NFL 2008 Week 17 Picks

Merry Christmas Eve eve!

Since I (hopefully) won't be touching a computer during the Christmas holiday, I thought I'd try to sneak in my picks for the final week of the regular season today.

With the very real possibility that two 8-8 teams (San Diego and Arizona) will go the playoffs, it was only fitting I followed suit with last week's picks (8-8 week, 148-91-1 overall). Before I go on to make embarrassing playoff picks, let's see if I can finish the regular season strong.

ST. LOUIS @ ATLANTA
How likable is this Atlanta team? They're a division rival who handed my favorite time a backbreaking loss two weeks ago, but even I'm rooting for the Falcons at this point.

NEW ENGLAND @ BUFFALO
You know how I've been saying that Buffalo can't beat anyone good? Well last week they beat Denver! Unfortunately, that says more about the Broncos than it does about Buffalo.

KANSAS CITY @ CINCINNATI
Don't you just love it when crappy teams try! (Unless of course they're playing your favorite team.) I HAVE to go with the Bengals because the Chiefs are on a truly unprecedented run of blowing winnable games.

DETROIT @ GREEN BAY
For some reason I'm hearing a lot less "the Lions CAN'T go 0-16" talk. I guess people have actually gotten around to watching them.

TENNESSEE @ INDIANAPOLIS
If you always wanted to know whether the Titans or the Colts have the better backups, you should definitely tune in.

N.Y. GIANTS @ MINNESOTA
The Vikings playoff hopes potentially rest on the right arm (and uncontrollably-scrambling feet) of Tarvaris Jackson. That's scarier than "The Exorcist", "The Shining" and "Halloween" put together.

CAROLINA @ NEW ORLEANS
Will Drew Brees break Dan Marino's single season passing yard record? I'm guessing no, since the Panthers need this game to win the division and they will run the ball and control the clock. However, I want to take this space to thank Drew Brees (pictured, left) for carrying both of my fantasy football team to the playoffs, including a championship loss, and (almost) inspiring me to overpay for a Brees jersey.

CLEVELAND @ PITTSBURGH
The Browns haven't scored an offensive touchdown in five games and they play the best defense in the league. I wouldn't blame Romeo Crennel for sleeping through this one.

CHICAGO @ HOUSTON
On the flip side of the fantasy coin, I'd like to thank the Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson for single-handedly killing my fantasy team in the finals. Seriously, guys? You let the Raiders shut you down completely? Of course, now that nothing is on the line, I expect them to light it up again.

OAKLAND @ TAMPA BAY
Not that they actually deserve to go to the playoffs after losing three straight games, but I think the Bucs will get there after...

DALLAS @ PHILADELPHIA
...the Eagles beat the Cowboys. Both of these teams are coming off heartbreaking losses. Actually, only the Eagles' loss was really heartbreaking as they came within a few inches of the goal line. On the other hand, the Cowboys loss wasn't so much heartbreaking as it was humiliating. So, it's the perfect time to announce that your doofus of a coach is safe. Huh?

JACKSONVILLE @ BALTIMORE
It's nice to see that Jacksonville didn't COMPLETELY quit on their season, as they've played hard the last few weeks. Unfortunately, the Ravens are also playing hard — and they're a LOT better.

WASHINGTON @ SAN FRANCISCO
So apparently the Niners are wearing throwback jerseys AND growing throwback mustaches to honor past San Francisco legends. Love. It.

MIAMI @ N.Y. JETS
I just HAVE to believe that the Jets can't possibly be as sorry as they've looked the past couple of weeks the same way I didn't believe they were as good as everyone was making them out to be a few weeks ago.

SEATTLE @ ARIZONA
The 2008 Arizona Cardinals — worst playoff team ever? Discuss.

DENVER @ SAN DIEGO
How can you not like San Diego, seeing as how they have their health and all the momentum in their favor? Also, is it possible that I'm picking San Diego as some sort of reverse jinx just to irk the touchy, front-running Chargers fans? Absolutely!

John's Top 10 Christmas Movies

I love Christmas.

I know it's not exactly an original thought, but I love this time of year. I love that the weather gets noticeably cooler (though never, EVER truly cold like what my poor dad has to endure in Minnesota). I love the spirit of sharing and being kinder to those around you. I also love the gifts — giving and receiving — though I'm more of a giver (that's what she said).

I also love movies, which I'm sure comes as a huge shock to anyone who's met me. I figured this would be as good a time as any to unveil my list of favorite Christmas flicks.

A feel I should mention a few quick points. For the first 13 years of my life I lived in Puerto Rico, which means, unlike almost everyone I've met since I've moved to the States, I wasn't steeped in American Christmas culture. I don't know the words to any Christmas carols (that's me in the back of the crowd awkwardly pretending to mouth the words to "Silent Night"). However, if you're planning on organizing a parranda, count me in. I also didn't watch "It's A Wonderful Life" or "Miracle on 34th Street" every year (and I inexcusably haven't bothered to watch them in the last decade, sorry) so those and other Christmas "classics" won't be showing up on the list.

I also went ahead and decided to keep the list to feature films and exclude the numerous (and enjoyable) standard made-for-TV Christmas specials. Sorry, Frosty, Rudolph, Charlie Brown and others.

Finally, I tried to not stretch as much as possible and keep the list to movies where Christmas is a prevalent theme. Unfortunately, this excludes movies (like Edward Scissorhands) that merely depict a Christmas celebration for a minor portion of a film's running time.

Ok, I'm tired of writing this intro. Before we get to the list, let's get some quick awards out of the way.

MOVIE I KINDA ENJOY THAT EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TO HATE

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000): Yes, it's WAY over-the-top, and yes, I realize that the very nature of this excessive, big budget blockbuster goes against Dr. Seuss' message about the true Christmas spirit, but this movie just cracks me up. More specifically, Jim Carrey is a hoot (or a who-ot? Sorry) as the Grinch. Also, the Oscar-winning makeup job for Carrey's Grinch holds up remarkably well almost a decade later. Finally, Taylor Momsen as Cindy Lou Who is adorable and gave no indication she'd go on to star in "Gossip Girl."

MOVIE I KINDA HATE THAT EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TO ENJOY

A Christmas Story: Ok, so "hate" is a strong word. I just don't get it. This movie is ok. I don't really understand why it's been elevated to "classic" status and why TBS shows it for 24 hours straight. Actually, if the alternative is watching "Frank TV" or "House of Payne", I'll take this movie.

MOVIE NO ONE SAW THAT I KINDA ENJOY

P2: Please don't let there be any confusion. This movie — starring Wes Bentley as an unstable security guard who holds a woman (Rachel Nichols) hostage in a parking garage on Christmas Eve — is not good. But as far as low-rent horror movies go, this one's pretty enjoyable, mostly due to Bentley's, um, interesting performance. It's second on this list, so I'm guessing not too many people have seen it.

