Heroes: Thanks, But No Thanksgiving

Superpowered beings – they’re just like us!

In the latest episode of “Heroes”, we found out that they also stumble through awkward Thanksgiving dinners with their families. Of course, the turkey day gatherings on “Heroes” featured more time travel, arm slicing and attempted murders than real-life get-togethers. (Well, SLIGHTLY more attempted murders.)

Unfortunately, as with pretty much every episode of “Heroes”, there were two bad things for every thing the show did right.

For example, would anyone have objected if the entire hour focused on the Petrellis? Maybe that could have happened back in the days when this show was still a serious drama. If you recall, Peter and “Nathan” found out that the real Nathan had been killed and that Nathan’s consciousness was currently renting space in Sylar’s body. Angela Petrelli came over to spend Thanksgiving with her sons (it seems like we haven’t seen the great Cristine Rose in about a month). What followed was a series of tense and surprisingly heartbreaking scenes, especially when you consider how silly all of this material is.

At first she coolly lied about the dead body the brothers found last week in her not-so-secret storage shed (it was a shapeshifter, according to her) before eventually revealing that the main motivation for the Nylar switch was her guilt over not being able to save her son’s life. In the early years of this show, Peter was the more emo brother, but lately Nathan has (understandably) taken that mantle. He correctly surmised that whenever his mom and brother look at him they see the guy who murdered him. I think he was about to expand on that point, but Sylar broke through at that moment and reclaimed his body.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – god bless Zachary Quinto for being the one actor on this show who is enjoying himself. Sure, forcing Peter and Angela to sit and have Thanksgiving dinner with him was thoroughly silly, but he swung right back into super creepy territory when he planted that kiss on Angela. Right as he was about to saw her head open, Nathan reclaimed control of Nylar and flew away.

Oh brother! When Sylar made his big comeback I thought we were done with this nonsense. (Hallelujah!) Now it appears we have one or two more weeks. (Honestly, how long can this stretch this out?)

Noah was hosting his own Thanksgiving dinner for the Bennetts. Things got off to an encouraging start when we learned that Mr. Muggles was attending, but Lyle wasn’t. (Lyle sucks!) I also liked that the whole Lauren Gilmore (HRG’s co-worker who “went Haitian”) subplot from a few weeks ago wasn’t completely pointless. Apparently, he’s been following her all this time (whatever) and asked her over for Thanksgiving with Sandra and her new husband. More than anything, I like that no matter how much they’ve softened HRG this season, he can still be kind of a dick. (Lauren vs. Sandra’s new dog breeding husband – advantage Noah.)

Unfortunately, things spiraled out of control VERY quickly. Sandra was understandably jealous of Lauren, but it was absolutely reckless and stupid of her to reference Noah’s Primatech past with a civilian. Of course, a frustrated-with-her-inability-to-have-a-normal-life Claire (what else is new?) made Sandy look like a member of Mensa when she sliced her arm open and caused Sandy’s new hubby to faint.

Honestly, what are the show’s writers thinking? Thank goodness they brought it home in the end by having Noah invite Gretchen over for dinner, surprising Claire. (I like that he’s not even aware of the lesbian undertones there.) Not as encouraging is that Claire is headed toward the Sullivan Bros. carnival, even after her dad strongly warned her it could be dangerous.

Maybe, I’m just over anything involving the Sullivan Bros.

Samuel, who seemed to bring out his extra-heavy holiday guyliner, was still refusing to tell Hiro where he was keeping Charlie because, um, well there’s actually no good reason other that the show can’t pry Jayma Mays free from “Glee.”

The one interesting bit of info from the carnival storyline was the revelation that the rest of the carnies were apparently under the impression that Hiro was supposed to save Joseph’s life when he time traveled. To the surprise of no one, it was revealed that power-hungry Samuel was the one who killed Joseph. Although the scene where he accused Edgar was a bit rushed and confusing (why Edgar?!), there’s a little part of me that still thinks it’s super cool when Hiro freezes time.

Ah, Hiro. The character had made some progress after coming to terms with the brain tumor that no longer seems to be too much of a factor. Now he’s back to acting like an eight year old. Freezing time is cool. Throwing a whiny tantrum because Samuel won’t bring Charlie back is not cool. Turning away from a semi-nude Lydia like a clueless teenager is not cool, it’s stupid. Calling Samuel “Butterfly Man” is DEFINITELY not cool.

Also, why do Charlie’s whereabouts supercede everything else in this storyline? I know WE care about Hiro and his girlfriend, but why should the Sullivan Bros. crew have to sit on the knowledge that Samuel is a murderer just because Hiro needs to find his girlfriend?

Oh well.

So what’d you think of this episode? Lauren Gilmore?? Which writer on the staff is a Lauren Graham/Gilmore Girls fan? Finally, which crew would you like to join for Thanksgiving next year? (Ignore the fact that this show will likely be canceled next year.)

NFL 2009 Week 12 Thanksgiving picks

It’s Thanksgiving and football fans should be thankful that we get three games on Thursday.

(I’m glossing over the fact that only one of the games is really interesting and that I won’t be able to actually watch any of the action because I’ll be at work because I want to keep things positive.)

So yeah, where was I? Oh yeah, thankful! And you should be too. Let’s break the games down.

GREEN BAY @ DETROIT
If you predicted Detroit and Cleveland would play one of the most entertaining games of the year, raise your hand. (Stop lying, smartass.) Matthew Stafford threw for 5 TDs and more than 400 yards, while Calvin Johnson had more than 150 receiving yards and a score. Neither of these gentlemen are expected to play Thursday, so I’m going with Green Bay.

OAKLAND @ DALLAS
Damnit, I knew the Raiders were going to beat the Bengals last week! I was just too scared to pick the upset. In a related story, I’m too scared to pick them upsetting the Cowboys in Dallas. Don’t be surprised if more than one Cowboy runs for more than 100 yards.

N.Y. GIANTS @ DENVER
I’ve already expressed that I feel like the Giants are about to embark on an upswing that’ll take them into the playoffs. The question is whether or not I believe Denver can snap out of their four-game losing streak in time to make the playoffs themselves. I do NOT. Defenses have figured out how to defend them, and the Broncos have no answer so far. It’s pretty bad when last week a gimpy Kyle Orton had to replace a completely ineffective Chris Simms, who just had another incompletion while I was writing this sentence.

Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: Mommie (Not-so) Dearest

I don’t know about you, but I kina LOVE it when Shakespearean-trained British actors take on material that some might consider beneath them and class the joint up.

For example, I love that Ian McKellen walks around the X-Men movies wearing a cape and performs the role as if he were doing King Lear. It’s not so much that they elevate the material, it’s more that they bring the same fervor to junk that that they do to the stage, and I love them for that. (Also, see: the adult cast of the “Harry Potter” movies.)

“Nip/Tuck” got its own touch of class last Wednesday (sorry for the late recap) when Vanessa Redgrave reprised her role as Dr. Erica Naughton, Julia’s controlling mom and Sean’s erstwhile nemesis. I didn’t even realize that the show had really been missing a delicious villain until Redgrave/Erica showed up.

We caught up with her as she consulted Sean following his sorta-suicide attempt by long distance swim. I thought Sean had been pulling a Don Draper in the season 2 episode right before Don came home from California, but Erica got him to admit that he had initially tried to kill himself.

It didn’t take long for Erica to leave Sean stuck in a psychiatric hospital (where he had to be bailed out by Christian) and plotting on taking custody of Annie and Connor from Sean and Julia. In the space of the hour, she had convinced Matt to serve as a witness on her behalf and had fooled Sean into taking a swing at her new boy toy (played by Gilles Marini) to give her leverage.

I suppose the writers want us to think that Erica is trying to steal Julia’s life, but to be perfectly honest, I didn’t really need a reason. Redgrave was so commanding and delightfully devious that I would’ve been perfectly happy if it turned out that she wanted Annie and Connor just because she was bored.

The only downside is the fact that Redgrave’s awesomeness only enhances what an absolute snoozer Julia (played by Redgrave’s real-life daughter Joely Richardson) is. Having your mom come on your show and absolutely school you can’t be that fun. Then again, I’m sure the tables will soon be turned on Erica, especially given the fact that we still don’t know what her young hubby’s motivations are.

The other two subplots belonged to Christian and were sort of a mixed bag.

I know a lot of people were are probably rolling their eyes now that it looks like Kimber is going to come back to Christian after being engaged to Mike for a very brief (sickeningly sweet?) period of time. However, I agree with what Sean said a few episodes ago – Christian and Kimber are mirror images of each other. They’ll always be drawn to one another no matter what. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing for the characters remains to be seen (hint: it’s bad), but it feels genuine because that’s simply the way it is – these two will never get over each other.

Finally, I’m not saying that actor/actress Candis Cayne doesn’t make for a convincing woman. Hell, my “Crying Game” alarms didn’t start going off until barmaid Alexis Stone insisted Christian have anal sex with her. (If this were real life, then it could have just been that she enjoys anal sex, but since this is a TV show there HAD to be a reason and that was a clue.)

It’s just that hasn’t this show done the transsexual thing before (and better)? Did we really need what appears to be a one-off storyline where a character debates what gender identity really means? Mostly this storyline just made me miss Famke Janssen’s Ava Moore. Also, Alexis looks 1,000% more attractive as a woman.

So what’d you think of this episode? What’s Erica’s husband up to? How will Sean and Julia strike back? Finally, could this show possibly end with Christian and Kimber together?

Dancing with the Stars: Free(style) Fallin'

Mya deserves to win “Dancing with the Stars.” Mya SHOULD win “Dancing with the Stars.”

