Project Runway Rundown: NYC at Nite

I hate to sound like a grouch, but, three episodes in, I'm just not feeling this season of "Project Runway.

Season 5 just seems like it's stuck on neutral with not enough people standing out. Unfortunately, the ones that HAVE broken through have done so for all the wrong reasons. I don't even care if this seems like an exact replica of my complaints following the season premiere — if Suede can go back to the "Suede rocked it" well again, why can't I? (Honestly, I'm not convinced that wasn't reused footage from last week).

All I know is that, by this point, last year, I already liked Chris March, Sweet P., Kit Pistol, Jack (and I was a few weeks away from warming up to Christian Siriano and cooling off on Rami). With this crop of designers, um, I guess one of the white girls is ok. Terri seems like she'd be fun to hang out with. Joe seems like a relatively sane human being. Daniel seems ok, as he expressed sadness over his dearly departed Wesley, because the two had bonded. Huh? Since Wesley probably got 25 seconds of screen time in two episodes, I'm assuming most of this "bonding" took place out of the camera's view. And by bonding, I mean boinking.

One person I most certainly am not warming up to is Blayne. I tried to give the dude a chance this week, but he crapped all over my potential goodwill as soon as he opened the door to greet Tim Gunn, and called him "Tim-licious." Agent Orange went on creep Kenley out in the workroom by staring at her and claiming he was going to eat her. Ok, maybe this guy really IS this wacky, but his antics still reek of "I wanna be a TV star" desperation.

Tim (wearing a fantastic coat) told the designers they'd be going to a NYC hotspot — leading to the usual customary (and wildly inaccurate) speculation (this time by Jerrell — before notifying they that they'd be taking a trip on a blue double decker bus and scouring NYC for inspiration.

Of course, this challenge instantly reminded me of the Season 2 task that had the designers walking around New York for inspiration, but that one took place during the day, so it was totally different (right?!) For extra fun, since this shoot was at night (taking pictures when it's dark is a bitch), we were treated to a few blurry, dizzying images (Terri's made my eyes hurt). Not the best advertisement for that digital camera, which I'm assuming is the reason Tim didn't pimp it while he was introducing the challenge.

The designers were dropped off in groups at Columbus Circle, Times Square, The New York Public Library and Greenwhich Village. Highlights included Stella struggling to work her camera (probably because it's not made out of leather), a lot of pictures of grungy crap that can be found in almost any major city (although New York DOES have more neon), and almost nothing from the NY Public Library group.

We also had Keith (pictured, right), the one person I felt I had a chance of liking this season, stomping around the city with a bad attitude. That wasn't even what disqualified him from me liking the guy this week — it was his "I'm not here to make friends" crack, which is completely overplayed and should earn him a spot here. Oh well, at least he's still the hot one, according to my girlfriend Erica (and everyone else who's watched the show this season). Personally, I agree, but I think he can probably do without the stupid patch of hair on the back of his head.

In the workroom, the designers were busy trying to make magic out of their pictures. I thought Leann was an early frontrunner for her terrific skirt, which she went on to match with a black top. Everyone else, not so much. Joe commented that Kenley's garment looked a bit too "Ft. Lauderdale" (ooh snap, he didn't even say "Miami"), while Jennifer's dress was deemed matronly.

Then Tim Gunn stopped by and the real fun started. After expressing concern that Emily's dress was nothing more than a black dress with a giant corsage over it (foreshadowing), Blayne and Terri decided today would be a good time to introduce Tim Gunn to the phrase, "holla at cha boy" (Not "holler at your boy") Tim Gunn is the absolute best part of the middle portion of these episodes in the workroom because he has absolutely no idea how cool he is.

After a little more drama involving Keith — he found out that his model had to drop out of the competition, and this was a big deal for exactly two seconds — it was time for the runway show.

I love that this program can go from having an Oscar-nominated and well respected actress as a judge one week, and then a "New York City nightlife aficionado" the next. Don't get me wrong because I'm not dissing Sandra Bernhard, who had my favorite reality show title since "charity and campaign worker, Heather Mills."

The judges picked Kenley (sorry Joe), Terri, and Leann for their top three, while choosing Emily, Keith and Jennifer for the bottom three. Blayne (who basically made a louder version of Emily's dress) and Stella (a fugly leather ensemble) should probably thank the editors for showcasing them so much, making them popular and keeping them out of the bottom three.

The judges' winner was Kenley, which I found to be a completely boneheaded decision. I know Michael Kors liked the poofy "80's power bitch" skirt, but Terri's garment (which could protect you from a mugger in a dark alley, according to Bernhard) and Leann's two-piece ensemble (which REALLY looked like one dress) were miles ahead. Leann wuz robbed.

On the other side, the judges killed Keith for his "toilet paper caught in a windstorm" dress (which I kinda liked, though there WAS a body shape issue), but gave him pass. That left Emily's lame black dress with a salmon corsage and Jennifer's frumpy, too-literal dress, with Emily being sent home for being boring. And for designing an ugly dress. But mostly for being boring.

So what'd you think of this episode? Who's your favorite so far? What is the difference between Leann and Jennifer? Finally, will Joe ever wear anything other than a black T-shirt and blue jeans? Holla at cha boy!