Project Runway Rundown: Gang Green

After a somewhat underwhelming premiere, I was looking forward to this week's episode of "Project Runway," hoping I might get to know and warm up to a few of the designers we hastily met last time out.

Unfortunately, this week's installment basically reinforced how annoying most of the people who are getting significant screen time really are. This was hammered home when, less than a minute in, Suede referred to himself in the third person (and it would be far from the last time).

Heidi brought all the designers together to remind them that this was also a competition for the models. She actually reminded me too, because I'd forgotten, since this is the portion of the program I care about the least.

Then again, the models would play a major role in this week's challenge — they were the clients for whom the designers would be creating a cocktail dress using environmentally friendly (or "green" fabric). Also, in a "Project Runway" first, the models would be the ones shopping for the material.

I have mixed feelings about this challenge. I was glad to see not every challenge this season would be a retread of past challenges. On the other hand, I wasn't really too thrilled to see "Project Runway" hop on the "going green" bandwagon. I don't have anything against the environment, but, to me, (and my non-HD TV) the "green" fabrics didn't look any different to me than regular fabrics. I realize it was probably a greater challenge for the designers to work with that material, but it wasn't really that interesting for me to watch. To this straight guy's eye, it just looked like they were designing a cocktail dress with regular fabric. To me, a more interesting "green challenge" would've been to have them create a cocktail dress just using the color green.

Of course, none of this stopped the designers from griping in the workroom, with Jerrell and Stella duking it out for the bitch of the night award early on. Jerrell, who was feeling "salty," worried (for no reason, it turns out) that his model would come back with terrible fabric while Stella was wishing she could work with leather (she must be a big Tori Amos fan) and dreading that her model/client wanted something flowy. Meanwhile, Wesley was wearing a sweater around his shoulders during his confessionals for extra prep.

Not surprisingly, most of the designers were unhappy with their models unimaginative choices, but went to work anyway. When Stella basically decided to ignore her model's wishes and make something fitted, I was sure she'd be up for elimination again.

Elsewhere, Blayne dubbed Heidi Darth Vader/ Darth Licious because she's crazy on the inside, but outside she's all put-together. The comment also gave Blayne a commanding lead for the Lamest Attempt at Humor Award for the year surpassing, well, no one really. I'm giving him the award right now. This guy's trying WAY too hard to be a reality TV personality. Although, I will say when he made light of Stella's leather obsession he came close to making me laugh for the first time on purpose.

He's got solid competition from Suede who was busy tediously cutting strips of his material, but still found time to refer to himself in the third person more times than I care to count. Bravo TV's poll asked which designer had the craziest quirk — Blayne's Tanorexia, Stella's leather fetish, or Suede's third person thing — I was hoping for a fourth option that let me vote for "None of those are 'crazy', they're just incredibly irritating."

Tim's visit was highlighted by his praising of Korto's dress before realizing it wasn't inside out and calling it a hot mess. That — along with the return of the word "caucus" — was my favorite moment of his in a surprisingly Gunn-light episode.

When it was announced that someone from young Hollywood would be the guest judge, I worried it would be someone from "The Hills" because, unfortunately, that's what "young Hollywood" means these days. At least the show still proved it has excellent taste when Oscar-nominated/environmentally-aware/gangsta-rapping actress Natalie Portman ("Where the Heart Is") showed up.

The runway show began and, for the second week in a row, it was difficult for me to get into because there are just way too many damn people right now. That means worthy dresses (like Terri's and Emily's) got ignored, while at least one fugly dress (Jennifer's) caught a lucky break.

The top three were Kenley, Suede and Stella, while the bottom three were Korto, Wesley and Leann. Stella definitely won the most improved award, despite the fact that Natalie "I don't care for asymmetrical design" Portman clearly didn't like it. I was impressed by her ability to strike a balance between her aesthetic and pleasing the client. Kenley impressed the judges with her personality and design, but I liked her flower-like dress better when Daniel Vosovic made it in Season 2. So Suede won, and I have to say I agree — that guy put a ton of work into his garment and made it look easy. The bad news is we have to put up with this guy for another week.

Korto and her fish dress were safe based on her good work last week, so it came down to Wesley and Leann. I was sure Leann would get the boot since her model was the only one to sort of throw her under the bus when asked if she liked her garment. However, Nina Garcia said, "shiny, tight and short is the quickest way to look cheap." All three applied to Wesley's design, while two out of the three applied to his shorts. Buh bye.

So what'd you think of this episode? How did all the designers know all of the models names when they were picking them? (I guess the same way Howie Mandel knows all the models names on "Deal or No Deal.") Is there anyone out there who actually, seriously thinks it's a good idea to refer to themselves in the third person? Do you like ANY of these people? Finally, Suede is a bisexual — riiiight.