I don’t think Mya is going to win “Dancing with the Stars.”

Read on to find out why (I’ll give you a hint – FREESTYLE) as I breakdown part one of the two-part season finale, which concludes tonight.

Kelly Osbourne & Louis: Although Donny has actually been at the bottom of the leaderboard the last two weeks, Kelly was playing the role of “How the heck did I make it to the top 3?!” Carrie Ann stopped by and told Kelly what we’ve all been yelling at the TV all season – BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. She also gave Kelly some helpful tips in selling their tango, because I thought it was Kelly’s best performance of the season.

Unfortunately, her “I Will Survive” freestyle was as disastrous as her tango was solid. If the judges hadn’t all collectively agreed to throw away all their paddles with the number 7 or lower away, Kelly might have gotten a 6. That being said, I’m not completely mad at them for giving her straight 8s. Whereas she might actually burst into tears if this had happened two months ago, Kelly handled her numerous screw-ups magnificently. Her line about Louis pooping her out during a lift is an instant classic. She survived.

Mya & Dmitry: Remember Stacy Keibler? If you need a refresher, she was basically the Mya of season 2 – technically superior to the competition with a slightly aloof attitude. Stacy was mostly done in by a spectacularly lame freestyle routine and actually finished THIRD behind Jerry Rice and Drew Lachey.

I don’t believe Mya is going to finish third (hi Kelly), but her freestyle was so disappointingly lifeless that I think it may have lost her the crown. I totally agreed with the judges in that it seemed like the thing never got going. I’d actually say it’s something like the 15th best routine Mya has done on this show. The worst part is that it’s not her fault. Dmitry insisted they go with a “Hairspray” concept Mya wasn’t totally loving. Now, I’ve actually criticized Mya in this column for repeatedly second guessing her pro partner, but, really Dmitry?! Hairspray?! That movie came out two summers and FOUR “Dancing with the Stars” season ago. Way to be current! You definitely let your partner down.

It’s a shame too because Mya had been literally perfect up until that point. Her paso doble was appropriately fierce and on point, but I doubt most people will remember that – they’ll be thinking “Hairspray?!”

Donny Osmond & Kym: The door was left wide open for Donny to grab the title and I think he may have burst through. I didn’t love the choreography in his cha cha cha, but whatever spark the routine may have lacked, Donny made up for with his enthusiasm and excellent hip action. (Hip action is consistently the most lacking element from our celebs.) Thankfully, Bruno and Donny kept the sexual innuendo to a minimum during the former’s visit.

Donny and Kym’s freestyle could’ve been overwhelmed by its gimmickry, but it ended up being an absolute charmer. (LOVED the costume change at the beginning!) Their Broadway routine was fun, had a beginning, middle and end, and, most importantly, was expertly danced. Even Marie’s obligatory appearance in his rehearsal footage (look at my face!) was done in a funny way after last week’s awkward joke from Donny. I don’t know that it was a perfect 30, but it was far and away the best freestyle of the night.

Mega Mix: For the first time, the three remaining couples simultaneously performed the same choreography (waltz, samba, jive) side by side. It seemed like a good idea (did it really?) but in the end, it was mostly hard to tell which couple was actually off? For example, was Mya early or was Kelly lagging behind? (I actually think I know the answer to THAT one.) Like the judges, I was mostly impressed by how well Donny blended in with the two male pros. I actually would’ve give him the victory instead of Mya.

So what’d you think of this episode? Am I the only one who gets a little weirded out watching the judges actually walk around? Is it bad that I enjoyed Kelly’s freestyle more than Mya’s? Who do you have tonight – Jerry Rice or Michael Irvin? Finally, who do you think is going to win? (I’m going with Donny!)

Project Runway: And the Winner Is...

I don’t think anyone’s even pretending this has been the strongest season of “Project Runway” in the show’s run.

Still, the fact that I was mostly disappointed in the finale’s Bryant Park runway show tells me that, even after 13 episodes of mostly uninspired fashion, a part of me was STILL holding out for something spectacular to close out season 6.

The fact that the show’s resident villainess won didn’t even register for me. The main reason I was disappointed was because none of the three finalists delivered a collection (or even a single moment) that made me or my girlfriend Erica really say “wow.” I’m not even saying it had to be “wow” in a good way. I would’ve settled for “wow” in a crazy/disgusted/confused way. Unfortunately, the most striking fashion moment of the evening may have been how freaky deaky Ari Fish (the quirky girl who got kicked out first) looked with her mile-long eyelashes.

Irina, Carol-Hannah, and Althea did a solid job, but (call me naïve) I was hoping for a knockout.

Before the show, a good chunk of the episode was devoted to Carol-Hannah’s stomach flu, which flared up again big time. It was at this point that I realized how lucky Carol-Hannah was that the show decided to bring back those three booted designers to lend a helping hand because (if you believe the show’s editing) there’s no way she could’ve finished all her work by herself. (There was also a moment I thought Logan was going to ask Carol-Hannah out while he was comforting her.)

Anyway, after another hint of manufactured plagiarism (to the best of my knowledge you did NOT invent smeared makeup and smoky eye, Irina), it was on to the show.

Now, despite writing about this show for four seasons now (yikes, really?), I’ll be the first to admit that I really have no idea what I’m talking about when it comes to fashion.

I told you that to tell you this: I just don’t care for Althea’s style. I’m sure there’s something I’m missing out, but I’m not into the whole L.A. hipster, baggy trousers on parade scene. To me it looks sloppy. Still, I realize that’s a personal preference. What’s most damning to me is that I still, for the life of me, do NOT see any hint of the “sci-fi from the 1950’s” theme Althea was talking about. (The headbands maybe.)

That being said, Althea’s theme was still more apparent than Carol-Hannah’s (something about Duke University and fairies, right?) The reason I didn’t mind as much is because, in my opinion, Carol-Hannah produced the greatest amount of stunning pieces. More than a few of her dresses were simply spectacular – I just wished they would’ve flowed together better. Or at all.

Irina wrapped up the show with her line about surviving in New York City, which apparently consists of wearing black dominatrix gear and wearing tiny, black hats with details that made them unique. (To be honest, it looked more sci-fi than Althea's.) Irina’s collection CLEARLY had the strongest theme and was the most cohesive.

Still, when Nina Garcia once again chided her for not using color (“We talked about that”) and gave her a withering look, I thought she was done.

In fact, I would’ve bet money that Carol-Hannah was going to win – that shows what I know, since she finished third. At first, I was incredulous, but after further consideration you really DO have to deduct major points from C-H for not coming up with a strong enough theme/point of view for a collection.

That being said, I STILL think Carol-Hannah should’ve finished no lower than second. The judges praised Althea for being plugged into what’s hip and current, so I guess I just don’t care for the way hip people currently dress.

This left Irina, who at least attempted to do something (sorta) outlandish as the deserving winner. She was clearly this season’s “villain”, but I never really hated her. In a season devoid of a breakout personality, I thought she made the show more interesting by saying the (mean) things we were all thinking. Also, she backed up all her smack talk.

Most importantly, her victory made her dad cry, which was fantastic because the guy looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but on Lifetime TV last week during Tim Gunn’s visit.

So what’d you think of this episode? Anyone else notice “Top Model” winner Jaslene? Did guest judge Suzy Menkes remind anyone else of a combination between Susan Boyle and Mrs. Doubtfire? (At first I was kinda bummed that there wasn’t a celeb judge, but then I realized we’ve had celeb judges all season.) Finally, did the right person win?

Thanks for reading along all these months. I’ll meet you guys back here in January when season 7 kicks off, ok?

Heroes: Invasion of the Body Snatchers

You’re not going to believe this, but the driving force this season behind Samuel Sullivan’s quest to gather as many of our beloved(?) Heroes as possible was – a stupid decision by Mohinder Suresh!

(Quick disclaimer: the following critique is directed at the way the character of Mohinder has been written, NOT Sendhil Ramamurthy. Sure, Ramamurthy is no Marlon Brando, but no actor – whether it’s Brando, Johnny Depp or Laurence Olivier - could make chicken salad out of the chicken shit material this actor has always been handed.)

This week, we got our annual “Why is this season’s bad guy doing what he’s been doing?” episode (previous installments have showcased Gabriel Gray, Adam Monroe and Arthur Petrelli). We knew Samuel Sullivan had killed Mohinder (yay!), but we needed to find out why.

One of the things this episode did really well was bring our core characters together in a meaningful way for the first time this season.

After some truly painful dialogue (“do you ever think about running away and joining a carnival?”) Tracy’s power started freaking out on her (for no apparent reason) and she went to find Noah for help. Instead, she ran into Claire who tried to calm her down and warm her up with some tea and a hot bath (Ali Larter in her underwear in T-minus 3…2…) Tracy ended up freezing Claire solid by accident and comically snapped her foot off while trying to help her. The only thing funnier was Noah’s “this is only a little weird” reaction upon seeing his daughter’s frozen, amputated foot on his coffee table when he came home. (It DOES make for an eye-catching centerpiece.) Even a little Jack Coleman is excellent.

As bad as some of the actual writing was, I liked the IDEA of Claire and Tracy putting aside their repetitive (and doomed) quests for a normal life and dish a little about their abilities. In the end, Tracy met up with Samuel and seemed to be on the verge of joining the carnival. With Gretchen seemingly out of the picture for good, can Claire be far behind?

Still, the team-up I enjoyed the most was the Petrelli Bros. reunion.

Over the last couple of years, Nathan and Peter’s relationship has been understandably strained, so it was great to see the Petrelli boys come together to help each other out as soon as they figured out their mom was up to her usual shenanigans. This was tempered only slightly by the fact that Nathan isn’t really Nathan at all, but that’s beside the point.