Ok, enough messing around, let's get to the list, in descending order:

THE TOP 10

10. The Muppet Christmas Carol: This one isn't higher on the list because this movie is definitely more of a tradition for my girlfriend Erica and her entire family. I've only actually seen it once, but I wanted to recognize it because it's the best Muppets movie. My favorite part is how Oscar winner Michael Caine never seems to realize or care that he's acting with puppets (most stars who share the screen with the Muppets always play it a little too cutesy and self-aware) and just BRINGS it as Ebenezer Scrooge.

9. Elf: Before deciding to only make terrible sports comedies, Will Ferrell starred in this charming holiday movie about a human who was raised by elves and comes to New York to find his family. I love Ferrell's winning performance and his "Baby It's Cold Outside" duet with Zooey Deschanel. Out of every Christmas movie released in the last decade, this has the best chance of becoming a family holiday staple.

8. Bad Santa: Out of every Christmas movie released in the last decade, this one probably has the worst chance of becoming a family holiday staple. Of course, that was never the point with this cynical and hilarious story about a pair of thieves who rob malls by working as a mall Santa Claus and his elf. It's endlessly quotable and features funny work by Billy Bob Thornton, Lauren Graham, Tony Cox, Bernie Mac and John Ritter.

7. The Nightmare Before Christmas: Probably the only movie that would fit in as well on a "Best Christmas" and "Best Halloween" movie list. This Tim Burton-produced animated flick — about Halloweentown resident Jack Skellington bringing his sensibility to Christmas — has the director's trademark dark humor and gothic style, but also features a few memorable songs and impressive stop motion animation that holds up more than a decade later.

6. The Ref: Before "Bad Santa" there was "The Ref" to let us know that Christmas isn't always a time of good cheer. Denis Leary is a thief who takes a bickering married couple hostage before eventually realizing that he's the real prisoner when the couple's family shows up for a hellacious family gathering. Laugh (and cringe) at your own risk.

5. Scrooged: Bill Murray stars as a modern-day Scrooge of a TV executive in this smart update of "A Christmas Carol". I think this is his most underrated comedic performance and I think you should watch if only to remember a time when Bill Murray actually made comedies. (Seriously, Bill, I like that you're stretching as an actor, but enough with the downbeat, depressing dramas.)

4. Home Alone: This isn't hard to figure out. I was exactly Kevin McCallister's (Macaulay Culkin) age when this movie came out in 1990 and I definitely wasn't the only eight year old who fantasized about rigging his house with impossibly elaborate booby traps and outsmart a pair of bumbling burglars. This one still makes me laugh and is still sneakily touching (you go homeless guy with the shovel!) Also, Home Alone 2 isn't that bad.

3. Die Hard: Before you gripe about this not being a real Christmas movie, hear me out. It's set on Christmas Eve (which is crucial to the plot since it explains why the Nakatomi building was mostly empty), features a couple of favorites on the soundtrack, and has a memorable Christmas-related quote ("Now I have a machine gun, ho-ho-ho.") Also, our hero John McClane (Bruce Willis) even used a piece of Christmas wrapping tape to strap a gun to his back and save the day (and his wife). Now it's your turn to tell me how this ISN'T a Christmas movie. (Ok, I really do get that it's not a traditional Christmas movie, which is why it's not higher on this list.)

2. Love Actually: I get that Christmastime is supposed to be about family, but why aren't there more good Christmas romantic comedies (that aren't Lifetime movies)? Although the pickings are pretty slim, I still think "Love Actually" stands out in a fantastic way, thanks to a stellar cast (Hugh Grant, Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Bill Nighy, etc.) In fact, the cast might be a little too big. (Did we need the porn movie stand-ins?) Still, this is one of my favorite romantic comedies AND one of my favorite Christmas movies.

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: Yes, in 2008 a Chevy Chase movie is 1 in something! It's a Christmas miracle! Seriously though, this was the first Christmas movie my family and I watched together and it's the one that we've watched (whether we're together or apart) every year since. It hits all the right notes about the trouble with Christmas decoration (that humongous tree, the obscene amount of lights) family (cousin Eddie, and the hilarious older family members) and squirrels. It's just as relevant today as it was 19 years ago, and I have a feeling that it will be just as relevant 20 years from now.

So what'd you think of this list? You got a problem with any of my selections? (If so, please be nice). Any Christmas movies you enjoy that I left out of the list or that I should check out? Let's hear 'em.

Random Thought of the Moment: Control Your Own Destiny Edition

It's late December and that means two things:

(Actually, it means a lot of things, but for the purpose of this blog posting, it means two things, ok?)

1.) The holidays — whichever one(s) you celebrate — are upon us and 2.) the NFL season is coming to a close.

Fortunately, with the help of increasingly unimaginative and cliché-loving NFL announcers you can combine these two facts into a fun and potentially-dangerous drinking game.

See, with the final week of the NFL season upon us and a few playoff spots still up for grabs, more than a few teams (Miami, Dallas) "control their own destiny." There's an even greater number of teams (Tampa Bay, New England, N.Y. Jets, Philadelphia, Chicago) who don't "control their own destiny." I know this because (I swear I'm not exaggerating) Boomer Esiason (pictured, far right with the rest of the CBS studio team) used the phrase "control their own destiny" 15 times in one minute during this past Sunday's Subway postgame show. Even my girlfriend Erica got annoyed to the point that she was ready to throw something at our TV.

So whether you're depressed around this time of year or you just want to get a good buzz going, turn to ESPN, Fox Sports or your preferred sports network and take a shot of eggnog (or your preferred adult beverage) every time an announcer talks about a team "controlling their own destiny."

(Then again, I don't want any of my readers to spend this week in the hospital due to alcohol poisoning, so maybe you should just ignore this post. Don't drink and drive — control your own destiny.)

NFL 2008 Week 16 Picks:

Coming off my fantasy football playoffs high, I (over)shot for a 16-0 mark with my picks last week. I obviously came up well short (9-7 week, 140-83-1 overall), but I’m not going to let that discourage me.

Let’s just get to the part where I pick this week’s games and I ask you to root for my Yahoo Sports Fantasy team. Don’t judge me, there’s a $350 pot at stake and poppa needs to pay his bills!

INDIANAPOLIS @ JACKSONVILLE
It was nice to see that Jacksonville actually hadn’t given up on the rest of the season (despite all the evidence to the contrary). They also beat the Colts in Indy earlier this year, but the Colts need one more win to get into the playoffs and I think they get it tonight.

BALTIMORE @ DALLAS
I think Dallas wins this game and definitively convinces everyone that they’re a legit Super Bowl contender (that defense IS fierce). It should also put the Cowboys in line for another glorious playoff meltdown. (Sorry, but I just don’t see this guy “leading” ANY team to a Super Bowl.)

CINCINNATI @ CLEVELAND
My goodness — this might be the worst game of the year! The Bengals are actually showing signs of life, while Browns coach Romeo Crennel (pictured, right) hasn’t shown any signs of life since last October.

SAN FRANCISCO @ ST. LOUIS
I mean, it’s better than the dreaded Bengals/Browns game, but not by much.

NEW ORLEANS @ DETROIT
Remember how I rode the Giants wave throughout the middle of the season by just picking them to win every week? Well, the Lions are the bizarro version of that.

