American Idol: Semifinal Destination

The third round of Hollywood Week – in which we learned the identity of seven of our 24 season 9 semifinalists – was action packed!

(That’s assuming you consider watching footage of depressed/scared teens and 20-somethings sitting quietly in a conference room for almost an hour to be “action packed.”)

Before we find out who will fill the remaining 17 slots, let me give you my quick hits on Tuesday night’s (unnecessarily) two-hour episode.

- Why can’t there be any chairs or tables in the conference rooms? I get that “Human Target” is probably VERY expensive, but Fox could’ve sprung for some bean bag chairs.

- Sorry, but I can’t let this conference room thing go without one last quick thought. If the camera was going to focus in on the contestants and give us a cheesy voiceover in which that person gave us their thoughts (it was usually some pointless cliché) why not have a little fun with it? For example, they could’ve panned the camera to some random guy and had the voiceover say something like, “I’m in the same room as Mary Powers – I’m toast” or “I REALLY gotta pee.”

- In a semi-related story, it was painfully obvious (to me) that room number 2 would be sent home as soon as I saw Mary “Hot n Mostly Cold” Powers. The show also couldn’t let her leave without one final insult – Simon said she seemed “old” but that it was “interesting.” (Oddly enough with the onslaught of shaky teens and guitar girls, I understood what he meant.)

- The real shame about losing room #2 was the dismissal of Tasha Layton (who never hit a bum note and sounded pretty damn good on Coldplay’s “The Scientist” and Jermaine Purifoy, who added a very funny pause between “brick” and “house” during his last performance.

- Is it too late to switch Jermaines? I was a big fan of Jermaine Sellers after his “One of Us” audition, but every time I see him now I like him less. First it was his over-singing. Now it’s his over-singing and his blaming the band for his bum final note.

- On the other hand, Crystal Bowersox looks like a total pro up on stage, rocking the harmonica/guitar combo last night. Now I feel even worse for only being able to focus in on her brown teeth. (I mean, they’re not even yellow like us regular people – they’re BROWN!)

- If you want to make a world a better place… “Idol” should really vary its songs selection for “Hollywood Week.”

Out of the 46 people who survived the Conference Rooms of Doom, only two were eliminated on Tuesday. And if you want to know how to handle rejection with class and dignity, you should definitely watch Jessica Furney after she was eliminated – and do the absolute opposite. I mean, she’s 21 years old, and she could theoretically come back for the next seven years, but I kind of don’t ever want to see her again.

Anyway, let’s get on to the people who have actually gotten into the semifinals.

- Didi Benami: the best singer by a long shot out of all the people who were put through the top 24. Still, if I actually had to bet some of my own money on which of the seven semifinalists from Tuesday would have the best shot of making the top 12, I would bet on…

- Casey James: Despite looking shaky in the third round of Hollywood Week, the guy improved by leaps and bounds in his previous two performances and has a good chance of being this season’s “hot guy.” I am worried, however, about a potential backlash – just as we were forgetting about Casey taking off his shirt to please Kara and Posh Spice, we were force fed a storyline about Kara having a crush on him. Ugh. It can see it getting to a point where it’s just too much.

- Michael Lynche (pictured, right): Absolutely does NOT deserve to be there based on the strength (or lack thereof) of his vocals, yet I had no doubt he was in after all the time and back story dedicated to Michael and his new baby girl. He’s SUCH a likable guy though, and I’m genuinely curious to see how hard the judges go after him following his inevitably underwhelming semifinal performances.

- Todrick Hall: He appears to have some goods, but I still have the image of him being part of that thoroughly annoying “Destiny’s Wild” group from the second Hollywood Week round. Oh well, even if he craps out, he’ll always have that picture of him with Oprah.

- Lee Dewyze: If you would’ve asked me if “Lee Dewyze” was a contestant on “American Idol” or a porn star, I definitely would’ve said porn star. Seems like a cool guy though.

- Katelyn Epperly: It’s been more than a month since we first met her and the most memorable thing about her remains the fact that her parents got divorced. Not good.

- Aaron Kelly: I just don’t get it. I didn’t think his “The Climb” audition was all that, and he forgot his lyrics in two out of three Hollywood Week performances! I get that “Idol” likes to have a harmless teen-dream because they think it’ll get the moms voting (if I were a mom I’d be insulted by this assumption), but the fact of the matter is that this kid is simply not ready to be the next “American Idol.” I can only assume they put him through because they’re fairly confident he’ll forget his lyrics in the semifinal round, pee his pants, and make Twitter explode.

So what’d you think of this episode? Who were you disappointed to see go, and who were you surprised to see remain? Finally, give me two people (one guy/one girl) who are definitely in. (I’ll give you Andrew Garcia and Angela Martin.)