The Haitian tried to reveal the whole Nylar plot to Peter on the down low, but Peter brought Nathan along anyway (aww) to the creepy storage facility where they discovered – real Nathan’s body! Putting aside the fact that real Nathan’s body should have absolutely been burned or buried, this scene was very well played by both actors, especially Adrian Pasdar. (I’m not buying the whole “Angela kept Nathan’s body because she’s sentimental/emotional” explanation – the reason she kept the body in a storage facility that is easily accessible is because it was a hell of a lot more convenient for the writers to have Peter and Nylar stumble upon it. It’s stuff like this that keeps holding “Heroes” back.)

Anyway, the brothers went to find Matt Parkman after Nylar got a flash of a memory of him. Parkman was in critical condition in a hospital, but the Petrellis slipped by the INCREDIBLY distracted armed guard and into his room. After Peter healed him, Matt woke up and tried to get them to run away before Sylar jumped into his body. (If all Sylar had to do to take over Matt’s body was touch him, why did it take him so long to do it initially? Whatever!) With Sylar now in Matt’s body, he implored Nathan/Sylar to touch him so he could get his old body back. (Oy, my head hurts!) The two only grazed each other before both brothers had to flee the hospital.

Nylar (or was it Sylar? Or was it Nathan) tried to get Peter away from him, but Peter touched him and took his flying ability so he could keep up. I also wonder if Sylar didn’t take the opportunity to jump from Nylar’s body to Peter. That would explain why Nathan appeared to be in control of his own body by the end of the episode, despite clearly making contact with Mylar (Matt + Sylar)

I realize I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer. However, “Heroes” so often changes the rules of its own universe that things become as muddled as my last two paragraphs. (I mean, I SAW the episode, and they don’t make sense to me!) Characters in this show don’t do things because they make sense – they do them to manufacture conflict and to keep the story chugging along.

Which brings us to Mohinder.

Apparently he had a nice life (and a pretty wife) teaching in India. Still, his father’s findings from Coyote Sands decades earlier were nagging at him and (being Mohinder) he threw everything away. He was able to construct a compass that led him from India to the Sullivan Bros. carnival where we finally met Samuel’s brother Joseph.

We got a little back story when we learned that Joseph had dedicated his life to keeping Samuel’s power in check. Mohinder warned him about Samuel’s potential to become scarily powerful, but Joseph asked him to leave. Samuel, who had overheard Mohinder, followed him and killed him after Mohinder refused to elaborate.

Except that Hiro had successfully traveled back in time to stop Mohinder’s death (boo!). Oh well, at least the time-stopping effect is ALWAYS cool. I get that Mohinder wanted to stop Samuel immediately, but if Hiro wanted to stop him from going after Samuel in the past, why didn’t he just bring him back to the present? Why did he have to lock him up in a mental institution for eight weeks (not that I’m complaining, mind you)?

Hiro was able to salvage the film detailing Chandra Suresh’s work and Samuel’s birth, but it remains to be seen if Samuel will give Hiro back the love of his life Charlie. Overall, I was a little underwhelmed by Samuel’s motives. His confrontation with Mohinder was WAY too brief and I’m not exactly sure what he thinks he’s going to learn from the film that he doesn’t already know. Maybe, we’ll eventually see what turns him from such an angry, out-of-control guy into the smooth operator with the inconsistent accent.

So what’d you think of this episode? Am I being too critical of the show? (I don’t mean to be, it’s just that these inconsistencies take me right out of the show?) Is Sylar in Peter or Nathan’s body? Why did Hiro pick a mental asylum in Florida? Finally, have we seen the last of Mohinder? (Alas, I think he’s got an episode or two more left in him)

America's Next Top Recap: Braving the Elements

They had me going there for a second.

Literally, for a second or two when Tyra paused right before she revealed WHO(!) was America’s Next (First) Top (Petite) Model, I actually stopped fidgeting with my dinner and looked up at the TV to see the announcement, even though it was pretty obvious who should/was going to/deserved to win.

Since there were two finalists instead of three, this finale was slower-paced than usual (no mid-episode elimination before the runway show). Still, since Nicole and Laura were far and away my two favorite contestants in this cycle (and in the last couple of cycles, actually), I didn’t mind too much.

Ok, I DID mind a little.

Without the likes of Erin, Jennifer or Sundai to mildly annoy me, it became more apparent then ever that Nicole and Laura’s speaking voices can be pretty irritating in their own ways. The only reason I noticed this is because the first 15 minutes of the episode was dedicated to the usual “we can’t believe we’re in the final two.” At least, it was an interesting contrast: Nicole’s slow, deliberate monotone vs. Laura’s bubbly, enthusiastic grammatical errors.

The first challenge was to shoot a Cover Girl commercial about two friends hiking in the Hawaiian woods with mascara that had a surprisingly low amount of lesbian overtones. (They were undertones, really.) While one girl was filming the commercial with Mr. Jay, the other was taking her beauty shot with Nigel.

Each of the girls absolutely rocked their beauty shots, though I have to give Nicole the edge for still looking fantastic despite having her signature curly hair straightened out. The commercial went considerably less smoothly with Laura’s dyslexia flaring up again, and Nicole’s deliberate diction and slow delivery coming off as snobbish. I didn’t get a snob vibe at all – I thought that commercial was just, well, Nicole. (Tyra agreed later on.) Laura, too, conquered her dyslexia and delivered a charming (if slightly slurred) commercial.

After a photo shoot at the house for Seventeen magazine, Tyra stopped by for one of those chats in which she tries to make the girls cry. (It’s almost as if the tears of young women give her power – or maybe I’ve seen her talk show one too many times.) Nicole obviously wasn’t going to give Tyra what she needed, but once Laura started talking about her beloved grandma – jackpot!

The final challenge was a runway show that featured previous cycle winner Teyona, the return of Erin, Jennifer, Sundai and Brittany, and Eddie Murphy’s daughter (huh?!) I’m not really sure why the eliminees were brought back other than to make us think that Laura had a chance of winning since three of them said they were rooting for her. (Methinks they were still a little bitter about having their asses kicked by Nicole.)

The runway show – featuring fire, water, wind (but not earth – or heart) – got underway and things did NOT look good for Nicole and her aggressive, shoulder-y walk. (To be fair, it DID seem to improve throughout the show.) Laura, meanwhile, looked fantastic, particularly at the end of the wind portion. (It was so good that the editors used that shot about four times.) The show ended with the Top Model girls writhing under a sprinkler. (I’m assuming Eddie Murphy missed that part since he probably bailed out early to make a horrible movie.)

When the Tyra, Ms. J and Nigel were breaking down the runway show, I was convinced the advantage would clearly go to Laura. However, Tyra and Nigel got over their initial horror at Nicole’s walk and praised it for being distinctive and “signature.” And when you really think about it, while Laura’s walk was good, there really wasn’t anything memorable about it.

The judges also flipped through a few of the finalists past photos and Nicole won every head-to-head matchup except for the Cirque du Soleil challenge.

As a result, Nicole was named the winner of the first all-petite cycle of “America’s Next Top Model.” (Though she’s actually taller than cycle 3 winner Eva.) What can I say that I haven’t said already? Nicole was the best model throughout the competition and deserved the win.

That’s actually why I was nervous and worried that she wouldn’t win since this show has a great track record for not giving the victory to the best girl. As we see in the “Top Models in Action” segments, some of the more successful working models on this show are also-rans and if Nicole had lost, I have no doubt she would’ve found work.

Still, she won and I’m happy for her, if only for the idea that the best person got what they deserved. Also, kudos to Laura for being a great contestant, absolutely hilarious and one of the sweetest girls this show has ever seen. This cycle may have started off slow, but it’s hard to argue with the result.

So what’d you think of this episode? What’d you think of this cycle? Would you have given Laura the win? Finally, did you kinda miss the Auto-Tune-riffic “Top Model” theme at the end? (I know I did.)

Thanks for reading along this season/cycle.

NFL 2009 Week 11 picks

Bye bye, byes!

We’re done with the annoying off-weeks, so that means your favorite team is playing ever Sunday (or Thursday or Monday or Saturday) from here on out.

I did ok with my picks last week (10-5 week, 96-48 season). This week, I want to do great!

MIAMI @ CAROLINA
This is a sneakily interesting game. (When the hell did Carolina get to 4-5?!) I’m going with the “surging” Panthers mostly because the Dolphins are going to be hurting big time without RB/Wildcat specialist Ronnie Brown (pictured, left) for the rest of the year.

WASHINGTON @ DALLAS
I LOVE how frisky Washington was last week and, even after last week’s bad loss in Green Bay, the Cowboys are feeling a little too good about themselves. A loss at home to the Skins ought to REALLY wake them up.

SAN FRANCISCO @ GREEN BAY
Sorry, but barely (bearly?) beating sorry Chicago at home is not enough for me to hop back on the bandwagon.

PITTSBURGH @ KANSAS CITY
Pittsburgh was going to win this game anyway, but you’ve got to think they’ll be extra annoyed after being totally shut down by the Bengals last week.

ATLANTA @ N.Y. GIANTS
The Giants have already gone through what the Cowboys are about to go through and what the Eagles are going through – the “what is THE MATTER with them?” phase. Watch out!

NEW ORLEANS @ TAMPA BAY
It really is a shame our defense is so horrendous, because that rookie QB can play a little.

BUFFALO @ JACKSONVILLE
To paraphrase my Miami @ Carolina item, when the hell did Jacksonville get to 5-4?! It’ll be 6-4 after they beat Buffalo, led by…whoever’s coaching them now. (Like you’d know the guy’s name without Googling…it IS a guy, right? It HAS to be, otherwise I would’ve definitely heard of the first female head coach in the NFL.)