PITTSBURGH @ TENNESSEE
I think if Tennessee went all out they could win, but I’m hearing whispers that they may not really care too much about winning this game and losing home field advantage in the playoffs to the Steelers. I’m listening to the whispers and going with the Steelers.

MIAMI @ KANSAS CITY
After last week, I’m done with the Chiefs. The question now isn’t IF they’ll lose, but in what improbably inept way they’ll snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

ARIZONA @ NEW ENGLAND
I hope someone remembers to wake the Cardinals up when the playoffs start.

SAN DIEGO @ TAMPA BAY
The Bucs are back at home where they’re undefeated and where, hopefully, they won’t give up another 600 rushing yards.

HOUSTON @ OAKLAND
Yay! The Texans are doing the thing where they finish a season strong (without the pressure of competing for a playoff spot, of course) and get idiots like me fired up about their prospects for the following season. Assholes! (Actually, if Andre Johnson and/or Matt Schaub could drop another 40 point fantasy week for my title game, all is forgiven.)

BUFFALO @ DENVER
Buffalo can’t beat anyone that’s any good and Denver is, um, good(?) I just flipped a coin and decided that Denver is good(ish).

N.Y. JETS @ SEATTLE
Since everyone is sort of expecting the Jets to trip over themselves on their way to the playoffs and lose this week, I actually think they’ll pull this one out. By the way, if you needed proof that Pro Bowl voters don’t actually watch the games, look no further than Brett Favre’s Pro Bowl selection. I mean, have you WATCHED the guy play the past month?

ATLANTA @ MINNESOTA
One more win and Vikings fans will officially convince themselves that Tarvaris Jackson can win a playoff game. I can’t wait.

PHILADELPHIA @ WASHINGTON
I’d like to believe that the Redskins have SOME pride and won’t completely lie down for the rest of the season, especially to a hated divisional opponent at home. Of course, I’d probably like to believe this because I have Clinton Portis on my fantasy team.

CAROLINA @ N.Y. GIANTS
I guess people were just being too nice to the Giants and they had nothing to rebel against. Now that everyone’s telling them that they’re no good, don’t be surprised to see them rip off four straight wins and get to the Super Bowl.

GREEN BAY @ CHICAGO
What the hell happened to you, Packers? I thought only Favre moved on to the N.Y. Jets — I didn’t realize your entire defense had moved on too.

Heroes: Not-So-Super "Villains"

I realize a lot of people (myself included) have been pretty tough on the last couple of volumes in the "Heroes" saga.

But after watching last night's conclusion to "Villains", can you really blame us? Basically, everything got (literally) burned to the ground and almost every major character introduced this season ended up dead (consider yourself lucky, Daphne). Even the show's writers seem to be acknowledging this show needs a completely fresh start.

It especially needs a fresh start after this scalding hot (even hotter than an adrenaline-fueled Meredith) mess of a finale.

Where should we start? Ok, why not start with the whole ridiculousity of Sylar turning Primatech into a deathtrap for Claire, H.R.G., Angela and Meredith (who conveniently rejoined the action last night). Sylar's mission was to turn them into monsters, the same way he'd been turned into a monster by Primatech. Unfortunately, he decided to do this by setting up absurdly elaborate scenarios for each of his captives. Hmm, I thought "Saw VI" didn't come out until NEXT year.

Ok, fine, locking H.R.G in with an adrenaline-charged, out-of-control Meredith (and one bullet to use at his discretion) was pretty clever, since we all knew what H.R.G. would do if it came down to it. Fortunately, Defensive Player of the Year Claire was there to crash through another hard structure and save them. She later went on to stick a piece of broken glass into the back of Sylar's head right after Angela (pictured, left) told the super villain his real parents were still out there.

Of course, this scene would've had more of an impact if I actually believed for a second that Sylar is dead (this is his second death in the last three episodes). The scene that had more of an impact on me was H.R.G. and Claire running away from the fireball as the Primatech building was about to explode. Sure, the impact it had on me was that it almost made me fall out of my couch laughing, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it.

Not to be outdone by its rival burning building, Pinehearst also eventually crumbled after Peter and Nathan failed to come to an agreement regarding the formula. Nathan still wanted to (naively) carry out his father's plans, while Peter (having seen the future) wanted to stop him. This led to Peter punching Nathan out (that nurse hits hard apparently) and teaming up with Knox and Flint to trash the formula. Of course, scaly Mohinder tried to stand in the way and actually chastised Peter for teaming up with sketchy characters. Again, this is Mohinder chastising someone else for joining forces with people of questionable character. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, Knox eventually went after Nathan, before Tracy killed Knox. Nathan thanked Tracy by firing her for being such a scheming snake (the way the Tracy character eventually devolved into a generic power-hungry shrew is a real shame, since she actually had promise). Nathan grabbed a lead pipe from somewhere and kicked some Flint and Peter ass, before Flint simply decided to blow the entire place up. Since Nathan apparently forgot that he could fly, it was up to Peter to inject himself with the formula and fly his brother to safety. In the end, the brothers went their separate ways.

As a teaser for Volume 4, "Fugitives", we see Nathan meeting with the president (Michael Dorn aka Worf from "Star Trek: The Next Generation" — awesome!) and spearheading a campaign to round up people with abilities.

Here's the problem: we've been having visions of a future where people with abilities (including a scarred Peter) are in hiding since season 1 episode "Five Years Gone." If we're only now arriving to this point now, then what exactly was the point of volumes 2 and 3? Volumes 2 and 3 ended up having relatively tidy conclusions to their BIG crises (the Shanti virus and the future where everyone has abilities, respectively), so it just sort of feels like the show has been spinning its wheels the last year or so.

This is especially true when you consider that almost all the deaths in Volume 2 and, especially, Volume 3 feel a lot more like housecleaning than a legitimate way to advance plot. In an earlier recap this season, I joked that the show was trying to erase every shred of evidence that Volume 2 ever happened — well last night, the writers appeared intent on wiping away anything that might remind anyone of Volume 3 next year. It's a shame because I felt that "Villains" got off to a pretty promising start before going off the rails.

So rest in peace, Puppetmaster, Knox (Jaime Hector was wasted in this show — please go watch him in season 5 of "The Wire"), Less-Than-Super Marine, and Arthur (hey, Robert Forster received a credit for appearing in this episode, so why not? Meanwhile, according to the show's logic, Flint and Meredith should've been able to survive their respective explosions since we've been led to believe the fire they produce can't hurt them (like the Human Torch). Of course, I think the show will probably be done with Flint, (because no one cares about him) while there's a small chance they'll bring Meredith back.

(All this carnage and Mohinder STILL gets to live and be picked up by Tracy on the side of the road. Damnit all!)

It wasn't all bad. I actually sort of enjoyed the Hiro/Ando, Matt, Daphne storyline. Ok, I didn't really enjoy the Matt/Daphne part of it, but they were there, so they get lumped in with the positive. Daphne swiped the formula from Mohinder and Ando injected himself only to find out his power was to amplify and supercharge other people's powers. I thought this was kind of perfect — Ando was excited to gain an ability, only to find out his complementary power makes him no more than a super sidekick.

