24: The Torturer Becomes the Torturee

Things were going WAY too well weren’t they?

Jack had escaped his “Lethal Weapon”-esque torture to kick an entire Russian gang’s ass, Dana had apparently decided to take matters into her own hands and seemed to be on the verge of killing her ex, Kevin, and his more-dangerous hillbilly friend Nick. On top of that, it seemed like the good guys were about to get their hands on those nuclear rods and salvage the peace talks between U.S. President Taylor and President Hassan.

Except that this is only episode 8 and if you’ve seen this show before you knew there was no way those nuclear rods would be in that truck.

Sometimes I feel like this show would be better off if it were called “22” or “18”. Too often, the show HAS to throw some sort of absurd inconvenience in our hero’s way because Jack is so ridiculously efficient and effective that he could probably wrap up a season’s worth of conflict in about 45 minutes. It’s a paradox.

Fortunately, the show did a pretty good job of setting up and executing its artificial conflict in Monday night’s episode.

I mean it was obvious that Josef Bazhaev was definitely NOT ok with his dad Sergei mercy killing Josef’s brother, no matter what he said. Personally, I would’ve guessed that Josef was going to end up putting a bullet in his father, but it turned out that stealing his papa’s nuclear rods and selling them to Farhad Hassan was a much more effective “f--- you.”

Other than the Jack/Renee action, this season has (deservedly) taken some flack for not moving very fast. (For example, I’d kind of completely forgotten about Farhad, who really does look like Jason Schwartzman, until he popped up in my TV last night — that’s not really saying much about our season’s big threat.) At least this latest episode was considerate enough to pack in some solid Bauer-power and a strong performance by a supporting player.

This is the part where I praise Kiefer Sutherland for being a more credible action hero in his mid-40’s than most young guys running around on the big screen these days. Sergei had (correctly) pegged Jack as a “cop” and had unleashed his torturer on him. It didn’t take long for Jack to turn the tables on the guy, snap his neck and wreak havoc on a restaurant full of scared Russian mobsters. (What exactly was the point of Sergei shooting all those wine glasses when Jack was hiding under the table?)

At least the stupidly-destructive Sergei was redeemed in my eyes thanks to strong work by Jurgen Prochnow. Watching this previously badass mob boss break down and cry upon the realization that he’d killed his own son for a job that had gone south was sad and afforded a “24” bad guy a rare bit of humanity.

He’d asked for and received total immunity from President Taylor. (Taylor and CTU (Dick)Head Hastings are getting smarter, since they both instantly approved the immunity on Jack’s recommendation.) Unfortunately, when Cole and his team (including a curiously-nervous new guy) arrived, the rods were gone and it seems like they’ll fall into Farhad’s hands after all.

When President Hassan hears about THAT development, he’s likely to arrest everybody (including you and me). His daughter Kayla (who I speculated may be a villain after all) tried to appeal to her father after bodyguard/boyfriend Tarin’s arrest. Now I’m thinking the culmination of this disappointingly-static “Hassan goes crazy” storyline is that he’ll end up having his own daughter arrested. (Personally, I think it’d be more interesting if she were somehow involved in the nuclear plot and President Hassan has been arresting all the wrong people the whole time, but that’s just me.)

I honestly can’t decide what’s worse — that the President Hassan/Taylor storyline is going nowhere or that every person who works at CTU New York (except for Chloe and Freddie Prinze Jr.) is incredibly annoying.

I mean, when I found myself rooting for Arlo, the snarky-jealous-irritating techie, to blow Dana Walsh’s scheme wide open, I knew this was in a bad place. Meanwhile, Mykelti Williamson has decided that squinting REALLY hard = acting whenever Hastings is listening to someone talk. (Ok, I’ll admit I actually find this one pretty amusing.)

Then there’s Dana herself. I mean, who could’ve possibly seen that Kevin and Nick (Jonas?!) were never going to be content with ripping her off one single time. Oh wait, anyone with a brain could see that. So, to summarize, Dana is smart enough to create a new identity, land a high-level job at CTU, but she’s stupid enough to believe that Kevin and Nick were going to leave her alone after she helped them steal $120,000.

She seemed to be on the verge of confessing everything to Cole before he got called into Hastings’ office. (There’s another one of those classic “24” roadblocks.) Now, it appears Dana has decided grab a gun and track Kevin and Nick down at whatever sleazy strip club they’re hitting so she can rid herself (and us) of these fools forever. It probably doesn’t say much that this is DEFINITELY her best idea yet.

So what’d you think of this episode? Who will President Hassan arrest next? How will Jack and Co. track down the nuclear rods now? Finally, is Renee (about to undergo a psychiatric evaluation) crazy or just a little unwell?