INDIANAPOLIS @ BALTIMORE
I hate to repeat myself, but I’m just going to go ahead and keep picking Indy until they lose because I like being right.

SEATTLE @ MINNESOTA
Even if Seattle weren’t kinda terrible on the road, I’d take the Vikes.

ARIZONA @ ST. LOUIS
Arizona’s starting to put things together – which is why I’m going with the suddenly lively Rams! (Arizona won’t put the NFC West away just yet, forcing us to pay attention to that horrendous division until the very end.)

N.Y. JETS @ NEW ENGLAND
For the record, I liked Belichick going for it on 4th and 2. He put the responsibility for that game squarely on his shoulders. If he punts and the Colts drive 70 yards for the win, people blame the Pats D, and not the coach. By doing what he did, he put the target on HIS back, despite the fact that there was no law that said the Patriots D couldn’t have risen to the occasion and, you know, stopped the Colts from marching 29 yards into the end zone. Now all the heat is on Belichick, who can definitely take it because it’s pretty clear he doesn’t give a damn what you or I think.

Oh yeah, this game – I say the Pats are a little annoyed and win by a score of about 48-7.

CINCINNATI @ OAKLAND
I WANT to pick Oakland for an upset because the Bengals are primed to get complacent and lose – but the Raiders are just SO bad.

SAN DIEGO @ DENVER
I see Denver has begun their traditional late-season collapse early this year. Is this more or less painful for Broncos fans?

PHILADELPHIA @ CHICAGO
And now’s about the time the Eagles put a nice little run together before Donovan McNabb and company break fans’ hearts in December/January.

TENNESSEE @ HOUSTON
I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. I’m going to keep picking Tennessee until they lose! (Ok, so no one has ever said that, but I think they’ll beat Houston.)

Dancing with the Stars: Technical Knockout

After last week’s surprisingly terrific episode, we were due for a letdown.

Each of the four remaining couples performed three — actually, more like two and a half — routines during the semifinal round. Donny’s stumbles and struggles during his show-opening tango turned out to be an omen for the rest of the evening, which just felt like it was missing…something.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Instead, let’s talk about each couple, in order of appearance.

Donny Osmond & Kym: Gilles Marini stopped by for a visit and informed Donny that the key to the tango is making the audience uncomfortable. I’m not sure bumbling through the tango after Kym got her dress caught in her heel was what Gilles was talking about, but this tango was definitely uncomfortable to watch, so mission accomplished!(?) The dance was almost as uncomfortable as Donny’s over-the-top, self-deprecating reaction right afterward. Then again, even that wasn’t as bad as Donny’s (failed) humorous attempt to blame the whole thing on his sister Marie.

Fortunately, his next two dances were a clear improvement. His samba was adequately spry and lively (though a little goofy). The third performance by each couple was the abbreviated knockout dance they all had to prepare a few weeks ago in case they were in jeopardy. Donny and Kym inexplicably dressed up as watermelons and did a very good jitterbug. The fact that this was a short performance helped Donny because the jitterbug is relentless. Despite being in the bottom of the leaderboard again, I’d bet money that he’s going to the finals. I just don’t feel it’s a sure thing after his increasingly bizarre post-dance behavior.

Joanna Krupa & Derek: Brooke Burke became the second DWTS-alum in a row to stop by a rehearsal package and helped Joanna deal with the often-intense Derek by having them impersonate each other. (Hey, he DOES pull his hair straight up when he’s exasperated!) I don’t know whether the “role playing” helped or not, but I thought Joanna’s waltz was pretty terrific.

I wish I could say the same about their cha cha. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again – Derek Hough is a genius. Usually I say this because of his terrific choreography. Today I’m saying it because he’s smart enough to realize that Joanna has NO hip action, so he decided to dress her in bright red fringe pants that give the illusion of hip-action. BRILLIANT! Her knockout salsa was an improvement, even if it looked just like their mambo from a few weeks ago. (And I definitely could’ve done without the “rock and roll” gesture Derek flashed at one point – what are you doing, man?!)

Kelly Osbourne & Louis: Remember how last week we were introduced to Kelly’s adorable, puffy little dogs? Well, I hope you didn’t get too attached to both of them. Kelly soldiered through her grief and delivered a sexy, capable rumba (the hardest dance to master, in my opinion) right up until the very end when they screwed up a bit. I even liked the bit where Louis hung back and creepily stared at Kelly while she did her solo.

I wasn’t as big a fan of her quickstep as the rest of the judges were. There were parts where it looked like Kelly was simply running instead of dancing, and there was a portion she and Louis weren’t together at all. Her cha cha knockout dance had potential to be great, but it ended before it really got started.

Mya & Dmitry: If Mya’s main concern is that she doesn’t look like she care enough or has to try as hard as the others, then her rehearsal package did her no favor. I know ALL the rehearsal packages are staged, but the whole “Rules” segment (late fees, pushups for mistakes) was off-puttingly phony. Fortunately, her excellent dancing made up for all of this.

Yes, the couple’s waltz was lovely and almost perfectly danced, but I want to talk about her second round salsa. It’s not only the best performance of the season, but it’s one of the best routines I’ve ever seen on this show. Finally, Mya seemed to really let herself go and got down! I think even Len was so stunned that he didn’t realize he admitted that he’d been looking at her buttocks the entire time. Her knockout cha cha was also excellent (now HERE’S a celeb that can move her hips). Finally, it appears Carrie Ann has taken on the “hater” mantle from Len in regards to this couple. I get that you don’t want to give them a 30 anytime, but her critiques don’t even really make sense.

So what’d you think of this episode? Is Gilles Marini the best male celeb dancer this show has ever seen? (I say, yes — sorry Mario Lopez.) Which contestant’s background video package was the best? (I don’t know why, but Donny’s son talking about how the 80’s were rough on his dad cracked me up.) Finally, who’s making it to the finals? (Mya’s obviously in, the judges clearly want Joanna and Derek in, so it comes down to Kelly and Donny. I’m guessing Donny’s fanbase pushes him past Kelly into the finals.)

Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: Tough Love

For more than a second there, I actually thought Matt was going to kill himself.

I’ve covered the many ways “Nip/Tuck” has gone off the rails in its last season (I swear I mean that as a compliment). So I don’t think it would’ve been completely out of the question to have one of the show’s original characters off himself rather than go to jail.

Christian didn’t have a whole lot of screen time in this episode, but most of his scenes were dedicated to his quest to give Matt some tough love.

He’d helped fix Matt up after the erstwhile mime had gotten himself shot trying to rob a convenience store. Enter one of primetime TV’s dampest wet blankets, Julia McNamara. (No offense to Joely Richardson, but Julia DEFINITELY became more of a drag over the years than she was initially.)

Sean — in a trance following the disappearance of his wife and after narrowly escaping death — wasn’t interested in sending Matt to prison. Christian eventually convinced Julia that a prison sentence might be the only thing that could help Matt. And considering how consistently horrible Matt’s life has been, I think he might be better off in prison.

If nothing else, Matt’s had a prison sentence coming from a long time considering that he’s made crystal meth, been involved in a hit-and-run, and was involved in the murder of his ex-girlfriend’s bigoted father. And that’s just the stuff I thought of off the top of my head!

Overhearing Christian’s plans, Matt ditched the hospital bed and tried to pick up some of his leftover miming money before he was busted by Sean. This led to the most touching scene in the episode. (Nicely played by both actors.) Sean lamented not being a better father, but Matt manned up and took responsibility for being a screw up. The two hugged and Sean let him go.

Matt stopped by to say goodbye to Jenna, and Kimber improbably asked to come along to Mexico. I felt stupid not guessing that Christian had put her up to it — especially after that scene from the previews with Matt and Christian in the same car — but it was a nice twist nonetheless. Matt threatened to shoot Christian and ran away again, until his wound started bleeding profusely. He appeared to reach for his gun, which is when I became convinced he was going to end it.

Instead, he called Sean who came over to fix him. Unfortunately for Matt, Sean also brought half of the California state troopers with him, leading to his arrest. I’m interested to see what they do with Matt for the rest of the series run. I don’t see how he avoids a jail sentence, but does that mean the rest of his scenes are going to have him handcuffed in some depressing interrogation room?

Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, since a dank room in a prison gave us this episode’s best scene.

Matthew Glave — a.k.a Drew Barrymore’s jerky fiancé from “The Wedding Singer — was arrested for the murder of Teddy Rowe.

If you recall, Teddy had the worst luck in the world last week when she not only failed to kill Sean and his kids, but she also wandered over to a serial killer’s campsite. Glenn Gulia asked to meet with Sean and told him about Teddy’s plans to kill him and his kids. He then asked that Sean thank him for killing his wife (and saving his life) which was fantastically twisted. (And Glave was great!)

Sean understandably attacked him, but got a sucker punch to the gut when the police showed him all of Teddy’s past lives (and all her dead ex-husbands). I was hoping the show would mix in a photo of Katee Sackhoff as Teddy (hey she changed her appearance!) but I suppose they were just never going to acknowledge the jarring change in actresses/personality of the character.

That being said, I was pretty happy with the way they wrapped up the Teddy storyline. Kudos to Rose McGowan and the dozen or so different locations Teddy’s body is probably located.

So what’d you think of this episode? Were you into patient of the week Abigail Sullivan? (I thought the “parasitic twin” plot was interesting and appropriately icky for this show, but after “Enigma” and “Jenny Juggs” I’m kind of tired of the surgeries predictably backfiring because the patients can’t cope.) Finally, was Julia out of line when she chided Sean for his poor judgment? (She had a point, but the guy had just barely gotten out alive and his wife was dead – it came off a little cold.)