Ando and a super DUPER fast Daphne ran all the way to the past and saved Hiro, who was about to be carved up by his dad after ripping the formula in half. Hopefully the fact that, for now, Ando has powers and Hiro doesn't will make for an interesting dynamic between the two friends in Volume 4.

So what'd you think of this episode? Were you satisfied with the conclusion to "Villains"? Why didn't Hiro just tell his dad the truth when Kaito was attacking him? Finally, "Fugitives" has GOT to be better than Volumes 2 and 3, right?

I'll see you there next year (assuming you haven't stopped watching the show, of course).

Conflict of Interest: Wes Welker/Playoffs edition

Playoffs?! You kiddin' me?! You wanna talk about...playoffs?!

Yes, for the first time in my two seasons playing fantasy football I can talk playoffs since both my teams are in.

Of course that means, I'm facing a team with good players leading to a conflict.

This time it's New England's mighty mite wide receiver Wes Welker who also happens to be the league leader in receptions. While teams are busy double covering teammate Randy Moss, all Welker does is run around the middle of the field and make about 10 catches per game.

I have Welker in my Yahoo Sports league (where I'm playing the 1 seed), and my opponent has him in my NFL.com league (where I'm also the 4 seed). Obviously I'm playing two really good teams, so I'm going to go right down the middle and hope Welker has another Welker-y game.

Dream statline: 10 catches, 125 yards, 0TDs in a win vs. Oakland.

NFL 2008 Week 15 Picks

Excuse me for feeling a bit untouchable.

I'd clinched a playoff spot in my NFL.com league (and my team apparently decided to take the week off and get creamed), but I needed help to make the playoffs in my Yahoo Sports league. I needed to win (which I did) and I needed one of two teams to lose.

After the Sunday games, one of those two teams had won and the other team I needed to lose had a 55 point lead AND Steve Smith (100+ receiving yards and 1TD) on Monday Night Football. Things were NOT looking good. Fortunately (for me!), his opponent had Jeff Garcia (300+ passing yards, 2TDs), Jonathan Stewart (100+ rushing yards, 2TDs) and my new best friend Antonio Bryant (pictured, left, with 200 receiving yards, 2TDs), who all combined for 100 points and helped get me into the playoffs. It was a (three weeks before) Christmas miracle! I think I may have actually let out a Kevin Garnett "ANYTHING'S POSSSIBBBBLLLEEEE!!!"

I excelled only slightly less with my picks (11-5 week, 131-76-1 overall), but, given my extraordinary good fortunate lately, I'm going for 16-0 this week. Why not? After all, ANYTHING'S POSSSIBBBBLLLEEEE!!!!

NEW ORLEANS @ CHICAGO
I want to pick the Saints because Drew Brees is the starting QB on both my fantasy teams and I like to see him and his team play well (they're fun to watch). Of course, the team could do badly and he could still put up great numbers. That's what I see happening tonight. The Saints are a different team on the road — they're a bad team.

TAMPA BAY @ ATLANTA
After getting spanked on national TV by Carolina there's just no way the Bucs DON'T come back this week and kickass, despite the fact that Atlanta is very good at home. Their loss on Monday Night Football was THAT embarrassing.

WASHINGTON @ CINCINNATI
RB Clinton Portis may have sarcastically called head coach Jim Zorn a genius, but it doesn't take a genius to beat the Bengals. Actually, pretty much all you have to do is show up.

DETROIT @ INDIANAPOLIS
So NOW sportscasters are coming around to the idea that the Lions CAN go 0-16. Welcome to reality, fellas.

SAN DIEGO @ KANSAS CITY
I just generally like the Chiefs at home and I think that, despite their best efforts, they won't be able to give this game away the way they've given away about five wins this year.

SEATTLE @ ST. LOUIS
Don't wake the Rams. They've obviously decided to take the rest of the season off and need their beauty sleep.

SAN FRANCISCO @ MIAMI
I like the suddenly-frisky 49ers, but I like Miami even better, especially if they keep winning and "Chad Pennington for MVP" talk heats up.

BUFFALO @ N.Y. JETS
Ok, as bad as the Jets have been the last two weeks, we've established that the Bills can't beat ANYONE who's any good. The 8-5 Jets count as "any good."

TENNESSEE @ HOUSTON
I know they don't have the conference sewn up quite yet, but don't we think the Titans start taking a mental nap until the playoffs pretty soon? On a related note, ok, fine! The Texans have sucked me back in again, damnit!

GREEN BAY @ JACKSONVILLE
These two teams will play this weekend, but they're also battling it out for a spot on the bed next to the Rams for that rest-of-the-season nap. Actually, I take it back — at least the Packers look like they're still trying.

MINNESOTA @ ARIZONA
Reports coming out of Minnesota say that Tarvaris Jackson will start at QB. In a related story, I'm going with the team that doesn't have Tarvaris Jackson starting at QB.

DENVER @ CAROLINA
Yes, they ran for 300 yards against a VERY good Bucs defense, so logic states they'd run for 750 yards against a terrible Denver defense. However, I'm betting the Panthers start believing their own "Super Bowl contender" hype and stumble this week.

PITTSBURGH @ BALTIMORE
Both of these teams are playing great. They each have a fantastic defense, Baltimore has the edge in the running game, but I'm going with Pittsburgh because their quarterback has championship-level experience.

NEW ENGLAND @ OAKLAND
You just know Randy Moss has been eagerly waiting for the chance to stick it to the team that traded him for a mere fourth-round pick. Actually, Moss should bring a present to Oakland this weekend to show appreciation for saving his career by trading him to the Pats.

N.Y. GIANTS @ DALLAS
The Giants finally stumbled, while Dallas pretty much does what it always does (losing on the road against a good team with Tony Romo making a key error). I look for the Boys to change it up this week and lose at home against a good team with Romo making a key error.

CLEVELAND @ PHILADELPHIA
The Ken Dorsey area did NOT get off to a great start. I'm sure Philly fans will be welcoming and sympathetic on Monday Night.

Heroes: Father (and Mother) Time

Finally, this show is moving in the right direction.

Sure, there’s still more overtly stupid stuff than necessary (I’m talking to you Matt, Daphne and the now-comically evil Sylar), but the stupid-to-good stuff ratio was solidly on the “good stuff” side last night.

I’m fairly sure we can thank Hiro’s mother for that.

Let’s just get the stupid stuff out of the way. I mean, what exactly was the point of Matt, Parkman and Ando’s trip to NYC to find the bike messenger who had the lost issue of 9th Wonder? Sure, we found out that travelling by super speed is a lot windier than teleporting, but the rest was kind of a waste. Yes, the characters needed to eventually see that Hiro would become “lost in time”, but we were seeing that very thing happen before our eyes, so those scenes felt superfluous last night. Then again any scene with Daphne and Parkman feels superfluous these days. On the other hand, I don’t mind Ando too much at all, especially now that he’s actually expressing an interest in having superpowers (and perhaps fulfilling Hiro’s dark vision).

