America's Next Top Recap: Just Plane Mean

It seems like forever since I've written a recap for this show.

I feel like I should reassure both of my readers that I haven't give up writing about "Top Model." Still, between my trip to Puerto Rico and last week's always-lame "Top Model Confidential"/waste-of-time clip show that I skipped, it's been almost a month since I've watched an episode of "Model." (I should say a NEW episode of "Top Model", since I got caught up in another MTV marathon this past weekend — it was the cycle Natasha should've won over Jaslene.)

Anyway, since the episode I missed — with the go-sees, Lauren's coffee tantrum, the weird water photo shoot — was widely considered to be kinda terrible, I'm just going to skip right over it. (Still, wasn't it a bit early to have go-sees? I prefer when they wait until the models are in a foreign country and they REALLY get lost. Also, who would pick up Claire's perpetual "Cover Girl of the Week" slack?)

This week's episode (brought to you by 7UP) found the girls lounging around the apartment and recapping their issues in case I'd forgotten. Stacey Ann was worried that she hadn't stood out yet (she's right) and Whitney worried about having to work twice as hard as anyone else being a plus-size model. She's right, but I'm kind of getting sick of her starting every sentence with "Being a plus size model..."

New and unexpected drama came from Fatima's (pictured, left) revelation that she may not be able travel abroad once the show leaves the States because she didn't notify her "consulate" for a "travel visa" in time. I'm using vague terms because this whole situation seemed fishy and, mostly, like a WAY too contrived means of creating drama in a season with no real front-runners/breakout personalities. More on this later.

First, the girls were visited by cosmetics magnate Miss Dubois, played solidly by judge Paulina. She visited the apartment to teach the girls how to conduct themselves during interviews and social situations.

The girls approached Paulina/Miss Dubois and pretended to strike up a conversation with her at a party. Anya oddly asked Dubois about her family, but recovered solidly when she was told they were dead. Stacey Ann, apparently, came off as a bit fake (talking to a fake person, go figure), while Katarzyna offered to refill Dubois' champagne and was dismissed as a waitress (I agreed with this assessment).

Paulina then turned the tables, and interviewed the girls, leading Lauren to blank out, Dominique to blab on and on, and Whitney to be dismissed as too pageanty. The girls were told they'd be attending a 7UP party and walking the green carpet wearing Jay Giorgio dresses.

Only the designer's name was Jay Godfrey (right, Dom?) The other major faux-pas was Lauren casually dropping an s-bomb. Stacey Ann, once again said something of little significance. Meanwhile, Anya charmed her interviewer, Lara Spencer of "The Insider", and Whitney seemed very well poised and confident, even as her breasts threaten to pop right out of her revealing dress.

Inside the party, the judges were not impressed with Stacey Ann's Miami-honed party-going skills, while Lauren surprised everyone (Nigel in particular) with her easy demeanor (contrasting with her stiff appearance at judging panels). In the end, it was Anya and her broken English, which blew everyone away as she flirted with Paulina's boyfriend and charmed everyone in the party.

Personally, I would've given Whitney the prize because I'm a fan, and I think that she was the most natural. The fact that everyone this episode kept throwing around words like "fake" and "pageant" to describe Whitney, mostly seems like the show is already trying to build in an excuse to eliminate the plus-size girl.

Also, Anya's a little too vacant for my taste, sorry. Her second challenge victory rewarded her with another nude photo shoot. However, instead of creepily being photographed on a bed by Nigel, her body was hidden by a bunch of leaves for the lemon-limey shoot and she received $10,000. I'd say this was a slightly better reward (and I was a little surprised the girls weren't more jealous).

In fact, Anya was pretty much the rock star of this episode, as she also dominated the week's photo shoot. The girls were told to pack their bags and go to the airport, thinking they'd be heading abroad. Instead, they were informed the airport was the site for their jet-setting photo shoot, in which they'd pretend to be running for a plane.

Unfortunately, for Fatima, she was forced to miss the photo shoot to clear up her travel situation.

Now, I can buy that Fatima had never watched the show and didn't know that the models always end up in a different country. What I don't buy is that none of the show's producers — during the audition process, or before last night's episode — knew about this or that it could be an issue.

I also wasn't convinced that Tyra — who surprisingly brought the panel to the airport — wasn't notified of Fatima's situation beforehand and that she wouldn't be participating in the shoot. Her incessant roasting of Fatima was too much, but not surprising, since anyone who watches this show knows that Tyra loves to make girls cry.

As for the photo — Anya and Lauren were the best. Dominique had her best shot yet. I actually liked Whitney's shot, and Stacey Ann, as usual, was just kind of there.

In the end, Stacey Ann's shot was beaten out by Fatima's blank piece of photo paper. It's probably not a good sign that I agree with this decision. Fatima has MUCH MORE potential than Stacey Ann and, after torturing Fatima so much, there was no way they were going to kick her off.

In one last touch of cruelty, the girls were told the private jet was for the judges — the "stars" of the show — and that they would be flying commercial to Rome. I get that they wanted to do a fakeout, but calling themselves "stars" came off a bit too conceited.

Anyway, what'd you think of this episode? Did you think for a minute that Fatima wouldn't be going to Rome after all the fuss they kicked up? Is Anya the clear front-runner? Finally, am I the only one that didn't know 7UP was still around? (I thought everyone had switched to Sprite or Sierra Mist.)