Conflict of Interest: Wes Welker edition

It’s crunch time in the fantasy football season.

I’m lucky enough to not be completely out of it in either league, but I NEED to win games from here on out if I want to go to the postseason.

That means I’ll be hoping all of my players in both leagues have solid games because I can’t really afford to tank ANY games.

This week, I face Wes Welker in my Yahoo League where I’m 5-4 and clinging to the final playoff spot, but I own him in my Yahoo Plus League where I’m 4-5 and fading fast.

The natural inclination would be to hope Welker has a monster game for me, so I can climb back to .500 in my Yahoo Plus League. However, receivers don’t get nearly as many points in the Yahoo Plus League as they do in the Yahoo League. So if Welker has a big game, he’ll get me considerably less points than he’ll get my opponent in my other league.

Since Welker is arguably the most consistent receiver in the league, I’m hoping he has a typical (as opposed to extraordinary) game. So…

Dream statline: 7 catches for 79 yards and 0 TDs.

Heroes: Body Control

(Sigh)

It seems like every time “Heroes” is on the brink of doing something awesome, the show does something to undermine itself.

Let’s jump right in and talk about the thoroughly unnecessary Mylar storyline. If you’re just tuning in, Sylar(‘s consciousness) turned the tables on Parkman last time and invaded his body, leaving Matt to helplessly follow along as Mylar made his way to New York.

In the episode’s second-biggest twist, this stuff turned out to be pretty entertaining! I enjoyed the combination of editing and acting by Zachary Quinto and Greg Grunberg in conveying Sylar walking around in Matt’s body (with its questionable upper body strength). Matt(‘s consciousness) retained his own brain-bending abilities (it’s easier if you don’t ask) and had the advantage early. Sylar regained the upper hand by reminding Matt that he’s willing to kill people and started committing murders in Parkman’s body.

Parkman finally got tired of getting owned throughout this entire season and decided to commit a murder of his own – his own! (The redundancy police just arrested me.) He forced his body to bait the cops into shooting him (pictured, left), technically resulting in both a murder and a suicide! Sacrificing himself and killing Sylar(‘s consciousness), would’ve been a fantastically noble end for a character that has long outlived his usefulness.

Except that the writers cut to an ambulance where Parkman (presumably back in his own body) was clinging to his life.

(Double sigh)

Fortunately, the other two storylines were somewhat more satisfying.

Peter has been going around using his new healing power to save as many people as he can. Predictably, this is taking a physical toll on him. (When’s he going to learn that he can’t save everyone?)

Emma didn’t need her power to help anyone out. (Not that her power would’ve been much help.) She used her medical school dropout (go back to high school) background to help out at the hospital after a grisly train wreck. By the end of the episode, she seemed resolved to go back to school and help people that way. It’s interesting to have a superpowered person on this show help people by NOT using her abilities, but I wonder how they’ll keep Emma involved in the show.

Even better was the Claire/Noah storyline, which crossed paths with Samuel and his endless quest to creep up on people.

I liked that the writers didn’t completely ignore the fact that those two annoying sorority girls SAW Claire get impaled during their scavenger hunt. That problem was quickly resolved when Claire called Noah and the two girls “went Haitian.” (I love that phrase now, and welcome back Jimmy Jean-Louis.)

I also really dug the fact that Gretchen was extremely and appropriately freaked out by the fact that Invisible Becky was trying to kill her. (“What if she’s here waiting to kill me…invisibly?”) I felt pretty bad for Claire when Gretchen left, even after Claire took stronger measures than baby powder to keep her safe. I feel bad, but I really can’t blame Gretchen.

It was around that time that Samuel showed up for his next stop in his seemingly interminable recruitment tour. He gave Claire his “come be accepted” pitch, while Noah went to the sorority house to track down Becky.

This was around the time that the episode unleashed its best twist. All this time, the reason Becky had been targeting Claire is to get to Noah, who was responsible for the death of her father. (I should’ve seen it coming, since it was Noah’s face that had shown up on Lydia’s back a few weeks ago.)

There were some really good father-daughter moments in this episode between Claire and Noah. (I liked the little smile he gave Claire when she asked Samuel if he really believed she’d trust him more than her dad.) It’s a good thing they had those moments because Noah was a few seconds away from killing Becky when she ambushed them in the end of the episode. He ended up sparing Becky and Samuel’s life and Claire went back to her lonely dorm.

Oh, I almost forgot – Adrian Pasdar is back! (For now.)

So what’d you think of this episode? When is Zachary Quinto going to cut his hair? (The way it constantly falls all over his face HAS to be annoying.) Why was that little girl passed out all by herself? (At least she was helpfully unconscious in a storage closet.) Do you think we’ve seen the last of Gretchen? Finally, does this show have the guts to kill Parkman for good?

Project Runway: Road Trip

The first half of every “Project Runway” season finale is always one of my least favorite episodes.

There’s hardly any sewing or workroom drama and, obviously, there’s no runway show or elimination. On top of that, we know there’s a “To Be Continued” coming, so it’s hard to get totally invested in this hour without looking ahead.

Fortunately, what these episodes DO have is a healthy dose of Tim Gunn. We watched the beloved mentor visit each of the three finalists 10 weeks after the last challenge.

First up was a trip to snowy Huntington, N.Y. (seriously, I’m pretty sure Tim needed a snowmobile to get to her yard) where Carol-Hannah had moved from Charleston. Her collection was inspired by the Duke University campus she visited on her trip up to New York mixed in with a dash of fairy tales and general willowy-ness. Carol-Hannah displayed her amazing versatility by showing Tim that she’d made pants!

Honestly, the highlight of this trip was Tim slapping on an apron (that didn’t cover his white shirt) and helping make biscuits for a meal with Carol-Hannah’s family.

Up next, Tim went to Irina’s NYC apartment which was as tiny and cramped as Carol-Hannah’s house was lush and open. Irina’s inspiration came from Brooklyn’s Coney Island, the borough she moved to when her family relocated from the republic of Georgia.

This visit seemed to show off a soft(er) side of Irina. I also got the distinct impression that her mom is considerably more supportive than her dad, who was giving off “I wish my daughter would get a REAL job” or “I wish she would marry a responsible man and settle down” vibes from his seat at the table

The last stop was a trip to Dayton, Ohio, home of Althea and (apparently) shoddy elevators. (Egads!) Althea said her collection was inspired by strong women in sci-fi. While I thought her pieces stood out the most and her collection is probably the funkiest out of the three finalists, I really don’t see it. In a semi-related story, hers was also the collection Tim seemed most concerned about.

With the visits done, the show still had half an hour to fill, so the producers did their best to manufacture some drama.

Irina was informed that she could not use the copyrighted images of Coney Island in her collection which bummed her out, but ultimately proved to be a non-issue. Carol-Hannah contracted a nasty (contagious!) stomach virus that forced Irina and Althea to share the same physical space for a prolonged period of time. (Awkward!) Sorry, but as sick as Carol-Hannah looked in the second half of the episode, I never believed for a second that she wasn’t going to show up or drop out of the competition.

After a surprise visit/pep talk from Michael Kors and Nina Garcia (you guys can show up to the workroom, but you can’t be bothered to attend judging?!) the twist we all knew was coming was revealed: the designers would have to create a 13th look for their collection.

The designers would also have help from previous contestants. Althea went first and picked Logan (much to Carol-Hannah’s chagrin), who I guess she forgave for the zippered collar fiasco. Irina selected BFF Gordana and Carol-Hannah was stuck with Christopher. As bad as Christopher and Logan were toward the end of their run, I don’t think they’ll have much of a (negative) effect on the finalists — their problems were more conceptual than anything, and I doubt they’ll be asked to do anything more than sew like crazy.

We ended the episode with a trip to Mood 1.0 and with Carol-Hannah barfing her guts up in the toilet.

From what we saw in this episode, it seems like Althea has the most divisive collection, while Irina’s doesn’t appear to have too much variety (all black, all the time). As a result, I’m predicting a Carol-Hannah victory (assuming she survives).

Sorry if I don’t sound terribly excited. I like Carol Hannah, and I’ll be happy if she wins.

It’s just that this season has been more about rewarding the people who screwed up the least rather than rewarding excellence. To her credit, Carol-Hannah has screwed up the least throughout the season and will probably win.

So what’d you think of this episode? Were you as annoyed as I was when Irina’s parents were subtitled, even though we could pretty much understand everything they were saying? Finally, who do you think should and will win?

America's Next Top Recap: Making Waves

Sometimes, the good guys DO win.

Believe me, “America’s Next Top Model” is probably the last place I expected to have this life-affirming lesson confirmed.

Since it’s the last episode before the season/cycle finale, we were treated to the obligatory “I really want this”, “I can’t believe I made it this far”, “I don’t want to go home NOW” cliché-fest.

Fortunately, this is “Top Model” – so there was a lot of crazy crap in store to break up the boredom.

In her continuing, paradoxical quest to teach these girls the art of dance and then criticize their photos for “looking too much like a dancer”, Tyra sent the girls for a hip hop hula lesson from a rather mannish instructor. (Sorry, but she WAS!) Apparently, “hip hop hula” is not so much a fusion of the two styles as it is hula followed by (needle scratching on record sound) hip hop.

The girls had to learn a routine which they would perform with the HHH dancers. The routine would also include a solo, in which the girls would use dance to express deep emotions like “love”, “determination” and “awkwardness.” (Ok, so that last one was just Nicole.)