I know that last week I expressed optimism about Sylar’s return to evil form, but I didn’t realize Zachary Quinto would be playing a cartoon villain. I liked the idea of Sylar absorbing the power of Sue Landers (is she related to this guy), who could tell whether people were lying. His character needed to learn the truth about his potential Petrelli parentage (alliteration!) Unfortunately, the writers and directors have apparently given Quinto free reign to do whatever he wants, and he’s apparently decided to go WAY too broad with the character (“Cake”). Remember when this guy used to be genuinely scary?

Still, those problems were relatively minor, especially since there was plenty to like last night.

Hiro and Claire’s trip to 16 years ago had the potential to be another incredibly stupid sideshow, but things took a positive turn when it was revealed that Hiro’s dying mother had the power to heal. As in she had the power to heal the pain inflicted on us the last few weeks by Hiro acting like a 10 year old. The show also showed some solid sense of humor in the scenes with Hiro and Claire trying to interact despite their language barrier.

Hiro had to find a way to get healed of is stupidity by his mom, while Claire had to stop her dad from allowing Kaito Nakamura to put the catalyst into Claire despite the fact that the catalyst was represented last night by a warm golden light that seemed downright pleasant.

Kaito wanted to put the catalyst in Claire because he viewed his son as an irresponsible failure. But we already knew that. What we didn’t know was that young Hiro had often overheard what his father thought of him and that his mother was the one person who always believed in him. The scene (pictured, right) where the dying mother gets to see her full-grown son (and realizes he became a success just like she knew he would be) was touching. In a show that often feels too busy, this scene was allowed to play out patiently and the decision paid off.

The scenes between Claire and her parents were almost as good. We saw how overwhelmed Mrs. Bennett was at first. She was so overwhelmed that she let a strangely over-tanned teen girl named Bonnie take care of the baby, much to the dismay of a still rough-around-the-edges Noah (not yet H.R.G.) This stuff was so good that I’m willing to overlook the physical impossibility of the same matter occupying the same space at the same time, and the inherent creepiness of Claire feeding herself and changing her own diaper.

Too bad their success in the past was immediately interrupted by Arthur Petrelli, who took the catalyst from Hiro and left him stranded in the past.

Arthur also conveniently lived long enough to pass on the catalyst to the formula, which was tested on an Iraq War soldier of Nathan’s choosing. Nathan was moving ahead with his plan to save the world, while the increasingly conniving Tracy was making sure she was still positioned firmly at his side. The formula was successful in that the soldier gained super strength. I was hoping the formula would give people less generic powers than the ones gained by the soldier and Mohinder. Maybe the super power to arrange furniture in a pleasing fashion.

Unfortunately, Arthur won’t be around to see the fruits of his labor. Peter had been assigned by his mom to kill his dad (think about that for a second), but, like the Haitian, we all knew there was no way that could happen. Ok, so Peter DID pull the trigger, but it was Sylar who delivered the kill after stopping the bullet in midair (cool) and finding out that Arthur wasn’t really his father. I never realized that the Haitian could selectively dampen people’s powers, but this is the second straight week he’s done so, so I’ll guess I’ll roll with that.

I’ll miss Robert Forster as Arthur because I liked that he wasn’t a conventional capital E “Evil” bad guy. Still, the character appears to have served the story and I’m definitely NOT against cutting back on characters in this show. Hopefully, the writers will continue to streamline the characters, sharpen the focus and allow for longer, more effective scenes like the one between Hiro and his mom.

So what’d you think of this episode? Will Nathan’s super soldier actually use his powers for good? How do you think Hiro will get back to the present? How did Arthur Petrelli even know to find Hiro and Claire 16 years ago? Finally, we all think that Noah eventually realized who Claire was during their meeting in the past, right?

Desperate Housewives: I Can See Clearly

I know, I know.

I’m a day late with this recap (and I’ll likely be a day late with my Monday take on “Heroes”) because I took a much-needed personal day to just relaxify and not do ANY writing.

Of course, I realize you likely a.) don’t really care that I’m gone or b.) didn’t even notice, but I just wanted to explain myself so that you didn’t think I’d given up on you.

I also didn’t want you to think I didn’t enjoy last night’s episode of “Desperate Housewives,” which may not have been the show’s best episode, but represents the show at its best. There was heart, laugh-out-loud humor, the advancement of an ongoing mystery and, best of all, Susan NOT acting like a complete imbecile.

I realize I’ve been very hard on Teri Hatcher’s character lately, and I was especially hard after her initial immature reaction to Mike and Katherine’s relationship.

Last night, she appeared to turn a new page, but it was Mike and Susan’s son M.J. who wasn’t exactly warming up to Katherine. (See, it’s ok when M.J. acts like a five year old, because he’s actually five years old. When Susan acts like a five year old, it’s just annoying.) Still, throwing hot fudge in Katherine’s hair and a bowling ball at her feet was probably too much.

In the end, it turned out that Susan wasn’t quite so innocent when it came to M.J.’s behavior. I thought Edie had a valid point in that Susan may not have been doing anything to overtly turn her son against Katherine, but that her behavior definitely indicated hostility. But it turned out that Susan had told her son that she and daddy might be getting back together one day during story time.

Since I still don’t fully understand why Mike and Susan broke up in the first place, this is a perfectly valid topic, and one that Mike has obviously considered given his non-answer when Susan confronted him. It seems clear Susan and Mike are on their way to getting back together. Poor Katherine — let’s hope she doesn’t go another two years without sex.

Unfortunately for Mike and Susan, even if they get back together their happiness might be short lived. That’s because last night we got official confirmation that Dave’s wife and kid were the people who died in the car accident with Mike and Susan. We saw more of Dave’s mental illness as he spoke to his deceased family and vowed to get revenge. Before it seemed like he was targeting Mike, but now it’s apparent that he’s going to target the people Mike cares about the most — Susan and M.J. (So that’s what “I’m not done with you yet” meant.)

Of course, I don’t honestly believe the show would let Susan or adorable M.J. (who’s straight out of a 60’s sitcom) be seriously harmed, but I have faith the show’s writers will find a way to make things interesting.

They’ve found a way to keep Andrew interesting, even after the character reformed from his hellraising ways.

Last week’s outta-nowhere “Orson’s doctor is Andrew’s boyfriend” twist was a bit jarring, but I love the way the show handled the storyline. I’m sure that Bree from a few seasons ago would not have accepted that Andrew had a boyfriend, much less invite the guy over for dinner and encourage them to scooch together. I also loved her obvious attempts to relate to the good doctor, including serving strawberry daiquiris, inviting Bob and Lee over and pointing out that a lot of gay men hang out at the gym (right?)

I especially loved the fact that the doctor’s porno past ("Rear Deployment"!)wasn’t a big deal at all, and only proved to Andrew that his mother cared enough to mettle in his love life. I like to think that my mom cares for me, but I think even she would draw the line at renting porno to try to protect me. On second thought, she’s kinda crazy, so never mind.

The show also found a skillful way to deal with the predictability of Carlos (pictured, left) getting his eyesight back. I mean, we all knew it would happen eventually (just like we all know Susan and Mike will get back together someday), but the storyline certainly served to develop Gabby (though I’d argue that it’s made Carlos too much of a saint at times.)

