American Idol: Men's World

Well that was a surprise.

When I fired up my DVR Tuesday night, I expected to see the 10 remaining female semifinalists doing battle on the “Idol” stage. Instead, due to a medical issue affecting one of the ladies, we got to hear the 10 guys.

Another surprise was the men’s overall performance — I’d expected them to be laughably bad (like last week), but they turned out to be unoffensively underwhelming. Yay progress!

Just like last week, I’m going to split the contestants — several of whom seemed to wield a guitar as if it were a safety blanket — into who’s in, who’s out and who’s in between.

WHO’S IN

My house is no longer divided on the Alex Lambert issue — I like him! (This, despite the fact that he’s a dead ringer for Edward Norton in “Primal Fear”, which creeps me out.)

My main complaint with Alex last week had little to do with his voice (which is still a mite twee) and a LOT to do with the nerves made him thoroughly uncomfortable to watch (not even in a fun way). Alex earned some points right away by acknowledging his fantastic stage absence last week (though saying he threw up was probably TM information).

However, his real genius move was bringing that guitar with him on stage and planting himself on a stool to sing John Legend’s “Everybody Knows.” Alex is an incredibly endearing but incredibly green performer, so anything that keeps him from having to engage the audience or move around the stage is the way to go. Most importantly, Alex forced me to utter four of my most dreaded words: “You were right, Erica.” (Shudder.)

Alex wins the Most Improved Award, but got surprisingly stiff competition for that award from Michael Lynche (pictured, left), who appeared to be in his sweet spot with his show-opening “It’s a Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World.” This was his best performance (and I could make the case that it was the best of the evening), but I still don’t see greatness in Michael. However, after last night, I see “pretty goodness”, which is a definite step up.

Unfortunately, Andrew Garcia has been taking a step down in the judges’ eyes ever since his standout “Straight Up” Hollywood Week performance. The judges basically confirmed my suspicion that they’ve been penalizing him for simply not living up to “Straight Up.” That’s unfair, because last night they could’ve penalized him for being a bit boring (even sleepy) on the verses and going flat a few times. Still, his goodwill from “Straight Up” is definitely enough to get him to next week — I’m just not sure how much longer it’ll last. ($20 says he whips the guitar/safety blanket back out next week.) I really hope he doesn’t become completely discouraged by Simon repeatedly telling him how “disappointed” he is in him.

Finally, there’s Casey James who was a more convincing guitar player than singer during “I Don’t Wanna Be.” Unfortunately, his voice simply wasn’t strong enough for the Gavin DeGraw hit. (I suspect his voice isn’t strong enough for lots of songs). Good job by Kara in pointing this out. Still, the season’s heartthrob should cruise to the next round.

I SHOULD SAY THEY’RE IN TROUBLE, BUT THEY’RE NOT

If I converted over to Erica’s side in the Alex Lambert issue, I can claim a small victory when it comes to Aaron Kelly, whom she used to defend:

“I don’t like him” – Erica, after his actually-should’ve-been-even-more-countrified take on “My Girl.” I’d also like someone to explain to me why Aaron gets a free-pass for over-singing, while two of his (blacker) competitors get (justifiably) raked across the coals for their embellishments.

I’m also going to put Lee Dewyze in this category, not because I don’t think he’s good (although I have to question his taste level after picking “Lips of an Angel”). Like Alex Lambert, he’s got a distinct tone and his lack of stage polish is endearing (the difference being that Lee doesn’t look like he’s going to pee his pants on live TV).

I’m putting him in this category because, apparently, I need to get my ears cleaned out. I mean, what the hell are the judges (mostly Simon) talking about when they say he’s head and shoulders above the rest of the competition in the vocal department? Are they not hearing those flat notes when he starts yelling? Oh well, he’s a likable dude and I hope he gets a functional belt — I don’t need to hear him sing “Pants on the Ground” next week.

I SHOULDN’T SAY THEY’RE IN TROUBLE, BUT THEY ARE

I like Todrick Hall. Although it was old-fashioned and smooth-jazzy, I actually thought Tundrick (as Simon butchered his name) did a decent job of taking the judges’ notes from last week and toning down the “artistry” in his cover of “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” I think he sounded really good, so the harsh critiques (Simon said he should JUST dance) seemed out of place.

I’D PACK MY SUITCASE IF I WERE YOU

On the other hand, Jermaine Sellers deserves every harsh critique he has coming his way.

He deserves criticism for his voice (why would you over-sing one of the most famous message songs ever and muddle the MESSAGE), his style (the Pee-Wee Herman look was even worse than the onesie) and his attitude. I mean, this guy just doesn’t get it (making the choice of “What’s Going On” strangely appropriate) — when the judges tell him to pull back a bit, they don’t just mean that you should scream less. (Sigh.)

Of course, this was all a prelude to his extremely unappealing interview segment after he sang, in which he invited the judges to come to church and Simon accepted. Jermaine also claimed God would get him through to next week, hilariously prompting Simon to tell Ryan that he needn’t bother with Jermaine’s phone number.

Honestly, other being related to him, what possible reason could anyone have for voting for this guy?

That would leave either Tim Urban or John Park on outs along with Jermaine.

Up until the beginning of this sentence, I believed that Tim Urban would be the one to home. His “Come on and Get Higher” was an appropriately safe choice after the disaster that was “Apologize” last week. If this show is a boat race, then Tim’s boat got capsized last week. Instead of worrying about winning the race, Tim had to first get the boat right side up again, which is what “Come on Get Higher” did. Unfortunately, Tim has no chance of winning the boat race.

However, I believe he’ll get another week. The reviews were rough for Tim (“you should go into acting” never sounded like harsher advice) and, though I believe Simon went easy on him to prevent giving Tim sympathy votes, I think Tim will grace us with his presence another week. I mean, if he can survive “Apologize”, he can survive anything.

That’ll leave John Park on the outside looking in. John just had a deadly combination of factors going against him. He performed early in the show (second) and he sang a John Mayer song (not exactly the most popular guy in the world right now). More importantly, he was deadly dull for the second consecutive week, offering nothing new or exciting to “Gravity”.

Like the judges, I feel as if John isn’t connecting with his material. Leave it to Erica to set me straight: “I think he’s feeling it, but he’s not making us feel it too.”

Four. Dreaded. Words.

So what’d you think of this episode? Will Todrick ever sing a song originally recorded by a male artist? (So far, we’ve gotten Lady Gaga, Kelly Clarkson and Tina Turner.) Has there ever been a more unlikable contestant that’s made it this far on the show? Finally, who do YOU think is going home Thursday night?