Erin (and her dance/cheerleading background) took charge, and things went about as well as when Ashley (with HER dance background) tried to choreograph a routine during the Benny Ninja challenge. (The common factor in both instances – rhythmically-retarded Nicole!) Then again, maybe if Erin hadn’t been so brusque and bossy (she just can’t help it!) things might have gone better.

Nicole was predictably terrible, but thankfully had a good sense of humor when Ms. J mocked her. Jennifer had gone first, and did an ok job. Erin nailed the HHH portion, but her solo was mostly unwatchable. Laura unleashed her inner krumper (seriously, she’s got skillz!) and won the weekly challenge - a return trip back to Hawaii. (Did anybody else assume this meant a friend from back home, not one of her competitors?) Laura chose Jennifer (who had taken to yelling IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER CONFESSIONALS!)

The photo shoot for the week was inspired by Pele, goddess of volcanoes. (NOT by the greatest soccer player of all time, though THAT would’ve been interesting.) Apparently, Pele spent a lot of her time standing on rocks at the edge of the ocean and waiting for waves to dramatically crash around her. Mr. Jay also announced that TWO girls would be going home. (dun, dun, DUN!)

Jennifer went first and struggled, mostly because she stubbornly refused to get off her tip-toes. Nicole followed her and did amazingly. (In other news, the sky is blue.) Laura seemed to struggle mightily enough to convince me she was going to be sent packing. Erin went last and had a mean look on her face (she’s mean, what do you expect?) until she decided to sing a song to herself in her head. (A pop song “teenagers listen to,” said teenager Erin.) Why didn’t Erin tell us tell us the song? Would the CW have to pay for the music rights if she did? (I told you they were strapped for cash!)

For the first time I wasn’t a fan of ANY of the pictures shown at panel.

Though it was obvious Nicole did the best job, I felt like Tyra chose a more subdued photo of her simply to create doubt as to whether or not she’d make the finals. (It didn’t work.)

Jennifer, Laura and Erin stepped up with only one spot open in the top 2. The nicest thing they could say about Jennifer’s picture was that her skin looked good. Erin’s picture was the best out of this three, but Tyra mentioned that the rest of her film was crap. The judges seemed to really admire Laura’s shot, but, to be honest, I kind of hated it. Her legs looked shorter than they are and her face looked a lot more startled and put-off than sexy.

That being said, I was ecstatic that Laura earned that second spot in the finale. (I literally high-fived my girlfriend!) Not only are these the two best competitors – watching Jennifer’s montage at the end made me realize that none of her photos were really very good – but they’re also my absolute favorite contestants in this cycle. I mean, who else but Laura could make not knowing what “covet” means charming?

So what’d you think of this episode? What exactly was the point of eliminating two people and NOT having a final 3? Finally, who do you think will win the finale? Though Nicole is an overwhelming favorite, I keep hearing a nagging voice telling me that the judges want Laura (and what they think is a personality superior to Nicole’s) to win.

NFL 2009 Week 10 picks

The NFL is rolling out its neo-traditional, late-season (often deadly dull) Thursday night games (that a good chunk of the country can’t watch without the NFL Network).

Yay!

Of course, that also means I have to get off my lazy butt earlier in the week and give you my picks (7-6 last week, 86-43 overall).

Since it’s week 10, I’ve decided to bring back revive my favorite/only gimmick. Let’s break these games down in 10 words.

CHICAGO @ SAN FRANCISCO
The loser is probably out of the playoffs — sorry Niners.

NEW ORLEANS @ ST. LOUIS
Do we really need 10 words to describe this bloodbath?

TAMPA BAY @ MIAMI
Cancel those playoff tickets, Bucs fans — our defense still blows!

DETROIT @ MINNESOTA
Read what I wrote for Saints/Rams. Apply it here.

JACKSONVILLE @ N.Y. JETS
A win here should get the Jets overconfidence back again.

BUFFALO @ TENNESSEE
Chris Johnson’s 10-win prediction…is still bat s--- crazy.

CINCINNATI @ PITTSBURGH
Fine, Cincinnati is REALLY good — but Pittsburgh wins at home.

DENVER @ WASHINGTON
A LOT more interesting if Shanahan were already coaching Washington.

ATLANTA @ CAROLINA
Carolina WILL beat Atlanta after almost winning in New Orleans.

KANSAS CITY @ OAKLAND
You know that Pats/Colts game? This is the opposite.

SEATTLE @ ARIZONA
I think the Cardinals SHOULD win, so watch them lose.

DALLAS @ GREEN BAY
Tony Romo’s late-season swoon has to start somewhere, right?

PHILADELPHIA @ SAN DIEGO
People in Philly aren’t COMPLETELY panicked yet. They will be.

NEW ENGLAND @ INDIANAPOLIS
I will pick Indy to lose when they start losing.

BALTIMORE @ CLEVELAND
Brady Quinn…Derek Anderson…Really — what difference does it make?

Dancing with the Stars: Dancing Through the Decades

We’re down to the final 5, which works out perfectly because the five remaining celebrities are the five best dancers. (If you wanted to make a case for Mark Dacascos instead of Kelly Osbourne, I’d listen.)

This season, there’s no “star” who infiltrated the final five thanks solely to his or her fan base (I love you Ty Murray, but you had no business being in the final four last year).

As a result, we got one of the more spectacular “Dancing with the Stars” episodes in recent memory. That’s what happens when you combine solid dancing (one couple was nearly perfect) with the unique “DWTS” brand of loopiness. I mean, really – why did it take so long for this show to incorporate that brilliant/ridiculous decades concept?

Enough of me intro-ing. Let’s talk about last night’s episode, which had the couples perform a ballroom dance followed by a Latin round inspired by a specific decade. (Or in Joanna and Derek’s case, the abstract future.) Here’s how they did, in order of appearance.

Mya & Dmitry: Tricky editors. They had Mya insist in rehearsal that the couple was really going to bring the “wow factor” when that’s precisely what Len has been killing them for all this time. I was yelling “don’t do it” at the TV the same way you yell at a teen not to go outside to check out a suspicious noise in a horror movie. Instead, their quickstep was COMPLETELY in hold after a brief intro and absolutely impeccable. And that was only their second best dance of the evening. When I saw how much disco they incorporated into their 70’s samba, I worried Len would complain about too much “messin’ about.” (I mean, what’s the point of doing a 70’s theme if you’re not going to have disco?) Fortunately, the judges flipped for the long-overdue fusion of disco and samba (LOVED the extended samba rolls) and gave them a perfect 30. Dmitry’s porn-stache, on the other hand, gets a perfect 60!

Aaron Carter & Karina: There’s no way Aaron Carter makes it past Tuesday night, right? I mean, the guy got a 29 last week and still had to dance for his life. Despite the inevitability of his departure, I have to say how shocked I am at how much I ended up enjoying the Aaron Carter era in “Dancing with the Stars.” It was more enjoyable than his fox trot which WAS a bit clunky. The judges said they appreciated how hard Aaron worked. The only problem was that we could SEE how hard he was working. For his second dance, he taught a sickly Karina some leftover Backstreet Boys move for their 90’s samba. Aaron was an expert on the 90’s because he had a hit song in 1999. (Isn’t that like saying you’re a child of the 70’s if you were born in 1979?) In the shock of the evening, the samba was actually pretty solid and surprisingly charming – kinda like Aaron’s run on this show.

Joanna Krupa & Derek: I’m not sure how much fan support Joanna has (I continue to insist Derek has more than she does), but she’s lucky that Derek is a mad genius of a choreographer. I can’t really imagine another choreographer on this show (but I can imagine a bunch of “So You Think You Can Dance” choreographers) coming up with that brilliant, funky and VERY well-danced futuristic paso doble (pictured, left). I don’t want to leave Joanna out in the cold either – she absolutely nailed all the side-by-side stuff that is very easy to screw up. That dance alone will put them through to next week, which is lucky for them because their quickstep was sloppy, oddly disconnected and mostly forgettable.

Kelly Osbourne & Louis: I like Kelly a lot (like everyone else), but if I had a vote, I’d send her home this week. Yes, I’m happy that her rehearsal footage was 100% less depressing this week (Louis putting her distractions in a box was funny). And, yes, her jazzy, elegant first-round fox trot was her best dance in weeks. (How is it possible she hadn’t done a ballroom dance since week 1?) However, I was NOT feeling her 60’s jive at all. She just wasn’t physically able to dance fast enough to give us an effective jive. Also, I agree with Carrie Ann that the doll gimmick went on too long and was a little creepy. To me, it was the worst dance of the evening. Still, her fan base has never allowed her to drop to the bottom two, so she should be back next week.

Donny Osmond & Kym: Donny and Kym had an emotional (and overly melodramatic) heart-to-heart in which Donny admitted that he was burned out and not enjoying dancing anymore. (I told you all those high-energy dances were killing him.) Though he ended up in the bottom of the leaderboard, I thought he had a very solid night. I have no idea whether his Viennese waltz was any good, but that’s because I was absolutely transfixed by how well Donny sold the dance. (This doesn’t usually happen to me.) That turned out to be a warm-up for an 80’s paso doble that trumped Joanna and Derek’s futuristic paso in the insanity category. At first, I thought Donny was a “Dangerous”-era Michael Jackson, but the inspiration was clearly Adam Ant. I don’t know what the inspiration for the smoke machine and insane lighting in the middle of his dance was, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Despite being in last place, he’s a lock for the semifinals (and the finals).

So what’d you think of this episode? Is it worse to be an airy fairy or artsy fartsy? When are all these robots from the future that we keep hearing about going to actually show up? Finally, is there any way Aaron Carter doesn’t go home?

Nip/Tuck/Thoughts: Mime Doesn't Pay

I don’t even know where to start.