One of the first things Carlos saw with his sight restored (other than Gabby’s middle finger) was the sacrifices she’s made in the five years since he went blind. That included selling his Lou Gehrig baseball (newsflash Gabby, he’s not so much alive!), which Gabby promptly got back from a skeezy Italian millionaire (is there any other kind?) Now that Carlos has his sight back, I have no idea where the writers will take these two — and I kinda like that.

Too bad things aren’t going nearly as well for the Scavos. Of course, we know Lynette started her “protect Porter at all costs” campaign last week by bribing Anne Schilling and lying to her son about not knowing where she was. Well the lying continued this week as she neglected to tell Tom their emergency nest egg had been used as bribe money for Anne, and tampered with evidence by wiping off and returning the gun Porter had stolen from Edie during the time of the fire (admittedly not the greatest alibi in the world). I did enjoy Tom asking if Porter had slept with Edie too and saying “I’d give anything to sleep with a 17 year old” followed by a great disapproving look from Lynette.

When Lynette lied to her son and the police last week and bribed Anne Schilling, I was on board because she was doing what she needed to do to protect her son. I can still understand that sentiment, but things are WAY out of control now with ..Preston.. posing as Porter and I just don’t see any way this can end well. As Mary Alice said in her opening voiceover, I just don’t think her family is going to be having breakfast together any time soon.

So what’d you think of this episode? What style of dance do we think Gabby did on that table top? Do you want to see Bob and Lee more involved in storylines like they were last night or are you more interested in the sure-to-be triumphant return of Mrs. McCluskey? Finally, how many episodes till Mike and Susan get back together? (I’m putting the number at 10.)

24: Redemption Review

After a seemingly interminable 18-month wait since the last original episode of "24", Jack (Bauer) is back with "24: Redemption", a two-hour movie meant to tide us over until, catch us up with and get us excited about the seventh season of "24" premiering in January.

(Well, the wait was slightly more interminable for me, since my slacker tendencies meant I didn't watch this movie until last night, almost two weeks after it aired.)

The movie finds Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) in the African leg of his redemption tour to atone for his past sins. He's holed up in an African school run by his Special Forces friend Benton (Robert Carlyle). Bauer also has to dodge a subpoena served by the weasely Frank Trammell (Gil Bellows), who we know is weasely because he wears weasely glasses and is trying to get Bauer back to the United States to pay for said sins.

The action takes place in the fictional country of Sangala, which is run by Gen. Benjamin Juma (Tony Todd), and his second-in-command Col. Dubaku (an impressive Hakeem Kae-Kazim). They are recruiting child soldiers to help them utilize the weapons provided by a shady power player named Hodges (Jon Voight) from back in the United States.

By the way, all of this is taking place during the inauguration of new president Allison Taylor (Cherry Jones).

When I watch a movie based on a TV show, the most important thing to me is that the movie is bigger (you HAVE to take advantage of the fact that it's playing on a large screen) and also able to stand on its own and that it NOT just feel like a two-hour episode. "Redemption" is going to have to be an exception to this rule, since it's obviously a TV movie and because it's not really meant to be a standalone adventure.

So did "Redemption" do its job in getting people excited for season 7? Hard to say. I've missed seeing Jack Bauer and hearing him say "damnit" so much that I probably would've been satisfied if "Redemption" followed Jack as he served food for two hours at a soup kitchen.

Seriously. I was probably a little more psyched during Jack's introduction last night (standing in the doorway as young Willy was going through his stuff) than I should've been.

I think the movie did a nice job of establishing the child soldier storyline in Sangala, showing us Jack's conflict AND delivering some kickass action in the span of two hours. Kiefer Sutherland is still excellent as Jack and here he probably showed more outward weariness than we've seen before (look at that poster - he looks like he can barely hold up that rifle). He's also apparently been working on his marksmanship since I don't believe Jack missed a single shot last night. The action scenes in Africa delivered, with my favorite throwaway moment being the guy Jack killed with his knife.

Still, I definitely could've done without the generous amount of screen time given to Willy, Jack's wannabe Short Round. (I kept waiting for him to say "Okee, dokee Mr. Bower!") The kid was irritating in that way that kids are in shows or movies that have no place for kids. Also, what happened to Benton is probably Willy's fault. I understand the child soldiers were crucial to this storyline, but please promise me you won't have any more little kids in prominent roles ever again. (It's a shame because the rest of the child actors were actually pretty good.)

I was more impressed by Kae-Kazim as the vengeance-seeking Col. Dubaku, whose fate was left up in the air. Personally, I hope he comes back because I think he has the potential to be a formidable adversary for Jack.

It seems that Jack won't have an adversary in the White House since President Taylor, so far, seems to be pretty close to David Palmer-like saintliness. Obviously, it's still ridiculously early to tell, but I hope they give Cherry Jones some interesting things to play in the future besides "goodness." The character should be an interesting change following the reptilian presidencies of Noah Daniels (Powers Boothe) and the late(?) great Charles Logan (Gregory Itzin).

That notwithstanding, I thoroughly enjoyed the scenes in Washington. I guess I was mostly happy to see Peter MacNicol temporarily reprise his role as White House aide Tom Lennox (one of the very best parts of the lackluster season 6) and Boothe as Daniels (oozing nastiness). I also liked the introduction of Hodges as the apparent Big Bad this season, though beating Jack Bauer will be an even bigger challenge for Jon Voight than beating "Karate Dog."

I was less impressed by the storyline involving the druggie (Kris Lemche) who stumbled upon Hodges' dirty deeds and also happens to be close friends with the president's son (Eric Lively). Sure, the scene where those two guys broke into his house was tense and very effective and creepy, but I just couldn't have cared less about this guy, and most of this stuff seemed to be happening on another show. There had to be a different (better) way to tie Hodges' dirty dealings with the president's office because this stuff had "DVD Deleted Scenes" written all over it.

In the end, it was a decent movie — not great, but certainly not as good as many of the show's episodes. I was surprised by the fact that I was excited for Jack to get out of Africa. Critics and fans were calling for an overhaul of the show after the stinky sixth season, and one of the ideas was to relocate our hero to a different country. While the stuff in Africa was decent (I probably could've done without the stereotypical "chanting" music on the soundtrack — I get it, he's in Africa), I'm glad he's on his way back to the U.S. I'm optimistic the writers have come up with something great for him to do when he gets there.

24: Redemption...B

Conflict of Interest: Andre Johnson edition

Ok, so here's the deal.

It's money time in the fantasy football season as the regular season comes to a close in both my NFL.com and Yahoo league.

I literally mean it's money time since I'm tied for the division lead in my 12-team NFL league and division winners get $50, which is the cost of the entry fee. Meanwhile, I'm one game out of my Yahoo league's playoffs, but I have more total points than both of the teams I'm chasing. So I need to win there and hope one of them loses. If I win and both of them lose, then I'm likely a 3 seed. If I lose, then be on alert for flying remote controls.

The conflict this week is Texans wide receiver Andre Johnson, who was underrated up until this past Monday night when Ron Jaworski and Tony Kornheiser said his name approximately 200 times. He's also the league leader in catches and receiving yards, so he's obviously been a big-time fantasy presence.

