Well that was certainly an action-packed episode of "Dancing with the Stars."With six celebrity contestants left — three males, three women (how perfectly neat — not that I'm implying this show is fixed AT ALL) — some competitors put on some of their best work, some were overscored and some were underscored.
If you don't think that ABC and the show's producers are angling for a Jason Taylor/Kristi Yamaguchi finals, I don't know what show you've been watching.
How else to explain the nearly tragic underscoring of both of Mario's dances last night. This is the same guy who got a 27 last week and found himself in the bottom two. Obviously, it's someone the fans haven't warmed to for whatever reason (he's too young and people think the competition is easy for him, people just don't like Karina) and the show seems to want him out of there as soon as possible.
Which is a shame, because I thought he was RIGHT THERE with Kristi and Jason as the best overall performer last night. The judges slamed his fox trot for not being elegant when I thought he oozed elegance and smoothness and told him that Latin dancing was more his style. So after whipping out a frenetic and extremely challenging (and red-hot) mambo, the judges praised him, but stopped short of showing him some "10" love.
This just in — the judges (or Len at least) DO have paddles below the number 9 available for use when Kristi dances as evidenced by DANCMSTR slapping her with two eights for her waltz and cha cha cha. After a rehearsal package on an ice rink that thrilled my girlfriend Erica and millions of other Yamaguchi fans by allowing us to see her skate (if only for a bit), she decided to up the difficulty level a bit, by performing a lovely waltz with a sparkly umbrella in her hand for the first 20 seconds or so. Since she's so technically perfect and is not a person that HAS to resort to props (*cough* Corolla), I like that she did it anyway. Len? Not so much.
The Brit was still cranky during her upbeat and entertaining cha cha cha, nsisting that there wasn't enough cha cha cha (I sort of agree with this point) and too much boogaloo hip-hop. Thankfully, Tom jumped in before he said something REALLY racist.
Methinks, the judges collectively decided to bring Kristi back to the pack a bit and make Jason look like a legitimate contender for this season's crown (which, if you read this column, you know I think he is).
Fortunately, he backed this up with some good dancing (and mild posing) last night. Both his quickstep and his paso doble were frenetic and immensely entertaining. The quickstep included paper tossing and (thankfully) enough content to earn Jason two 10's, while the paso doble, awesomely set to the "Monday Night Football" team, and featuring Edyta in Dolphins gear (hoodie included!) was the hottest of hot messes. The dancing wasn't nearly as good as it was in his first routine, but the sheer chessiness and showmanship captured what this show is about more than any other dance this season.
Hopefully, now that someone (Jason) finally overtook Kristi in the overall standings (by a whole point!) the show will stop painting her as a dancing machine that has to be slain (did I really just use "slain" in a column?)
All of that and I haven't even mentioned the sad case of Cristian de la Fuente (pictured, right, with Cheryl Burke). To be honest, I didn't really care for the guy in the beginning, but with a few solid ballroom performances in the past week (and his adorable daughter in this week's rehearsal footage), I've warmed on the guy. Which made his muscle cramp during his samba such a shame. You could see how devastated (and a little embarrassed) he looked.
As far as his dancing, I thought that his waltz was a little sleepy and plain and his samba (before the injury) was a bit too reminiscent of the old, mediocre Cristian (but with better hip action). In some perverse way, I think his injury will help him by encouraging his fans to vote and bring him back (which is good because he deserves to come back).
That means, if Mario doesn't get the boot that either Marissa or Shannon is going home. I hope it's not Marissa because she's gotten better each of the last three weeks (who else can say that?) She was a huge disappointment to me earlier in the season, but after toning down the spazziness and (hello) improving the dances, I've started pulling for her.
Her tango was sharp and impressive and, as Len said, her. best.dance., and her rumba was a little slow and sleepy with not enough hip action. Then again, I think every rumba is a little slow and sleepy. I wish the judges would explain exactly what they want out of a rumba.
Finally, there's Shannon and Derek, who were coming off a mini-meltdown in which they got all in the judges faces for being too hard on Shannon for her lack of hip action and, in Derek's words, not pointing out the heel leads and janky lines of other couples (Ok, he probably didn't say "janky", but he was thinking it.)
It would've been nice if Shannon had danced a little better to back that up. After yet another rehearsal package in which they acted like a couple (this time, bickering instead of lovey dovey), Shannon actually turned in a fun tango that was a little on the stiff side, but one of my favorite performances of the evening. There were a few mistakes, but the two were definitely invested in their characters, which is crucial in the tango.
Too bad, she had to come out and do such a crappy job on their mambo, which was the worst dance of the evening. And, yes, I'm saying it's even worse than Cristian's, in which he had to stop due to injury. Shannon was back to her old gangly self, hopping awkwardly all over the place. The judges inexplicably gave her straight eights, when that dance was screaming "7"! I guess they were mesmerized by her fake butt and "fake everywhere", according to Shannon.
So what'd you think of this episode? If he's able to perform, does Cristian deserve to be back next week? Why was Mark wearing a military uniform during his waltz with Kristi? Are the judges underscoring Mario or scoring him right where he should be? Finally, who do you think is going home? (I'm going with Shannon)
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