How about with the fact that, in its final season, Nip/Tuck is delivering some of the most dementedly entertaining episodes in all of television? (And this is the week AFTER Mario Lopez modeled women’s underwear.)

Yes, the show ceased being a serious drama after the whole Carver debacle, but I’m actually digging the show’s “how crazy can we possible get?” attitude as it winds down. It’s almost as if the show is saying, “You can take your tearful reunions or goodbyes and shove ‘em — we’re going to show you a woman who can smash a pumpkin with her breasts!”

That’d be Jenny Juggs, the latest employee at Christian’s favored strip club. (Any guesses on how high his tab there was?) After Christian got a bit handsy with Jenny she beat him up with her gloriously absurd size G breasts (they looked like double Zs to me). Remarkably, this is only Christian’s second most embarrassing injury in the show’s run — I still stay having his nose broken after a woman he was giving oral sex to sneezed is worse. Then again, that’s probably because (like Sean) I couldn’t take Christian’s injury — with his black eye and neck brace — seriously.

Since Jenny was played by Kiersten Warren (nutcase Nora on “Desperate Housewives”) she was a complete psycho. Sean and Christian thought she was scary when she smashed that pumpkin in her YouTube video, but I say destroying the phone at the McNamara/Troy reception office was even worse/better. She begged Christian for a breast reduction, but I think we all knew she’d flip out once her most memorable assets were gone. Still, I hope Jenny makes at least one more appearance before the show signs off for good. (This show is pretty good about bringing back memorable guest stars.) She definitely left an impression.

Matt (pictured, right) has apparently left an impression on his robbery victims. I don’t know why, but I found it amusing when that Asian shop lady said, “You’re that mime that’s been robbing people!” as if Los Angeles is crawling with mimes and Matt just happens to be the one that’s robbing people. (The lineup and each mime’s interpretation of a gun was another highlight.)

As I’ve said before, I’m thoroughly enjoying this subplot against all odds. Christian and Sean almost busted Matt when they tried to see him perform and heard about the famed mime robber. Although, it should still be pretty clear that Matt is NOT bringing in thousands of dollars just from miming, the show did a nice job of having Matt bluff and cast doubt in Sean and Christian’s minds. Of course, all that doubt will probably go away now that Matt showed up at Christian’s place with a hole in his stomach, but it was definitely fun while it lasted.

This episode was so good that I even completely enjoyed Rose McGowan’s Teddy for the first time!

After a little back and forth with a bratty Annie — we know that Teddy wants to kill them, but Annie doesn’t, so the attitude is actually mostly uncalled for — Teddy suggested Sean, Annie and Conor (80% less claw-y) go on a camping trip. (Great job by McGowan in this episode in turning up the sweet/creepy.)

During the trip, Teddy drugged Sean, Conor and (or so she thought) Annie and tried to poison them while they slept with carbon monoxide. Unfortunately for her, the episode had a twist straight out of Jeffrey Deaver’s “Twisted” collection of short stories (check it out!).

As soon as she ran encountered the loner, astronomy aficionado, I told my girlfriend Erica that the dude was giving off a serial killer-y vibe. Indeed, he tried to knock her out, but Teddy ran back to Sean’s camper for safety, but he had left with his kids. At first, I thought Teddy might be able to pin the attempted murder of Sean and his family on the guy, but Teddy’s character had no such luck.

Now Sean pretty much figures his wife tried to kill him and Teddy will probably be discovered in several different pieces. (Oh well, serves her right!)

So what’d you think of this episode? Do you think we’ll see Teddy again? (Alive?) Do you feel that the show has gotten TOO crazy? Finally, are you looking forward to the return of Julia?

NFL 2009 Week 9 picks

Now we’re talking!

After a great week of picks (10-3 week, 79-37 season), I’m feeling good about selecting this latest crop of games. If only I could extend this good fortune to my fantasy football teams (more on that debacle soon).

WASHINGTON @ ATLANTA
Washington owner Daniel Snyder (pictured, left) recently apologized for his team’s sorry performance. Admitting there’s a problem is the first step. Unfortunately, whatever the second step is won’t help them win on the road against the Falcons.

ARIZONA @ CHICAGO
Does anyone have ANY idea with what the hell Arizona is doing losing at home to Carolina? Chicago’s not really too much better, but I’m betting Kurt Warner won’t love playing outdoors in chilly Chicago.

BALTIMORE @ CINCINNATI
I know the Bengals beat the Ravens a few weeks ago, but Baltimore looked GOOD against the undefeated Broncos last Sunday. It was the same “this might be the best team in the league” good from the first three weeks.

HOUSTON @ INDIANAPOLIS
Ok, if Houston wins THIS game, I’ll buy them as a playoff team.

MIAMI @ NEW ENGLAND
Miami’s going to have a hard time running their wildcat once they fall behind by a couple of scores.

GREEN BAY @ TAMPA BAY
Meet the new QB, same as the old QB. (I’m not getting fooled again - so I’m not picking the Bucs to win again this year.)

KANSAS CITY @ JACKSONVILLE
That’s a lot of suck in one game. I’m going with the Chiefs on the road because K.C. won’t be inexplicably compelled to play high-priced, useless, probable-scumbag running back Larry Johnson like they have been all year. (They might even have some fun in this game.)

CAROLINA @ NEW ORLEANS
Who will throw more touchdowns for the Saints - Drew Brees or Jake Delhomme throwing INT TDs?

DETROIT @ SEATTLE
Matt Hasselbeck’s ribs are hurting, but the perfect elixir is a home date against the Lions.

TENNESSEE @ SAN FRANCISCO
The Titans need to win a few more games to become overly excited about the Vince Young era.

SAN DIEGO @ N.Y. GIANTS
I had ragged on the Cowboys for not beating anyone good until recently. However, the only “good” team the Giants have beaten are the Cowboys. Barely. Still, I’ll take them at home because I don’t see San Diego as a tough team that goes on the road and picks up a big win against a quality team.

DALLAS @ PHILALPHIA
Speaking of the Cowboys, the temperature is starting to go down – and generally that means Tony Romo’s quality of play will soon follow.

PITTSBURGH @ DENVER
I feel like Pittsburgh can very easily reproduce what Baltimore did to Denver last week. (Smack Kyle Orton in the mouth and shut down the run.) Not a good matchup for the Broncos.

Heroes: The Truth About Charlie

Fans who’ve been watching this show from the beginning don’t agree on much, but I think it’s safe to say we see eye-to-eye on at least one issue: we want this show to be as good as it was during season 1.

The writers and producers behind “Heroes” seem to actually be aware of this sentiment and - for better AND worse - have been happy to comply. After a mostly-disastrous second season (the writers’ strike was definitely a factor), season 3 brought the “Cold Wars” episode which played like an unofficial follow-up to the classic, HRG-centered “Company Man” episode from the show’s freshman season.

Monday night brought the show’s most shameless, “please watch and remember the good times” nostalgia-fest with “Once Upon a Time in Texas” and the return of Jayma Mays (pictured, right) as Charlie, who’s real super power is being absolutely adorable.
Here’s my problem. When I say that I want the show to be as good as it was in season 1, I don’t literally mean that I want the show go back to season 1 plotlines. (In fact, the overuse of the time travel device is, in my opinion, the biggest thing that has absolutely killed the show!) What I want is a return to the excitement, danger and “what’s going to happen next” feel of season 1. By repeatedly going back to the show’s glory days, “Heroes” is effectively sabotaging any chance it has of becoming a good show in the present.

That being said, I definitely enjoyed seeing Hiro interact with Charlie, as well as season 1 Ando (different haircut) and season 1 Sylar (aka Brain Man).

I’m not really sure why Hiro all of a sudden decided he could change the past and stop Sylar from killing Charlie (didn’t he accept the futility of altering the future when he failed to save that roof jumper in the episode called, um, “Acceptance”), but I went along with it because that’s just what we have to do with “Heroes” these days.

I liked the white hat/black hat joke, and I REALLY liked seeing old-school scary Sylar (although he WAS much scarier when he barely spoke at all during season 1). Initially, Hiro succeeded in saving Charlie’s life AND convincing his old self (“moron”) to make her fall in love with him, but then he learned Charlie would soon die of a brain aneurism.

Re-enter Sylar, who fixed the aneurism in exchange for Hiro’s knowledge of the future. However unlikely this deal really was, I rolled with it because I can believe that season 1 Sylar would be vain enough to want to know how he dies because he’d be convinced he could prevent it. Also, Quinto’s acting during the scene where Hiro tells him that he dies alone with no one mourning him was brilliant. (This guy is simply too good for this show now.)

By the way, while all of this was going on, we got a thoroughly unnecessary subplot with HRG and a partner who was blonder, whiter and decidedly less Haitian-y than the one we knew from season 1. She was played by Elisabeth Rohm and she tempted Noah into having an affair. I get that the writers wanted to show us that the shady, kidnapping season 1 Noah was a good guy that cared about his family. However, I didn’t NEED to see this character retroactively put in a positive light. I’m not saying he was cheating on Sandra, but I like the idea that he wasn’t as good a person then as he is today and this flashback somewhat robbed him of the transformation he’s undergone.

Oh well, at least this storyline introduced the phrase, “going Haitian” (having your memory wiped) into the lexicon. (Speaking of which, can we get a Jimmy Jean-Louis cameo – I mean we saw Isaac Mendez last night!)

After a brief bout of ungratefulness for Charlie (she was peeved that Hiro exchanged her life for all the people Sylar goes on to kill), Hiro and Charlie got their happily ever after. That is until Evil Butterfly Man Samuel kidnapped her and stranded her in time. (Samuel and his shady whatever is really getting to be a nuisance at this point.) I'm guessing she'll stay lost in time until Mays can get a break from "Glee" to shoot more scenes.