I own him in my Yahoo league, while my opponent has him in my NFL league. Since I NEED to win to even have a chance of making the playoffs in my Yahoo league and to preserve the health of my TV remote, I'm going to hope AJ has a relatively big game. I'm also just going to hope the team I share the division lead with simply loses because I also like cash.

Dream statline: 7 catches for 85 yards and 1TD in a loss to Green Bay.

NFL 2008 Week 14 Picks

Hope you all had as much fun during your Thanksgiving holiday as I did.

If you did, there's a good chance it was because WEREN'T watching the pitiful and depressing games the league offered on Thursday. Much less pitiful was my picks record (10-6 week, 120-71-1 overall), so let's see if we can keep that going.

OAKLAND @ SAN DIEGO
Losing at home to Oakland would be a new low for this disappointing Chargers team. I think they're about to hit a new low.

JACKSONVILLE @ CHICAGO
After their ugly loss to Houston on Monday Night Football, the big question for me was whether the Jaguars used Fed Ex or UPS when they decided to mail in their season?

MINNESOTA @ DETROIT
A few weeks ago I was going to pick Detroit to win this game and seal Brad Childress's firing at the end of the season. Now, it looks like the Vikings might actually win their crappy division. Also, I've seen the Lions play two weeks in a row and I've become convinced that they can't win this year.

HOUSTON @ GREEN BAY
On the other hand, Green Bay is TRYING to win. It's just that their defense is not helping. I think they pick up a win against the Texans because Houston just won't want to play in Green Bay in December.

CLEVELAND @ TENNESSEE
Ken Dorsey sighting! It was nice of the league to give the Titans two straight bye weeks this late in the season, wasn't it?

CINCINNATI @ INDINAPOLIS
So the Colts didn't even score a touchdown on offense last week and they STILL won. Watch out for this team.

ATLANTA @ NEW ORLEANS
I like Atlanta a LOT. But I like New Orleans at home more.

PHILADELPHIA @ N.Y. GIANTS
It's nice to see that the Eagles DO give a damn, but you're still not going to get me to pick against the Giants. (I know you appreciate my restraint in forgoing a Plaxico Burress joke. I'm sure you've heard them all.)

N.Y. JETS @ SAN FRANCISCO
Seems like nobody got more excited about the "Jets are the best team in the AFC" talk than the Jets themselves. They should be focused this week and pound San Francisco.

NEW ENGLAND @ SEATTLE
Ok, so Matt Cassel DID look terrible against a fantastic Steelers defense. In fact, he looked almost as bad as the Seahawks did on Thanksgiving.

KANSAS CITY @ DENVER
It was just nice to see that Denver apparently got sick of everyone telling them how much they sucked and did something about it.

MIAMI @ BUFFALO
Buffalo just CANNOT beat anyone that is any good. Also, if Miami wins they'll have 8 wins (following a 1-15 season). And why isn't Tony Sparano (pictured, right) a lock for Coach of the Year? (I know Parcells put the team together, but I haven't noticed any puppet strings dangling from Sparano's limbs)

ST. LOUIS @ ARIZONA
Don't be fooled by their losses to the Giants and the Eagles. Arizona is still a great team as long as they play in warm weather and the other team's defense isn't very good. Thankfully, this game fits both criteria.

DALLAS @ PITTSBURGH
I know people are sprinting to catch up to the Dallas bandwagon, but after watching what they did to New England, I think Pittsburgh will simply beat up the Cowboys.

WASHINGTON @ BALTIMORE
So yeah, it turns out that Washington really isn't very good, while Baltimore keeps improving. Not fun times if you're a Skins fan.

TAMPA BAY @ CAROLINA
It's the game of the week as the two teams tied for first place in, arguably, the league's toughest division square off on Monday Night Football. I'm picking the Bucs because they're just more consistent than the Panthers, who are just as likely to put up 35 points on the road (as they did in Green Bay) as they are to put up 3 (as they did in their first meeting with Tampa). There's also a small chance I'm picking the Bucs because they're my team.

Heroes: Power Couples

I kinda liked it (that's what she said).

Actually, I'm talking about the second half of "Heroes'" two-part "The Eclipse," in which the characters got their powers back following the Longest. Eclipse. Ever. (Pardon me for paraphrasing Seth Green's Sam.)

No, it wasn't exactly the Best. Day. Ever. for "Heroes" because too many of the characters are still relentlessly stupid, the "romances" are still completely unbelievable, and Mohinder is still alive. Still, I saw some things to like, including interesting character development, a couple of solid action sequences, Seth Green and Breckin Meyer (pictured, left, and the only two actors who appear to realize they're not acting in a serious show) as comic book nerds Sam and Frack and even some (intentional) humor.

As we caught up with our still-powerless heroes, H.R.G. was still intent on killing Sylar and Elle, Nathan had been captured by Baron Samedi (the Haitian's brother and a Haitian himself, though Jimmy Jean Louis showed his TV brother why he's THE Haitian), Mohinder was happy about being cured of his scaliness, and Parkman and Hiro were still acting like idiots in Kansas.

I mean, really Matt? "What are those things on your legs?" after seeing Daphne in leg braces? Didn't you see "Forrest Gump"? Unfortunately for us, there is no end in sight for this "romance" as Matt helped Daphne reconnect with her father and her scarecrow.

I'm slightly more optimistic about Hiro's storyline, only because it seems like Sam and Frack are on their way to helping put an end to this 10-year-old nonsense. Through some "9th Wonder" back issues, the duo discovered that Hiro needed to pick up Claire and time travel back to the moment when the Company handed her over to Noah. I also liked the idea that, given all the horrible things that have happened, Hiro was hesitant about embracing his abilities again. Of course, this could've worked just as well (actually better) if Hiro had merely lost his memory and not reverted back to childhood, but it's too late to undo that embarrassing turn of events.

Of course, when Hiro popped into the Bennett household as Sylar was about to kill H.R.G., and teleported Sylar and Elle out of there while taking Claire to safety, he also took all the drama that had been built up with him. Still, I thought it was funny way to cut through the tension. H.R.G. had been hunting the mostly-defenseless couple through most of the episode before slitting Sylar's throat earlier.

I liked how coldly Bennett disposed of Sylar and I thought the idea that Claire could get deathly sick because she's never had to develop resistance to any infections was very clever. However, the fact that this show has killed and brought back its central characters time and time again pretty much robs every major "death" of excitement or drama. I think I may have actually yawned when Claire flatlined.

One person who doesn't appear to be coming back is Elle. At the end of my recap last week I asked the writers to please kill Elle before I disliked Kristen Bell any more due to this show. Well, I got my wish. I would like to say that I'll miss her, but that character had become such a confounding mess, that I'm just happy Kristen Bell can do something better with her time. I mean, did she want to have her powers or did she want to be rid of them? Did she want Sylar to be good or bad? Well, she didn't really get a choice as Sylar reverted back to his old habits and sliced her head open (despite the fact that he already took her power through empathy) after their "From Here to Eternity" moment. Bell's acting, however, was good in her final moments, expressing both fear and a sort of acceptance for the monster she helped create.

