Glee: The Kurt Locker

Chris Colfer is terrific on this show and I like him as an actor, but Kurt gets on my nerves.

I touched on this during my recap of “Grilled Cheesus” last month, but basically I hate that — as was the case in that religion-themed episode — whenever the show tackles a capital-S Serious storyline, the burden is placed on Kurt’s narrow shoulders. I mean, when’s the last time Lea Michele got to play something other than “Rachel is a nerdy, self-involved diva/bitch”? Why don’t we ever delve into whatever Tina’s are (beyond the fake stutter)?

Look, I have a heart and I feel bad that Kurt feels incredibly lonely as the only openly gay character at his high school. However, I’m sure he’s not the only character on this show who feels isolated, so how come we never really get to see that explored in an extended way? What’s more infuriating is that Kurt himself is often quick to criticize and judge others with some snap-tastic quip, but when someone (figuratively) attacks him, he can’t jump on his high horse quickly enough. Again, this is no slam on Colfer — just don’t forget to give us the witty and brave Kurt instead of saddling us with the one who is moralizing the majority of the time.

I thought we were headed down that same road during the latest episode, but fortunately, “Never Been Kissed” had a few surprises up its prep school blazer sleeve.

The attacks on Kurt when from figurative to literal when that nasty bully Karofsky kept violently pushing him against his locker. (Honestly, that last shove looked like it could’ve broken Kurt’s arm.) Mr. Schue had discovered their competition at the upcoming Sectionals featured the Dalton Academy Warblers, so Kurt took it upon himself to check out the competition and wound up checking out de-facto lead singer Blaine (Darren Criss).

So far, Criss is as strong an addition to the show (giving Kurt someone he can relate to) as Jonathan Groff was last year, in the role of “dreamy singer from a rival singing group.” (Even though my girlfriend Erica is more of a Groff girl.) Jesse St. James might be the reason I kept expecting another shoe to drop in regards to the Dalton Academy. I mean, didn’t that place seem a little TOO good to be true? What’s stopping Kurt from transferring there from McKinley High immediately?!

Blaine gave Kurt the strength to finally confront Karofsky in the locker room and Karofsky planted a big wet kiss on Kurt, who looked as shocked as the rest of us. Blaine and Kurt tried to confront Karofsky, but the big oaf went back to his bullying ways. More significantly, the show went from depicting one “stereotypically” gay character who is tortured (Kurt) to having three gay characters, including one who is closeted, and another one who seems to be perfectly well-adjusted. Great job on the diversity.

Of course, whenever “Glee” takes a two steps forward, it can’t help but take two steps back.

I’ll admit that the whole Beiste = cold shower storyline for our horny teenagers was good for some laughs. (Tina? Really?!) However, any point the show tries to make with Beiste (big, bad people like her can still get her feelings hurt and still want to feel pretty) is pretty much undermined by the fact that the writers decided to call her “Beast.” Make up your mind, “Glee” — is Beiste a serious character meant to teach us not to judge a book by its cover or is she a joke? You can’t have it both ways.

At least Will continued his encouraging path toward becoming likable again. To be honest, I was less impressed by his sweet pity kiss to Beiste (a little condescending) than I was by the fact that he told Beiste the truth when she asked him why the glee kids were lashing out on her. The typically wimpy Will would’ve kept that from her until it blew up.

I also really enjoyed the scenes between Artie and Puck, who was back from juvie. He told his parole officer that he’d perform community service by helping a “crip”, which meant he hung out with Artie during this episode (not that he mentored a gang member). Puck offered to make Artie cool and got them a double date with Santana (who we know NEVER says no to Breadstix) and Brittany, who Artie now likes. (I guess he’s over Tina.) Artie drew the line and dining and dashing and the two had a falling out.

Their final scene of the episode, in which Puck finally admitted that he was scared of going back to juvie and tired of people not believing in him, is EXACTLY what I was talking about earlier in this recap. If that had been Colfer/Kurt, he would’ve gotten a whole episode dedicated to that. Puck/Mark Salling had to make do with a strong scene at the end of the episode. I’ll take it.

I almost forgot to mention the second annual boys vs. girls mash-up competition, with each gender tackling songs originally performed by their counterparts. In fact, now is as good a time as any to talk about the musical performances:

“One Love (People Get Ready)”…B+: I’m not really sure why this performance even happened or was included in the episode (Breadstix must be expensive), but it was very appealing. Mark Salling gave off a cool confidence and it was great to hear that Kevin McHale’s voice didn’t get over-produced to within an inch of its life.

“Teenage Dream”….A: Let’s be honest here — improving on a Katy Perry song is not the most challenging task in the world for a singer. (And I actually enjoy this particular song.) Even if that weren’t he case, this would stand as a great performance on its own. The arrangement was good (liked the acapella group leanings) and the choreography was cheesy greatness.

“Start Me Up/Livin’ on a Prayer”…C: The girls looked great (I loved how there was a random wind machine in the music room. However, this mash-up did NOT work for me. These are two songs that people REALLY enjoy a lot and putting them together in this arrangement didn’t give us enough of either of them. (And I haven’t even mentioned the general tinny-ness of all-girl groups.)

“Stop in the Name of Love/Free Your Mind:…A-: Now THIS is a much better example of what a mash-up could yield. The wardrobe and the choreography screamed “Stop…”, but the attitude and swagger was all En Vogue. Also, these songs aren’t as overplayed as the ones in the girls’ mash-up, making it easier to mix them together in a surprising and pleasing way.

So what’d you think of this episode? Can we agree that Mike Chang was much cooler when he didn’t talk? What was up with the bizarre fireplace in Quinn’s house (I’m assuming that’s where they were) when she was making out with Sam? Where can I get a good set of confetti canons? (You clean it up, of course.) Finally, have you ever thrown the baby out with the bathwater? (Brittany has.)