It's baaaack.Although next week is officially premiere week, new shows for this fall season have already started cropping up. One of those new episodes was the season premiere of (I know I've said it before and I'll say it again) my favorite show to write a recap for: the insanely-addictive-if-you've-ever-caught-a-marathon-on-VH-1-on-the-weekend "America's Next Top Model"!
The show's ninth season, er cycle, kicked off last night as 33 hopefuls were summoned to Puerto Rico (yay!) blindfolded and eventually led onto a cruise (which is actually the exact same way they got ME off the island) captained by a particularly gay looking Miss J.
Soon thereafter, and barely 20 minutes into the cyle, the show already made the girls look absolutely ridiculous by having them show off their runway walk on the deck of the cruise ship while wearing those silly-looking net floaties. I'm not 100 % sure if the models realized how absurd they looked trying to strike serious, high-fashion poses while wearing bright orange neck floaties. Actually I'm pretty sure they didn't because, as my girl Erica pointed out, this particular group of girls seems (what's the word she used? Oh yeah) DUMBER than usual.
After the runway challenge (that no one won) we met the girls one by one and, though I'm still embarrassed that I take notes during this silly show, there's no way I can remember all of them.
Some of the ones that stood out include Chantal (who I think actually prompted Erica's comment about them all looking dumber than usual) who has really long blond hair that is sure to get chopped off if she makes it to the episode where the girls get a makeover. There's also Heather, who suffers from Asperger's syndrome, a condition which leads to social awkwardness (judging from Heather's posture) that I know all about because it's what Jerry "Hands" Espenson suffers from on "Boston Legal". (On a related story, I watch too much TV.)
I also liked Lisa (pictured) the "dancer". I love how whenever a girl says she's a "dancer" in a hesitant way, it usually means she's a stripper, er exotic dancer. Lisa (who was a wreck during the final cut when they narrowed the field to 13 girls still in the running to become you know what) threw her sheepishness out the window as she inexplicably demonstrated her stripper, I mean, exotic moves on a fellow contestant. There's also Mila, who looks like she might pick up the title of "funny, overly enthusiastic girl with an accent" from Natasha of Cyle 8, and Victoria, the token "smart girl" from Yale, who's Ivy League education couldn't prevent her from getting seasick.
Then there's Ebony, who quickly established herself as the cocky/bitchy one who isn't there to make friends and other clichéd things. I was ready to dislike her until Tyra broke her down and make her cry (as only Tyra can) by bringing up Ebony's crack-addicted mother and maybe helping explain why she puts up such a tough front.
Speaking of Tyra, she showed up about halfway through the episode to reclaim her title as Most Insane Person Working In TV Today (MIPWITT) as she lip-synched for the girls on the cruise ship. I was 75% convinced it was actually a drag queen until she spoke and I realized it was really her. I didn't even mention the part where she bent over on all fours and pretended to receive a bikini wax(whoops, I just did).
Other than that, faux-hawked Marvita and Sabrina (who was challenging Ebony in terms of cockiness) made an impression — until they were cut following a beach photo shoot. Oh well.
And, there's not much more to say. The first episode is always tricky because you don't know any of these people. I wasn't really overly impressed with the premiere, but I have no doubt that in a few weeks I'll be fully immersed in this cyle.
So what'd you think of the premiere? Do you have any early favorites? Anybody you can't stand already? Don't be shy and don't pretend like you're not watching or can't find the CW on your cable (ok, so it always takes me a little bit of time too).
Also, I have Sarah, the mini "plus-size" model winning the whole thing (this is the year...I can feel it!)
(NOTE: the girl whose photo is featured with each entry will not always necessarily be the girl who was eliminated that week. In case you haven't watched yet, but you can't wait to read my witty insights, I wouldn't want to ruin the end of any episode just by you glancing at my blog post. That is all.)
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