Turns out Samuel needs Hiro to join him so he can undo a terrible wrong – it appears that several weeks earlier Samuel was responsible for the death of…Mohinder! So, let me get this straight: a solid portion of this season has been dedicated to SAVING Mohinder’s life?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So what’d you think of this episode? Why are Samuel’s people dying? (“Our family’s getting smaller, and our graveyard’s getting bigger?) Was Claire really THAT well endowed in season 1? (Nice to see the iconic cheerleading uniform again.) Finally, is it true what they say - once you “go Haitian”, you never go back?

Project Runway: Girls, Girls, Girls

The outcome of this episode was SO predetermined and obvious that I didn’t even think twice of going with a mild spoiler as this column’s title.

Still, I have to give the producers behind this show credit for (almost) making it (kinda) interesting.

I hope you don’t mind if this is one my shorter recaps. I mean, what is there to say about an episode that was mostly comprised of the designers spouting variations of, “This is the last challenge”, “We have to wow the judges this week because it’s the last challenge”, “I really want to go to Bryant Park”, and “Going to Bryant Park means everything to me.”

The challenge was to create a look inspired by the J. Paul Getty Museum in Los Angeles, which made me think immediately of the season 4 challenge that had the contestants create a look inspired by the Metropolitan Museum of Art. (Unfortunately, it also made me think of how much more exciting/entertaining/challenging Christian, Rami, Jillian and Co. were compared to this year’s crop of designers.)

Our current contestants ended up doing little to shake the underwhelming tag.

This week’s workroom sessions didn’t bring anything new, other than Althea sort of assuming the role of main antagonist. (I thought Irina was going to say Althea was like King Kong because she was really tall, not because she “grabs everything.”) Irina happily informed us that she would never say anything behind anyone’s back that she wouldn’t say to their face, leading me to let out my most sarcastic “HA!”

For example, she criticized Christopher for having a “false confidence” right after we were shown her being nice to him. I don’t believe Christopher has a “false” confidence, I think he has a misguided confidence. A false confidence implies that he doesn’t believe in himself or what he’s saying. Unfortunately, I think Christopher actually believes in everything he’s done the past month. (Tim certainly didn’t believe in the accent color he wanted to use while they were at Mood.)

After a depressing mentoring visit from Tim (was he REALLY excited about any of the outfits, except maybe Gordana’s?) the runway show came, went and disappointed again.

Heidi and Nina were joined by Cynthia Rowley and Cindy Crawford (what’s SHE been up to). Although there was no top 3 or bottom 3, none of the judges seemed terribly excited about ANY of the looks. (How sad is it that, facing their most important challenge of the season, none of these people could get the judges or viewers excited?)

Althea – who’s never been in the bottom 2 – delivered her worst look of the season after spending too much time on a puckered skirt. She also forced her model Tanisha to wear her boobs around her belly again thanks to a flimsy top. Although Irina’s look got some positive comments, it was too droopy for my taste and Nina said it looked “too old.” She also over-accessorized her model Kalyn and the judges forced her to take off her shoes and hair clip thingy. (That’s what happens when you don’t use the Macy’s Accessory Wall thoughtfully.) Carol-Hannah did “the best”, but made a pretty-yet-unexciting dress that had little to do with her inspiration and was too reminiscent of her past work. Nina called it “safe perfection.” (Not exactly glowing praise.)

That being said, it was pretty clear those three would be going to Bryant Park, and they absolutely deserve to be there out of the designers who are left.

I believe that’s why the judges tempered their praise of Gordana’s work (probably the best of the night). If they praised Gordana’s dress too much, they might have been forced to send her to Bryant Park over the suddenly-struggling Althea. Gordana has been WAY too inconsistent to earn a spot in Bryant Park, and she just seemed to be in a generally foul mood last night. (Maybe it came from hanging around with new BFF Irina too much.) Still, I had to laugh when Nina criticized her by saying that she “didn’t know who Gordana was as a designer.” How WOULD Nina know? She’s been gone half the season!

Then there’s Christopher, the self-proclaimed “wacky, weird guy.” It’s not so much that he was “wacky or weird” as much as he was totally clueless. I REALLY appreciated that he went outside the box and didn’t use a painting or work of art for inspiration. (Christopher used a fountain and the algae at the bottom.) I LOVE that he tried to find beauty in an unusual place – like this guy. Still, his final creation was (again!) ultimately misguided. The bottom of the dress was too stiff and heavy and appeared to be smeared with blue crayon. I think the judges got it exactly right in the end – he has good ideas, but doesn’t have the experience to execute them.

The judges, I believe, also got it exactly right with this final three.

So what’d you think of the episode? Why the hell was L.A. mayor Antonio Villaraigosa there to present the challenge along with Tim? (I’m guessing this was filmed pre-scandal.) Finally, who do you think will win this season of “Project Runway”?

America's Next Top Recap: Miller Time

Yeah, well, if Tyra told you to jump off a cliff, would you do THAT too?!

Apparently, the answer is yes — at least for this particular group of petite models.

I was a little surprised by the fact that we’re already down to final 5 — not having the customary waste-of-time recap episode with “lost” or “behind-the-scenes” footage threw me off. While it hasn’t been the most successful season/cyle in terms of the quality of the contestants, I’ll be damned if these girls aren’t killing themselves (almost literally) to win this thing and entertain us.

I found last night’s episode to be pretty entertaining. A big reason for that was the presence of guest judge/mentor Marisa Miller (pictured, right).

After being paddled ashore (how much you wanna bet the girls were told who she was beforehand — I just don’t buy that everyone automatically knew her), the 5’8” supermodel basically gave the girls lessons on how to elongate themselves, show off their curves and generally pose sexily. (For the record, “sexily” is my favorite adverb.)

Miller also delivered an immeasurable amount of unintentional humor. After telling the girls to get in the water, roll in the sand and take a sexy shower, she proceeded to shout suggestive-sounding things that weren’t really suggestive like, “lemme see your butt!”, “down on your knees!”, “close your mouth!” By the way, this all happened BEFORE she called Jennifer’s photo “too erect” during panel. (Yes, I giggled when she said “too erect” — I’m officially 13 years old.)

Unfortunately what Miller also did is the same thing Tyra does whenever she gives these contestants a lesson: she showed us what a damn good model she is, and how relatively inadequate these girls are when compared to a real model.

Still, Marisa “Barbie Toe” Miller was so helpful that I wish Tyra would have brought her on earlier in the season, because it’s obvious most of these girls just have no idea what they’re doing. (And why would they?) Then again, Marisa probably only agreed to come on during the Hawaii episodes. I would suggest that Tyra make Marisa Miller a permanent part of this show, but we all remember what happened the last time the panel had a strong voice that dared to disagree with Tyra on a regular basis. (Hi, Paulina!)

The weekly challenge had the girls throwing themselves off a rocky cliff and posing for a photo in mid-air. I realize that even Tyra’s not crazy enough to put these girls in real danger, but this was still some scary-looking s---. (That water looked WAY too shallow for my taste.) Nicole triumphed during the challenge mostly because she was the only contestant to actually incorporate Marisa’s feedback (side pose/show off the curves). Can we just give the girl the trophy already? I was amused to see that even the rest of the contestants (especially Jennifer) are aware of Nicole’s dominance, though it worries me that she’s peaking too early.

Nicole earned some nice jewelry and extra frames for the week’s photo shoot. She shared them with Sundai, who shared them with Laura, who shared them with Jennifer, leaving Erin out. To the surprise of no one, Erin whined about how unfair it was that she’d have less frames to work with than everyone else. I guess no one told her that this is what happens when you’re a whiny, immature brat that nobody likes. (I still remember her pushing people out of the way during the Walmart race.)

That being said, this group of girls apparently gets along so well that there was absolutely no drama at the house. I can just picture the editors throwing their hands up in exasperation before settling on going with footage that showed the contestants throwing Laura a birthday party, and making her breakfast. I actually don’t mind, since this is preferable to the usual trumped up racial drama, though I probably could’ve done without the shot of Nicole going to sleep.

The next day brought the photo shoot which had the girls posing underwater. The girls with the extra frames (meaning, NOT Erin) would come to the surface and receive feedback from Mr. Jay before doing back underwater.

Jennifer won the best photo of the week. It was very strong, but I agreed with Marissa in that it was too erect (tee-hee) and that it didn’t have enough going on for me. At first, I thought Nicole deserved the win, but her feet were mildly terrifying. I would’ve split the difference and given Laura (who is afraid of suffocating — um, just like the rest of us) the win.

The bottom two was comprised of Sundai and Erin (welcome back!). The judges liked Sundai’s body in the picture, but not her ill-lit face. Meanwhile, Erin’s picture was mostly a disaster and she was making her third straight visit to the bottom 2. So, of course, they kept her around once again. (Are we going to have a Christopher from “Project Runway” situation here?)

I know Sundai made too many excuses and, to be blunt, had no chance in hell of actually winning this thing. Still, her picture was (marginally) better than Erin’s and she deserved to stay. Erin, on the other hand, is getting worse each week. Also, no one likes her. (Nice job, Tyra.)

Goodbye Sundai. I’ll miss your creatively-spelled first name, your over-enunciation, and your tales of growing up in an orphanage. (I won’t miss your hideous outfits at panel.)

So what’d you think of this episode? Given how many second chances she’s had, is Erin a lock for the final 3? What was the point of having Nigel at the challenge if he wasn’t taking the photos? Finally, would you watch a show hosted by Marisa Miller?