m pleased to report that Paltrow actually kind of killed it as the inappropriate outfit-wearing/Mary Todd Lincoln-impersonating substitute teacher Holly Holliday. Still, although she was pretty strong, Paltrow couldn’t quite help from giving off that indulgent “Ooh, look how cool I am — I’m a respected dramatic actress, so you wouldn’t expect me to be doing this stuff” vibe.

Still, she CLEARLY had a blast, so who am I to begrudge her anything? (We’ll get to her musical “chops” a little later.

Holly was a big hit in the kids with “Glee” club because she let them do whatever they wanted. She later got in trouble with Sue because it turns out that letting a bunch of teenager do whatever they hell they want isn’t a good idea. Who knew?! Still, Will sympathized with her desire to be accepted, and the door is open for the return of Holly Holliday. (Not a porn star nor a drag queen.)

The reason Mr. Schue was out of commission was because of a Sue-orchestrated monkey flu plot that initially took out Principal Figgins, before sidelining Will. It was all part of Sue’s successful power play to become principal. Her first attempt at wielding power, however, failed when coach Beiste pointed out that with no football team, the Cheerios would have no one to cheer for. Why didn’t Sue just have that same girl sneeze on Beiste? (Also, is it just me or is Sue becoming more and more unnecessary to this show from a storyline standpoint? Jane Lynch continues to kill with all her lines, but still…)

Since that didn’t work, Sue decided to take away the school’s tater tots/deep-fried deer poop. (Um, sure…that makes sense…oh wait, this is “Glee”! Nevermind!) That dovetailed into the plot involving lonely Mercedes, who was getting annoyed that Kurt was spurning her to hang out with Blaine and became REALLY incensed when Sue banned tater tots.

To be honest, this plot was so stupid and random (had the words “tater tots” even been uttered by Mercedes on this show before last night? Now she’s obsessed?!) that I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I wish the writers would be a little more creative with their characters’ storylines. Not EVERY Mercedes storyline has to revolve around her appearance. Not EVERY Kurt storyline is required to showcase his struggle with being gay. (Although, I did love Mercedes’ demented hallucination: “I open my mouth and a little purse falls out!”)

The musical performances in “The Substitute” were predictably Gwyneth-centric (you don’t cast an Oscar-winning guest star and put her on the sidelines) and featured a couple of tributes to “Singin’ in the Rain.” Here’s what I tell people about “Singin’ in the Rain”: I don’t know if there’s such a thing as a perfect movie, but I can’t think of a single bad thing to say about it. In short, I adore it.

Keep that in mind when I tear a couple of the performances apart below:

“Forget You”…B-: LOVED the infectious energy from Paltrow and the glee kids in this scene. The only problem is that it didn’t make sense for Holly to be singing this song. (Pick another “Top 40”/current song!) Why would a woman be singing to a man about the “change in my pocket” not being enough? They don’t pay for stuff! This felt like one of the times the show forced a song the producers liked into an episode.

“Make ‘Em Laugh”…C-: This fantasy sequence was a cute tribute and a fine showcase for Matthew Morrison and Harry Shum Jr.’s dancing skills, but ultimately it was a VERY pale imitation of a classic. They just looked silly compared to Donald O’Connor.

“Nowadays”…C+: Rachel continued to be a non-factor this season. Even when it looked like she was going to be the only person to resist Holly’s spell, she eventually caved in. This was a reproduction of the number that closes “Chicago.” It may not have paled as much in comparison as “Make ‘Em Laugh” did to the original, but still…why?!

“Umbrella/Singin’ in the Rain”…B: This was somewhere in between last week’s successful male mash-up and the failure that was the girls butchering two rock classics. Musically it was a bit messy. I was more impressed with the way the music video’s and the movie’s choreography where mashed-up. Also, lavish production numbers like this one is probably why Principal Figgins is always bitching about how there’s no more money for glee club.

So what’d you think of this episode? Was anyone else surprised at themselves for missing Terri or was that just me? Where are the other four black guys at the school? (R.I.P. Matt/Shaft, wherever you are.) Why are the letters “m” and “n” so similar? Finally, didn’t you kind of wish Will’s toddler hallucination went on a little longer? (Or featured a second scene.)