While I actually enjoyed the Sylar redemption storyline (and Zachary Quinto's performance), I'm glad to see big bad Sylar back and on a tear. He could be an interesting wild card since he has beef with the Company and Pinehearst. Well, he actually has a beef with Angela and Arthur Petrelli, since they apparently lied to him about being their son (I never fully bought this to begin with, since we saw him with his mom in the first season).

Speaking of Petrellis, Peter and Nathan's jungle adventure was predictably boneheaded. While Baron Samedi was shockingly easy to defeat (not exactly god-like) and the "Haitian prostitute" plot line was a bit much, I DID enjoy Peter doing his best Stallone impersonation with the AK-47. Still, I liked the idea of him trying to prove that he's a hero without his powers. And I really liked Nathan's decision to join his father's mission of developing the formula to give people powers. I'm not exactly sure that Arthur's plan for super humans involves helping people in Darfur, but it's an interesting idea nonetheless.

Finally, Mohinder did something awesome! (I know, I did a triple take too.) After yelling at him the entire episode to simply rise up and kick a powerless Flint's ass, he finally did so! (Less awesome was him looking up Maya. Do we need to go down that road again?) Fortunately, his powers (featuring extra face and neck scales) and that snake sound effect in the sound track came back and he had to run back to Pinehearst. Once there, Arthur suggested that Mohinder may have an extra something in him that would allow him to beat a man nearly to death. He's probably talking about a dark side, but I thought it was interesting that the eclipse took Mohinder's powers away, despite the fact that he didn't get them from the eclipse in the first place. Maybe Mohinder DOES have some secret ability we don't know of yet (other than being incredibly annoying, of course).

So what'd you think of this episode? Why does Seth Green have a beard? Are we ok with the fact that H.R.G. watched Sylar and Elle get it on for an extended amount of time through his sniper scope? (I mean, honestly — there wasn't an actor, director, script supervisor or editor who realized that ending one episode with Noah having Sylar and Elle in his sights, having the couple have sex, and then, finally, having H.R.G. take a terrible shot at them makes him look like a huge Peeping Tom? Maybe they were going for that.) Is Sylar really not a Petrilli? Finally, is there a current TV couple with less chemistry than Matt and Daphne?

Desperate Housewives: Fire and Lies

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

After a much-needed mini vacation, (both of) my readers will be glad to know that I'm now back to planting myself in front of the TV and, later, planting myself in front of my computer to write about it.
Following a week off due to the American Music Awards (I think turkey and fierceness from Beyonce's performance were the two main leftovers from last week), "Desperate Housewives" came back with an uneven episode that picked up right after The Great White Horse Fire of 2008 (ok, so no one's calling it that but me). The episode had some good dramatic moments, a pair of overly sitcom-y storylines and yet another completely infuriating development involving the most annoying Housewife.

If you've watched this show in the past three years, you know I'm talking about Susan.
The episode opened with the women of Wisteria Lane visiting their loved ones at the hospital (where it appeared that mostly the men got injured), where Susan eventually discovered — due to some macadamia cookie-related detective work — that Mike was seeing one of her friends. When she tasted the same cookie at Katherine's house, she realized it was Katherine that Mike was seeing, and not Susan's other friend with the "booby" shirt.

The only thing more annoying than watching Susan storm off in a huff like a child, was watching Mike, Katherine and everyone else go out of their way to tip toe around Susan's feelings. I get that Susan and Katherine are friends, but Mike and Katherine's relationship started well after Mike and Susan's ended. Yes, it's weird and, yes, Susan would rather that her ex-husband NOT date one of her good friends, but Mike and Katherine are not doing ANYTHING wrong. Thank God a half-awake Bree was there to hit Susan with a healthy dose of honesty about how Susan ended her marriage with Mike, despite the fact that she clearly still loves him.

I remember how Susan was the heart of the show when it started or at least the one we rooted for. I don't understand what Teri Hatcher did to the writers to have them make her character increasingly immature, annoying and unbearable (although she WAS right about how macadamia cookies trick you into thinking they're white chocolate chip). It seems like the show is headed for a Susan and Mike reunion, but, at this point, I like Mike with Katherine. Or it could just be that I don't want Susan with anyone until she stops acting like such a psycho. It's not a good sign that a sleep-deprived Bree is ten times smarter and more reasonable than Susan.

The reason Bree was sleep-deprived was because Orson's nasal injury during the fire caused him to snore. This was one of those sitcom-y plots I was talking about that have been done to death. I suppose this one had a "Desperate Housewives" twist in that there was an attempted drugging and that, eventually, Bree got her way over the increasingly emasculated Orson. Marcia Cross and Kyle McLachlan are better than this stuff, but they still sold it. Still, as far as drug-induced craziness on this show goes, I prefer Lynette's game of charades after some pot brownies.

Of course, Lynette was in a much more serious mood last night. She was in full-on protective mother mode after finding out the police's number one suspect in the fire was her son Porter. First, she lied to the police about hearing her son threaten the club owner's life, then she secretly gave Anne a wad of money (apparently whoever bought the pizzeria paid in cash) for her and her baby to go away (only there was no baby). Finally, after imploring her son to be completely honest with her, she lied to his face when he asked if she knew anything about Anne's whereabouts.

I know I've been tough on Lynette this season (when's Felicity Huffman going to get to play something light again?) and I realize the scene was set up to make her out to be a hypocrite, but I'm kind of totally ok with her lying to her son. I'm not saying that parents should lie to their kids as a rule, but sometimes it really is the best course of action. What would be gained from Lynette telling Porter the truth? He'd probably hate Lynette and run off to try to find Anne, which isn't good for anybody. I'm also completely ok with her lying to the police, but that's because we all know Porter's innocent.

Then again, the police don't know that. It's going to be even harder to believe that after local hero Dave Williams put the blame on Porter. I continue to be fascinated by this character's actions. I mean, Dave laying the blame on Porter in itself isn't exactly shocking. What is interesting is how messed up this character is (the scene where he asked Mike to be his good friend) and what is surprising is that he continues to express guilt for his actions. He appeared to feel bad about strangling his doctor, tricking Mrs. McCluskey into earning a trip to a nursing home and, last night, he appeared to be really broken up about the seven people who died in the fire. I like that Dave isn't exactly capital e "Evil."

Not quite as interesting are the events in the Solis household. Ok, so it WAS interesting that Carlos could potentially be getting his sight back (we knew it was a matter of time). However, it wasn't exactly thrilling to watch Gabby and Carlos act out the same plot they've already done a few times this season: she frets that things aren't how they used to be, he tells her it's ok, they embrace. It's sweet, but it's repetitive. That being said, I enjoyed watching Gabby hastily exercise in the hospital and try to convince her daughters to eat healthy food.

With the Mrs. Hildebrand storyline apparently behind them, I hope there's good (and new) things ahead for this entertaining couple.

So what'd you think of this episode? Do you think we've seen the last of Anne? Wasn't the introduction of Andrew's relationship WAY too abrupt and a little too convenient? (Really? He just happens to be dating Bree and Orson's doctor?) Finally, are we sure Carlos is getting his sight back?