Merry Christmas Eve eve!Since I (hopefully) won't be touching a computer during the Christmas holiday, I thought I'd try to sneak in my picks for the final week of the regular season today.
With the very real possibility that two 8-8 teams (San Diego and Arizona) will go the playoffs, it was only fitting I followed suit with last week's picks (8-8 week, 148-91-1 overall). Before I go on to make embarrassing playoff picks, let's see if I can finish the regular season strong.
ST. LOUIS @ ATLANTA
How likable is this Atlanta team? They're a division rival who handed my favorite time a backbreaking loss two weeks ago, but even I'm rooting for the Falcons at this point.
NEW ENGLAND @ BUFFALO
You know how I've been saying that Buffalo can't beat anyone good? Well last week they beat Denver! Unfortunately, that says more about the Broncos than it does about Buffalo.
KANSAS CITY @ CINCINNATI
Don't you just love it when crappy teams try! (Unless of course they're playing your favorite team.) I HAVE to go with the Bengals because the Chiefs are on a truly unprecedented run of blowing winnable games.
DETROIT @ GREEN BAY
For some reason I'm hearing a lot less "the Lions CAN'T go 0-16" talk. I guess people have actually gotten around to watching them.
TENNESSEE @ INDIANAPOLIS
If you always wanted to know whether the Titans or the Colts have the better backups, you should definitely tune in.
N.Y. GIANTS @ MINNESOTA
The Vikings playoff hopes potentially rest on the right arm (and uncontrollably-scrambling feet) of Tarvaris Jackson. That's scarier than "The Exorcist", "The Shining" and "Halloween" put together.
CAROLINA @ NEW ORLEANS
Will Drew Brees break Dan Marino's single season passing yard record? I'm guessing no, since the Panthers need this game to win the division and they will run the ball and control the clock. However, I want to take this space to thank Drew Brees (pictured, left) for carrying both of my fantasy football team to the playoffs, including a championship loss, and (almost) inspiring me to overpay for a Brees jersey.
CLEVELAND @ PITTSBURGH
The Browns haven't scored an offensive touchdown in five games and they play the best defense in the league. I wouldn't blame Romeo Crennel for sleeping through this one.
CHICAGO @ HOUSTON
On the flip side of the fantasy coin, I'd like to thank the Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson for single-handedly killing my fantasy team in the finals. Seriously, guys? You let the Raiders shut you down completely? Of course, now that nothing is on the line, I expect them to light it up again.
OAKLAND @ TAMPA BAY
Not that they actually deserve to go to the playoffs after losing three straight games, but I think the Bucs will get there after...
DALLAS @ PHILADELPHIA
...the Eagles beat the Cowboys. Both of these teams are coming off heartbreaking losses. Actually, only the Eagles' loss was really heartbreaking as they came within a few inches of the goal line. On the other hand, the Cowboys loss wasn't so much heartbreaking as it was humiliating. So, it's the perfect time to announce that your doofus of a coach is safe. Huh?
JACKSONVILLE @ BALTIMORE
It's nice to see that Jacksonville didn't COMPLETELY quit on their season, as they've played hard the last few weeks. Unfortunately, the Ravens are also playing hard — and they're a LOT better.
WASHINGTON @ SAN FRANCISCO
So apparently the Niners are wearing throwback jerseys AND growing throwback mustaches to honor past San Francisco legends. Love. It.
MIAMI @ N.Y. JETS
I just HAVE to believe that the Jets can't possibly be as sorry as they've looked the past couple of weeks the same way I didn't believe they were as good as everyone was making them out to be a few weeks ago.
SEATTLE @ ARIZONA
The 2008 Arizona Cardinals — worst playoff team ever? Discuss.
DENVER @ SAN DIEGO
How can you not like San Diego, seeing as how they have their health and all the momentum in their favor? Also, is it possible that I'm picking San Diego as some sort of reverse jinx just to irk the touchy, front-running Chargers fans? Absolutely!
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