American Idol: Idol Worship

A belated Happy International Woman’s Day to you all!

That wasn’t the only cause for celebration last night. The season 10 finals kicked off with the top 13 taking the stage

The finalists were tasked with performing Songs by their Musical Idols, which brings up the burning question: is Rihanna ANYBODY’S musical idol?! (I’m thinking maybe Willow Smith’s, but that’s about it.)

I’m not usually ConspiracyTheory Guy, but do the producers of this show really expect us to believe that Naima Adedapo (pictured, right) — the seemingly soulful, throw-back songstress — looks up to Rihanna as her musical idol? Is it even possible to be older than your “musical idol”?! (Naima is older than Rihanna.) Also, it just so happens to be a coincidence that Naima worked this week with Tricky Stewart, the producer who originally worked with Rihanna on her smash “Umbrella”?!?! I call shenanigans!

Even though I’m not sure I buy Naima as a reggae-rapping dancing fool, I didn’t hate her performance. Then again, I also didn’t hate Jordan Dorsey’s disastrous take on Usher’s “OMG” because both performances were like a big, bright, shining beacon of crazy in an ocean of ballads we’ve heard on this show too many times. As I said last week, performing a Rihanna song is smart because there’s a good chance you can improve on it. Unfortunately, Naima sounded as out-of-breath and off-key as Rihanna sounds when the pop star sings “Umbrella.” If Naima was set on singing that song, she might’ve been wise to explore the Mandy Moore arrangement.

But then again that would’ve deprived us of, for better or worse, a truly singular performance. Just like with Melissa Leo during Oscar season, it’s becoming slowly apparent that Naima may be insane…and I’m ok with that. I overstand.

My sources tell me that other people sang last night, so I suppose I’ll talk about them too.

My favorite singer of the night was James Durbin. Yeah, seriously! I was immediately encouraged by his surprising (meaning “non-metal”) choice of Paul McCartney’s “Maybe I’m Amazed.” He started out ever-so-slightly rough, but he quickly found his groove. He was able to dial it WAY back, while still providing an ample showcase for that powerhouse voice of his. Not only was this the first time I didn’t find him completely off-putting, but I thoroughly enjoyed him. Most importantly, he ditched the fabric tail!

Maybe he can give Jacob Lusk a lesson on dialing it way back without losing any of your punch. Although those high notes Jacob was hitting at the end of “I Believe I Can Fly” were truly remarkable, I feel like he’s just yelling at us at this point. Even worse, Randy was right in pointing out he went off-key and seemed out of control at certain points.

As a result, the award for Best Use of a Gospel Choir goes to Casey Abrams. His take on Joe Cocker’s version of “With a Little Help From My Friends” may not have been as transcendent as his Hollywood Week breakthrough, but it was still rock solid. I’m already a little worried that my expectations for Casey are so high that even a solid performance last night seems a bit underwhelming, but that’s my own damn fault.

I’m not quite at that same point with Scotty McCreery, but I can foresee a scenario a few weeks from now where all his performances sound a bit same-y and I’m ultimately disappointing when he’s merely “good.” That being said, Scotty was strong last night with his take on “The River”, but I was most struck by the thunderous response from the crowd. This kid isn’t going anywhere for a while. (Says the guy whose pick to win “Top Model” this year quit the competition the following week.)

On the ladies side, I once again have to give Pia Toscana the gold star. It’s not as enthusiastic a gold star as last week, but still. When an “Idol” contestant takes on a song by the holy trinity of female vocalists (Mariah, Whitney, Celine), they’re in a no-win situation unless they radically re-work it. So even though, Pia sounded really good on this song, there was no way she was ever going to sing it better than Celine, so this wasn’t as much of an out-of-nowhere stunner as her performance last week. Fortunately, that shiny dress she was wearing was definitely a stunner.

James, Casey, Scotty and Pia were pretty much the four people I really liked. The rest were either disappointing or exactly as bad as I thought they’d be.

I guess my best of the rest was Haley Reinhart. I can definitely see how Randy thought her cover of “Blue” was sleepy, but it was still sung very well. I just hope Haley finds a way to be a more dynamic singer without resorting to her “sexy” moves because she really has a pretty great voice.

My biggest disappointment of the night was probably Stefano Langone, who sang Stevie Wonder’s “Lately.” His producer somehow convinced him that a brutal disco mix was a good idea, and Stefano seemed to struggle to hit some of the notes. However, when he was on (usually during the high parts), he sounded pretty good. A terrible jazz arrangement on Charlie Chapman, I mean Chaplin’s “Smile” almost derailed Thia Megia. I can appreciate that she’d want to pep the musically melancholy tune up, but for the second week in a row the music has distracted from her voice. She’s been at her best when she’s singing with little or no musical accompaniment.

I was disappointed in Paul McDonald’s take on Ryan Adams’ “Come Pick Me Up”, and I’m personally offended by the notion that if I didn’t like this performance I don’t “get” Paul. Well, I’ve liked Paul up until this point. However, I also thought the low part at the beginning was painful, the chorus was unpleasantly nasal-y, and that he was generally dancing around the stage like his choreographer was Jack Sparrow. At least he finished strong. Bad news when the highlight of your segment is Seacrest making fun of your moves.

I can’t say I was disappointing in Lauren Alaina because I’m not as high on her as everyone else. Her “Any Man of Mine” was a fun song that was performed competently. Nothing more, nothing less. If anything, she seemed a little out of breath on the up-tempo number. Lauren might want to work a bit on her slightly pissy attitude (imagine if the judges had actually been harsh to her), but at least she had “fun out there.” (That makes one of us.) Mostly, I’m just waiting for Lauren to be as good as the judges keep telling me she is.

That leaves Karen Rodriguez and Ashthon Jones as the two worst performers of the evening.

OF COURSE, Karen picked a Selena song (“I Could Fall in Love”), but she could’ve at least made up for her totally predictable choice by singing it well. Instead, she labored the whole time in what was the evening’s most painful performance. Whenever Seacrest or one of the judges (in this case J.Lo) starts making excuses for you (Karen couldn’t hear herself well), you know you’re in trouble.

Finally, there’s Ashthon Jones who took on one of Diana Ross’s less well-known songs and sang it pretty badly. The best backhanded compliment of the night came when the judges praised Ashthon for her ability to get back on pitch after going sharp or flat. (She had plenty of practice on this song!) I like that Ashthon challenged herself, but doing a mediocre job on a song that no one knows is a surefire way to punch your ticket home.

So what’d you think of this episode? Should anyone besides Rihanna attempt to sing Rihanna songs? Why did Jimmy Iovine insist on wearing those headphones for his mostly useless interviews? Finally, who do you think is going home tonight? (I’d be surprised if it’s not Ashthon. She didn’t have fan support last week — which is why she was a wild card pick — and she gave a thoroughly forgettable performance that also wasn’t train wreck-y enough — hi Naima! — to rally her fans to save her.)