American Idol: Hollywood Singin'

This week was the first time this year I sat down to watch “American Idol” without it feeling like homework.

Of course, that’s no coincidence given that the audition round shenanigans are (mostly) behind us, and we’re getting down to the business of finding the next potential pop superstar.

For the most part, the first two episodes of “Hollywood Week” delivered the goods (one definitely more than the other). As has become customary due to my slacker-y ways, I’m just going to give you my thoughts on what stood out in my mind during each episode. (And I promise to do proper recaps once the semifinals start.)

Enough intro’ing — let’s get to it! We’ll start with Tuesday night’s episode, in which 181 walked onstage single file, were toyed with by Ellen, and eventually whittled down to 96 singers.

- Since a lot of us have been bitching about how there hasn’t been enough good singing showcased, I’d be a hypocrite to start anywhere else.

There was some VERY promising talent on display. I LOVED Janell Wheeler’s (representing Tampa!) take on “American Boy.” I was grooving to her performance from the start and before having that wonderful moment of recognition (“Wait a minute – is this “American Boy”?) I didn’t have quite the same feeling with Andrew Garcia’s re-working of “Straight Up”, but it was still VERY impressive.

The surprise of the evening was Lily Scott who came out of nowhere (where have you been hiding her, “Idol” editors) to deliver a sturdy and sensational “Lullaby of Birdland.” I’d never heard that song before, but I liked Lily’s take on it. I also felt like Casey James is 95% more effective with his blues guitar (and with his shirt on). Finally, Crystal Bowersox seemed to have her competitors behind her during her strong take on “Natural Woman”, but all I could focus on was her brown teeth. Sorry.

- Was Simon complimenting the Kara-penned “Terrified” (after Didi Benami’s great lovely performance) the first nice thing he’s ever said to her?

- I’m not too impressed with Mary Powers. We don’t really need another Pink because the one we have now still works perfectly. On the other hand, though she’s still not blowing me away with her pipes, I wouldn’t mind if Hayley Vaughn became the next Taylor Swift. (We could use a Taylor Swift that actually sounds decent live.)

- (Big) Michael Lynche is not a great singer by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s got something. I couldn’t help but notice the way the contestants in the audience and his fellow competitors on stage were clapping along during his performance.

- I get why the judges let Justin Williams go (his “f--- me” eyes were creepy as hell), but I don’t understand why they kept Tim Urban. Maybe it’s just me, but I thought his take on David Cook’s “Come Back to Me” was horrible. (Though I may be biased since Cook is probably my all-time favorite “Idol.”)
- Finally, I suppose I have talk about Ellen.

I was pleasantly surprised by her debut as the new judge on “Idol.” I’m still not hearing a massive amount of music knowledge (because it’s not there), but her jokes were pretty funny and she was respectful of the contestants (and the show). Mostly though, it felt surprisingly good to have a new voice on the panel that actually had something (entertaining/relevant) to say. I’m more encouraged now than I was about the Ellen experiment coming into this season.

Now let’s talk about the dreaded group episode, which featured 70 percent drama, 25 percent singing, and five percent good singing.

- Honestly, what is the point of these group episodes (besides the obvious side-effect of creating drama)? I mean, the only time these people will ever perform again in groups is when they reach the top 12 and we’re all subjected to those torturous results’ night medleys. (At least that’s what I hear, since I skip the results’ show until the eliminated contestant is announced.)

- Also, how does song selection work? I realize there are certain songs “Idol” can’t get cleared, but did the contestants only have about a list of 15 songs to choose from? Basically, I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea that (at least) four separate groups got together and independently decided to sing (out of all the songs in the world) Gwen Stefani’s “Sweet Escape.” It’s a fine tune, but it’s lyrically tricky and it does nothing to show off a singer’s vocal prowess — other than that it’s a good choice.

- This year’s winner for Heavily-Hyped Contestant Coming Into Hollywood Week Who Was Let Go Without Us Hearing a Peep From Him? I’m going with David Pittman (aka Tourette’s syndrome guy!) Um, congratulations?

- Michael Lynche’s wife is the most understanding woman in the world. Not only is she ok with her guy going out for “American Idol” while she’s in labor, but she’s also apparently ok with the family sharing their newborn baby’s pictures on TV. (Delivery room audio included.) I get that she doesn’t want to hold him back from his dreams, but if my (theoretical) wife were giving birth, that’s a “gots-to-go” situation for me.

- Did we need to know Michael’s wife was “eight centimeters dilated”? (That was almost as gross as Justin Williams’ “f--- me” eyes.)

- A bit more Michael “I’m trying to help YOU out” Orland and Debra “It’s my turn to talk” Byrd in future Hollywood Week installments would NOT be a bad thing.

- Most important thing I learned from Simon — begging is not cool.

- What was up with the group names? The Dreamers, The Mighty Rangers, Destiny’s Wild (I like a good pun, but ouch!), Neapolitan and Rocky Road (one of the last two isn’t real – good luck figuring out which one without watching this episode).

- I agree that Neapolitan was PROBABLY influenced by Destiny’s Wild’s vision for “Bad Romance.” However, it would’ve been easier for me to sympathize with them if Destiny’s Wild didn’t act like they invented every musical concept. (Did you know that Acapella was their idea?!) It also would’ve been easier for me to support them if their performance hadn’t been so busted. (Tumblers aren’t acceptable on “So You Think You Can Dance”, much less “Idol”) Neapolitan was almost as bad yet both groups inexplicably made it through. Me? I would’ve cut EEEEVVVERRRYYYOOONNNEE.

- I can’t blame Mary Powers for being kind of a bitch with her group. They were a DISASTER! How the hell did Alex Lambert make it through?! He looked TERRIFIED when it was his turn to sing.

- Since the show saved the good singing for the last segment, I’ll do the same. There were only two groups that really stood out. The trio of Janell Wheeler (Tampa!) Jermaine Purifoy and Casey James singing Ne-Yo’s “Closer”, and the group that sang Alicia Keys’ “No One.”

- Did I mention that in an hour episode we were only shown two groups worth a damn?

So what’d you think of the first two episodes of Hollywood Week? Did all of your favorites make the cut? Were you surprised by someone they kept? (Hi Tim Urban.) Finally, what do you think of Ellen as a judge?